Is being late for dinner rude?

31-12-2013 09:21PM

People who are habitually late are telling you your time isn't important. It's really selfish and in the case of the OP, shows no respect for the effort she's gone to.

I'd tell them the food is ruined and leave them hungry, whether it is or not.

woodoo · 31-12-2013 10:02PM

I hate it i am extremely punctual. I'm probably too punctual i be there early most times.

dmc17 · 31-12-2013 10:04PM

So............How was dinner OP??????

MilanPan!c · 31-12-2013 10:04PM

donkeyoaty0099 wrote: »

This would drive me mental. I'd have to go just to say I've been to all the states in America. Wouldn't say there's very many who can claim that. Sorry for the thread derail op.

One day I will...

MadsL · 31-12-2013 10:06PM

I always thought the rule was 7 for 7.30.

Show up any time from 7 (7.15 is polite) for dinner starting at 7.30 (usually with drinks.

I have given up eating with guests, way to much hassle - now I chef and serve restaurant style, usefully I have an open kitchen.

Wife can deliver once I've plated, and I can actually make good food instead of overcooking and having to jump up halfway through.

I can plate better this way too...

My pet peeve is people who show up early and then try to socialise with you in the kitchen, and ask questions whilst I'm juggling three gas rings, an oven, and a blowtorch.

woodoo · 31-12-2013 10:14PM

MadsL wrote: »

My pet peeve is people who show up early and then try to socialise with you in the kitchen, and ask questions whilst I'm juggling three gas rings, an oven, and a blowtorch.

Thats me i'm afraid.

Dubl07 · 31-12-2013 10:23PM

I have had a couple of friends who consistently arrive an hour or so late. Their time is more important than anyone else's. Not.

boobar · 31-12-2013 10:39PM

Tardiness is a real head wreck

SuloBulo · 31-12-2013 11:10PM

I hate being late, I hate people who are repeatedly late, and I hate that those repeat offenders justify it by ' u know me,late for my own funeral'... Being late can happen, no issue with genuine reason. Its the repeat offenders do my but in.

Isolt · 31-12-2013 11:13PM

Dying to find out how dinner went......
Come back Witchie!!

dmc17 · 31-12-2013 11:19PM

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Have you considered killing them all?

Witchie wrote: »

I did consider telling them earlier but thought that just this once, since I was making such an effort for them, that they might arrive on time.

Isolt wrote: »

Dying to find out how dinner went......
Come back Witchie!!

Hope the guests aren't dying to find out how it went

anncoates · 31-12-2013 11:41PM

mitosis wrote: »

Your post could be more succinct. You'd have got away with the last four words.

Build up, mate, build up....

Witchie · 01-01-2014 01:32AM

We ate cold starters but rest was grand. The late late friend cried coz she was so sorry. Brought chocs, wine and flowers so all is forgiven but I have learned big time never to rely on her again.

abff · 01-01-2014 01:51AM

Glad it all worked out (relatively) OK in the end. If she's a close friend, let her know at some stage how let down you felt (or maybe point her in the direction of this thread). If she's not that close, then don't invite her to dinner again.

MadsL · 01-01-2014 01:55AM

I have groups of friends that I simply drop the time with all together. We are all on 'burner time' if that means anything to anyone here.

Standard answer to "what time is it?"; "Now".

If you drop the pressure to be there at a certain time then everyone chills.

Consider pot luck suppers instead.

01-01-2014 01:57AM

MadsL wrote: »

I have groups of friends that I simply drop the time with all together. We are all on 'burner time' if that means anything to anyone here.

Standard answer to "what time is it?"; "Now".

If you drop the pressure to be there at a certain time then everyone chills.

Consider pot luck suppers instead.

What happened to being a fancy chef

Aidric · 01-01-2014 01:58AM

MadsL wrote: »

We are all on 'burner time' if that means anything to anyone here.

No it doesn't.

Fox_In_Socks · 01-01-2014 02:12AM

MadsL wrote: »

I have groups of friends that I simply drop the time with all together. We are all on 'burner time' if that means anything to anyone here.

Standard answer to "what time is it?"; "Now".

If you drop the pressure to be there at a certain time then everyone chills.

Consider pot luck suppers instead.

An hour and 12 minutes into the New Year and you've "jumped the Biggins".

tempnam · 01-01-2014 02:16AM

MadsL wrote: »

I have groups of friends that I simply drop the time with all together. We are all on 'burner time' if that means anything to anyone here.

Standard answer to "what time is it?"; "Now".

If you drop the pressure to be there at a certain time then everyone chills.

Consider pot luck suppers instead.

What the fcuk are you on about?

Karl Stein · 01-01-2014 02:36AM

Witchie wrote: »

The late late friend cried coz she was so sorry.

Crying huh? So she becomes the injured party in all this?

