The Hazards of Belief

Brian Shanahan · 26-01-2014 05:54PM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya, the remains of the Ark are to be seen on top of mount Ararat.

A natural rock formation in Turkey is about as much evidence of a boat built by a ossified* man which could carry a pair of every species in existence, despite him not having the technology to work the materials nor the materials^ neccessary to build such a boat, as my existence is evidence for a race of spacefaring unicorns composed solely of Belgian chocolate with Chimay Cinq-Cents for blood.

You fail basic logic, eman, you fail it hard. No Grade.

*Well what else do you call a man who supposedly lived 900 years (apart from the obvious and true imaginary)

^We've only recently found out about carbon nano-tubes, and given the kind of conditions supposedly prevalent at the time of the alledged flood (it was probably a light shower, given how the ancient Jews exaggerated everything that wasn't an outright lie) I don't even know if such materials would be strong enoug.

recedite · 26-01-2014 06:49PM

robindch wrote: »

A 65-year old UK citizen with a history of mental illness has been condemned to death in Pakistan for the crime of claiming he's a prophet:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25874580

Why this is blasphemy? He's not claiming to be Jesus or Mo after all, and Islam accepts the idea of prophets. Presumably its because Mo is supposed to be "the last prophet". But then, surely Jesus was also held to be the last prophet, up until until Mo appeared?

Bannasidhe · 26-01-2014 08:55PM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya, the remains of the Ark are to be seen on top of mount Ararat. And it will happen again, not by flood this time but by fire from above. Most likely nuclear but potentially comet, asteroid or Sun related. Unfortunately there will be some innocents caught up in it. I'm sure God will see them as Martyrs.

So you still have time to repent and seek the Lord. You will see more and more signs over the next few years so be prepared to humble yourself and repent.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...

Oh wait...are you seriously being serious? :eek:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

FouxDaFaFa · 26-01-2014 09:51PM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya, the remains of the Ark are to be seen on top of mount Ararat. And it will happen again, not by flood this time but by fire from above. Most likely nuclear but potentially comet, asteroid or Sun related. Unfortunately there will be some innocents caught up in it. I'm sure God will see them as Martyrs.

So you still have time to repent and seek the Lord. You will see more and more signs over the next few years so be prepared to humble yourself and repent.

Repent for what? Being created by an asshole God who's going to drop a nuclear bomb on me?

I'm grand, thanks. He can repent.

Canis Lupus · 27-01-2014 06:49AM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya, the remains of the Ark are to be seen on top of mount Ararat. And it will happen again, not by flood this time but by fire from above. Most likely nuclear but potentially comet, asteroid or Sun related. Unfortunately there will be some innocents caught up in it. I'm sure God will see them as Martyrs.

So you still have time to repent and seek the Lord. You will see more and more signs over the next few years so be prepared to humble yourself and repent.

You can't be a martyr if your god kills you. You can only be a victim.

kylith · 27-01-2014 02:21PM

Brian Shanahan wrote: »

A natural rock formation in Turkey is about as much evidence of a boat built by a ossified* man which could carry a pair of every species in existence, despite him not having the technology to work the materials nor the materials^ neccessary to build such a boat, as my existence is evidence for a race of spacefaring unicorns composed solely of Belgian chocolate with Chimay Cinq-Cents for blood.

You fail basic logic, eman, you fail it hard. No Grade.

*Well what else do you call a man who supposedly lived 900 years (apart from the obvious and true imaginary)

^We've only recently found out about carbon nano-tubes, and given the kind of conditions supposedly prevalent at the time of the alledged flood (it was probably a light shower, given how the ancient Jews exaggerated everything that wasn't an outright lie) I don't even know if such materials would be strong enoug.

The alleged ark was over 500ft long, 5 times the length of Columbus' ships and about 2/3 the length of the Titanic. IIRC it is completely impossible to build a seaworthy wooden craft of that size. Noah would have found his boat breaking apart in short order.

robindch · 27-01-2014 02:29PM

kylith wrote: »

[...] it is completely impossible to build a seaworthy wooden craft of that size [...]

There's a good reason why boats remained quite small until steel was invented.

Sarky · 27-01-2014 02:35PM

It says somewhere in Leviticus that wooden ships above a certain size are an abomination?

Cabaal · 27-01-2014 04:06PM

the_eman wrote: »

So you still have time to repent and seek the Lord. You will see more and more signs over the next few years so be prepared to humble yourself and repent.

