The Friend Zone

Its All Wright · 13-01-2014 01:15PM #1

I know a girl, shes a fairly good looking & gets a lot of attention from the lads. She is single but would have no problems getting a boyfriend & i know she has had numerous offers or advances recently. Anyway long story short one of my mates is really interested in her and in fairness they get on great, i think they would make a great couple cause they share a lot of similar interests & have a great laugh together. She get quite flirty with him, ive heard her say to him stuff like "you would make a great boyfriend" & "why cant all lads be as nice as you". He would literally do anything for her & he does..he goes the bar for her on nights out, holds her jacket or even walks her home but nothing ever happens!

Hes a cool lad, such a gent but hes too blind to see whats going on. Ive tried to suggest to him that hes in the friend zone & nothing will ever happen, he plays it down but hes like a dog chasing a bone. Shes tried these things with me when i first met her & i knew what she was trying to do so i didnt fall into it, im mates with her but i dont give her any attention, i think that bothers her a bit cause shes used to every lad falling over her. I do think shes gorgeous but i pretend i have no interest & she probably respects that more than lads falling over her.

Anyway..have you ever been a victim of the friend zone & girls why do you torture lads with this?? Fair enough be good mates with a lad but dont pretend you like him & give him hope!

stefan idiot jones · 13-01-2014 01:17PM

I am so glad I'm forty two.

sadie06 · 13-01-2014 01:19PM

So, your friend hasn't made a move on her, or asked her out, but it's all her fault?

anncoates · 13-01-2014 01:19PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

Anyway long story short one of my mates is really interested in her a!

Mo way?

Zubeneschamali · 13-01-2014 01:19PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

Fair enough be good mates with a lad but dont pretend you like him & give him hope!

How can you be good mates with someone if you don't like them?

biko · 13-01-2014 01:20PM

I've been friendzoned a few times but also friendzoned girls.

The Backwards Man · 13-01-2014 01:20PM

Is this a sexist thread? I'm dosed with the cold and my spidey senses are on the blink.

Potatoeman · 13-01-2014 01:22PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

I know a girl, shes a fairly good looking & gets a lot of attention from the lads. She is single but would have no problems getting a boyfriend & i know she has had numerous offers or advances recently. Anyway long story short one of my mates is really interested in her and in fairness they get on great, i think they would make a great couple cause they share a lot of similar interests & have a great laugh together. She get quite flirty with him, ive heard her say to him stuff like "you would make a great boyfriend" & "why cant all lads be as nice as you". He would literally do anything for her & he does..he goes the bar for her on nights out, holds her jacket or even walks her home but nothing ever happens!

Hes a cool lad, such a gent but hes too blind to see whats going on. Ive tried to suggest to him that hes in the friend zone & nothing will ever happen, he plays it down but hes like a dog chasing a bone. Shes tried these things with me when i first met her & i knew what she was trying to do so i didnt fall into it, im mates with her but i dont give her any attention, i think that bothers her a bit cause shes used to every lad falling over her. I do think shes gorgeous but i pretend i have no interest & she probably respects that more than lads falling over her.

Anyway..have you ever been a victim of the friend zone & girls why do you torture lads with this?? Fair enough be good mates with a lad but dont pretend you like him & give him hope!

If shes not attracted to him he should move on. She may be using him as a saftey guy. Stringing him along while looking for better offers.
I dont think its healthy being friends with someone you fancy if they are not into you.

Zubeneschamali · 13-01-2014 01:24PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

She may be using him as a saftey guy. Stringing him along while looking for better offers.

Or maybe she thinks they really are good mates, and that he's not just pretending so he can get his hole.

anncoates · 13-01-2014 01:24PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

but i pretend i have no interest & she probably respects that more than lads falling over her!

Maybe there are some people that respond to indifference - or they respond positively because they see a opportunity for friendship with no complications - but I think the whole player/bastard/indifference area is vastly exaggerated.

Most of the the time, people just fancy who they fancy and sometimes the person is a cunt and they just like them despite that (and hope they'll change) rather than because they are.

jimgoose · 13-01-2014 01:24PM

He needs to quit with this "being nice" shyte and start drinking 27 vodka-and-Red-bulls with no trousers on and then shoving an entire beer stein into his mouth while being cheered on by the lads singing "God Save Ireland". She'll be singing Avé Maria with her ladyparts in no time.

Its All Wright · 13-01-2014 01:27PM

To confirm, he has told me he liked her & i would be fairly positive that he has asked her out but hes never told me that he has. I personally do like this girl & she is really good looking..but i wouldnt go out with her cause we wouldnt last a month..not my type at alll

To balance things.. Lads why do you put yourself through this? Im not blaming this all on woman, a lad caught up in this could easily end it by walking away from the situation or changing there ways

glass_onion · 13-01-2014 01:36PM

Your friend is either very shy.or just an friend.or an idiot waiting and hoping for something to happen.I bet she's the sort that puts pics on fb with the tags like "oh i don't look great" followed by a million plus complimentary compliments.

Muise... · 13-01-2014 01:38PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Is this a sexist thread? I'm dosed with the cold and my spidey senses are on the blink.

it's a sticky web of misunderstanding and whinge that will catch lots of blue-arsed PUA-flies by teatime.

