Surrealistic Ireland.

Call Me Jimmy · 21-11-2013 11:47PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Ooooh I'll give you a lesson alright! I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget!! :mad::)

sAUCAY

wandatowell · 21-11-2013 11:47PM

This bloody thread is surreal.

AnonoBoy · 21-11-2013 11:48PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Ooooh I'll give you a lesson alright! I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget!! :mad::)

Awesome! Should I bring my own organ with me or will you provide me with an organ?

It's an organ lesson isn't it?

Legs.Eleven · 21-11-2013 11:54PM

AnonoBoy wrote: »

Awesome! Should I bring my own organ with me or will you provide me with an organ?

It's an organ lesson isn't it?

Oh it's an "organ" lesson alright. Make sure you bring yourrr "organ" along (if ye get me

). I'll show you my "organ" if you show me yours....

I'll organ you good 'n' proper...

colossus-x · 22-11-2013 12:56AM

On a Bus 'theme' I was taking a bus from Blanchardstown shopping center to the city center when a drunken immigrant chatted to people who eventually came to me to chat. He wasn't happy with my lack of communication ( not that I said anything antagonistic to him ) he got the hump and in the seat in front of me he started to unbutton his fly and said he was going to piss on me at which point I darted downstairs to the drive and informed him off the situation. I decided to get off the bus noting the drivers disinterest. Hi opening the doors not at a bus stop, I got out. He closed the doors and then suddenly opened them again to let the same drunk follow me on the street by the hay-penny bridge allowing him to harass me further. Thanks bus driver.

Okay that's a nutter but what I really object to is the amount of bummers that virtually live on the lovely o'connel st day and night in Dublin city and also on the boardwalk. I'm perpetually stunned that noting is ever done to clean up the streets. It's utterly disgraceful. I love to walk around Dublin city center and they spoil it horribly for me and I guess also for tourists/visitors/natives etc. I have seen Garda taking a much more lenient approach to the antics I've seen on the street where as I as a non-bummer type would be treated far more severely. I'm not blaming the Garda, but the impotent policy of not dealing with something that destroys a city that I really love very much really ticks me off.

Femme_Fatale · 22-11-2013 01:42AM

A Burco (large water boiler for catering purposes rather than a kettle) full of water outside a church in County Kerry with a piece of copybook paper sellotaped to it with "Holy water" handwritten on it.

And back in the early '90s, a Macra in North Cork held a "disco" and to "replicate" the effect of disco lighting, the ordinary bulbs were covered in sweet wrappers and switched on and off.

Father Ted isn't even an exaggeration a lot of the time.

Mint Aero · 22-11-2013 02:15AM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

And back in the early '90s, a Macra in North Cork held a "disco" and to "replicate" the effect of disco lighting, the ordinary bulbs were covered in sweet wrappers and switched on and off.

Father Ted isn't even an exaggeration a lot of the time.

Please tell me some poor sap stood by the switch flicking them on and off all night?

bodhrandude · 22-11-2013 02:16AM

All this talk of Lisdoonvarna, I had a mate who lived in the outskirts and we were in having a bevy one night, I had my bodhran and he recommended I check out the Roadside Tavern as sometimes the Donegal fiddler Tommy Peoples was known to play in there, now I'm talking mid-1990s as i don't even know if it still exists. Anyway the night I went there a concertina player called Tommy McCarthy had just passed away and this crazy session was being held as a sort of wake. Boy was there some crazy hairy characters in there that night. Clare has some crazy pub characters and Galway is not too far behind there either. Fun nights, surreal for sure.

poundapunnet · 22-11-2013 02:23AM

bodhrandude wrote: »

All this talk of Lisdoonvarna, I had a mate who lived in the outskirts and we were in having a bevy one night, I had my bodhran and he recommended I check out the Roadside Tavern as sometimes the Donegal fiddler Tommy Peoples was known to play in there, now I'm talking mid-1990s as i don't even know if it still exists. Anyway the night I went there a concertina player called Tommy McCarthy had just passed away and this crazy session was being held as a sort of wake. Boy was there some crazy hairy characters in there that night. Clare has some crazy pub characters and Galway is not too far behind there either. Fun nights, surreal for sure.

It's still there, has a small micro-brewery going now and it's also the base of the local Tolkien appreciation society :pac:

cantdecide · 22-11-2013 02:34AM

IceFjoem wrote: »

Was on a packed bus coming home from college one cold wet winter's evening. Up on the top deck, people were wet and miserable, two 'boysh' at the back of the bus had guitars and started singing Wonderwall, I can't stand the song but everyone started singing! It was amazing, seemed to cheer everyone up, I'll never forget it!

