What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

Larianne · 09-01-2014 01:56AM

My mam's looking forward to meeting you.

Mint Aero · 09-01-2014 02:00AM

Frankly half the things on this thread are brilliant ice breakers on a date if you've got delivery

WilyCoyote · 09-01-2014 02:36AM

Do you like it like your sister?

Sir Arthur Daley · 09-01-2014 05:32AM

I bet my dick will fit perfectly.

Dr Leech · 09-01-2014 05:41AM

Maybe you're the woman who can finally raise my, err, "Lazarus" from the tomb!

Stop looking either side of me, will ya!

Do you like Daniel O' Donnell?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 09-01-2014 05:46AM

"Let's not turn this rape into a murder.."

Sir Arthur Daley · 09-01-2014 05:47AM

Walkin Talkin Stephen Hawkin wrote: »

"Let's not turn this rape into a murder.."

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

kjl · 09-01-2014 06:16AM

Careful_now! · 09-01-2014 06:57AM

Jawgap wrote: »

Girl: Is it in yet?

I don't know

cruais · 09-01-2014 07:15AM

You're face is like lego...... IN BITS!

cruais · 09-01-2014 07:16AM

Walkin' Talkin' Stephen Hawkin wrote: »

"Let's not turn this rape into a murder.."

Poor form lad...

Daqster · 09-01-2014 07:49AM

Take II

"Oh fcuk, I better take this, it's my g/f".

"Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt, but did. you. see. the. fcuking. tits. on. your. woman!?"

"How come you can eat an animal but yet, go to bed with one and there's something wrong with you!?".

"You're so nice. Isn't it strange the way good looking people are never nice though?".

"Are we gonna, you know, do it? Cause I need to take a pill 45 mins beforehand".

"Ah in fairness now, Gary Glitter did fcuk all wrong".

"I think I should introduce you to.. Salad".

"I really don't think it makes financial sense for Irish people to use condoms anymore now Ryanair flights to the UK are so cheap".

"If my card gets declined.. look surprised".

amber69 · 09-01-2014 07:50AM

'Do you f**k on first dates
and does your dad own a brewery
could I feel your tits
or will you show them to me'

Kevin Bloody Wilson

gramar · 09-01-2014 07:59AM

My name is Larry. Larry Murphy.

stoneill · 09-01-2014 08:01AM

I hope my wife doesn't turn up.

Sir Arthur Daley · 09-01-2014 08:03AM

Does your father own an oil rig because i would love to drill you.

colossus-x · 09-01-2014 09:00AM

My favorite TV show is *Come Dine with Me*.

burnhardlanger · 09-01-2014 11:49AM

"Oh no, I forgot my wallet!"

(when you didn't)

Legs.Eleven · 09-01-2014 12:09PM

burnhardlanger wrote: »

"Oh no, I forgot my wallet!"

(when you didn't)

....unless you're a woman then dinner's on you! Ka-CHING!!

hairycakes · 09-01-2014 12:22PM

So will we ride now or ride later?

IvaBigWun · 09-01-2014 07:58PM

"The Jeremy Kyle Show is really good, really essential TV"

nelly17 · 09-01-2014 08:12PM

Get in the boot

fuerte1976 · 09-01-2014 08:20PM

Little imagination needed here..

(Holding a rag soaked in chloroform behind your back)

'Gotcha'

:cool:

FloatingVoter · 09-01-2014 08:23PM

Not a date (more a pissup) but "We should ****" actually worked out for me once.
Some ladies appreciate honesty.

Larianne · 09-01-2014 08:25PM

"I was Joan of Arc in my former life".

catallus · 09-01-2014 08:25PM

"Thanks for going halves on the dinner, any chance of a lend of 50c so I can get the bus home?"

smcgiff · 09-01-2014 08:30PM

"Shouldn't girls have boobs?"

mewe · 09-01-2014 08:40PM

She puts the lotion on her skin...

Jawgap · 09-01-2014 08:43PM

My advice to anyone heading on a first date, particularly some of the younger chaps, is to recognise that girls like men who are caring and considerate.

After the date has concluded I recommend texting her every 10 to 15 minutes to check she is home ok - this will bring it's own rewards.

Likewise, girls like spontaneity and surprises - calling around to her place at 3am on a weekday night shows you understand this.

Get to know her friends - if you haven't talked for a few days call and spend at least an hour quizzing her on who she's been spending time with.

Find out what time she leaves for work and be there to give her a lift.......every morning - for extra bonus points give her a lift home every evening and for extra extra bonus points show up unexpectedly for a surprise lunch - do this when she is with her friends so they too can see how extra 'special' you are.

.....and remember court injunctions are just her way of showing she cares by talking to strangers about you.....

Larkinage · 09-01-2014 08:46PM

"The things I'd do to you would make Larry Murphy sick"

What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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