Its All Wright · 13-01-2014 01:42PM

glass_onion wrote: »

Your friend is either very shy.or just an friend.or an idiot waiting and hoping for something to happen.I bet she's the sort that puts pics on fb with the tags like "oh i don't look great" followed by a million plus complimentary compliments.

This! She does exactly this except when people comment & tell her she looks "fab" or "amazing" she replies with stuff like "would you stop, you look amazing hun" etc

My mate has passed up good opportunities with woman on nights out incase it ruins his chances with her, before he met her he wouldnt have taught twice about. I can tell its eating away at him

Legs.Eleven · 13-01-2014 01:45PM

My mate has passed up good opportunities with woman on nights out incase it ruins his chances with her, before he met her he wouldnt have taught twice about. I can tell its eating away at him

Your friend is a walkover. I have no sympathy for him.

Its All Wright · 13-01-2014 01:45PM

Muise... wrote: »

it's a sticky web of misunderstanding and whinge that will catch lots of blue-arsed PUA-flies by teatime.

How is it sexist? im aware it can work both ways. I should have stated that maybe in the original post but this story refers to a girl playing a lad for a fool. If woman have similar stories where they were friend zoned, please feel free to share

Banjo String · 13-01-2014 01:46PM

mickydoomsux · 13-01-2014 01:48PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

To balance things.. Lads why do you put yourself through this? Im not blaming this all on woman, a lad caught up in this could easily end it by walking away from the situation or changing there ways

Because the vast majority of men are never satisfied with what they can have so they chase things they can't have.

Muise... · 13-01-2014 01:50PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

How is it sexist? im aware it can work both ways. I should have stated that maybe in the original post but this story refers to a girl playing a lad for a fool. If woman have similar stories where they were friend zoned, please feel free to share

I didn't say it was sexist, just misunderstood and whingey.

I can't say I've been friendzoned, but that's because I don't see it in terms of zones or games; I have sometimes been barking up the wrong tree and ended up making a friend instead of a boyfriend. I also have a fair amount of male friends, none of whom tag along after me like an eejit, whatever their feelings for me were when we first met.

kidneyfan · 13-01-2014 01:52PM

He shouldn't see her for a while and get a real girlfriend. Is he giving her money?

Agricola · 13-01-2014 01:53PM

Friend zone me hole. Ireland is turning into an episode of Friends or whatever substitutes for it in 2013.
Man up. Drop the hand. You get the ride or a smack in the mouth. Everyone knows where they stand.

I should give talks......

Voodoomelon · 13-01-2014 01:56PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

My mate has passed up good opportunities with woman on nights out incase it ruins his chances with her, before he met her he wouldnt have taught twice about. I can tell its eating away at him

If he took up one of these opportunities when she was out the same night, I guarantee she'd be all over him.

Gongoozler · 13-01-2014 01:56PM

I'm guessing it's out of infatuation or lack of self esteem. Unless he genuinely thinks they're a perfect fit. He's at nothing by the sounds of it. He should just move on, such a waste of time and energy.

Muise... · 13-01-2014 02:00PM

Agricola wrote: »

Friend zone me hole. Ireland is turning into an episode of Friends or whatever substitutes for it in 2013.
Man up. Drop the hand. You get the ride or a smack in the mouth. Everyone knows where they stand.

I should give talks......

*purrs.

and that, gentlemen, is how you do it.

Its All Wright · 13-01-2014 02:03PM

Voodoomelon wrote: »

If he took up one of these opportunities when she was out the same night, I guarantee she'd be all over him.

Exactly, i think she enjoys the chase & likes that she has him on a string. Who doesnt like attention though? She knows she could have him anytime she wanted. If he went off with someone else i know she try get him back on side

Fishyfreak · 13-01-2014 02:04PM

To borrow a Northside phrase, your friend is a dzzzzzzzzzzope.

There is a girl that works in my place. Her nickname is Whitney Houston 'cos everywhere she goes she has her 2 bodyguards with her. Poor eejits.

czechlin · 13-01-2014 02:05PM

I've seen girls doing this and I personally can't stand it. I've been aware of the occasional friend developing a crush on me but if I didn't feel the same way I wouldn't let him act extra nice and totter around me like a fool. That's not what friends do. She enjoys the attention and will use him as long as he'll let her.
If it bothers him as much as you say he should man up, make a move on her and either things will work out the way he wants or at least he'd get a message and move on.

glass_onion · 13-01-2014 02:10PM

Its All Wright wrote: »

My mate has passed up good opportunities with woman on nights out incase it ruins his chances with her, before he met her he wouldnt have taught twice about. I can tell its eating away at him

He will learn the hard way eventually.

Wibbs · 13-01-2014 02:14PM

If he's into her he should tell her. Chances are she already knows but either a) hopes that it'll die off and they can be mates or b) enjoys the attention. If she turns him down, especially if she keeps the lets be friends stuff to the fore he should, in a nice way, delete her from his social circle until such times as his attraction dies down, or ever. The level she objects to this will tell you whether she's from above column a or column b. There's nothing "noble" or "mature" about unrequited love or acting like a simp.

Knex* · 13-01-2014 02:16PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Your friend is a walkover. I have no sympathy for him.

Yeah, spot on really.

Got in a similar scenario a few years back now where I was like the OP's mate in that regard. He'll wake the fuck up soon and realise what a plank he is not going off with anyone else and tip toeing around this girl.

Fella has literally put himself in a rut, by the sounds of it.

The Friend Zone

Comments