The things you do when your drunk

bug · 06-05-2003 12:26PM

Jumped into a field of horses and ran around with them.

Jumped into a field with a bull/ seperate occasion in Waterford.

Stood on a bandstand in Amsterdam somewhere near the two sisters and sang me heart out, all the bouncers in the surrounding clubs/pubs came over,threw money at me and clapped, drew a crowd of about a hundred people, then proceeded to help a transvestite put his make-up on.- Got a job out of the singin bit.

Got arrested in Cologne for dancing in a fountain- a nite full of strange happenings, chatted up the police and got let go, got chased by some skins aswell.

Blitzkrieger · 07-05-2003 01:06AM

I was in Brussels once with a group of lads, and was coming back from the toilet when I saw one of our group coming out of the cupboard. I was about to go "Whayyyyeeee" (I'm very articulate after 4 pints and 8 vodka and red bulls) thinking he had been in there with a woman, when he sees me with a look of utter confusion on his face asks : "Where have you been?". Turns out he thought he was in the bathroom and had just pissed in the cupboard! :eek: I pity the poor person who had to mop the floor the next day.

Other highlights of the trip included keeping a barman occupied for the whole night between the seven of us (he was very slow), getting nervous glances from a pub full of Belgians when two lads decided to have a shouting match (I was lmao - we knew they weren't serious), and Mickey throwing up all over the Metro on the way back to the hotel. "I wasn't feeling well all day," says he, after a 14 hour drinking spree.

It's not a proper night out unless somebody gets lost. Somewhere around the 'generous' amount of alcohol mark someone is always gripped by wanderlust, and goes where they can't hear there phone, only to turn up at the hotel with a remarkable feat of direction finding several hours later.

ballooba · 07-05-2003 01:19AM

Originally posted by hells angels
This is one of those night's isnt it?? lol..;)

keep 'em coming everyone is havin a great laugh down here a the Police Station at the moment.....

Police Station?

hells angels · 07-05-2003 10:19AM

ya ok i totally ****ed up there...ya im a cop but im one of the nice one's really....so if you ever need a favour i'll see what i can do for ya's...but keep the drunkiness up it should maake for a good thread instead of all these stupid polls and all.....

nopreviousowner · 07-05-2003 10:26AM

On separate occasions I hugged a tree (I was convinced it respected me.) I kissed two of my female friends, almost walked off down a dark alley with a stranger, danced with a transvestite, had an arguement with a toilet in my friend's house, told a total stranger I had a baby when I was twelve, told some other people I was pregnant and made it look damn convincing, lost my top on a bus and I did one of my college exams so drunk I kept laughing at the pen. I also went to class drunk. But that's not much really...but when you consider before september I'd never even touched a drop.

irishgeo · 07-05-2003 10:36AM

hells angels you should be able to tell us loads of stupid drunken things you have seen in your line of work.

cournioni · 07-05-2003 11:02AM

Originally posted by hells angels
ya ok i totally ****ed up there...ya im a cop but im one of the nice one's really....so if you ever need a favour i'll see what i can do for ya's...but keep the drunkiness up it should maake for a good thread instead of all these stupid polls and all.....

:rolleyes:

hells angels · 07-05-2003 11:55AM

I could but i want to hear about these stupid things from all of you's... i hav plenty of my own to share im just waitin for the right time and on monday ishould hav some good one's cuz it's a mate of mine's b.day so it should be a good laugh.....

evilmouse · 07-05-2003 12:17PM

Ok. My bro & cousin are a lethal concoction when they're drinkin, I'm the sensible lad. they were drinkin one nite in the cousins house. Getting bored fast & running out of drink they decided to make their own entertainment. They proceeded to the farm behind the house. You know the cow feeder thing you see on farms (the round yoke where the cows stick their heads in for hay). Up onto its side they put it. Pushed it down the farm lane. Gathering speed fast, it broke the farm gate clean off, jumped the bank & straight across the main Cork-Clonakilty road.
Law weren't too impressed.:mad:

