31 year old man posts to reddit before suicide

WellThen? · 18-01-2014 01:20PM #1

I was just browsing Reddit the other day when I came across this.

http://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/1v5orn/only_4_days_left_until_i_end_it_all/?limit=500

To say the least I was really affected by this, and also how all of the comments seem to accept this poor man's situation and the outcome he has decided for himself.

He also posted a video explaining why this was his only option and I have to say I have never thought suicide was the answer but this particular situation may have changed my view.

Today was the day, and with no further posts from OP, I believe he may have been successful.

If this isn't suitable for After Hours mods please feel free to move it.

DEFTLEFTHAND · 18-01-2014 01:30PM

Suicide is personal business, don't post your intentions anywhere is surely the way. He knew full that reddit would have a field day with it.

Call Me Jimmy · 18-01-2014 01:35PM

I won't comment on his death because he may not be dead but one point made there is about euthanasia, I just cannot comprehend how it is still not an option. HOW can you tell me prolonging the pain of a human (I controversially include psychological/emotional, not just clear cut physical cases) is better just so they are 'around' for you. So YOU don't have to grieve.

Our puppy had a horrific accident,

pulling out her stitches in the middle of the night. Odd yelping woke me and I went down. The insides of the dog were in a trail to behind the couch. The dog was just bleeding to death, with the bottom having fallen out of her. Somehow she managed to survive an hour til we got to the vet. When I imagine the pain of my own insides falling out through my stomach I get a glimpse of what her pain was like. We got to the vet and immediately he confirmed the suspicion that there was absolutely no helping her. At that very moment we told him to please just end it.

Putting an end to pain is available for animals beyond treatment but not for humans?

It is never pleasant when a being comes to an end, but sometimes it is for the better. This is one of the few things I feel strongly about.

UCDVet · 18-01-2014 01:42PM

Seems like a great example of when suicide should be an option. If the story is true and I were in his shoes, I'd at least want the choice of suicide.

kylith · 18-01-2014 01:47PM

That poor guy. It does seem to be a case where taking his own life will save him a lifetime of agony. I can't help but think of his family though, he says they have a their own problems but I can't see how his death will do anything but increase their suffering. However, maybe he's talked his decision over with them and they're supportive. If my brother had those problems I don't think I could in could conscience try talk them into living with it for decades.

Holsten · 18-01-2014 01:49PM

There is a comment from someone who knows him saying he is fine. Verified by the Reddit mods.

Gremlinertia · 18-01-2014 01:49PM

It's a debate brought to the forefront, and it really should be.. For people who are struggling themselves, it may help put things in perspective one way or another. If this story is true, he has a horrible existence with no relief in sight for a minimum seven years. Pure logic of his balancing of the situation bring him to his decision.. It is truly awful and heartbreaking that a young man has had to weigh things up as such and come to this conclusion, but it makes as much sense as someone with a terminal illness coming to this decision.. His ailments may not be fatal themselves but pain is a ferocious destroyer of the person as a whole. Hope he finds peace.

Hello_MrFox · 18-01-2014 01:50PM

His life, his decision.

lukesmom · 18-01-2014 01:52PM

Heart goes out to him but why tell everyone about it???

Holsten · 18-01-2014 01:58PM

Unless you have a sever disability that has brought your quality of life to near zero then I don't think it's ever the answer. Something like locked in syndrome or anything equally terrifying.

I mean, once you're dead that's it. There is NOTHING after it. This guy has the ability to improve his life.

lukesmom · 18-01-2014 01:59PM

Mr.S wrote: »

Reddit is a community, i'm sure he feels connected to it, as he doesn't leave the house.

Very sad story, but it does seem like he's making the right choice, why have years and years of pain when you can end it all in a few seconds.

Because his family will have to pay his funeral costs and they are already having financial difficulties.

P_1 · 18-01-2014 01:59PM

lukesmom wrote: »

Heart goes out to him but why tell everyone about it???

Presumably to spread the message that sometimes it may be better to end your life rather then endure chronic physical pain which seemingly has no medical remedy.