If a meteorite takes us out in the morning it also wipes out all gods
No humans exist anymore = no gods exist anymore

So we've nothing to worry about

Brian Shanahan · 27-01-2014 04:57PM

kylith wrote: »

The alleged ark was over 500ft long, 5 times the length of Columbus' ships and about 2/3 the length of the Titanic. IIRC it is completely impossible to build a seaworthy wooden craft of that size. Noah would have found his boat breaking apart in short order.

Well I was thinking more along the lines of materials good enough to build a boat big enough to carry millions of species (and their requirements), light enough to float, and strong enough to withstand a very rough sea.

But yeah, you're also right about the dimensions (way too small for the job) actually specified being beyond the technology available.

Hotblack Desiato · 27-01-2014 05:58PM

Cabaal wrote: »

If a meteorite takes us out in the morning it also wipes out all gods
No humans exist anymore = no gods exist anymore

So we've nothing to worry about

Apart from us being wiped out

Cabaal · 27-01-2014 06:51PM

ninja900 wrote: »

Apart from us being wiped out

Given it would be likely next to impossible to stop a ELE type meteor, I don't even think that's worth worrying about.

Turtwig · 27-01-2014 07:45PM

Cabaal wrote: »

Given it would be likely next to impossible to stop a ELE type meteor, I don't even think that's worth worrying about.

Why would it be impossible? We only need to slightly perturb it's orbit before it gets too close to Earth. Certainly wouldn't need any of that drilling and planting nukes bullsh!t.

Nodin · 27-01-2014 08:29PM

Sisters of Nazareth nuns have given their evidence to Northern Ireland's Historical Abuse Inquiry in a "haphazard and piecemeal fashion", the inquiry has been told.

The inquiry is investigating abuse claims against children's residential institutions from 1922 to 1995.

"Nazareth House Children's Home and St Joseph's Home, Termonbacca, were both run by the Sisters of Nazareth.

The inquiry has received statements from 49 ex-residents of the two homes.

Sexual and physical abuse was outlined during Monday's hearing, including children being made to eat their own vomit, being beaten for bed-wetting and being bathed in Jeyes' Fluid.

The inquiry was told that some statements from the nuns came as late as last Friday.

This was despite the initial request for documents being made in November 2012. "
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-25903194

Another shower of charmers.....

Sulla Felix · 27-01-2014 09:13PM

Jernal wrote: »

Why would it be impossible? We only need to slightly perturb it's orbit before it gets too close to Earth. Certainly wouldn't need any of that drilling and planting nukes bullsh!t.

Well, 1km3 is usually the stated threshold for an ELE object and the average speed is about 20km/sec it's a fairly tricky target to perturb.

That's if we even see it coming. 2012LZ1 was only detected a month and a half before it bypassed us and we only realized it was at the ELE threshold after it was passed when Arecibo got a look at its backside.

Odds are if there's one on a trajectory with us right now, we just won't know in time to do anything meaningful.

PopePalpatine · 27-01-2014 09:28PM

That's OK, I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight.

the_eman · 27-01-2014 10:06PM

robindch wrote: »

There's a good reason why boats remained quite small until steel was invented.

I suppose you also don't believe St Brendan sailed to America in a leather boat?

Come on, give timber and God some credit.

http://worldwideflood.org/ark/compare_ships/compare_ships.htm

http://worldwideflood.org/ark/safety_aig/safety_aig.htm

http://www.arkdiscovery.com/noah%27s_ark.htm

http://www.purifiedbyfaith.com/CreationEvolution/Genesis6thru9/images/Ark18Wheeler.jpg

Nodin · 27-01-2014 10:23PM

the_eman wrote: »

I suppose you also don't believe St Brendan sailed to America in a leather boat?

The problems of size and top load bearing weights of the materials don't occur with that, so its rather irrelevant.

the_eman wrote: »

Come on, give timber and God some credit.

http://worldwideflood.org/ark/compare_ships/compare_ships.htm

http://worldwideflood.org/ark/safety_aig/safety_aig.htm

http://www.arkdiscovery.com/noah%27s_ark.htm

So you're importing the supernatural to overcome the physical limits? Quelle surprise.

Canis Lupus · 27-01-2014 10:35PM

Jernal wrote: »

Why would it be impossible? We only need to slightly perturb it's orbit before it gets too close to Earth. Certainly wouldn't need any of that drilling and planting nukes bullsh!t.

You take that back! Bruce saved us all.