Only 2 months back the bro on a nite out in a rural Cork town (can't name cos of potential DPP case). Got plastered, left the niteclub on his own. Didn't know where he was or where he was goin. Started walkin around the town. Went into a posh estate, knocked on the first house dat took his fancy. Was it any surprise to him that the Districk Judge opened the door to him at 4 am:eek: , NAHHHH. The judge asked him "do u know who I am" to which he replied "haven't a balls notion". Judge called the cops and poor ole bro landed himself in the slammer for a few hours, trying to explain that this was his first time out in this town and that he didn't know it was the District Judges house he knocked on.

ballooba · 07-05-2003 01:24PM

Hey evilmouse,
Do you work for fonepool? If so drop me a PM I have some questions.

Back in secondary school it was tradition for the sixth years to go on the 'Senior Trip' which was basically a huge drinking binge for underagers who thought they were old enough to hold copious amounts of alcohol (they now know that they never will).

On our trip we were due to got to Carlingford Adventure Centre in Louth for a day of rock climbing, orienteering and sailing. Every single one of us was struggling under the weight of our sports bags as we boarded the coach. I had a litre of vodka and a 6 pack of Carlsberg in mine.

By the time we got to the rock climbing face the leader decided that every single one of us was either too drunk or too stoned to climb the wall and if they sent us out orienteering that they would just have to send the St Bernards out after us. This meant that we were stuck in the pub all day.

We arrived back in the school (boarding) at about 8 got our tea and I called up to my mate DMs room. Now DM hadn't been allowed go on the trip for some reason but that hadn't stopped him enjoying the day. He had got absolutely rat-arsed on his own in his room on a bottle of Vodka. He lifted up his bed and he had another five bottles of Vodka in there. Picture 10 dangerously drunk 17 year olds walking around swigging on five bottles of Vodka.

Around 11, just before lights out I fell unconcious while taking a dump. My mates having spotted the impending disaster had made me leave the doors open. They pulled up my trousers (without wiping my arse obviously) and two of them carried me down to my room and just put me in the recovery position on top of my bed.

I woke up the next morning in my boxers (had gone to bed fully clothed) and no bed clothes on my bed. I had no idea how i had done this, there was an atrocious smell of puke in the room but I had no idea where it was coming from.

To Be Continued......

Caesar_Bojangle · 07-05-2003 04:05PM

hop over a wall into some random back garden and play a game of football, doesnt last very long tbh.

hells angels · 07-05-2003 04:40PM

the best crack is nickin garden furniture and **** like that and piuttin them on top of the owners cars and roof's...IMO

therecklessone · 08-05-2003 01:30AM

I have:

Chatted up a prostitute in Limerick. I was convinced I was on a winner...would have been if I had any money:D

Told a random punter in a queue for a nightclub in Limerice that "I don't like Limerick people". He took it in the best possible spirit.

Pissed out the window of a hotel in Blarney that is right beside the local cop-shop...two nights running.

Pissed in the corner of a hotel room the night before I graduated. Couldn't understand why my t-shirt was in the corner when I woke up, and was baffled by the wet carpet when I went to retrieve it...

A mate of mine tried to climb a barbers pole on night when hammered, fell and cracked his head open. I left him out cold on the pavement so that I could dance down O'Connell Street in Limerick, which seemed like a good idea at the time.

I was also stoned one night and tried to fry some rashers using fairy liquid instead of cooking oil. Didn't turn the ring on (thankfully), and couldn't figure out why the rashers (still in fridge, in their packet) were taking so long. Gave up and went to bed.

The Reaper · 08-05-2003 09:39AM

well last saturday night me bein pissed outta my brains desided to walk out to my girlfriends at 4am and on me way out i seen a lorry so i picked up a rock and broke the lock at the back and it was full of meet! i took a thing of puddin and two massive lumps of ham worth 35euro each and took them home to eat! my father found them yesterday and boy did i get a grillin but imo it was funny really - i carried 2 heavy lumps of ham with me! i also keep dropping them and it made a real funny noise!:ninja: ill have more later since its my bday today waheyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!

cournioni · 08-05-2003 10:08AM

On our way up to Tattoo the Planet 2001 in the Point. We were very very drunk, we had been drinking since 9am that morning. Beer, vodka, whiskey, buckfast, you name it. Anyway, we were on regular piss stops on the way up. Once, in Nobber, Co. Meath. And one of the guys got out of the bus and decided that he would run after some dogs with a bottle of vodka (this is at around 2 pm), he threw the bottle and missed the dogs so thankfully he gave up and got on the bus.

