Contribution for birthday party - OK or not?

ballsymchugh · 25-02-2014 12:39AM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

It is stingy, isn't it? I couldn't imagine throwing a big party for my OH and asking the guests to pay for it. If I couldn't cover it myself, I wouldn't do it.

it reminds me of larry's cousin in Curb your Enthusiasm, asking larry to pay for his wife's hat making course.

Stavros Murphy · 25-02-2014 12:40AM

AdMMM wrote: »

They shouldn't be throwing a party that they can't afford to throw!

Austerity is the new bling. It should be Aldi sweetmeats and fifty five bottles of plonk. Bring your own bucket.

delw · 25-02-2014 12:43AM

Who are the actors that the party goers have to pay for? RSVP saying you don't like the actors & your not giving them your hard earned money.

anncoates · 25-02-2014 12:44AM

ballsymchugh wrote: »

i think Martha Shy Table lives in london!

Phew.

wil · 25-02-2014 12:48AM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

It is stingy, isn't it? I couldn't imagine throwing a big party for my OH and asking the guests to pay for it. If I couldn't cover it myself, I wouldn't do it.

There's your answer. Someone did that to me before.

Went all out to impress his girlfriend (a friend of mine) after asking for suggestions then inviting us along. End of night, kept his loads of cash in his pocket and we had to pay up on the spot. Not impressed. If it was the other way around I'd be too embarrassed to show such stinginess.

They're not together any more.

Ihatecuddles · 25-02-2014 12:55AM

If my OH organised that for me, I'd kill him. I'd be mortified he asked people to contribute!!

osarusan · 25-02-2014 12:56AM

Just say you can't make it. Give some generic personal reason.

Did she pull the trick about initially mentioning a date you should keep free for 'something small' so that you wouldn't be able to cancel even after the full plan was explained?

Muise... · 25-02-2014 12:56AM

mauzo! wrote: »

If my OH organised that for me, I'd kill him. I'd be mortified he asked people to contribute!!

Ah now you've gone and ruined the murder mystery!

Fox_In_Socks · 25-02-2014 12:57AM

Muise... wrote: »

Ah now you've gone and ruined the murder mystery!

With the poker in the greenhouse and all!

shopaholic01 · 25-02-2014 12:59AM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

With the poker in the greenhouse and all!

Is that an innuendo? :P

25-02-2014 01:01AM

osarusan wrote: »

Just say you can't make it. Give some generic personal reason.

Did she pull the trick about initially mentioning a date you should keep free for 'something small' so that you wouldn't be able to cancel even after the full plan was explained?

No in fairness she was up front about there being a contribution. I suppose she thought we could start saving for it!

Fox_In_Socks · 25-02-2014 01:02AM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

Is that an inneundo? :P

In YOUR endo!

(No, not really. If I wanted an innuendo, I would have had her murder him with a cucumber. :eek:)

Muise... · 25-02-2014 01:05AM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

In YOUR endo!

(No, not really. If I wanted an innuendo, I would have had her murder him with a cucumber. :eek:)

in the pantry?

Fox_In_Socks · 25-02-2014 01:08AM

Muise... wrote: »

in the pantry?

I suppose it's as good a word as any. If ever you wanted a word describing a room that was in essence, a small nook, then pantry would be it.:)

That or murdered in the cranny.

25-02-2014 01:13AM

Fox_In_Socks wrote: »

I suppose it's as good a word as any. If ever you wanted a word describing a room that was in essence, a small nook, then pantry would be it.:)

That or murdered in the cranny.

I can't believe we got to page 5 before it descended into this. Colour me shocked AH.

25-02-2014 01:50AM

OK, so what should my excuse be? 'Something else on that weekend?'

endacl · 25-02-2014 01:53AM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

OK, so what should my excuse be? 'Something else on that weekend?'

I'd go with 'sorry, can't make it'. You don't owe them an explanation. Maybe add a 'we should meet up for a drink soon though', if you feel bad about this.

I'm sure you won't be the only one's to say it.

deandean · 25-02-2014 02:03AM

the tight fecker is probably aiming to make a profit from his friends at his party.
I wouldn't go.

wil · 25-02-2014 02:12AM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

OK, so what should my excuse be? 'Something else on that weekend?'

no explanation, simple sorry, wish you had told me sooner, family plans.