Was in Galway at the weekend and there was a busker that seemed a little bit too long in the tooth to be hacking away. We quickly realised that he had literally one song- Wonderwall. As we walked around, we heard him sing it, and nothing else, on three different occasions over an hour.

After the final onslaught, we walked up the street and saw a pair of younger but somewhat more seasoned buskers. As we pass by, they finish one well performed number and just as I start to think to myself 'I know that chord progression' they start singing "Today is gonna be the day that....".

'Pinch me', I thought to myself.

prettygurrly wrote: »

I love those random heart to hearts you have on the bus with someone you'll never see again...sets the world to rights...or at least whatever was troubling you - the original method of pouring your heart anonymously before the internet got here.

PLEASE GOD you never see them again!! Sharing a sweet and tender moment with a stranger is grand. Seeing them every day would eventually become totes awks like

mojesius · 22-11-2013 07:57AM

Me and the boyfriend spent a few days in Connemara last year (love it there). We went to Cong one afternoon and went into a pub for a bit of lunch and there were only three drunken aulfellas at the bar.

We ordered lunch and sat in front of the fire. The aulfellas started singing incoherent Irish ballads and dancing around a bit, literally like something out of the Quiet Man. One of them came over and started chatting to us, while playing with my hair: "You've got a lovely head of hair on ya like a pony", he says.

We humoured him for around 5 minutes before my boyfriend started getting pissed off and the barman finally intervened and said "Jaysus would ye leave the poor girl alone to eat her lunch, she's not a feckin pony!"

He was harmless but it was very funny. As my boyfriend said, he was probably a poor aul lonely farmer who probably hadn't seen a woman in months.

Either that, or he enjoyed harassing every tourist who came in the doors!

Overflow · 22-11-2013 10:38AM

Was in Limerick for a job interview. On the bus back to Dublin, some absolute scumbag woman and her partner get on the bus with their billion (cigarette and booze voucher) kids.

About 30 mins into the trip, one of the little kids starts moaning that she needs to go for a pee. The bus was jammers and everyone could hear everything they were saying. So this wonderful example of a mother forces her reluctant child to take a piss on the steps of the back exit of the bus, cursing and shouting at her and surrounded by shocked passengers. That was a bit surreal, the poor child !

diomed · 22-11-2013 11:19AM

Women driving large off-road vehicles in Dublin. Deluded.

murria · 22-11-2013 11:42AM

Years ago on a weekend to Wexford with the boyfriend (now husband of many years), stopped at the only petrol pump in the village at about two in the afternoon. There was a cardboard sign on the pump that said "knock at pub for petrol" so we did. The door was answered by a man with a big bed head who asked if we wanted beer or petrol, we must have paused with indecision for a moment as before we could answer he said "sure, come in and have a pint while I fill her up".

WilyCoyote · 22-11-2013 11:45AM

wprathead wrote: »

A man rowing a boat of inis boffin... with a donkey in the boat..

Donkey Boat eh?

e_e · 22-11-2013 11:52AM

Man in the back of the 145 loudly singing Old Man River, pouring his heart and soul into it.

gobnaitolunacy · 22-11-2013 01:11PM

A woman who dressed her offspring as a jumbo breakfast roll for a St Patrick's Day parade in Bantry.

smurgen · 22-11-2013 02:23PM

I have loads but two spring straight away :
one was when me and my friend were driving by Dingle and completly lost in the middle of the day. Came down a long straight road and seen this aul fella with a hat and old tweed suit standing with a fox perched perfectly on his shoulder. Two of us looked at em with our mouths open in amazement and the man and the fox looked at us as we passed them slowly. It was like the four of us were in a trance!

the second is a fight i seen in Cork on the jazz weekend. Me and a couple of friends were drinking outside the Raven on North Main Street , which is a busy junction with alot of traffic, pedestrians and pubs/ chippers. A bunch of youngfellas about 18 ran out of nowhere and started fighting a bunch of fellas in their 60's! I've never seen anything like it..The old fellas all had on beards and cardigans, the youngones were dressed like mannequins out of River Island,it was like one direction fighting the Dubliners.The old fellas absolutley battering them and out of nowhere a guy in a dracula costume ran across the road smoking a fag and took out about 5 people,completley cleared house and the fight just dispersed. It went on for about 5 mins, blocked traffic and all. The way they came from opposite directions and had such hatred for each other, it was like the fight seen out of Anchorman!

magicmushroom · 22-11-2013 02:36PM

poundapunnet wrote: »

Getting the school bus home once, bus stops all of a sudden, two of the lads get off and I look out the window and see them running down a field, chasing a tyre. Ask the bus driver what's going on and he said "ah sure, you know"

Too funny, I'm nearly crying with laughter at my desk, trying to do it quietly so no one notices I'm not actually working :rolleyes:

missierex · 22-11-2013 03:11PM

About two years ago a few friends and I went to Achill for New Years Eve. One of the days we headed to this miniature thatched pub to enjoy a nice Guinness by the open fire. Literally, the place was tiny, and there were only maybe three people in it apart from us and the barman. The barman even warned us not to tell anyone about the place, he wanted it kept nice and local!