Quatermain · 27-01-2014 11:36PM

Yeah...there was a Dutch fellow lately who made his own ark. It was hailed and lauded as "proof" that it could exist. When asked how he built it, he responded by saying that he had begun by welding several small boats together to form the base. Several boats. Of steel. Welded. Apparently an acetylene torch is more powerful than the gods.

the_eman · 27-01-2014 11:39PM

Quatermain wrote: »

Yeah...there was a Dutch fellow lately who made his own ark. It was hailed and lauded as "proof" that it could exist. When asked how he built it, he responded by saying that he had begun by welding several small boats together to form the base. Several boats. Of steel. Welded. Apparently an acetylene torch is more powerful than the gods.

Ya and some Chinese dude built one last year thinking the end of Mayan calendar was the next flood, this does not mean Noah didn't exist.

Quatermain · 27-01-2014 11:45PM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya and some Chinese dude built one last year thinking the end of Mayan calendar was the next flood, this does not mean Noah didn't exist.

I mean that he built it as a replica of the "actual" ark, by the by. It's actually impossible to have built a boat that size out of nothing but wood and not have it snap in half under its own weight. The weight distribution and keel depth would have been damn near impossible to manage without modern materials. I did spend quite some time dissecting this from both a historical and archaeological point of view.

But oh, wait. You have "god". The ultimate trump card.

Brian Shanahan · 28-01-2014 12:24AM

the_eman wrote: »

Ya and some Chinese dude built one last year thinking the end of Mayan calendar was the next flood, this does not mean Noah didn't exist.

No but the Babylonian tablets which tell the original myth (nothing to do with the bible) do disprove his existence.

kylith · 28-01-2014 02:33AM

If Noah did exist he was just some guy who saved some of his livestock in a small boat from a local flood, then exaggerated wildly when he'd had a few too many beers down the pub later.

the_eman · 28-01-2014 08:04AM

kylith wrote: »

If Noah did exist he was just some guy who saved some of his livestock in a small boat from a local flood, then exaggerated wildly when he'd had a few too many beers down the pub later.

Ahh that must be it.

pauldla · 28-01-2014 09:13AM

the_eman wrote: »

Ahh that must be it.

You prefer the 'impossibly old man builds impossibly large ship to save an impossibly large number of animals from an impossibly big flood sent by a disturbingly capricious and punitive deity' theory, I take it?

the_monkey · 28-01-2014 12:56PM

Sure God just sized down the animals for Noah , they all fit in a matchbox ...

if God can do anything, surely he could do that ?

It would be an easier explanation of trying to rationalize a boat that contained 2 of EVERY SPECIES !!!

norrie rugger · 28-01-2014 01:07PM

the_monkey wrote: »

Sure God just sized down the animals for Noah , they all fit in a matchbox ...

if God can do anything, surely he could do that ?

It would be an easier explanation of trying to rationalize a boat that contained 2 of EVERY SPECIES !!!

Book: What are we up to, sweetheart?
River Tam: Fixing your Bible.
Book: I, um...
[alarmed]
Book: What?
River Tam: Bible's broken. Contradictions, false logistics - doesn't make sense.
[she's marked up the bible, crossed out passages and torn out pages]
Book: No, no. You-you-you can't...
River Tam: So we'll integrate non-progressional evolution theory with God's creation of Eden. Eleven inherent metaphoric parallels already there. Eleven. Important number. Prime number. One goes into the house of eleven eleven times, but always comes out one. Noah's ark is a problem.
Book: Really?
River Tam: We'll have to call it early quantum state phenomenon. Only way to fit 5000 species of mammal on the same boat.
[rips out page]

kylith · 28-01-2014 01:54PM

the_monkey wrote: »

Sure God just sized down the animals for Noah , they all fit in a matchbox ...

if God can do anything, surely he could do that ?

It would be an easier explanation of trying to rationalize a boat that contained 2 of EVERY SPECIES !!!

Not 2 of every species. It was 2 of the 'unclean' animals and 7 of the 'clean' ones, so it might take a few matchboxes.

Brian Shanahan · 28-01-2014 03:50PM

pauldla wrote: »

You prefer the 'impossibly old man builds impossibly large ship to save an impossibly large number of animals from an impossibly big flood sent by a disturbingly capricious and punitive deity' theory, I take it?

Nah he prefers the "we stole our mythology from the Babylonians because we were too dull to think up of our own" line.

The Hazards of Belief

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