If they really mean something to you suggest next time they're in town, take them out for a meal. £50 max. Present sorted.
Embarrass the wife by telling her she doesn't have to pay. (Don't stop her if she does)

Lando Griffin · 25-02-2014 02:23AM

Id love to go, sounds like a good dose of Shakespeare is in the cards, supporting the arts does come at a price IMO.
"He that wants money, means, and content is without three good friends"

25-02-2014 11:41AM

I would imagine the guy would be quite embarrassed to hear that his wife is charging admission! Although they have both become incredibly self-absorbed since their daughter was born two years ago. We've bought clothes for the kid, remembered her birthdays etc and they barely manage to reply to the odd email asking how they're getting on. My partner got a massive promotion last year and not a peep out of our mate, even though he works at the same company and definitely heard about it. I guess their life is just their kid now...until they want your to fund their parties!

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 25-02-2014 12:03PM

They sound like those couples who plan big elaborate weddings that they can't afford, and then request cash gifts from the guests to finance it.

ronjo · 25-02-2014 12:06PM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

I would imagine the guy would be quite embarrassed to hear that his wife is charging admission! Although they have both become incredibly self-absorbed since their daughter was born two years ago. We've bought clothes for the kid, remembered her birthdays etc and they barely manage to reply to the odd email asking how they're getting on. My partner got a massive promotion last year and not a peep out of our mate, even though he works at the same company and definitely heard about it. I guess their life is just their kid now...until they want your to fund their parties!

I thought you were skint? :pac:

Alf Veedersane · 25-02-2014 12:10PM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

I would imagine the guy would be quite embarrassed to hear that his wife is charging admission! Although they have both become incredibly self-absorbed since their daughter was born two years ago. We've bought clothes for the kid, remembered her birthdays etc and they barely manage to reply to the odd email asking how they're getting on. My partner got a massive promotion last year and not a peep out of our mate, even though he works at the same company and definitely heard about it. I guess their life is just their kid now...until they want your to fund their parties!

So, why is this a big decision?

Sounds like an easily-made decision.

"Hi, I can't go. I'll be doing anything else".

godtabh · 25-02-2014 12:12PM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

Got an invite to a friend's big birthday which is next weekend. He used to be a fairly close friend, but we have drifted apart quite a bit and the last time I saw him was about last June.

His wife has arranged some sort of 'themed' evening with actors and so on, and has asked for a contribution of £25 per person for it. This is quite a lot for me and my partner at the moment, as my hours were cut and we're struggling a bit. In addition to that, he lives miles away and the train is £25 per person on top of that, so the evening will end up costing us £100 as well as any gifts, wine, etc.

Would you go if you were me? It's annoying that we've been asked for a contribution, IMO - I'd definitely go otherwise but I feel like it's a hell of a lot to ask for a birthday party. It's not like it's £5 each or something...can't decide what to do!

Is it a key themed party and is the wife hot?

geckovision · 25-02-2014 12:14PM

That sounds ridiculous and she sounds like a muppet. I've a feeling it'll be her, him and a few actors. What a sh!tty and not to mention, weird birthday.

And if she needs contributions to fulfil this nonsense then she should scrap it and do something more modest.

25-02-2014 12:21PM

ronjo wrote: »

I thought you were skint? :pac:

We are. I had to take 5 months off work, so my partner had to cover all the rent and bills, and we live in London. Massive promotion doesn't equal lots of money in our industry, though. It's just a good opportunity for him.

25-02-2014 12:23PM

geckovision wrote: »

That sounds ridiculous and she sounds like a muppet. I've a feeling it'll be her, him and a few actors. What a sh!tty and not to mention, weird birthday.

And if she needs contributions to fulfil this nonsense then she should scrap it and do something more modest.

I might actually just say we can't afford it so they can't accuse us of not bothering. If it were a normal party, we'd go.

FTA69 · 25-02-2014 12:27PM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

I would imagine the guy would be quite embarrassed to hear that his wife is charging admission! Although they have both become incredibly self-absorbed since their daughter was born two years ago. We've bought clothes for the kid, remembered her birthdays etc and they barely manage to reply to the odd email asking how they're getting on. My partner got a massive promotion last year and not a peep out of our mate, even though he works at the same company and definitely heard about it. I guess their life is just their kid now...until they want your to fund their parties!

I hate to break it to you but your friends are assholes. Don't worry, it happens to the best of us; one minute we get on with someone and the next we realise that in reality, they're complete tossers. Murder mystery parties? Charging admission to a vanity-fest in some backwater miles outside the city? F*ck that.

I've never heard of such effete and self-absorbed nonsense in all my life. Tell them your mam is over that weekend to visit and then ignore them from then on.

Eejitry of the highest order.

ronjo · 25-02-2014 12:30PM

Martha Shy Table wrote: »

We are. I had to take 5 months off work, so my partner had to cover all the rent and bills, and we live in London. Massive promotion doesn't equal lots of money in our industry, though. It's just a good opportunity for him.

Sorry about that comment. Tell your friends you cant go and good luck to your partner with his big opportunity.

Contribution for birthday party - OK or not?

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