So... We ordered our drinks, which the barman brought down to the table. He had a glint of excitement in his eyes and showed us a card. It was from a local guy who was writing to his fiancé (also local) telling her that he was gay and the wedding was off. Scandalous! The place suddenly came alive with all the locals (well, all 3 or 4 of them) gossiping and surmising.

We sat there in disbelief. Was this really happening? Had the barman just outed this guy to us out-of-towners and all the locals? Yes. He had.

A few minutes later, who knocks into the pub, but the fiancé, telling us all about what had happened. She seemed pretty peeved initially, but calmed down once all the creepy young farmers started buying her drinks!
Only in rural Ireland eh?!

And yes, this actually did happen!

tin79 · 22-11-2013 03:13PM

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImE6KxN1Rxo

That's fake. Its on Snopes. The first truck did go in but the second didn't.

Look at the pictures towards the end. There is a different set of people there and different cars parked on the pier for the second truck and then in the last pic suddenly the original group is back from the first recovery and the cars have disappeared.

The last picture is a photoshopped fake.

eviltimeban · 22-11-2013 03:25PM

smurgen wrote: »

one direction fighting the Dubliners

That sounds amazing, I'm going to request that guy "Jim'll paint it" to do that one.

22-11-2013 03:59PM

Was visiting Courtown with a friend who was over from the UK. Lovely sunny day so we were sitting outside a pub having a pint and reading the papers near the harbour.

Next thing, the barman pulls down the shutters on the pub ... shop across the road does the same thing.

We looked around and realised we were the only people around, it had been quiet before but this was unreal. The place was deserted, like something out of High Noon.

We found out later that word went around the town that two gangs of travellers were on their way into town for a fight (which never materialised) so they literally shut up shop ... and the fúcker in the pub left us outside!!

kowloon · 22-11-2013 04:38PM

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Father Ted isn't even an exaggeration a lot of the time.

On that topic, I love when this happens:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8DMJ3SGlzk

mattjack · 22-11-2013 04:52PM

One of my favourite surreal moments was when a headbanger I went to school with got arrested while collecting daffodils in the centre of N4 between Lucan and Leixlip at 4am one Winters morning .

The Gardai arrested for his own safety and after an hour or two in the cell told him fcuk of home.He insisted on waiting six hours as he reckoned he was entitled to a breakfast if there that long and also reasoned the flowers were his as he was a tax payer.

diomed · 22-11-2013 04:54PM

A parish priest building an airport in the middle of nowhere?

jimgoose · 22-11-2013 04:57PM

poundapunnet wrote: »

Getting the school bus home once, bus stops all of a sudden, two of the lads get off and I look out the window and see them running down a field, chasing a tyre. Ask the bus driver what's going on and he said "ah sure, you know" ...

^^^
This. That's it, right there. That's Ireland. :cool:

Malibu Stacy · 22-11-2013 05:14PM

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

Had a hilarious chat with a Spanish woman I give private classes to (if ye know what I mean wink wink mum's the word say no more, wha! ;)) tonight and she told me she believes Ireland is the most surreal country she's ever visited (she's very well travelled).

A Spaniard is calling another country surreal? I lived in Spain for over a year, and at least once a week I witnessed (or was part of) an incident that could have been pulled straight out of an Almodóvar movie. And they got progressively weirder over time: the last month I was there, I got into an argument in line at the local supermarket that involved a drunk man, two gitano women, and a six-foot tall transvestite.

jimgoose · 22-11-2013 05:15PM

Malibu Stacy wrote: »

A Spaniard is calling another country surreal? I lived in Spain for over a year, and at least once a week I witnessed (or was part of) an incident that could have been pulled straight out of an Almodóvar movie. And they got progressively weirder over time: the last month I was there, I got into an argument in line at the local supermarket that involved a drunk man, two gitano women, and a six-foot tall transvestite.

All you were short was the fella in the bee outfit out of the Simpsons.

Malibu Stacy · 22-11-2013 05:17PM

jimgoose wrote: »

All you were short was the fella in the bee outfit out of the Simpsons.

LOL, I had another, em, incident with the man who wears the Spiderman outfit around Plaza Mayor in Madrid. I should note that he is 1) fat and 2) does not wear underwear.

Surrealistic Ireland.

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