The worst thing you got clobbered with

kneemos · 20-12-2013 05:18AM

THE WRATH OF KHAN.

MickeyShtyles · 20-12-2013 07:40AM

Got a whallop off a PZ haybob tine a few weeks back. Chipped my feckin tooth!

Ted_YNWA · 20-12-2013 08:05AM

shantolog wrote: »

I hit my brother in the forehead with a machete once...was chopping some firewood when he walked behind me as quiet as a ninja once..BAMMM...eh...sorry lets get that checked out...

Did a similar thing to myself. Was chopping sticks with an axe, on the upswing the business end came off the handle and burst me on the shoulder. Was lucky it wasn't a few inches to the right.
There was a few strong swings once the head was put back on the axe.

20-12-2013 08:41AM

Golf club to the eye from my cousin when I was 13 or 14. He decided to start pretending he was a helicopter with the thing.

Then a plastic bag filled with full beer cans, was attacked randomly by a bunch of skangers when I was 17, apparently they spent the next few minutes kicking me in the head while I was knocked out on the ground. Was lucky to come away with that without permanent brain damage. Sorry for bringing a downer on the thread

preston johnny · 20-12-2013 08:44AM

Clobbered at school with various items, Belts,Canes,Rulers, Blackboard dusters,bunches of keys etc etc. Yeah them Christian brothers were really nice...............my only blesssing was I didn't get a cock up my arse

systemicrisk · 20-12-2013 08:54AM

One of those springy branches from a tree. God damn they stung.

caustic 1 · 20-12-2013 09:02AM

Fathers fist.

Captain Farrell · 20-12-2013 09:02AM

ITT Irish parents are violent and abusive.

I find it unbelievable that any of you were hit with objects. It's disgusting. Worst I had was six smacks on the arse from my grandad for calling him a bastard for not letting me play out in the rain.

Turtyturd · 20-12-2013 09:05AM

Got a ruler across the knuckles in primary school...this wasn't a Christian brothers school, but at the hands of some farmers daughter from the a*sehole of nowhere who had no business teaching kids, and it was the early 90's...my parents had no issue with it, assholes.

It also inspired the kids in the class to do it to each other but rather than using the ruler flat we turned it on it's side, hitting the unsuspecting victim across the knuckles when the teachers back was turned, then trying to contain the laughter when she turned around to find out what was going on.

Terry Wogans Inner Thigh · 20-12-2013 09:06AM

Coal shovel and sally rod. For various terrible crime I committed under the age of 12.

Gannicus · 20-12-2013 09:17AM

When I was a kid I got a smack of a 9 iron, I was standing behind me mate talking to one of the other lads and got hit by me mate in the up swing.

In August this year I clobbered myself with a quad bike at about 40mph going around a corner and broke me collar bone and some ribs.

SuperGrover · 20-12-2013 10:10AM

Hand over pocket on snooker table while distracted - 'funny' mate - white snooker ball at high velocity - broken finger - hospital

IK09 · 20-12-2013 10:23AM

The meter stick
Link for those you who dont know them.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Lamintated-Wooden-Yard-Stick-Meter-Ruler-Rule-Yardstick-Rule-Inches-MM-3007-/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/$T2eC16NHJGIE9nnWpUn%29BP6t5!F!ig~~60_35.JPG

Professey Chin · 20-12-2013 10:29AM

IK09 wrote: »

The meter stick
Link for those you who dont know them.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Lamintated-Wooden-Yard-Stick-Meter-Ruler-Rule-Yardstick-Rule-Inches-MM-3007-/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/$T2eC16NHJGIE9nnWpUn%29BP6t5!F!ig~~60_35.JPG

Ohhhh I remember a few whacks off that

Billy86 · 20-12-2013 10:35AM

Temptamperu wrote: »

Got a slap of mayonnaise at a party I passed out in.

I'm... not quite sure that was mayonnaise.