Obviously suicide is a fairly emotive topic so apologies in advance if this offends anybody who has been impacted by it but it is a debate that really has to be had. We see it happen with animals all the time when it is deemed best to end their lives rather than prolong physical pain, people should be allowed the same kindness.

Call Me Jimmy · 18-01-2014 02:06PM

lukesmom wrote: »

Heart goes out to him but why tell everyone about it???

I believe in most cases sharing the information in any way is a sign that acceptance has not been reached, that they are not fully prepared to kill themselves - I stress, most cases.

It is a very lonely place to be considering suicide, even for those well used to loneliness, it is a quiet, cold realm which teases someone with the possibilities of life, brings them into sharper focus. There is a desire to communicate, even in someone who is resolute, that you in fact are going to end. Your universe is going back into oblivion. It's two feet from your face.

My suspicion that we all are children masquerading as adults is somewhat confirmed in death, adults often revert or regress to childhood before death if it is a conscious death. Soldiers, men who walked into bullets cry for their 'mommas' and want to be hushed and cradled.

So I can imagine this is his version of that. I am loathed to say cry for attention because it is very disrespectful of people who really do want to die, but I think it is natural to want attention especially before it is going to end.

Tasden · 18-01-2014 02:08PM

Gremlinertia wrote: »

It's a debate brought to the forefront, and it really should be.. For people who are struggling themselves, it may help put things in perspective one way or another. If this story is true, he has a horrible existence with no relief in sight for a minimum seven years. Pure logic of his balancing of the situation bring him to his decision.. It is truly awful and heartbreaking that a young man has had to weigh things up as such and come to this conclusion, but it makes as much sense as someone with a terminal illness coming to this decision.. His ailments may not be fatal themselves but pain is a ferocious destroyer of the person as a whole. Hope he finds peace.

Completely agree, I had a sore knee the past week, nothing serious or long term at all, my mood was dreadful, every step I took drained the energy from me because it was sore to walk, I was checking the clock constantly to see when I could take my next dose of pain relief. And this was something which I knew would be ok in a few days, I can only imagine what its like to wake up knowing you'll be in pain for the day every single day. I only thought to myself then that I pity anybody who has something that causes them constant long term pain because it drains you emotionally, and I was just being a drama queen about a minor injury, nothing like that man was experiencing.

lukesmom · 18-01-2014 02:11PM

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I believe in most cases sharing the information in any way is a sign that acceptance has not been reached, that they are not fully prepared to kill themselves - I stress, most cases.

It is a very lonely place to be considering suicide, even for those well used to loneliness, it is a quiet, cold realm which teases someone with the possibilities of life, brings them into sharper focus. There is a desire to communicate, even in someone who is resolute, that you in fact are going to end. Your universe is going back into oblivion. It's two feet from your face.

My suspicion that we all are children masquerading as adults is somewhat confirmed in death, adults often revert or regress to childhood before death if it is a conscious death. Soldiers, men who walked into bullets cry for their 'mommas' and want to be hushed and cradled.

So I can imagine this is his version of that. I am loathed to say cry for attention because it is very disrespectful of people who really do want to die, but I think it is natural to want attention especially before it is going to end.

Yeah I feel pretty stupid for writing that now apologies. I know too well what its like to be suicidal but I've no physical injuries like this man has. Hope he finds peace in death, he obviously doesn't have any in this life.

weldoninhio · 18-01-2014 02:13PM

Holsten wrote: »

Unless you have a sever disability that has brought your quality of life to near zero then I don't think it's ever the answer. Something like locked in syndrome or anything equally terrifying.

I mean, once you're dead that's it. There is NOTHING after it. This guy has the ability to improve his life.

That is absolute nonsense. I'm 31, fairly healthy, have friends, have a job, but given the option of ending it all now i would, without hesitation. Why bother with life when you don't want to. I'll prob live to be 60/70 or more. But i don't enjoy life. I don't look forward to anything. And i don't care about it.

