Surrealistic Ireland.

Dyr · 22-11-2013 05:24PM

kowloon wrote: »

On that topic, I love when this happens:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DMJ3SGlzk

In some shoitehole of a night club up in bundoran that had pole dancer /go go dancers types and at the end of the night the national anthem comes on and they stood to attention in their hot pants with their hands behind their backs.

poundapunnet · 22-11-2013 05:35PM

Not surreal but feckin typical, went up to the kitchen there and my mother arrived back from the village

Her: I just saw [local man who's been away travelling for a year] standing outside the shop smoking a fag

Me: Oh right

Her: He got back to Shannon last night and Maria picked him up

Me: Mmm

Her: Big red jumper on him.

And then we just stood there looking at each other, me waiting for the rest of the story and her waiting for my reaction to what was, apparently, the whole story. Bear in mind I've never talked to either of the people in the story, only know them to see.

Kirby · 22-11-2013 05:37PM

smurgen wrote: »

A bunch of youngfellas about 18 ran out of nowhere and started fighting a bunch of fellas in their 60's! I've never seen anything like it..The old fellas all had on beards and cardigans, the youngones were dressed like mannequins out of River Island,it was like one direction fighting the Dubliners.The old fellas absolutley battering them and out of nowhere a guy in a dracula costume ran across the road smoking a fag and took out about 5 people,completley cleared house and the fight just dispersed. It went on for about 5 mins, blocked traffic and all. The way they came from opposite directions and had such hatred for each other, it was like the fight seen out of Anchorman!

Post of the year, right here. I haven't laughed like that in ages.

One direction fighting the Dubliners and then Dracula swoops in to whoop ass. The imagery.

smurgen · 22-11-2013 05:47PM

Kirby wrote: »

Post of the year, right here. I haven't laughed like that in ages.

One direction fighting the Dubliners and then Dracula swoops in to whoop ass. The imagery.

To be fair, the Dubliners v One Direction was my cousin's description! I thought I was going to throw up I was laughing so hard.

magicmushroom · 22-11-2013 05:48PM

poundapunnet wrote: »

Not surreal but feckin typical, went up to the kitchen there and my mother arrived back from the village

Her: I just saw [local man who's been away travelling for a year] standing outside the shop smoking a fag

Me: Oh right

Her: He got back to Shannon last night and Maria picked him up

Me: Mmm

Her: Big red jumper on him.

And then we just stood there looking at each other, me waiting for the rest of the story and her waiting for my reaction to what was, apparently, the whole story. Bear in mind I've never talked to either of the people in the story, only know them to see.

Big red jumper on him, hahahaha your posts crack me up

alchemist33 · 22-11-2013 05:52PM

When i was a student in Dublin, I was getting my takeaway (Forte's, Glasnevin) when an old man came in with an empty two litre bottle. The guy behind the counter filled it with vinegar, and the old guy left.

"Vinegar junkie" was all I was told afterwards.

e_e · 22-11-2013 07:06PM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-N9LqLgkh-I

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_oJHPk5y6gM

spitfireIRL · 22-11-2013 07:38PM

^ That swan video is the funniest thing I've seen in ages!! Brilliant!

e_e · 22-11-2013 08:23PM

spitfireIRL wrote: »

^ That swan video is the funniest thing I've seen in ages!! Brilliant!

The most surreal part for me is the van that drives by at 0:07 in the second video. Mad stuff!

22-11-2013 08:26PM

A few years ago there was a hand-written sign stuck on a telephone pole on the road near my house.
"BROADBAND NOW AVAILABLE, CALL JIMMY ON <mobile number>"
It mightn't have been Jimmy but it was definitely a farmer-ish name anyway.

