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What's your best taxi driver stories?

135

Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,687 ✭✭✭Karl Stein


    voz es wrote: »
    This one time I got a taxi and I felt it was value for money....

    :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,179 ✭✭✭✭fr336


    First and last time I got into a cab in Dublin city was with this maniac who speeded through everywhere, narrowly avoiding several crashes, and cut through a few no go roads too!

    Wasn't even Irish.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,090 ✭✭✭jill_valentine


    Sparked by the story on the radio at the time, I had a grand aul rant in a taxi about crime and how easy big gangsters manipulate the legal system. Only copped as I was getting out that my driver was a Mr. Hutch.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101


    A few years back got a taxi of a sunday morning as we were driving along
    I noticed that the driver was a neighbour of ours the TV repair man.

    He was telling us how the tv repair business was changing "all these
    new flat screen tv's" ect, ect. We were stopped for a good five minutes
    behind a car.. Traffic is very heavy this time of morning he said..
    Looking out his window's he said it... Only then realising he was stoped
    behind a row of Parked car's.

    What relevance has this story got to do with the fact that he was a TV repair man - etc. Are you suggesting that someone can't have two jobs? Maybe some people don't have a college education and may not have a master of English language - or privileged upbringing and may have to take on two jobs.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 355 ✭✭MissD93


    one night i left the night club after having a fight with the boyfriend, i was locked and proceeded to break into fit of tears when he asked me where i was going, he listened to my story gave me a good ol' pep talk, then went over to the the centra bought me a galaxy bar and dropped me home:P:D:P:D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101


    There is of course the classic story of the guys who took a taxi home with The Monk and decided to do a runner. The next day it all came to a head when a bulldozer started bulldozing through the walls of their "estate". The village elder stormed out and the situation was explained to him. I am reliably informed that the concluding sentence was, "I'm very sorry sir. How much do we owe you?"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,179 ✭✭✭✭fr336


    bajer101 wrote: »
    There is of course the classic story of the guys who took a taxi home with The Monk and decided to do a runner. The next day it all came to a head when a bulldozer started bulldozing through the walls of their "estate". The village elder stormed out and the situation was explained to him. I am reliably informed that the concluding sentence was, "I'm very sorry sir. How much do we owe you?"

    Who is The Monk?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,641 ✭✭✭GarIT


    I'll give you another one, since you think the sun,moon and stars shine out of taxi driver's arses (mind yer eyes, lads)

    Has anyone said that? No matter what you think of someone or their profession you don't steal from them. Your attempt at defending yourself is only making yourself look worse, there are bad taxi drivers doesn't mean you can steal from any of them. You do the crime you deserve the time. Your attitude is worse than any taxi driver IMO.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,282 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    fr336 wrote: »
    Who is The Monk?

    Larry Hutch.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101




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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    GarIT wrote: »
    Has anyone said that? No matter what you think of someone or their profession you don't steal from them. Your attempt at defending yourself is only making yourself look worse, there are bad taxi drivers doesn't mean you can steal from any of them. You do the crime you deserve the time. Your attitude is worse than any taxi driver IMO.

    I'm playing a tiny violin, right now just for you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30 fusion19


    if you want to get a taxi driver going on a rant just mention the black c*#ts who are taking all their business


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101


    I'm playing a tiny violin, right now just for you.

    You're posts have indicated that you are a thief. The only tiny violins that are playing are the ones that the people with morals are playing as they look down on you.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    bajer101 wrote: »
    You're posts have indicated that you are a thief. The only tiny violins that are playing are the ones that the people with morals are playing as they look down on you.

    I don't care :D I was young, I got caught out, I paid the bill, nobody died. Life's too short for regrets buddy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,282 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    GarIT wrote: »
    Has anyone said that? No matter what you think of someone or their profession you don't steal from them. Your attempt at defending yourself is only making yourself look worse, there are bad taxi drivers doesn't mean you can steal from any of them. You do the crime you deserve the time. Your attitude is worse than any taxi driver IMO.

    So, would you steal a hitmans gun if he was paid to shot you or your family or would allow him to shot?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 77 ✭✭Pogmothone


    I got into a taxi once and the driver was harping on about the perks of the job. "Yeah", he goes, "the best part of the job is that I'm my own boss and no-one tells me what to do".

    I go: "Left here like a good man"
    Hahahaha - Gas


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101


    I don't care :D I was young, I got caught out, I paid the bill, nobody died. Life's too short for regrets buddy.

    You paid the bill because you got caught. You didn't wake up the next day and realise that you did wrong, and then pay the bill. You only made restitution after you were caught "bang to rights". You're not even apologetic about your behaviour. Explain to me why you shouldn't have been prosecuted and why you shouldn't now be in jail for theft?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,641 ✭✭✭GarIT


    So, would you steal a hitmans gun if he was paid to shot you or your family or would allow him to shot?

    What sort of comparison is that? Comparing stealing from an innocent victim to an act of completely necessary self defence?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    bajer101 wrote: »
    You paid the bill because you got caught. You didn't wake up the next day and realise that you did wrong, and then pay the bill. You only made restitution after you were caught "bang to rights". You're not even apologetic about your behaviour. Explain to me why you shouldn't have been prosecuted and why you shouldn't now be in jail for theft?