I'd much rather be able to end it now than have to wait another 30-40 years of mundane, treading water "life".

wendell borton · 18-01-2014 02:15PM

I think he right to come out as he has. He seems to have come to his conclusion in a thoughtful and logical manner. Maybe If more people felt they could be open with their feelings and weight up their choices maybe unnecessary tragedies could be avoided.

Turtwig · 18-01-2014 02:16PM

Holsten wrote: »

Unless you have a sever disability that has brought your quality of life to near zero then I don't think it's ever the answer. Something like locked in syndrome or anything equally terrifying.

I mean, once you're dead that's it. There is NOTHING after it. This guy has the ability to improve his life.

Being in agonising pain is debilitating and if it is lifelong or even for an extended duration a person it can take some getting to terms with. Depending on the extent of the pain and the medications required, a person's quality of life, the factor you deemed relevant, can effectively be zero. Some people cope with suffering differently than others. That's because everyone experiences suffering differently.

Almost nobody wants to die; nobody wants to suffer.

--LOS-- · 18-01-2014 03:40PM

Have you ever browsed r/depression or r/suicidewatch, it's a small world here on boards but unfortunately this story is nothing new, it's also another example of how far more accepting and understanding people are of physical pain versus mental pain

lukesmom · 18-01-2014 07:32PM

weldoninhio wrote: »

That is absolute nonsense. I'm 31, fairly healthy, have friends, have a job, but given the option of ending it all now i would, without hesitation. Why bother with life when you don't want to. I'll prob live to be 60/70 or more. But i don't enjoy life. I don't look forward to anything. And i don't care about it.

I'd much rather be able to end it now than have to wait another 30-40 years of mundane, treading water "life".

You have the option but your still alive, must mean you care about living more than you say

oppenheimer1 · 18-01-2014 07:47PM

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I won't comment on his death because he may not be dead but one point made there is about euthanasia, I just cannot comprehend how it is still not an option. HOW can you tell me prolonging the pain of a human (I controversially include psychological/emotional, not just clear cut physical cases) is better just so they are 'around' for you. So YOU don't have to grieve.

Our puppy had a horrific accident,
pulling out her stitches in the middle of the night. Odd yelping woke me and I went down. The insides of the dog were in a trail to behind the couch. The dog was just bleeding to death, with the bottom having fallen out of her. Somehow she managed to survive an hour til we got to the vet. When I imagine the pain of my own insides falling out through my stomach I get a glimpse of what her pain was like. We got to the vet and immediately he confirmed the suspicion that there was absolutely no helping her. At that very moment we told him to please just end it.

Putting an end to pain is available for animals beyond treatment but not for humans?

It is never pleasant when a being comes to an end, but sometimes it is for the better. This is one of the few things I feel strongly about.

The open regime you suggest would be rife for abuse. Say someone who is in great psychological or emotional difficulty, are you really saying they could be possibly in a fit state of mind to make the ultimate decision? Are you also saying people cannot be manipulated to feel that they would be better off dead?

How would you safeguard the system you are in favour of?

Penny Tration · 18-01-2014 07:58PM

weldoninhio wrote: »

That is absolute nonsense. I'm 31, fairly healthy, have friends, have a job, but given the option of ending it all now i would, without hesitation. Why bother with life when you don't want to. I'll prob live to be 60/70 or more. But i don't enjoy life. I don't look forward to anything. And i don't care about it.

I'd much rather be able to end it now than have to wait another 30-40 years of mundane, treading water "life".

Mate, if you truly feel like that, I think you should speak to your gp. I mean that with the utmost sincerity.

Czarcasm · 18-01-2014 08:44PM

green_screen wrote: »

Mate, if you truly feel like that, I think you should speak to your gp. I mean that with the utmost sincerity.

That's exactly the problem with people putting stuff like that out on the internet, often times it's difficult to distinguish between just attention seeking, and genuinely held belief.

The attention seeking trivialises the issue, but most people would still take it seriously. It's the same with people who trivialise depression or suicide by announcing on social media that they're depressed and want to die because they couldn't afford the latest phone or games console, or a relationship didn't work out, or their boss is a this, that and the other, etc.