Call Me Jimmy · 22-11-2013 08:38PM

Hah it wasn't Pa Joe by any chance? I remember being in some bogger-town and that was the name of the local grocery, 'Pa Joe's'. Strangely paternal

shannonman81 · 22-11-2013 09:26PM

Walking to college in Dublin one day when I was accosted by a Junkie who was convinced I was going to buy his shoes...
It was the middle of December and it was freezing and he was roaring that they were "practically new bud"
Stood there in his socks..calling after me as I walked away...he then vomited...

spankysue · 22-11-2013 09:49PM

I was walking to work one morning at about half eight and saw a fella asleep on a bicycle in a ditch at the side of the road. It looked as if he just fell sideways against the ditch on the way home and thought "fcuk it, this'll do".

Teyla Emmagan · 22-11-2013 10:24PM

I was at this parish fete in Achill once. They had a 'golf course' outside where they'd literally thrown a few dozen feet of carpet down on the bog and cut a few holes in it. Flags and all. It was the maddest (and most rubbish) thing I've ever seen.

Capt'n Midnight · 22-11-2013 10:25PM

'I hereby bet Tony Hawks the sum of One Hundred Pounds that he cannot hitchhike round the circumference of Ireland, with a fridge, within one calendar month'

http://www.tony-hawks.com/books.php?id=1

Whilst in Ireland for an International Song Competition, Tony Hawks was amazed to see a hitch-hiker, trying to thumb a lift, but with a fridge. This seemed amazingly optimistic - his Irish friends, however, thought nothing of it at all. "I had clearly arrived in a country", writes Tony, "where the qualification for ‘eccentric’ involved a great deal more than that to which I had become used". Years pass... but the fridge incident haunts our author.

poundapunnet · 22-11-2013 10:27PM

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

I was at this parish fete in Achill once. They had a 'golf course' outside where they'd literally thrown a few dozen feet of carpet down on the bog and cut a few holes in it. Flags and all. It was the maddest (and most rubbish) thing I've ever seen.

I was at a mini-golf place in Kerry that had a few side-show attractions including "Ireland's shortest cow". This thread is bringing back all sorts of memories I'd suppressed :pac:

Precious flower · 22-11-2013 10:34PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

A Burco (large water boiler for catering purposes rather than a kettle) full of water outside a church in County Kerry with a piece of copybook paper sellotaped to it with "Holy water" handwritten on it.

And back in the early '90s, a Macra in North Cork held a "disco" and to "replicate" the effect of disco lighting, the ordinary bulbs were covered in sweet wrappers and switched on and off.

Father Ted isn't even an exaggeration a lot of the time.

Reminds of mass one Christmas where the holy water all was in a big black bin! :pac:

BeepBeep67 · 22-11-2013 11:18PM

I was in Liscannor years ago and there was a shop (Kay Barry's or something like that), so I was buying a few snacks and then realised I needed stamp also, so I requested one. I was told I had to buy that from the post office. So she gave me my change, stepped to the left where there was a small dividing partition on the counter and said is it for a letter or a postcard :pac:

Legs.Eleven · 23-11-2013 10:39AM

BeepBeep67 wrote: »

I was in Liscannor years ago and there was a shop (Kay Barry's or something like that), so I was buying a few snacks and then realised I needed stamp also, so I requested one. I was told I had to buy that from the post office. So she gave me my change, stepped to the left where there was a small dividing partition on the counter and said is it for a letter or a postcard :pac:

Piddling myself laughing here. Hahahaha.

More stories please!!

Geansai Rua · 23-11-2013 11:03AM

magicmushroom wrote: »

Big red jumper on him, hahahaha your posts crack me up

You called?

Oranage2 · 23-11-2013 11:45AM

Was in the welcome in on Parnell street Dublin. Got a couple of pints,finished so went to bar but the bar man wasn't there waited a bit but he still wasn't coming back so we left to the Dublin pub next door, the bar man was in there playing the fruit machine.

robindch · 23-11-2013 11:51AM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

'What time is closing time here?'
'It depends'.

Out on Cape Clear in West Cork, about 11pm on a long summers evening:

Tourist: When's the bar closing?
Barman: Mid-September.

rainbowdrop · 23-11-2013 12:24PM

Crashed my car a few years ago. Nothing serious, but had to get it fixed through my insurance.