Grrrr.. :mad:

woodoo · 01-01-2014 02:39AM

Witchie wrote: »

We ate cold starters but rest was grand. The late late friend cried coz she was so sorry. Brought chocs, wine and flowers so all is forgiven but I have learned big time never to rely on her again.

What were their excuses?

Eeden · 01-01-2014 03:14AM

I think some people have a truly warped sense of time.

I know of a good many people who, if they have to be somewhere at 8:00, genuinely seem to think that if they leave their house at any time before 8:00 they have a good chance of being on time. The actual journey time doesn't come into consideration for some reason.

Years of discovering that this is not true doesn't seem to make any difference to them.

YFlyer · 01-01-2014 03:24AM

Witchie wrote: »

I did consider telling them earlier but thought that just this once, since I was making such an effort for them, that they might arrive on time.

Menu is:

Starter:
Roasted Mediterranean Vegetables and Feta tartlets on a bed of salad

Main:
Vegetable and Cheese Pasta Bake
Chicken fillets stuffed with Pesto, Mozzerella & herbs (bread crumbed coating)
Herby Home Fries

Dessert:

Cinnamon Roll Bread Pudding with Tia Maria Custard
& A Cheese board.

Made everything from scratch bar the cinnamon rolls.

that meal both satisfy the meat eaters and vegetarians. feck them both

Skid X · 01-01-2014 03:28AM

Eeden wrote: »

I think some people have a truly warped sense of time.

I know of a good many people who, if they have to be somewhere at 8:00, genuinely seem to think that if they leave their house at any time before 8:00 they have a good chance of being on time. The actual journey time doesn't come into consideration for some reason.

Years of discovering that this is not true doesn't seem to make any difference to them.

Yes, it's the same people who claim "I'll be there in 10 minutes" when have no chance of making in it less than 30 without breaking the Landspeed record.

Smidge · 01-01-2014 03:31AM

I dont like when people are very late(10/15 mins is ok)when you are meeting in public etc but that is due to not wanting to look foolish in public.

But I dont agree with a lot of this thread.
Sure they were late but one of the TWO people arriving was a carer and lets be honest anything can happen in that situation to delay you.
As for the other person, ok so they were 50 mins or so late.
I mean, I would imagine that these two people were friends of the op's and it was supposed to be an enjoyable evening.
The menu could have easily have been "held over" with tin foil and a low heat.
I have cooked for 30+ on many an occasion and as you would imagine they do not all arrive on time(btw this is in my home and with a regular kitchen etc);)

I just don't get it.
I mean the second girl arrived crying ffs!!
Must have known what she was in for.
I have to say I would never invite people to my home for food if I felt that strongly about a time frame.
I want anyone who comes to my home for an evening of chat/fun/eats to be comfortable and not a blubbering wreck because they were late

If anyone feels so strongly(and the op later posted that "all was forgiven but I would know to never rely on them again"(rely on them for what??? You cooked some food for them and they were that stressed at being late they were crying with fecking flowers!!

Maybe the op wont invite them again due to this but personally I wouldn't want an invitation if it made me a nervous wreck

Stone Deaf 4evr · 01-01-2014 03:32AM

Carlos Roca wrote: »

Crying huh? So she becomes the injured party in all this?

Grrrr.. :mad:

Indeed, the ace card in every woman's arsenal when it comes to arguements.

*prepares for incoming handbag swings.

Karl Stein · 01-01-2014 03:56AM

Stone Deaf 4evr wrote: »

the ace card in every woman's arsenal

I'd say the vast majority of women would be just as annoyed by the 'I'm-crying-therefore-I'm-the-injured-party-despite-the-opposite-being-true' people.

Witchie · 01-01-2014 04:01AM

YFlyer wrote: »

that meal both satisfy the meat eaters and vegetarians. feck them both

I'm the veggie!

Smidge wrote: »

I dont like when people are very late(10/15 mins is ok)when you are meeting in public etc but that is due to not wanting to look foolish in public.

But I dont agree with a lot of this thread.
Sure they were late but one of the TWO people arriving was a carer and lets be honest anything can happen in that situation to delay you.
As for the other person, ok so they were 50 mins or so late.
I mean, I would imagine that these two people were friends of the op's and it was supposed to be an enjoyable evening.
The menu could have easily have been "held over" with tin foil and a low heat.
I have cooked for 30+ on many an occasion and as you would imagine they do not all arrive on time(btw this is in my home and with a regular kitchen etc);)

I just don't get it.
I mean the second girl arrived crying ffs!!
Must have known what she was in for.
I have to say I would never invite people to my home for food if I felt that strongly about a time frame.
I want anyone who comes to my home for an evening of chat/fun/eats to be comfortable and not a blubbering wreck because they were late
If anyone feels so strongly(and the op later posted that "all was forgiven but I would know to never rely on them again"(rely on them for what??? You cooked some food for them and they were that stressed at being late they were crying with fecking flowers!!

