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What are the worst things you can say on a first date?

  • 06-01-2014 11:01PM
    #1
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭


    "Hi there. Im an accountant"

    "All the voices in my head agree that you are the one for us"


    "Oooh your top is lovely, looks great with those shoes and that necklace just sets the whole outfit right off! Where do you shop?"


    Reach out, touch her belly gently as you lean in and whisper "soon you shall be plump with my seed"


    "Ever read Boards.ie? Well Im IvaBigWun! Wanna see why?"



    Over to you ...


«1345678

Comments

  • #2
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Jesus you look even prettier than ever tonight .

    You look even more like your sister with the makeup on like that.


  • #3
    cython
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,866 ✭✭✭cython


    Does this smell like chloroform to you?


  • #4
    nibtrix
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭nibtrix


    You don't sweat much for a fat chick


  • #5
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Gonorrhea isn't that bad


  • #6
    Aineoil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Aineoil


    You owe me a pint because when I saw you I dropped mine.


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  • #7
    deise08
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,333 ✭✭✭deise08


    Belch and a few minutes later fart :) and that all from a girl :)


  • #8
    Mr. Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,798 ✭✭✭Mr. Incognito


    Are you into rough sex.....like REALLY rough sex


  • #9
    wazky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,516 ✭✭✭wazky


    You are so petite.

    Perfect for my car boot.


  • #10
    Jawgap
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,296 ✭✭✭✭Jawgap


    Girl: Is it in yet?


  • #11
    B_Rabbit
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,364 ✭✭✭B_Rabbit


    Fcuk, didn't know beer goggles were that strong...


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  • #12
    loveBBhate
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 645 ✭✭✭loveBBhate


    Realistically, talking too much about the ex I suppose.

    But not to be left out... "I'll give ya herpes ya bitch ya" or something along those lines :)


  • #13
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    How'd you like to be buried with my people?


  • #14
    knickerbocker
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 239 ✭✭knickerbocker


    I miss your mother so much.


  • #15
    Rabelais
    Site Banned Posts: 263 ✭✭Rabelais


    Have you road frontage?


  • #16
    loveBBhate
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 645 ✭✭✭loveBBhate


    Jawgap wrote: »
    Girl: Is it in yet?

    *puts it in the other hole. Boy: Now it is!


  • #17
    gerrybbadd
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,301 ✭✭✭✭gerrybbadd


    Nice legs, what time do they open?


  • #18
    Knex*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,475 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    "Wanna play the rape game?"

    "No."

    "That's the spirit!"


  • #19
    .Henry Sellers.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 567 ✭✭✭.Henry Sellers.


    My Mammy would love to meet you.......

    ..hold on and I'll call her over.


  • #20
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    Don't talk about your ex-girlfriend.

    Don't talk about how many children you want or when you wanna get married.


  • #21
    irish_goat
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 5,970 Mod ✭✭✭✭irish_goat


    Don't tell her you have ADD.




    And don't tell her it stands for "A delicious dick".


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  • #22
    IvaBigWun
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,368 ✭✭✭IvaBigWun


    Knex. wrote: »
    "Wanna play the rape game?"

    "No."

    "That's the spirit!"


    I shouldnt laugh but ...


  • #23
    gobnaitolunacy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,073 ✭✭✭gobnaitolunacy


    How's yer belly for a lodger?


  • #24
    roro1990
    Closed Accounts Posts: 317 ✭✭roro1990


    BRB, just goin for a steamy dump


  • #25
    Aineoil
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,358 ✭✭✭Aineoil


    Rabelais wrote: »
    Have you road frontage?

    That's a very serious question.:D

    If I was on a first date one of my first questions would be....." Now tell me how much road frontage do you have?

    Asked in a totally innocent way:D


  • #26
    .Henry Sellers.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 567 ✭✭✭.Henry Sellers.


    "I like the sound of your skin."


  • #27
    preston johnny
    Closed Accounts Posts: 226 ✭✭preston johnny


    'Do any of your family and friends know where you are?'


  • #28
    BillyMitchel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,324 ✭✭✭BillyMitchel


    Years ago I went out with a German and I knew it was going nowhere so I asked what side were her family on during the war.


  • #29
    cython
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,866 ✭✭✭cython


    How loud is that rape whistle/alarm of yours again?


  • #30
    Knex*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,475 ✭✭✭✭Knex*


    Feck, I thought you were the other person in the photo.


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  • #31
    ShadowHearth
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,911 ✭✭✭✭ShadowHearth


    SEX! SEX! Give me SEX! I WANT SEX NOW!!! Please!!!!


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