Next stop, Navan the lads got out and went into one of the pubs for a piss, and to get more drink obviously. There were various items missing from the pub after our visit, lets just say that.

Then we stopped off in Dunshaughlan at around 3pm. One of the guys got off the bus, ran into the local hardware store and took a brush and then he took one of those traffic cones and put it on his head. He then crossed the street and jumped up on the back of a Quinn Cement truck, waving the brush violently at cars! While this was happening me and another guy went into one of the pubs looking for some toilet paper because one of the lads on the bus got sick all over himself. We were told to go in and get a roll of toilet paper. We were quite drunk at the time and we went in looking for a roll of toilet paper. We tried to get it out of the plastic container that it was in. We couldn't open it. There was another roll of toilet paper on the toilet itself, but it was too big. So we proceeded to smash the container only to find that the roll was just as big as the other one, we picked it up and walked out of the pub with it. Only to find to Guards outside the door, staring straight at us, we were both forced to pay £20 each or we would be brought to the station. We payed!

When we finally got to Dublin. One of the lads decided that he HAD to piss so he jumped off the bus that was moving down O'Connell St. at the time, and he pissed on the wall and ran off and caught up with the bus with two guards chasing him from the other side of the street. He got on the bus and we sped off down to the Point!

cournioni · 08-05-2003 10:38AM

Ozzfest 2002, in Punchestown Racecourse. We were up all night before the festival drinking, getting stoned and puking in one of the houses in town. Got two crates of beer just before we left and one of the lads decided to buy Choc ice's for everyone! We very much enjoyed our beer and choc ice's, and had our usual piss stopping spree's.

Again we stopped off in Nobber, Co. Meath (being the ghost town it is). One of the lads decided that while the rest were getting more drink that he would go and steal himself a push car that was out on the street. He succeeded it stealing it and then decided to play a game of chicken with a bus that was going up through the village. He lost, turned and toppled the push car and scraped his whole arm of the ground and hit a parked car with his head.

Then when we were going through Navan, we had some left over melted ice pop's and we threw them out the windows at people walking along the road, particularly at skangers. They weren't too pleased.

We then decided we would skip Dunshaughlan after what happened the year before, and proceeded to travel to Dublin. We however didn't make it that far and the bus broke down just beside the Blanchardstown shopping centre on the Dual Carrigeway. The radiator had gone on the bus!! We were going no where and were very very drunk and stoned. The lads weren't too happy and the bus driver went in search of help, two of the lads got oil and a gallon of water from a petrol station two miles down the road.

We started to get bored and the lads started climbing on top of the bus. One of them got a umbrella and started jumping off the bus with the umbrella (Mary Poppins style!). One of them took the umbrella off him and threw it into the hedge on the side of the road and another ran after it and jumped into the hedge. He then got it ran across the jual carrigeway and jumped over the mid margin head first, just missing a car on the other side, jumped back over, ran back across the road and jumped in the hedge again!

An hour had passed and we were getting restless, one of the lads got a brush and threw it across the carrigeway and it hit a car on the other side of the margin (possibly the windscreen of the car because you could hear a smash). We were nearly sure a paddy wagon would turn up and arrest the lot of us! A guy was cycling down the road on his bike just beside where the bus had broke down and a guy on our bus went after him with the umbrella, nearly hitting him. He stopped up the road and rang someone on his mobile (not sure who because the guards didn't show up).