Maybe the op wont invite them again due to this but personally I wouldn't want an invitation if it made me a nervous wreck

Whoa! The reason there was a fairly tight time frame was due to the fact that me and late late girl had tickets to a new years party in a pub in town and to have any chance of getting seats we needed to be there around 9. We planned the evening to start at 6 to allow for my carer friend to bring her mum with her in her wheelchair and to give the 2 of them a nice evening before we left them and went to the pub. I felt that 3 hours was a nice time frame to have food, laugh, talk and enjoy ourselves before our friend, who rarely gets to go anywhere, would have to go home.

She cried coz she felt guilty coz she knew all the above. She prob would have brought the flowers, chocs and wine anyway coz I never arrive at her house for a coffee without something similar so for a meal it would be natural for us to do something like that.

I have cooked for 25 people without hassle (actually did a party for my parents of almost 300 people. It wasn't that. It was the fact that we said a time for a reason. I had my timings ready for that. I don't eat meat so for me I want to make sure that my meat is perfect, coz I can't taste it to check so didn't want the chicken ruined.

She wasn't a "blubbering wreck". When she arrived I said the starter was cold but hey she was there now and she teared up coz of guilt.

Her excuse (which is always her excuse!!!) is that someone rang. My aunt rang while I was cooking and I chatted to her and explained the situation. A man arrived to do some work on the house which delayed my having a shower by almost half an hour yet I still managed to get dolled up and have false eyelashes on (which are fuutery as feck to do) yet someone who had nothing to do all day, was in the hairdressers at 3pm and out before 4, can't make my house 5 minutes away by 6? Come off it.

Anyways it was a grand night but I know in future if I intend serving dinner at 6 I will tell her to be at mine for 5.

Smidge · 01-01-2014 04:12AM

Witchie wrote: »

I'm the veggie!

Whoa! The reason there was a fairly tight time frame was due to the fact that me and late late girl had tickets to a new years party in a pub in town and to have any chance of getting seats we needed to be there around 9. We planned the evening to start at 6 to allow for my carer friend to bring her mum with her in her wheelchair and to give the 2 of them a nice evening before we left them and went to the pub. I felt that 3 hours was a nice time frame to have food, laugh, talk and enjoy ourselves before our friend, who rarely gets to go anywhere, would have to go home.

She cried coz she felt guilty coz she knew all the above. She prob would have brought the flowers, chocs and wine anyway coz I never arrive at her house for a coffee without something similar so for a meal it would be natural for us to do something like that.

I have cooked for 25 people without hassle (actually did a party for my parents of almost 300 people. It wasn't that. It was the fact that we said a time for a reason. I had my timings ready for that. I don't eat meat so for me I want to make sure that my meat is perfect, coz I can't taste it to check so didn't want the chicken ruined.

She wasn't a "blubbering wreck". When she arrived I said the starter was cold but hey she was there now and she teared up coz of guilt.

Her excuse (which is always her excuse!!!) is that someone rang. My aunt rang while I was cooking and I chatted to her and explained the situation. A man arrived to do some work on the house which delayed my having a shower by almost half an hour yet I still managed to get dolled up and have false eyelashes on (which are fuutery as feck to do) yet someone who had nothing to do all day, was in the hairdressers at 3pm and out before 4, can't make my house 5 minutes away by 6? Come off it.

Anyways it was a grand night but I know in future if I intend serving dinner at 6 I will tell her to be at mine for 5.

In fairness, you made it out like she was crying(not tearing up) and had brought those things as an apology.
And regardless of what the rest of the evening held(which you omitted from the op)you did seem annoyed enough about them being late(annoyed enough to post about it

).
Look, your evening as you say turned out fine.
I just couldn't see myself getting that het up over my friends being late.

Also, you bring gifts when you gor for a coffee to your friends places?
Really?

Witchie · 01-01-2014 04:18AM

Smidge wrote: »

In fairness, you made it out like she was crying(not tearing up) and had brought those things as an apology.
And regardless of what the rest of the evening held(which you omitted from the op)you did seem annoyed enough about them being late(annoyed enough to post about it ).
Look, your evening as you say turned out fine.
I just couldn't see myself getting that het up over my friends being late.

Also, you bring gifts when you gor for a coffee to your friends places?
Really?

Yeah a packet of bickies or some chocolate or something. Its rude to go to someone's house with one arm as long as the other as me dad would say.

I was upset. I spent hours working on making an enjoyable evening for us all. I hate people being late. If I say I will be somewhere at 6, bar a total catastrophe, I will be there at 5.55 just to be sure. Never 2 early but just a smidge ahead of time to make sure am not late.

I am always let down time wise by both of them but my mate the carer I never get annoyed at coz I understand her situation, the other one has no excuse except being a total slow boat and feeling time doesnt apply to her.

Is being late for dinner rude?

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