35 year old alcoholic mother dying of liver failure

emmabrighton · 14-01-2014 10:33AM #1

Hey, saw this yesterday in the Daily Fail about a woman in her thirties who was drinking up to 40 cans a day. She had 4 kids and they were all taken into care. She is now dying of liver failure and wants to die in her own bed.

This woman has been an alcoholic/addict since her 20s but it doesn't look like she ever received help for her addiction.

I think this is a really sad story. She probably was one of those intimidating scumbags you see knocking around every town/city but she didn't start that way...

Nothing surprising in it, but i have included an exerpt from the article. I wonder how many of us, our mothers and our fathers fall into the below category. Binge drinking on the weekend, or having a glass or three in the evenings. I wonder if our livers have been affected from all that alcohol...

Across all age groups, an extra 1,000 people with alcohol-related liver damage are being admitted to hospitals in England each year.
Experts say few of these would be regarded by other members of the public as alcoholics. Rather they are apparently ordinary people who are unwittingly drinking too much.
This includes middle-aged, middle-class women who enjoy a bottle of wine a day, or successful businessmen who have working lunches.
It has also recently been revealed that an increasing number of mothers are drinking heavily.

gugleguy · 14-01-2014 10:53AM

What do the kids' dad(s) think, seriously? What is their father going to do for the woman's kids? How responsible does dad feel here? Or is first priority on waking up each morning that can of severe lager or whatever's cheapest?

Lapin · 14-01-2014 10:57AM

It is a sad story.

emmabrighton · 14-01-2014 11:00AM

gugleguy wrote: »

What do the kids' dad(s) think, seriously? What is their father going to do for the woman's kids? How responsible does dad feel here? Or is first priority on waking up each morning that can of severe lager or whatever's cheapest?

Probably.

Sort of off the point I was making but how much does 40 cans per day cost? 80? Thats £80 per day... £560 per week? and thats the other thing... clearly on benefits no one could drink that much and hold down a job...

But my original point still stands the 5 year old kid she once was didnt sit on the swings in the playground dreaming of becoming an alcoholic...

Its pretty sad

Akrasia · 14-01-2014 11:04AM

Every town and villiage in Ireland has people in it who have just given up.

Sometimes it can take more strength than you have to fight and for most people, the best source of strength is the hope of a better future.

It is very easy to imagine how a few bad decisions or a few unfortunate events can completely alter the course of someone's life.

I have had some relatives who hit the bottle very hard after losing a loved one and there is no way to break through to them. It can take years for their own demons to resolve themselves if they ever manage to escape

But then there are also some people who are just complete assholes who never really cared about anyone else in the first place and became alcoholics because it was more fun and easier for them than taking responsibility for their own lives.

Life is full of all kinds of people. Feel really sorry for the kids, I hope their foster parents are taking good care of them and have given them the opportunity to achieve something in their own lives.

Carrie Madshaw · 14-01-2014 11:12AM

It's insidious, that's the nature of the beast. It can dramatically change (ruin) your live without you even acknowledging there's a problem.

I quit smoking 8 months ago having smoked for 15 years and found it much easier then not buying booze on a Friday night (or a boring Tuesday, or a Wednesday when there's nothing on or a Thursday cos it's almost the weekend etc).

It's more powerful then a lot of people realise I think.

anncoates · 14-01-2014 11:35AM

I know somebody that was approaching a similar situation but has thankfully kicked it. What is there really to feel except sadness and many of us are closer to that position than we think.

emmabrighton · 14-01-2014 11:36AM

Carrie Madshaw wrote: »

It's insidious, that's the nature of the beast. It can dramatically change (ruin) your live without you even acknowledging there's a problem.

I quit smoking 8 months ago having smoked for 15 years and found it much easier then not buying booze on a Friday night (or a boring Tuesday, or a Wednesday when there's nothing on or a Thursday cos it's almost the weekend etc).

It's more powerful then a lot of people realise I think.

Well that's it, I suppose... you can buy a bottle of wine or a six pack at the petrol station on the way home from work...

Its mad to think how far we have come... In my grandmothers time, women simply did not drink... it was not the done think.. They weren't even permitted in the bars, had to sit in the lounge... when I was a teen there was the ladette culture... everyone trying so hard to be Liam Gallagher and the like...

Hands up who would regularly drink more than the recommended daily safe limit????

Only one large glass of wine in the evening for a woman? I've definitely drank more than that on a week night...

Recommended daily safe limit Recommended weekly safe limit
Men maximum 3-4 units a day no more than 21 units per week
Women maximum 2-3 units a day no more than 14 units per week

Examples

Type of drink Units

Pint or can of normal strength lager (Harp, Carling, Boddingtons etc) 2 units
Pint or can of strong lager (Stella, Red Stripe, Corona, Kronenberg etc) 3 units
Bottle of lager (Budweizer, etc) 2 units
1 litre bottle of normal strength cider (Stongbow, Woodpecker etc) 4.5 units
1 litre bottle of strong cider (White Lightening etc) 8 units
1 bottle of alcopop ( Bacardi Breezer, WKD, Smirnoff Ice etc) 2 units
75cl bottle of Sherry (QC, Harveys Bristol Cream) 26 units
75cl bottle of Port 15 units
75cl bottle of wine (wine comes in different strengths, check the label) 7-9 units
Large glass of wine in a pub 3 units
Standard size bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 26–28 units
1 litre bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 40 units
A single pub measure of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 1 units

Saucy McKetchup · 14-01-2014 11:42AM

emmabrighton wrote: »

Probably.