When the two lads got back with the oil and the water for the radiator on the bus. Neither had any effect on the engine. We decided to pour some of our beer into the radiator (It still didn't work, surprise, surprise). We started soaking each other with the water and threw the oil across the road. Then we started burning a few seats on the bus, ripped one of the seats so there was nothing on it only the wood and steel on it. Ripped a few of the poles at the front of the bus out of place and one of the lads even kicked the window out of the bus onto the road.

The bus driver came back with two mini busses for us all and he was not too happy but he knew not to say anything to us because of the state we were in at the time.

The whole incident was mentioned by someone complaining about it on the Gerry Ryan show the next morning. But no one got in any trouble over it!!

hells angels · 08-05-2003 11:18AM

I was just wondering should we have a winning drunk story when every one is finished postin,or when it slows down at least. there's no prise's just the sadicfaction of everyone knowing that your a complete and utter alcoholic..(and of course the respect of the rest of the board...for the day anyway)

What you all think?????

cournioni · 08-05-2003 11:23AM

Hell yeah!

Wook · 08-05-2003 11:29AM

damn your a bunch of pesky drunks, annoying people, almost hitting them, pissing allover the place, puking, shouting and just being an arse ...

a couple of funny stories though.

hells angels · 08-05-2003 12:13PM

what are you talkin about are you a god damn muppet or something unless you hav a funny story to tell dont bother wastin our time with your pointless remarks!!!!!

Wook · 08-05-2003 12:18PM

Originally posted by hells angels
what are you talkin about are you a god damn muppet or something unless you hav a funny story to tell dont bother wastin our time with your pointless remarks!!!!!

ooooh i am so itimidated now !!

Chucky · 08-05-2003 01:01PM

Hey I just noticed this thread

When im drunk I end up talking to anyone I see on the street. Ive come close to getting the crap beaten out of me sometimes.

I start dancing around, jumping on shop windowsills.

Thats all in the city! If i get drunk back home in Naas I start breaking trees with mates or jumping into 'bouncy' bushes. (They exist!)

kirn · 08-05-2003 01:04PM

sadly, my drinking is in five stages:

mildly drunk: happy
sorta drunk: chatty
drunk: slurry, horny
very drunk: shouty,
scribbled: pukey

been single too long.... :rolleyes:

PacO · 08-05-2003 01:41PM

Pissed up on JD and coke.

staying in relations house.

Aunty wakes up with me Naked at the end on her bed taking a slash on her duvet.

Couldn't understand why everyone was giving me the cold shoulder the following morning.

Haven't been invited around since.

My mate has the best one ever. He came back to a mates flat to crash, both pissed. His mate hits the sack.

5 mins later my mate spy's a porno mag under a cushion, decided to beat one off.

However, falls asleep half way through. wakes up to the sound of people falling around the place laughing, there he is with his pants around his ankles a porno mag on the couch beside him and his Mickey in his hand.:rolleyes:

hells angels · 08-05-2003 06:02PM

Originally posted by PacO
Pissed up on JD and coke.

staying in relations house.

Aunty wakes up with me Naked at the end on her bed taking a slash on her duvet.

Couldn't understand why everyone was giving me the cold shoulder the following morning.

Haven't been invited around since.

My mate has the best one ever. He came back to a mates flat to crash, both pissed. His mate hits the sack.

5 mins later my mate spy's a porno mag under a cushion, decided to beat one off.

However, falls asleep half way through. wakes up to the sound of people falling around the place laughing, there he is with his pants around his ankles a porno mag on the couch beside him and his Mickey in his hand.:rolleyes:

Now thats what i call a bitch....lol

ThrAx · 09-05-2003 12:30AM

I once puked on the ceiling upstairs in Charlie P's and left a stain thats still there today. Then another time I went out to Charlie P's I tried to climb into the liffey to go for a pee, realising that that was a bad idea i decided to pee in a phone box at O'Connell bridge. Apparently I was shouting "Woohoo!" and "Yeehaaw" and stuff while I peed, and afterwards I boasted about how my pee made the windows steam up and how it spread out on to the road.

My god was I pissed. But I'm proud

ballooba · 09-05-2003 12:44AM

To finish the story I started on the last page of this thread....

