nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Inappropriate thoughts at funerals

TheDriver

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

MadsL

TheDriver wrote: »

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

Just you OP. Have you no respect.

kneemos

Black is sexy.Hard to avoid it.

MadsL

kneemos wrote: »

Black is sexy.Hard to avoid it.

Racist post reported.

TheDriver

sometimes the queue and the waiting around for the removal is a great time to get chatting to people. Managed to get a few dates in the past by the general meet up outside a funeral, people seem to be always up for a chat......

Nowadays I suss out funerals to see if the deceased lived in a nice area in the hope the house will be up for sale soon after....

Sauve

I PISS myself laughing at funerals. It's absolutely disgraceful, but all it takes is one sideways glance from a cousin, or a sly dig in the ribs from my brother and I fold into a full-on meltdown.

I'll usually crack a hugely inappropriate joke too, just to make it even worse. :rolleyes:

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

I was behind this queue of slow moving traffic one time. Thought there was a tractor or something holding us up. Long straight road, no oncoming.

Moved out, overtook. Of course, they were following a hearse. Felt like a dick for the whole day.

john the one

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

kneemos

TheDriver wrote: »

sometimes the queue and the waiting around for the removal is a great time to get chatting to people. Managed to get a few dates in the past by the general meet up outside a funeral, people seem to be always up for a chat......

Nowadays I suss out funerals to see if the deceased lived in a nice area in the hope the house will be up for sale soon after....

Do you go to cancer support meetings?

ColeTrain

TheDriver wrote: »

Wondering do people feel all morbid at funerals or does your mind wander? Sometimes its hard to miss the fact that mourners could be fit or something in the funeral home is a bit Fr. Ted like and the mind gets a bit giggly.....or is it just me?

There was some **** at my grandmothers funeral mass, he was about five seconds out with his responses and had this high pitched voice. Had to laugh but did my best to disguise it, sometimes we can't block out whats funny even if laughter is inappropriate.

Vito Corleone

You're only human OP, if I see an attractive lady my mind is more than likely going to wander no matter where I am. A lot of priests are kinda funny as well.

TheDriver

kneemos wrote: »

Do you go to cancer support meetings?

Holy cow batman....... now that's a whole new low.......

Ruu

FAAAAAATTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEERRRR! *clenches fist* unhand me priest!

ambasite

i keep waiting for Ricky Schroder to appear - "Champ!!!"

St. Leibowitz

Duracell Bunny wrote: »

I was behind this queue of slow moving traffic one time. Thought there was a tractor or something holding us up. Long straight road, no oncoming.

Moved out, overtook. Of course, they were following a hearse. Felt like a dick for the whole day.

Did you get one ??

holystungun9

john the one wrote: »

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

Mmmm, corp....I mean, knnniiickkkerss.

orangesoda

No usually at a normal mass service, attractive women and their backsides should be banned from mass, some of us are trying to cleanse our souls

shopaholic01

john the one wrote: »

Do they put knickers on the corpses?

What are you planning? :eek:

Jamie2k9

When can I use my i phone
What food/drink will be free at the pub after
When will it be over
Why is everybody so quiet when the minute its over you won't give the person a seconds thought (I know its bad but its true for most people)

john the one

shopaholic01 wrote: »

What are you planning? :eek:

Necrophilia aint my bag baby

itac

I was devastated when my Gran died, as she was basically a second Mum to me.
But at her funeral, there was (iirc!) 14 priests, a bishop & 2 ex bishops on the altar con-celebrating the mass (she was very involved in the parish & very well known in Sligo town, so it was a large funeral in the Cathedral there.)

At the point where the priest blesses the bread, the rest behind him did so too....but they were all stood in a semi-circular line around the back of the altar, and the almost synchronised motions they made to bless the bread made it look like they were about to burst into a dance routine across the back of the altar. I suddenly had these mad visions of them being a part of Fr. Ted's Golden Cleric stage show!

It's mad how you can make a snigger can sound like a cough sometimes...:o

Grayditch

Ah that must be his sister. Jaysus, she's had to come back from Australia.

Some tan you get over there.

Wasn't planning on going to the afters.

Might head to the afters.

Thoie

A very distant, elderly relative turned up to a funeral a number of years back, wearing the most awful and obvious toupé. The bloody thing looked like an orange cat tied to his head. It in no way matched his original/natural colouring.

Myself and my cousins had all spotted it, and had all caught each other's eye, but were valiantly not looking or saying anything. We were managing very well until another elderly relative turned to us and said "oh there's your man, always thought he was a bit soft, but doesn't he have a grand head of hair still". That was it, we were all done for.

Davarus Walrus

I love the way The Wake has come back into fashion following a death. My Granny died a few years ago. An epic night talking, drinking and eating huge pyramids of sandwiches. It was a lovely and respectful way to send off a wonderful lady.

The Irish deal with death well.

TheDriver

Its when you notice the same people from the town at every afters of a funeral, they probably don't have a clue who has died....

The Backwards Man

If I wasn't going to a funeral to pay my respects I'd stay in the house and read a jokebook or something.

OS119

working out which of the women is wearing hold-up stockings.

you are, after all, going to see more women wearing black stockings and impossibly high heels at a funeral than at any other event - possibly excluding the filming of a porn movie..

MooShop

Ruubot2 wrote: »

FAAAAAATTTTTTTTHHHHHHHEEEEERRRR! *clenches fist* unhand me priest!

Love that show!

Tazio

At a close family funeral over 10 years ago my wife, brother and cousins were sitting on a seat two rows from front all very solemn etc.

This old man sat behind us and had a wheezing breathing problem... the church was dead quiet and you could really hear the hissing from yer man.

My brother whispered to us "I think he's leaking'......

Eight of us in a row were in convulsions.... two rows from the front!!!!

We all had to bend forward and stick our heads in hands... the seat was shaking while we tried not to breath nor laugh. It was terrible.

People outside the church after said we looked like we were very upset.. so sad to see.... I swear we just about got away with it... I felt so guilty.

Noxin

Spot sexy chick all in black in the isle across from you.
Brain goes into overdrive thinking those thoughts that you really shouldn't at the current time.
Entire church stands for various prayers.
Aww sheeeeeiit!!!

Penn

Once at a friend's grandfather's funeral, everyone was walking up to the grave. Another friend asked if I could see our friend, I said "There he is, dead ahead" while pointing towards the coffin (which he was on the other side of). Have never used the phrase "Dead ahead" before, or since. The one time I use it is at a funeral and pointing towards the coffin.

And twice last year I was driving past a church when I noticed there was a funeral. Once my radio was playing "For whom the bell tolls" by Metallica, and the other time it was "Get Better" by Dan le Sac Vs Scroobius Pip