Femme_Fatale · 18-01-2014 08:48PM

green_screen wrote: »

Mate, if you truly feel like that, I think you should speak to your gp. I mean that with the utmost sincerity.

Yeh I agree. Everyone goes through phases of feeling down, even absolutely dreadful - due to something happening.

But if a person feels there will never be anything to look forward to/enjoy in life, something doesn't seem right.

Arthur Rimbaud · 18-01-2014 08:53PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Yeh I agree. Everyone goes through phases of feeling down, even absolutely dreadful - due to something happening.

But if a person feels there will never be anything to look forward to/enjoy in life, something doesn't seem right.

what if there really is nothing to look forward to and there is nothing to enjoy. I don't relate to it but it could happen. Someone in chronic pain or what have u like the man on reddit. seems fairly practical.

Femme_Fatale · 18-01-2014 08:56PM

Arthur Rimbaud wrote: »

what if there really is nothing to look forward to and there is nothing to enjoy. I don't relate to it but it could happen. Someone in chronic pain or what have u like the man on reddit. seems fairly practical.

Oh I know, but I'm specifically referring to that poster who said they are in good health, have friends, a job, but see nothing positive in life.

dodderangler · 18-01-2014 08:57PM

Personally I think that him posting a thread like that was his way of looking for help.
If he was suicidal he'd have done it. Poor bloke obviously felt like he'd get help online. Sometimes can help and sometimes can get answers from some sick little fcuks

Nino Brown · 18-01-2014 09:07PM

Suicide should always be an option, for everybody. I don't necessarily agree we need to provide a service for people who want to kill themselves though, it shouldn't be made easy, or something that somebody can do on a whim, if somebody wants to do it, it's actually pretty easy, I think people should only be helped if they are incapable of doing it themselves. But it is the ultimate arrogance to tell somebody they don't have the right to end their own life if they choose.
Who says somebody needs to be in chronic pain, or terminally ill? Just being bored with life is a perfectly legitimate reason to end it all.

jam_mac_jam · 18-01-2014 09:17PM

God, that's very sad. Its actually hard to read.

He is in so much pain though I can see why he is doing it, that would drive you mad.

Czarcasm · 18-01-2014 09:31PM

Nino Brown wrote: »

Suicide should always be an option, for everybody. I don't necessarily agree we need to provide a service for people who want to kill themselves though, it shouldn't be made easy, or something that somebody can do on a whim, if somebody wants to do it, it's actually pretty easy, I think people should only be helped if they are incapable of doing it themselves. But it is the ultimate arrogance to tell somebody they don't have the right to end their own life if they choose.
Who says somebody needs to be in chronic pain, or terminally ill? Just being bored with life is a perfectly legitimate reason to end it all.

I don't think that's a belief that should be considered borne of arrogance tbh. I would say it's more a belief based on the fact that life should be valued. The idea that suicide should always be an option for everybody is a very simplistic viewpoint tbh, and arguing that just being bored with life is a legitimate reason to choose to die by suicide is utter nonsense, because by that logic, then any individual reason can be a legitimised, which contradicts your earlier assertion that it shouldn't be made easy for someone who chooses to take their own life.

I think a service SHOULD be available in Ireland to facilitate a person who chooses to die by suicide or who wishes to be euthanised, but it should be overseen by a team of medical professionals. That way recent court cases could be avoided and afford a person their dignity in choosing to die.

gctest50 · 18-01-2014 09:41PM

Czarcasm wrote: »

.........
I think a service SHOULD be available in Ireland to facilitate a person who chooses to die by suicide or who wishes to be euthanised, but it should be overseen by a team of medical professionals. That way recent court cases could be avoided and afford a person their dignity in choosing to die.

For sure , this sort of setup :

The end-of-life clinic employs thirty teams, consisting of a doctor and a nurse, that perform euthanasia across the country. In addition to the two psychiatrists employed, many GPs and internists work at the clinic.

http://www.nrc.nl/nieuws/2014/01/02/in-the-netherlands-nine-psychiatric-patients-received-euthanasia/

31 year old man posts to reddit before suicide

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