Ever have one of those "Oh, that was close moments"

Nippledragon · 14-12-2013 01:48AM

I was wiping me hole and me finger went through the bog roll and there was a lump of sweetcorn on the tissue and I thought oh that was close.....wait, are we on about iPhones?

Mint Aero · 14-12-2013 01:49AM

Was taking a selfie for facebook cos I JUST KNOW MY FRIENDS LOVE MY DUCK FACE. However since I'm like so RaNdOM!, this picture remained on my phone for 3 months. In the mean time I bought a new iPhone 5s and before selling my ****ty Samsung (that seemed utterly better in spec but people didn't talk about it as much, hence why I was selling it) I came across the selfie and uploaded it before deleting.

Well, it was a hairy tuesday morning and I was in the scratcher before going to collect the scratcher. I went to my brand new like totes OMFG amazeballs iPhone 5s but luckily I came to my senses and canceled the page load for facebook just in time.

Drove 18 miles to my nearest library. Logged into facebook and deleted the selfie. Went home and made anal love to my iPhone 5s. Like OMFG, you could see the f**cking Samsung in the selfie! What if I had logged in and my iPhone 5s saw that too and it was uploaded after I'd gotten my iPhone 5s! That was a close one, phew!

The Backwards Man · 14-12-2013 01:49AM

I have a samsung thingy.

The One Who Knocks · 14-12-2013 01:51AM

Dropped an iPhone C on my floor, completely smashed the screen.

Thankfully the floor was fine, phew close one!

SimonTemplar · 14-12-2013 01:53AM

I sit near a guy in work who can really only be described as a "crazy bastard". He annoys most people on the team and as a kinda stress relief, other team members occasionally email each other about him to let off steam. A few days ago I wrote a fairly bitchy email about him and when I moved my mouse over "Send" I released I put his name in the To field. Another second and it would have been gone.

wil · 14-12-2013 01:57AM

Knew a guy who got shot at by a drunken yob. Pointed the gun straight at him as he walked down the street. Luckily he was carrying a new iPhone 5s in his shirt pocket.
.
.
.
Because if it in was in his jeans pocket, the bullet probably wouldn't have severed the femoral artery in his groin and I wouldn't have got this nearly new slightly blooddamaged but otherwise perfect iphone 5s
.
..Didn't really 'appen
.

darlett · 14-12-2013 02:12AM

barone wrote: »

a few farts have felt that way

Recently I had a bad old dose of diarrhoea, and while out and about I did a fart despite my best efforts. I thought whoa that was close. But unfortunately, closer inspection afterwards revealed I had actually proper shat myself which was disappointing.

Dave H · 14-12-2013 02:24AM

The One Who Knocks wrote: »

Why, did your iphone 5s nearly slip out of your hand?

Worse, they could have answered

certifiedcrepe · 14-12-2013 08:06AM

Usually right before the guy collapses on top of me and says "that was great babe".

stoneill · 14-12-2013 08:38AM

I was in a car that skidded on ice and went up an embankment and flipped over onto it's roof.
Luckily there was no iPhone in the car that could get damaged.

Sunnyisland · 14-12-2013 09:45AM

A close call :P

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating.

The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up and she’s going out with the girls a lot.

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on... It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... A "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket...

Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

foxinsox · 14-12-2013 09:50AM

realies wrote: »

A close call :P

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating.

The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up and she’s going out with the girls a lot.

I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat, when she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on... It was at that moment crouched behind the boat I noticed... A "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket...

Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

Have you got an i Phone?

I haven't, but there is an app for welding outboard mounting brackets on it.

;-)

Sunnyisland · 14-12-2013 09:54AM

foxinsox wrote: »

Have you got an i Phone?

I haven't, but there is an app for welding outboard mounting brackets on it.

;-)

No, just an iPad am I in the gang

:D

Howard Juneau · 14-12-2013 10:05AM

realies wrote: »

No, just an iPad am I in the gang :D

An iPad?! That's! why your missus is playing away from home!

Birneybau · 14-12-2013 10:42AM

I was nearly turned away from Krystal in Dublin last night. I felt terrible about it but it had to be said: "Don't you know what I own?"