Sort of off the point I was making but how much does 40 cans per day cost? 80? Thats £80 per day... £560 per week? and thats the other thing... clearly on

£2 a can? I'd say the 40 cans a day she was supposed to have drank is an exaggeration just like your price for a can, you can get cans for 70 cent in some places

moxin · 14-01-2014 11:43AM

emmabrighton wrote: »

Hands up who would regularly drink more than the recommended daily safe limit????

Only one large glass of wine in the evening for a woman? I've definitely drank more than that on a week night...

Recommended daily safe limit Recommended weekly safe limit
Men maximum 3-4 units a day no more than 21 units per week
Women maximum 2-3 units a day no more than 14 units per week

The problem is not excess drinking over a weekend(as it has a recovery period of at least 5 days during the week), the problem is excess drinking nearly every day over several years. That's how one gets liver disease.

the groutch · 14-01-2014 11:46AM

the real question is how she was getting that much booze?
if she was buying it herself, the supermarket/offie staff shouldnt be selling to her in that state.
and if someone was buying it for her, they have alot to answer for as it's pretty much assisted suicide.

emmabrighton · 14-01-2014 11:47AM

moxin wrote: »

The problem is not excess drinking over a weekend(as it has a recovery period of at least 5 days during the week), the problem is excess drinking nearly every day over several years. That's how one gets liver disease.

Yes but one large glass per night with dinner followed by a blow out on a Friday night and down to the pub for the match on Saturday every week for the duration of your 20s with only Sunday to recover would be sustained excess drinking nearly every day.

Even doing 3 binges a week during your years at university would do it i reckon...

emmabrighton · 14-01-2014 11:47AM

Saucy McKetchup wrote: »

£2 a can? I'd say the 40 cans a day she was supposed to have drank is an exaggeration just like your price for a can, you can get cans for 70 cent in some places

Well I am a daily fail reader :pac: prone to exaggeration

14-01-2014 11:51AM

emmabrighton wrote: »

Recommended daily safe limit Recommended weekly safe limit
Men maximum 3-4 units a day no more than 21 units per week
Women maximum 2-3 units a day no more than 14 units per week

Examples

Type of drink Units
Pint or can of normal strength lager (Harp, Carling, Boddingtons etc) 2 units

Pint or can of strong lager (Stella, Red Stripe, Corona, Kronenberg etc) 3 units

Bottle of lager (Budweizer, etc) 2 units

1 litre bottle of normal strength cider (Stongbow, Woodpecker etc) 4.5 units

1 litre bottle of strong cider (White Lightening etc) 8 units

1 bottle of alcopop ( Bacardi Breezer, WKD, Smirnoff Ice etc) 2 units

75cl bottle of Sherry (QC, Harveys Bristol Cream) 26 units

75cl bottle of Port 15 units

75cl bottle of wine (wine comes in different strengths, check the label) 7-9 units

Large glass of wine in a pub 3 units

Standard size bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 26–28 units

1 litre bottle of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 40 units

A single pub measure of spirits (vodka, gin, brandy, whiskey etc) 1 units

A good many of my peers would drink 14 units on each night out, maybe 2 or 3 nights at the weekend, and several more units on a few weeknights. At that rate, a sizeable portion of people my age are drinking three times the recommended limit.

I'm not much of drinker so I'm wary of sounding preachy when I bring it up, but I've one friend I'm quite concerned about. When I try broach the subject I'm dismissed with a 'ah, you're only young once' type response.

The thing is, I've seen her make serious errors of judgement what only avoided disaster because there were less drunk people around to modify her behaviour. We won't always be there though.

I think (from my sober perspective) that many people are flirting with dependence to a degree they're not really aware of, because it's so commonplace to drink so much as a matter of course.

moxin · 14-01-2014 11:53AM

emmabrighton wrote: »

Yes but one large glass per night with dinner followed by a blow out on a Friday night and down to the pub for the match on Saturday every week for the duration of your 20s with only Sunday to recover would be sustained excess drinking nearly every day.

Even doing 3 binges a week during your years at university would do it i reckon...

Yes, wine is a powerful drink with a high(13%) alcohol content when beer is just about 4%-5%. Depends on size of the glass though, i'd reckon one should not drink more than a third of a bottle a day.
The key also is to have a recovery period of at least 3 days in my opinion, if one doesn't have that into their routine, alarm bells should ring to change one's drinking habits.

My name is URL · 14-01-2014 11:57AM

Fair play to her boyfriend for standing by her through her illness, whatever else about their lifestyle choices that takes some courage. Don't think I'd be up for it.

