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Favourite ways of pretending you're not lonely!

  • 16-11-2013 04:04AM
    #1
    AskMyChocolate
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,312 ✭✭✭


    I buy loads of stuff in Aldi to make it look like I'm shopping for a family.


«13

Comments

  • #2
    DEFTLEFTHAND
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,499 ✭✭✭✭DEFTLEFTHAND


    I've 667 facebook friends.


  • #3
    Blue Crystal
    Closed Accounts Posts: 382 ✭✭Blue Crystal


    Its up there with pretending to have a phone conversation


  • #4
    Maximus Alexander
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,080 ✭✭✭✭Maximus Alexander


    I spend time with my girlfriend, friends or family.

    Am I doing it right?


  • #5
    Festy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,425 ✭✭✭Festy


    I'll always talk to myself on the mobile phone whenever I'm out in the public eye.


  • #6
    BillyMitchel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,324 ✭✭✭BillyMitchel


    I walk around with a blowup doll and say its my girlfriend. Other times I rob my nieces black doll and pram and say I adopted it from Africa.


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  • #7
    Cycling Dumbasses
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 417 ✭✭Cycling Dumbasses


    BillyMitchel wrote: »
    I walk around with a blowup doll and say its my girlfriend. Other times I rob my nieces black doll and pram and say I adopted it from Africa.
    LOL


  • #8
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    It gets easy to hide it from everyone else if you pretend enough to convince yourself first.


  • #9
    Cycling Dumbasses
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 417 ✭✭Cycling Dumbasses


    Insect Overlord wrote: »
    It gets easy to hide it from everyone else if you pretend enough to convince yourself first.
    What stuff you smoking boi?


  • #10
    theblaqueguy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 401 ✭✭theblaqueguy


    Cycling Dumbasses wrote: »
    What stuff you smoking boi?

    The good sthuff pass some over here boi I'm hanging for a shomke!


  • #11
    Cycling Dumbasses
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 417 ✭✭Cycling Dumbasses


    theblaqueguy wrote: »
    The good sthuff pass some over here boi I'm hanging for a shomke!
    Lads i have enough anyway work away plus 2 dozen sol.


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  • #12
    The Dom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 236 ✭✭The Dom


    When you order food to be delivered, order enough for two and then when the driver knocks, just before you answer the door, shout upstairs:

    "No it's okay sweetheart, I'll get it".


  • #13
    worded
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,915 ✭✭✭worded


    Standing outside the ladiies changing rooms at next etc with shopping bags full. Looking at your watch and pacing impatiently and remarking to the other lads waiting ...... God they take forever.

    Pretending to have a GF


  • #14
    Cycling Dumbasses
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 417 ✭✭Cycling Dumbasses


    worded wrote: »
    Standing outside the ladiies changing rooms at next etc with shopping bags full. Looking at your watch and pacing impatiently and remarking to the other lads waiting ...... God they take forever.

    Pretending to have a GF
    Thats just sad, dont do that tomo.


  • #15
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 31,263 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    I play a millionaire at parties!

    At least, I'd like to...


  • #16
    Daveysil15
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,301 ✭✭✭Daveysil15


    I get photos of people in nightclubs and super impose a photo of myself into it to make it look like I have a social life.


  • #17
    Esoteric_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,255 ✭✭✭✭Esoteric_


    Masturbate furiously, then cry myself to sleep.


  • #18
    wendell borton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,335 ✭✭✭wendell borton


    "Yes, I get a little lonely when the sun gets low
    And I end up looking for somewhere to go
    Yes, I should know better but I can’t say no."


  • #19
    Howard Juneau
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,901 ✭✭✭Howard Juneau


    DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »
    I've 667 facebook friends.

    I had 4,800 :(


  • #20
    Muise...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,512 ✭✭✭Muise...


    talk to cats, birds, plants and the moon.


  • #21
    woggas1972
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12 ✭woggas1972


    Start a thread on boards titled "Favourite ways of pretending you're not lonely!"


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  • #22
    looking_around
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,491 ✭✭✭looking_around


    why pretend? 0o

    I join chat rooms and such, local groups/clubs..start up a conversation...and what do you know..soon enough you're no longer lonely. ;)

    The important thing is to surround yourself with people, that don't make you feel like you have to be someone else.


  • #23
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,812 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I sit in my right hand for twenty minutes to make it go numb so when I masterbate it feels like someone else is doing it....I call it the stranger


  • #24
    AndonHandon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,382 ✭✭✭AndonHandon


    I spend a lot of time working so I forget that I'm lonely.


  • #25
    Zed Bank
    Closed Accounts Posts: 504 ✭✭✭Zed Bank


    Linking your Facebook friends to your phone so it doesn't look like you have four contacts.


  • #26
    old_aussie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,409 ✭✭✭old_aussie


    Cycling Dumbasses wrote: »
    What stuff you smoking boi?

    Jack Herer. Cannibis Cup Winner (Rotterdam)1995

    Lovely gunja grown in my garage.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Herer_(Cannabis)


  • #27
    darrcow
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 272 ✭✭darrcow


    i talk to the voices in my head. its ok until they tell me to kill puppies and kittens


  • #28
    Jonny Blaze
    Closed Accounts Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Jonny Blaze


    Light some candles and pour a second glass of wine for the lady in the porn i'm about to watch!


  • #29
    smurgen
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,933 ✭✭✭smurgen


    Jonny Blaze wrote: »
    Light some candles and pour a second glass of wine for the lady in the porn i'm about to watch!

    You old romantic you!


  • #30
    mattjack
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,389 ✭✭✭mattjack


    I set fire to random houses and cars , people come and visit me soon after. I make sure to have loud music playing , all the neighbours are out on the road to see me when that happens.


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  • #31
    ScumLord
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,787 ✭✭✭✭ScumLord


    I regularly call the Joe duffy show complaining about the young ones I see out enjoying themselves all the time. They're not really doing anything wrong I just have to make stuff up so Joe will talk to me.


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