On producing my iPhone 5s I was whisked right to the V.I.P. (very important phone) section, kept well away from the scummy Samsung crowd.

MonstaMash · 14-12-2013 10:55AM

Frequently...try riding a motorcycle in Dublin with some of the fookwits out there on the roads :mad:

whupdedo · 14-12-2013 11:15AM

MonstaMash wrote: »

Frequently...try riding a motorcycle in Dublin with some of the fookwits out there on the roads :mad:

That bears absolutely no relevance to this thread about near misses with the iphone 5, unless you had an i phone 5 on the bike with you

krudler · 14-12-2013 11:16AM

I had a nightmare that I owned an iphone 5 but woke up in a blind panic and reached over to find my iphone 5s resting beside me, I cradled it all night.

MonstaMash · 14-12-2013 11:18AM

whupdedo wrote: »

That bears absolutely no relevance to this thread about near misses with the iphone 5, unless you had an i phone 5 on the bike with you

Read the title of the thread...Ever have one of those "Oh, that was close moments" :rolleyes:

It seems to have evolved into an iphone 5 thread, Mr. Back-seat moderator :P

whupdedo · 14-12-2013 11:21AM

MonstaMash wrote: »

Read the title of the thread...Ever have one of those "Oh, that was close moments" :rolleyes:

It seems to have evolved into an iphone 5 thread, Mr. Back-seat moderator :P

The people have voted, its an iphone 5 thread and that's that:D

Howard Juneau · 14-12-2013 12:07PM

whupdedo wrote: »

The people have voted, its an iphone 5 thread and that's that:D

As long as people don't vote on iPhones t'is grand!

antodeco · 15-12-2013 01:11AM

I think this should be moved to the Apple Media forum

camel jockey · 15-12-2013 01:13AM

Thinly veiled I have a new iPhone 5S thread?

wil · 15-12-2013 01:14AM

antodeco wrote: »

I think this should be moved to the Apple Media forum

Genius

Guffy · 15-12-2013 01:18AM

Was crossing lanes in slow traffic on the bike. Car pushed back wheel but fortunately didn't go down. Hmm I phone 5 hadn't been released then though so could a mod move if in wrong thread?

camel jockey · 15-12-2013 01:27AM

Crossing the road in the city centre at a green pedestrian light and almost being hit by cyclists ignoring the red light. Also cyclists going the wrong way on one way street. Also cyclists cycling on the footpath.

johnROSS · 15-12-2013 01:36AM

I started a thread on an online forum to brag about my wonderful new Iphone 5s, and when i was typing the post i almost left out the 's'! Can you believe that, I almost said i had an Iphone 5! Phew, that was close.

LETHAL LADY · 15-12-2013 01:39AM

A hot summers day a few years ago and my husband was driving me and the kids to the shops to get ice-cream to cool us down. Turns out there was a biker rally going on in a nearby village that evening and the roads were busy with biker folk.
As our car came towards the local park, which is on the main route through the town and there is a slight bend but you can see oncoming traffic for about 200 metres, we could see this chap speeding towards on a big powerful bike.
Just as both vehicles were about to meet he lost control of the bike and spun sideways towards the front wheels of the car. I braced myself for the crunch of his body under the wheels but luck was on that mans side that night and he appeared jumping and running to safety right beside the driver window.
My husband stopped the car to see if he was alright and the chap was more concerned about the **** he made of his bike.
Ride to live, live to ride.

Baked.noodle · 15-12-2013 01:41AM

My dad has a barge on the Shannon. Had a few close calls over the years, but the one incident that stands out was jumping with a rope to the jetty as the nose of the boat moved out from the bank. I picked up the rope, estimated the distance and jumped... the tiptoes of my feet landed on the jetty while I waved my arms around to regain my balance. That was close. Last summer we were all boozing on the boat when a friend of mine did the same thing except he fell in and was nearly squashed by the barge closing in. Booze and boats shouldn't mix.

Sir Osis of Liver. · 15-12-2013 01:48AM

Ever have one of those "Oh, that was close moments"

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