Inappropriate thoughts at funerals

TheDriver · 13-02-2014 01:14AM #1

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

MadsL · 13-02-2014 01:16AM

TheDriver wrote: »

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

Just you OP. Have you no respect.

kneemos · 13-02-2014 01:16AM

Black is sexy.Hard to avoid it.

MadsL · 13-02-2014 01:16AM

kneemos wrote: »

Black is sexy.Hard to avoid it.

Racist post reported.

TheDriver · 13-02-2014 01:18AM

sometimes the queue and the waiting around for the removal is a great time to get chatting to people. Managed to get a few dates in the past by the general meet up outside a funeral, people seem to be always up for a chat......

Nowadays I suss out funerals to see if the deceased lived in a nice area in the hope the house will be up for sale soon after....

Sauve · 13-02-2014 01:19AM

I PISS myself laughing at funerals. It's absolutely disgraceful, but all it takes is one sideways glance from a cousin, or a sly dig in the ribs from my brother and I fold into a full-on meltdown.

I'll usually crack a hugely inappropriate joke too, just to make it even worse. :rolleyes:

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 13-02-2014 01:20AM

I was behind this queue of slow moving traffic one time. Thought there was a tractor or something holding us up. Long straight road, no oncoming.

Moved out, overtook. Of course, they were following a hearse. Felt like a dick for the whole day.

john the one · 13-02-2014 01:21AM

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

kneemos · 13-02-2014 01:21AM

TheDriver wrote: »

sometimes the queue and the waiting around for the removal is a great time to get chatting to people. Managed to get a few dates in the past by the general meet up outside a funeral, people seem to be always up for a chat......

Nowadays I suss out funerals to see if the deceased lived in a nice area in the hope the house will be up for sale soon after....

Do you go to cancer support meetings?

ColeTrain · 13-02-2014 01:22AM

TheDriver wrote: »

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

There was some **** at my grandmothers funeral mass, he was about five seconds out with his responses and had this high pitched voice. Had to laugh but did my best to disguise it, sometimes we can't block out whats funny even if laughter is inappropriate.

Vito Corleone · 13-02-2014 01:22AM

You're only human OP, if I see an attractive lady my mind is more than likely going to wander no matter where I am. A lot of priests are kinda funny as well.

TheDriver · 13-02-2014 01:23AM

kneemos wrote: »

Do you go to cancer support meetings?

Holy cow batman....... now that's a whole new low.......

Ruu · 13-02-2014 01:23AM

FAAAAAATTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEERRRR! *clenches fist* unhand me priest!

ambasite · 13-02-2014 01:27AM

i keep waiting for Ricky Schroder to appear - "Champ!!!"

St. Leibowitz · 13-02-2014 01:31AM

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

I was behind this queue of slow moving traffic one time. Thought there was a tractor or something holding us up. Long straight road, no oncoming.

Moved out, overtook. Of course, they were following a hearse. Felt like a dick for the whole day.

Did you get one ??

holystungun9 · 13-02-2014 01:36AM

john the one wrote: »

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

Mmmm, corp....I mean, knnniiickkkerss.

orangesoda · 13-02-2014 01:36AM

No usually at a normal mass service, attractive women and their backsides should be banned from mass, some of us are trying to cleanse our souls

shopaholic01 · 13-02-2014 01:38AM

john the one wrote: »

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

What are you planning? :eek:

Jamie2k9 · 13-02-2014 01:41AM

When can I use my i phone
What food/drink will be free at the pub after
When will it be over
Why is everybody so quiet when the minute its over you won't give the person a seconds thought (I know its bad but its true for most people)

john the one · 13-02-2014 01:41AM

shopaholic01 wrote: »

What are you planning? :eek:

Necrophilia aint my bag baby

itac · 13-02-2014 01:43AM

I was devastated when my Gran died, as she was basically a second Mum to me.
But at her funeral, there was (iirc!) 14 priests, a bishop & 2 ex bishops on the altar con-celebrating the mass (she was very involved in the parish & very well known in Sligo town, so it was a large funeral in the Cathedral there.)

At the point where the priest blesses the bread, the rest behind him did so too....but they were all stood in a semi-circular line around the back of the altar, and the almost synchronised motions they made to bless the bread made it look like they were about to burst into a dance routine across the back of the altar. I suddenly had these mad visions of them being a part of Fr. Ted's Golden Cleric stage show!

It's mad how you can make a snigger can sound like a cough sometimes...:o

Grayditch · 13-02-2014 01:44AM

Ah that must be his sister. Jaysus, she's had to come back from Australia.

Some tan you get over there.

Wasn't planning on going to the afters.

Might head to the afters.

Thoie · 13-02-2014 01:50AM

A very distant, elderly relative turned up to a funeral a number of years back, wearing the most awful and obvious toupé. The bloody thing looked like an orange cat tied to his head. It in no way matched his original/natural colouring.

Myself and my cousins had all spotted it, and had all caught each other's eye, but were valiantly not looking or saying anything. We were managing very well until another elderly relative turned to us and said "oh there's your man, always thought he was a bit soft, but doesn't he have a grand head of hair still". That was it, we were all done for.

Davarus Walrus · 13-02-2014 01:52AM

I love the way The Wake has come back into fashion following a death. My Granny died a few years ago. An epic night talking, drinking and eating huge pyramids of sandwiches. It was a lovely and respectful way to send off a wonderful lady.

The Irish deal with death well.

TheDriver · 13-02-2014 11:37AM

Its when you notice the same people from the town at every afters of a funeral, they probably don't have a clue who has died....

The Backwards Man · 13-02-2014 11:43AM

If I wasn't going to a funeral to pay my respects I'd stay in the house and read a jokebook or something.

OS119 · 13-02-2014 11:49AM

working out which of the women is wearing hold-up stockings.

you are, after all, going to see more women wearing black stockings and impossibly high heels at a funeral than at any other event - possibly excluding the filming of a porn movie..

MooShop · 13-02-2014 11:56AM

Ruubot2 wrote: »

FAAAAAATTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEERRRR! *clenches fist* unhand me priest!

Love that show!

Tazio · 13-02-2014 12:02PM

At a close family funeral over 10 years ago my wife, brother and cousins were sitting on a seat two rows from front all very solemn etc.

This old man sat behind us and had a wheezing breathing problem... the church was dead quiet and you could really hear the hissing from yer man.

My brother whispered to us "I think he's leaking'......

Eight of us in a row were in convulsions.... two rows from the front!!!!

We all had to bend forward and stick our heads in hands... the seat was shaking while we tried not to breath nor laugh. It was terrible.

People outside the church after said we looked like we were very upset.. so sad to see.... I swear we just about got away with it... I felt so guilty.

Noxin · 13-02-2014 12:28PM

Spot sexy chick all in black in the isle across from you.
Brain goes into overdrive thinking those thoughts that you really shouldn't at the current time.
Entire church stands for various prayers.
Aww sheeeeeiit!!!

Penn · 13-02-2014 01:03PM

Once at a friend's grandfather's funeral, everyone was walking up to the grave. Another friend asked if I could see our friend, I said "There he is, dead ahead" while pointing towards the coffin (which he was on the other side of). Have never used the phrase "Dead ahead" before, or since. The one time I use it is at a funeral and pointing towards the coffin.

And twice last year I was driving past a church when I noticed there was a funeral. Once my radio was playing "For whom the bell tolls" by Metallica, and the other time it was "Get Better" by Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip

Inappropriate thoughts at funerals

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