It worked out pure handy that I did'nt have to bother ringing the insurance crowd to inform them what had happened, as one of the firemen who attended the accident was also my insurance broker.

A few days later, and I still don't have my car back. I need to go food shopping so I ring a taxi, and guess who's driving it? Yep, the same fella!!

Only in Ireland would the same man be your local fireman/ insurance man / taximan!!

Also, I'v regularly seen sheep, goats and calves transported on the back seat of a car on mart day, nobody bats an eyelid!

ruthloss · 23-11-2013 01:41PM

Camels and Llamas grazing in a field beside Aldi in Naas a few weeks ago.

(turns out the Circus was in town)

MonstaMash · 23-11-2013 05:12PM

Top of the range, brand new Mercedes Benz with a roof-rack & bales of hay on it...

Grayson · 23-11-2013 06:14PM

http://chooseireland.com/westmeath/seven-wonders-of-fore/

Straight out of father ted.

The water that runs uphill is actually a stream that disappears underground. A bit further on there's a stream that comes out of the ground. It's a little bit higher up. Adding 2 and 2 you deduce that it must have been the same stream and it must have gone uphill. Therefore it's a miracle.

The tree that doesn't burn is a log sticking out of the ground. It's very soggy ground. And for some reason people keep hammering money into it.

Grayson · 23-11-2013 06:16PM

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Crashed my car a few years ago. Nothing serious, but had to get it fixed through my insurance.

It worked out pure handy that I did'nt have to bother ringing the insurance crowd to inform them what had happened, as one of the firemen who attended the accident was also my insurance broker.

A few days later, and I still don't have my car back. I need to go food shopping so I ring a taxi, and guess who's driving it? Yep, the same fella!!

Only in Ireland would the same man be your local fireman/ insurance man / taximan!!

Also, I'v regularly seen sheep, goats and calves transported on the back seat of a car on mart day, nobody bats an eyelid!

When my dad died the undertaker was a taxi driver. A few years befor he'd given someone in my family both his business cards when they got a taxi home after a night on the drink. They'd kept them since the same number is on each and you never know when you might need the number of a cab firm.

[-0-] · 23-11-2013 06:34PM

My uncle brought me to the Aran Islands when I was 18. We stayed in a B&B there. The house next to the B&B had converted their kitchen into a bar so we went in. There's a few auld lads with paddy caps standing around, old tweed jackets on them and they give us 'the look' when we walk in. We get two pints of Guinness (nicest pint I've ever had). We go outside and my uncle lights up a fag, and a guy comes over to us. Some auld lad, would have fit in well in Father Ted. "D'ya like Connemara ponies? I'll sell ya one. 100 pound". Trying not to laugh at him I politely say no I'm not interested in ponies, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. He goes up the stairs in the house and comes down with a feckin' pony. My uncle walks away so he can break his hole laughing without being insulting and I'm fighting the tears like. "His name is George and he loves carrots. Go on sure, 100 pound! Don't upset George". Why the feck was a pony upstairs in the house?

Some weekend that was.

wexie · 23-11-2013 06:43PM

[-0-] wrote: »

. Why the feck was a pony upstairs in the house?
.

Shure where else would you keep it?
Downstairs it would only worry the sheep?

pffft....city folk :rolleyes:

BeepBeep67 · 23-11-2013 08:15PM

BeepBeep67 wrote: »

I was in Liscannor years ago and there was a shop (Kay Barry's or something like that), so I was buying a few snacks and then realised I needed stamp also, so I requested one. I was told I had to buy that from the post office. So she gave me my change, stepped to the left where there was a small dividing partition on the counter and said is it for a letter or a postcard :pac:

Just had to have a nose on Google maps, the shop is still there, at least when it was mapped. K Barry Grocery, Fancy goods - Ha!

Surrealistic Ireland.

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