    I will in my flanjula explain myself to you. Maybe the prisons were too full that weekend. Seriously, you must have little to be worrying about...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,641 ✭✭✭GarIT


    I'm sure Duracell would be delighted to know someone has stolen their name and is bragging about theft.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,634 ✭✭✭Aint Eazy Being Cheezy


    I'd say so. Cheers for killing a decent thread btw. Night lads..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,282 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    GarIT wrote: »
    What sort of comparison is that? Comparing stealing from an innocent victim to an act of completely necessary self defence?

    You said this in your post.

    No matter what you think of someone or their profession you don't steal from them.

    The hitman is often trained to kill. You stopping from him would stop him from doing his job and he wouldn't get paid because his profession is to kill.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,178 ✭✭✭bajer101


    I will in my flanjula explain myself to you. Maybe the prisons were too full that weekend. Seriously, you must have little to be worrying about...

    As it happens, I do have an awful lot more to worry about - what with me being an adult and all. But I am really interested to know how why you think you shouldn't be in jail? Jails being full isn't really a valid answer. If I could wave a magic wand and create space in the jails, would you then agree that you should actually now be incarcerated for being the thief that you are?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,915 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    So, would you steal a hitmans gun if he was paid to shot you or your family or would allow him to shot?

    Jesus, thats a tricky one. I do love my family, but to be fair to the hitman he is just trying to do his job. I'll have to have a good think about that one and get back to you


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59 ✭✭junction12


    GarIT wrote: »
    What sort of comparison is that? Comparing stealing from an innocent victim to an act of completely necessary self defence?

    Well you did say that you don't steal. So if you stole the hitmans gun. He wouldn't be able to do his job and he wouldn't get paid.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,641 ✭✭✭GarIT


    You said this in your post.

    No matter what you think of someone or their profession you don't steal from them.

    The hitman is often trained to kill. You stopping from him would stop him from doing his job and he wouldn't get paid because his profession is to kill.

    I'll re word it so, add in that it excludes the profession being illegal or it being a life threatening situation. I thought that would have been self explainatory.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 90 ✭✭Youzername


    Not Irish taxi driver, but funny story nonetheless.

    On holidays in Greece a couple of years back, away with the lads for one of our first holidays away.

    Anyways, after a heavy night out on the drink the 3 of us all hopped in a taxi locked out of our brains.

    Our apartment was in the middle of nowhere (typical) and had to go down a few country-like roads to get to it.

    The driver was a real sound guy, asking us how our night was and all, he put music on full volume for us, was revving the crap out of his car and just having a laugh generally.

    Then at one stage, on a staightish (thankfully) stretch of road he started tellin me (I was in the passenger seat) to hold the steering :eek:

    He then proceeded to open the driver door an pretend he was gonna jump out :eek::eek:

    In our drunken state I'm pretty sure there was a combination of laughter and us shouting at him not to do it!

    He promptly closed the door and started laughin at all us and slagging us for being scared.

    We all laughed our asses of afterwards.

    The guy was mad as a hatter!! ...so between us we gave him an extra score when we got the the apartments :pac:

    It was only the next day when we sobered up and got rid of the hangover that we all realised how nuts the whole situation was :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,068 ✭✭✭LoonyLovegood


    My dad was a taxi driver for a few years in the early 2000s. He's had some stories, but the best one was when he picked up two lads from town, around 2001 or so. They hopped into the car, and he made the usual small talk with them - where were they from, what did they do for a living. One said that he'd been in England a couple of years ago, he'd been a goalkeeper with the Leeds reserves for a few months. The other said he'd been working with his dad in Artane. He drops them off, says goodbye, they give him a nice tip because it was two days before Christmas.

    Christmas morning, seven or eight year old CTYIgirl gets up, and is thrilled with her haul of goodies, including, to the mortification of her now-grown self, a Westlife CD, a Westlife annual and a big poster. Opened it up, there was little biographies of the individual members. Dad looked at what I was reading, and goes "he was in the car two days ago." In about 2001, when they were (arguably) at their most recognisable, Dad had Brian and Nicky from Westlife in his car. And the eejit didn't recognise them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,321 ✭✭✭✭bodhrandude


    I was in Istanbul,Turkey on April 2012 with my sister and her family, we had been wandering about city near the Bosphorus river but wanted to head back to near the Galata Tower at the other end of the city. We hailed a cab as the quickest method to get there, but it meant the driver had to go through rush hour traffic. So what does he go and do, he reverses at top speed about a quarter of a mile round this roundabout and flies up to Galata in no time at all, but it was freaky. The traffic police seem a bit more laid back over there :eek::eek:

    If you want to get into it, you got to get out of it. (Hawkwind 1982)



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭ardle1


    fusion19 wrote: »
    if you want to get a taxi driver going on a rant just mention the black c*#ts who are taking all their business

    Nah your wrong, I drive a taxi and the only people still complaining about those particular drivers! are 'some' customers, and also I feel somewhat embarrassed and ashamed, when I see some people gawk in the open window off said drivers and give them a mouthful off filth and racial abuse! before moving on to the next 'white' driver and use their services instead...


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