I got dressed and went for a shower. I met my mate over there and he looked a bit worse for wear. He filled me in on the nights events. I started puking violently about an hour after I went to bed. He had tried to get me to go to the jacks and I took a swing at him, and connected. Him and another mate dragged me down to the jacks where I emptied my stomach into a sink and then proceeded to fall face first into it. When I was finished puking they brought me out of the wash room and threw me down the stairs (this was for punching him). They then quietly placed me back in my bed. I had basically painted my room yellow and green (good meath colours) and my clothes and the bed clothes had to be removed. I found these in my wardrobe hard from the puke.

Two hours later I graduated, the man who gave me my scroll, the rector was a guy who 7 hours previously I had taken a drunken swing at (but not connected) and had told in no unceretain terms that he was a wanker and to f*ck off.

I can never go back.

therecklessone · 09-05-2003 01:23AM

Just remembered...

One night, having a few beers with a new aquaitance(sp?) of mine, talking about drunken escapades. He told me about a football team trip he went on to Donegal...boys on the piss all day, going from pub to pub, as you do. On of the less savoury members of the team spies a cat across the street, throws a beer glass across at it and hits it bang on. Cat lost one of its nine lives.

Some hous later, and boys are passing a field full of cows for some reason. Another team-mate enters field and punches a cow in the head. I kid you not.

hells angels · 12-05-2003 10:47AM

Hello its MONDAY people has no-one got any confessions to make???

saturday night i was out celabrating my mate's 18th and we got slightly intoxicated and decided to start a fight with some fella who kept tryin it on with my mate's little sister...So himself and meself went over to this lad and tried to start on him but it turned out he was a we bit drunker then us and went to walk away(and down a few stairs) and went in a heap on the floor before gettin carried outside by the barmen all us two could do was stand and piss ourselfs laughing....more of the same and worse to come on the 24th Woohoo...

endanagle · 12-05-2003 09:29PM

ok then... started off drinking new years eve 1998 about 7pm... was absolutely plastered of course by midnight.... we all got up shouted, roared, made complete arses of ourselves. i congratulated everyone on making it for the new year, hugged a mate, hugged another, and another - then puked up all over him... we fought... so i decided that i'd better high tail it out of there. i was staying in another mate's house so said **** it i'll walk back to limerick (i was in tralee)... so, i stopped for a kebab, some money at the drinklink and then set off on my merry way...

i had walked a fair bit out and kept politely giving the fingers to all the cars that beeped at me... was almost at the fork ing the road outside tralee where you go either cork or limk and this car pulls up with three guys in it asking if i'm alright and where i'm off to...

i told them and they laughed.. b**tards... then i asked where they were going... cork... ok then fair enough... i'll go to cork! (couldn't think of a single reason why not to)

in i jumped with these 3 guys and one of them handed me a can out of a slab of beer... heineken... damn, these guys were good! so out came the joints then which i declined and off we went... outside killarney they stopped and got a flashing blue light out of the boot and stuck it into the cig lighter and off we went haring it down to cork!

anyways arrived in cork a few hours later, and they dropped me at wilton. i had a sister who was staying there at the time and i went off to her apartment at 6am or so.... she wasn't in... so i walked into the western road to the back of ucc to see if any of the lads were at home... the same guys i had left in tralee that night... funnily enough they werent home...

so off out to wilton again - just in case my sister was there... nope..

sat in a bus shelter on the western road for an hour or so and then stumbled into a b&b then at 9.30am... i can still picture the look the landlady gave me - priceless! so she sat me down in a sitting room for an hour or so and said to me that she would have a room soon for me.... eventually i got one....
went up, crashed and burned, and woke up that night about 10pm...
next morning then got up and went for breakfast... she said 'how is sir feeling this morning?', her staff were laughing so much i'm pretty sure they probably pi**ed themselves....

it happens that i was working in cork the that morning (2nd) so off i went into work... and had quite a story to tell then when asked 'how did new year's go?'....

best part is... i submitted the bill for the b&b to my boss as expenses and he paid it!

The things you do when your drunk

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