What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

Sir Arthur Daley · 07-01-2014 06:18AM

And is it a Massey or John Deere?

osarusan · 07-01-2014 06:28AM

After some witty chat, pause, smile, and say "I think we both know where this is going."

Then suddenly throw your drink in your own face and walk out.

hairyslug · 07-01-2014 06:29AM

Just over 5 years ago I met my wife for the first time.
I had been on a run of bad luck with girls and hhad a string of relationships lasting only 2 or 3 months.
She knew this so I told her I was no longer looking for a girlfriend, just an incubator for my sperm

djflawless · 07-01-2014 06:32AM

Spit on her chest. Tell her you'd "do her"

Roses are red
Violets are twisted
Bend over baby
Your gonna be fisted

Jaysus, you've legs on ya that could kick start a jumbo jet

Vito Corleone · 07-01-2014 06:45AM

You have a big grotesque face. I am not attracted to your face.

Sir Arthur Daley · 07-01-2014 06:48AM

Roses are red
Violets are twisted
Bend over baby
Your gonna be fisted

:eek:

porsche959 · 07-01-2014 07:33AM

IvaBigWun wrote: »

"Hi there. Im an accountant"

"All the voices in my head agree that you are the one for us"

"Oooh your top is lovely, looks great with those shoes and that necklace just sets the whole outfit right off! Where do you shop?"

Reach out, touch her belly gently as you lean in and whisper "soon you shall be plump with my seed"

"Ever read Boards.ie? Well Im IvaBigWun! Wanna see why?"

Over to you ...

"Those immigrants, who do they think they are anyway??"

"You know, I had a lot of time for the PD's until Mary Harney took over."

"Margaret Thatcher, what a sad loss!"

"Any interest in the Satanic Black Metal scene yourself?"

"That Jimmy Savile was very much maligned and misunderstood."

"That Ben Bernanke dude is one cool customer".

Sir Arthur Daley · 07-01-2014 07:44AM

Have you many acres?

Teyla Emmagan · 07-01-2014 09:14AM

I am starting to feel I should never be alone with some of the posters on this thread.

Berteee · 07-01-2014 12:38PM

I've spent a lot of time on first dates, mostly time wasted. Here's what i Do now..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b65Zf6r-RE

IvaBigWun · 07-01-2014 06:40PM

"I have massage oil I brought from Indonesia"

looking_around · 07-01-2014 08:12PM

"I'll cut myself for you"

(that was actually said to me, suffice to say.. I ran far far away)

"I want to marry you"

"How old are you?"

IvaBigWun · 07-01-2014 08:44PM

looking_around wrote: »

"I'll cut myself for you"

(that was actually said to me, suffice to say.. I ran far far away)

:eek:

Paddy Cow · 08-01-2014 07:43PM

looking_around wrote: »

"I want to marry you"

Reminds me of a guy I went out on one date with. He informed me that it's the man's job to work and the woman's to stay at home. He was quite adamant about it too. I asked him how he felt about me working (we were both working in the same hotel at the time) and he said it was fine as I could give it up when I got married. LOL Bless his cotton little socks

Sir Arthur Daley · 08-01-2014 08:12PM

Is it a 2 or 4 wheel drive tractor you drive?

Claw Hammer · 08-01-2014 09:12PM

Ah, you are just back from the jax. Did you have a good sh1te?

amacca · 08-01-2014 09:19PM

Stop talking to me or ill pummel you with my german love sausage.

IvaBigWun · 08-01-2014 10:16PM

"You're bigger than you look through the binoculars"

Morag · 08-01-2014 10:17PM

So yeah like legally I have to tell you before we have another drink encase we get drunk and have sex that, I have herpes. I don't have an out break now, but in like 10 days you break out into a rash or get weeping sores, at least you will know what it is....

You remind me of my sister, Gemma. She'll really hot like you, so don't be surprised if I end up yelling her name if we have sex.

seenitall · 08-01-2014 10:20PM

Morag wrote: »

So yeah like legally I have to tell you before we have another drink encase we get drunk and have sex that, I have herpes. I don't have an out break now, but in like 10 days you break out into a rash or get weeping sores, at least you will know what it is....

Dunno about worst, I'd actually really appreciate being told something like that! A heads-up, as it were.

IvaBigWun · 08-01-2014 10:21PM

"The finger goes in the circle I made with my forefinger and thumb. In and out. See? In and out. See?"

Capt'n Midnight · 08-01-2014 11:01PM

I told her she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.

My girlfriend and I almost didn't have the second date because on the first date I didn't open the car door for her. I just swam to the surface.

Emo Philips

Capt'n Midnight · 08-01-2014 11:08PM

"I'm a great lover, I'll bet."

"You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...
Damn anthropologists."

They call me "Good Time Emo". Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.

"Well, aren't you a saucy sack of estrogen?"

Emo Philips

FudgeBrownie · 08-01-2014 11:17PM

"Do you take laser?"

"Oh right, you're a woman..."

"You kiss just like your dad."

obplayer · 08-01-2014 11:24PM

A first date once informed me that she had just lost her job at nursing home because she had been accused of cruelty to the residents, "and it was just like a nip or a poke or some shouting or little stuff like that".

SV · 08-01-2014 11:25PM

obplayer wrote: »

A first date once informed me that she had just lost her job at nursing home because she had been accused of cruelty to the residents, "and it was just like a nip or a poke or some shouting or little stuff like that".

Holy Jaysus! How did you react!?

That_Guy · 08-01-2014 11:37PM

"Could you close your eyes for a second, I just wanna imagine what you look like unconscious."

obplayer · 08-01-2014 11:44PM

SV wrote: »

Holy Jaysus! How did you react!?

I headed in the general direction of away.

Sir Arthur Daley · 09-01-2014 12:01AM

"You know, I think if your sister can do the reverse cowgirl, then you should be able to too."

The Pheasant2 · 09-01-2014 12:13AM

Look them up and down "So.....how much do you weigh?"

What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

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