Professey Chin · 20-12-2013 10:37AM

Billy86 wrote: »

I'm... not quite sure that was mayonnaise.

At least it was probably fresh

SEPT 23 1989 · 20-12-2013 10:43AM

my aul lad threw a breakfast bowl frisbee style at my head from across the room

Chris_Heilong · 20-12-2013 03:59PM

I almost forgot, When I was 10 years old new glass was installed in my backdoor with fresh putty, I must have slammed the door shut because the whole sheet came out of the door and smashed on my back, I was actually alright but lied to my parents and told them someone had thrown a rock trough the glass so I did not get into trouble.

something fishy going on · 20-12-2013 04:09PM

A belt of a curtain pole for smashing glass in the green house never forget it

bodhrandude · 20-12-2013 04:27PM

I got hit by a fecking gazebo at Life festival in 2008, there was a bit of up wind in the camp site and someone hadn't secured their gazebo, so the thing was lifted by the wind and crashed on top of my head. What a way to start a festival. I got many a whacking from the mother when I was a kid with the sally rod, we used to try and find the thing and hide it, but the mother would just make a fresh one heh heh.

Tom · 20-12-2013 04:47PM

Chris_Heilong wrote: »

I almost forgot, When I was 10 years old new glass was installed in my backdoor with fresh putty,

I'm sorry, but this made me laugh out loud - getting giddy before the weekend.

20-12-2013 04:50PM

Nothing deliberately, jaysus

Landed on my head on concrete after tripping before
Yes, it explains a lot :pac:

Auldloon · 20-12-2013 05:02PM

A double-barrelled shotgun! Dad was cleaning it when I walked in. He'd been waiting for me. Wallop!

artanevilla · 20-12-2013 05:03PM

Got a belt of a hammer for not doing my homework.

Billy86 · 20-12-2013 05:04PM

bluewolf wrote: »

Nothing deliberately, jaysus

Landed on my head on concrete after tripping before
Yes, it explains a lot :pac:

On that note, I mangled my knee when I was younger by running full-pelt into a parked car... and sadly no, I can't claim it was some dare or stupid Jackass re-enactment. A parked car, and somehow I just didn't see it!

superelliptic · 20-12-2013 05:05PM

Auldloon wrote: »

A double-barrelled shotgun! Dad was cleaning it when I walked in. He'd been waiting for me. Wallop!

Whaa? Do not get...

He hit you with it?

rainbowdrop · 20-12-2013 05:13PM

IK09 wrote: »

The meter stick
Link for those you who dont know them.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Lamintated-Wooden-Yard-Stick-Meter-Ruler-Rule-Yardstick-Rule-Inches-MM-3007-/00/s/MTIwMFgxNjAw/$T2eC16NHJGIE9nnWpUn%29BP6t5!F!ig~~60_35.JPG

I remember back in the olden days, out physics teacher in school giving out about something or other and shaking one of those around to emphasise his point. He walloped the meter rule off the desk so hard it snapped; half of it flew backwards into the teachers face, snapping his glasses in half.

That was, without a shadow of a doubt, the funniest moment of my school-going career

miamee · 20-12-2013 05:15PM

Stabbed in the hand with a compass by a boy in school while we were mess fighting (yeah, I was mad about him, lol)

Stabbed in the finger by the scissors in a Swiss Army knife by my friend's younger brother :mad:

Some oul wan tried to clobber me with her handbag for no reason in town recently, does that count?

Plazaman · 20-12-2013 05:20PM

An elderly Germans penis.

Long story short, on holidays see a bar on beach, buy beer, did not realise it was a nudist beach (it was quiet, no signs), sit on step of bar with beer, eldery German lad appears from out of nowhere and slaps his knob of the back of my head (probably on purpose as a way to say fúck off clothes boy). :mad:

Kippure · 20-12-2013 05:24PM

Got a bang of Shovel once, Knocked the fu## out.:D

The worst thing you got clobbered with

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