SEPT 23 1989 · 14-01-2014 12:01PM

Where did she get the money to drink 40 cans a day? i am sure with that kind of intake you would be classed as disabled and unable to work

whatdoicare · 14-01-2014 12:04PM

It's very hard in Ireland to give up drink, especially if you're trying to stop.

I rarely drink, I don't come from a big drinking family but I noticed when I was old enough to go out or to visit friends/relatives homes that the alcohol is nearly forced on you!

When I got pregnant, I found out just before Christmas and I got comments like "ah now you can't drink!What are you going to do??" and "sure, one or two won't hurt" I was like, no, no drinking for me thanks... I dont really want it.

I went to my husbands cousins house to introduce them to my five week old and they were pouring the wine for me before I even sat down!

My husband doesn't drink at all after a very scary episode of drink driving when he was young but people who've known him years refuse to accept this and have even switched his lucozade for alcohol in the hopes of getting him going again. I mean, wtf!

It's just the culture here, every social occasion revolves around drinking. It's not too hard to go from that to total dependence and people actively and even aggressively encourage it!

I feel so sorry for that lady and even more so for her kids who lost their mammy and probably didn't have much of a childhood.

Femme_Fatale · 14-01-2014 12:04PM

gugleguy wrote: »

What do the kids' dad(s) think, seriously? What is their father going to do for the woman's kids? How responsible does dad feel here? Or is first priority on waking up each morning that can of severe lager or whatever's cheapest?

Fairly loaded last sentence. It's the mother who has alcoholism, where does it say that about the father(s)?

gctest50 · 14-01-2014 12:06PM

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

Where did she get the money to drink 40 cans a day? i am sure with that kind of intake you would be classed as disabled and unable to work

Bit cheaper in the UK

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1280704/A-barrel-hypocrisy-Tesco-sells-beer-69p-pint-boss-backs-cheap-booze-crackdown.html

.

yawhat! · 14-01-2014 12:06PM

Lightweight!

kidneyfan · 14-01-2014 12:08PM

Another victim of the war against the poor.

Wattle · 14-01-2014 12:09PM

The problem we have in this country is that people are brought up with the notion that socialising of any sort has to involve drink. It's just completely embedded in the culture to a really unhealthy degree. I've lost count of the amount of people in the Non Drinkers Forum and in real life who really want to stop but think their social lives will be finished forever if they don't drink. I find that really sad.

120_Minutes · 14-01-2014 12:09PM

....and yet certain people (many who frequent this forum) still think cannabis is more dangerous than the auld drop.

BillyMitchel · 14-01-2014 12:13PM

In today's mirror too.

My old man has cirrhosis of the liver too. It's hard to watch. He went from about 14 stone to about 8 in around 6 months. Doctors said he had no time left 10 years ago but he's still with us. Not in perfect health but he's grand!

He's a very very lucky man. If all the grand kids weren't about I'd say he'd have given in.

sunflower27 · 14-01-2014 12:14PM

Those images are really haunting. God love her. That is no life anyone would choose for themselves. People that say alcoholism cannot become a disease should look at those photos. What a truly sad and tragic life.

Terry1985 · 14-01-2014 12:24PM

kidneyfan wrote: »

Another victim of the war against the poor.

What is this 'war against this poor'??

She has the freedom to do what she wants, her decisions led her to that point.
Governments can barely pay for basic health care, never mind extensive rehab and counseling for self destructive individuals.

TerrorFirmer · 14-01-2014 01:20PM

Similar to the stories about people who are incredibly fat, you have to wonder where the money comes from? Even if she was drinking, for arguments sake, some 50p own brand rubbish, that's still £20 a day, and £140 a week?

Saw a documentary on Britains fattest man before, he was eating several fry's a day in a cafe, and often going to a takeaway and ordering almost everything on the menu. How does one afford that, given he sat around all day on a couch?

sunflower27 · 14-01-2014 01:47PM

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Similar to the stories about people who are incredibly fat, you have to wonder where the money comes from? Even if she was drinking, for arguments sake, some 50p own brand rubbish, that's still £20 a day, and £140 a week?

Saw a documentary on Britains fattest man before, he was eating several fry's a day in a cafe, and often going to a takeaway and ordering almost everything on the menu. How does one afford that, given he sat around all day on a couch?

Probably because he spends nothing on clothes, cars, nice toiletries, etc. Having seen documentaries on severely obese people, they wear the same clothes, don't go out socialising, don't take holidays. All their money is spent on food and electricity. It is obviously do-able.

sunflower27 · 14-01-2014 01:48PM

TerrorFirmer wrote: »

Similar to the stories about people who are incredibly fat, you have to wonder where the money comes from? Even if she was drinking, for arguments sake, some 50p own brand rubbish, that's still £20 a day, and £140 a week?

She possibly got it wholesale somehow, cash and carry or something like that so she got it in bulk instead of having to go to the shop all the time.

sunflower27 · 14-01-2014 01:50PM

My name is URL wrote: »

Fair play to her boyfriend for standing by her through her illness, whatever else about their lifestyle choices that takes some courage. Don't think I'd be up for it.

The way he is looking at her is heartbreaking. Their life together should have been so different. Really upset by this story.

35 year old alcoholic mother dying of liver failure

Comments