Favourite ways of pretending you're not lonely!

AskMyChocolate

I buy loads of stuff in Aldi to make it look like I'm shopping for a family.

DEFTLEFTHAND

I've 667 facebook friends.

Blue Crystal

Its up there with pretending to have a phone conversation

Maximus Alexander

I spend time with my girlfriend, friends or family.

Am I doing it right?

Festy

I'll always talk to myself on the mobile phone whenever I'm out in the public eye.

BillyMitchel

I walk around with a blowup doll and say its my girlfriend. Other times I rob my nieces black doll and pram and say I adopted it from Africa.

Cycling Dumbasses

BillyMitchel wrote: »

I walk around with a blowup doll and say its my girlfriend. Other times I rob my nieces black doll and pram and say I adopted it from Africa.

LOL

Insect Overlord

It gets easy to hide it from everyone else if you pretend enough to convince yourself first.

Cycling Dumbasses

Insect Overlord wrote: »

It gets easy to hide it from everyone else if you pretend enough to convince yourself first.

What stuff you smoking boi?

theblaqueguy

Cycling Dumbasses wrote: »

What stuff you smoking boi?

The good sthuff pass some over here boi I'm hanging for a shomke!

Cycling Dumbasses

theblaqueguy wrote: »

The good sthuff pass some over here boi I'm hanging for a shomke!

Lads i have enough anyway work away plus 2 dozen sol.

The Dom

When you order food to be delivered, order enough for two and then when the driver knocks, just before you answer the door, shout upstairs:

"No it's okay sweetheart, I'll get it".

worded

Standing outside the ladiies changing rooms at next etc with shopping bags full. Looking at your watch and pacing impatiently and remarking to the other lads waiting ...... God they take forever.

Pretending to have a GF

Cycling Dumbasses

worded wrote: »

Standing outside the ladiies changing rooms at next etc with shopping bags full. Looking at your watch and pacing impatiently and remarking to the other lads waiting ...... God they take forever.

Pretending to have a GF

Thats just sad, dont do that tomo.

Insect Overlord

I play a millionaire at parties!

At least, I'd like to...

Daveysil15

I get photos of people in nightclubs and super impose a photo of myself into it to make it look like I have a social life.

Esoteric_

Masturbate furiously, then cry myself to sleep.

wendell borton

"Yes, I get a little lonely when the sun gets low
And I end up looking for somewhere to go
Yes, I should know better but I can’t say no."

Howard Juneau

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

I've 667 facebook friends.

I had 4,800

Muise...

talk to cats, birds, plants and the moon.

woggas1972

Start a thread on boards titled "Favourite ways of pretending you're not lonely!"

looking_around

why pretend? 0o

I join chat rooms and such, local groups/clubs..start up a conversation...and what do you know..soon enough you're no longer lonely.

The important thing is to surround yourself with people, that don't make you feel like you have to be someone else.

Sirsok

I sit in my right hand for twenty minutes to make it go numb so when I masterbate it feels like someone else is doing it....I call it the stranger

AndonHandon

I spend a lot of time working so I forget that I'm lonely.

Zed Bank

Linking your Facebook friends to your phone so it doesn't look like you have four contacts.

old_aussie

Cycling Dumbasses wrote: »

What stuff you smoking boi?

Jack Herer. Cannibis Cup Winner (Rotterdam)1995

Lovely gunja grown in my garage.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Herer_(Cannabis)

darrcow

i talk to the voices in my head. its ok until they tell me to kill puppies and kittens

Jonny Blaze

Light some candles and pour a second glass of wine for the lady in the porn i'm about to watch!

smurgen

Jonny Blaze wrote: »

Light some candles and pour a second glass of wine for the lady in the porn i'm about to watch!

You old romantic you!

mattjack

I set fire to random houses and cars , people come and visit me soon after. I make sure to have loud music playing , all the neighbours are out on the road to see me when that happens.

ScumLord

I regularly call the Joe duffy show complaining about the young ones I see out enjoying themselves all the time. They're not really doing anything wrong I just have to make stuff up so Joe will talk to me.

Wattle

Simply add a bag of Huggies to your weekly shop and give the lady cashier a knowing smile as she scans them. Also try and look as if you haven't slept for three months.

mikom

I'm not lonely.
In fact a lot of the time I would prefer more peace.

Son Of A Vidic

The Dom wrote: »

When you order food to be delivered, order enough for two and then when the driver knocks, just before you answer the door, shout upstairs:

"No it's okay sweetheart, I'll get it".

That's a....

Favourite ways of pretending you're not lonely! Level:Expert

keith16

I like to leave the curtains open and the lights on and walk around naked as the day I was born. Always hear people banging on the door soon after

worded

keith16 wrote: »

I like to leave the curtains open and the lights on and walk around naked as the day I was born. Always hear people banging on the door soon after

Consider some human card board Cut outs and some side lighting to Giventhe neighbours a look at some riding with the silhouettes on the action on the bedroom ceiling ?

Tramps Like Us

Stand outside a school pretending I'm waiting for my kids. This can go horribly wrong though

hatrickpatrick

If you have any knack for marketing, it's become incredibly easy through social media to make it look like you're living the dream on a constant basis.

It's funny, I didn't have a great year at all in 2011 (actually "not great" would be a serious understatement), but out of interest I had a glance at my 2011 Facebook timeline and it honestly looks like I'm an absolute f*cking legend

It makes me wonder though - so many people when you have those late night drunken "deep meaningful conversations", or DMCs, will tell you they sometimes feel like everyone else is having a great time while they're sort of bored. I'm now wondering is this in part because people try to put their best foot forward on social media - no one is going to put up a status saying "Having a banana and just chilling at home" (well, unless it's instagram in which case you'll get 2400 photos of the banana from 14 different angles) so in fact, when you look at social media and it makes you feel like you're own day has been rather dull, consider that the people who seem to never put up anything mundane probably have a LOT of mundane stuff - they just don't advertise it.

I half wonder if this is something that makes people feel lonely in this day and age. When you're bombarded with stories only of the big, exciting stuff in friends' lives, it's easy to feel like they never have a lonely moment while you're seriously lagging behind in the craic department. In all probability, it's simply an optical illusion caused not by how much they tell you about their lives, but how much they don't tell you about them.

Daveysil15

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

If you have any knack for marketing, it's become incredibly easy through social media to make it look like you're living the dream on a constant basis.

It's funny, I didn't have a great year at all in 2011 (actually "not great" would be a serious understatement), but out of interest I had a glance at my 2011 Facebook timeline and it honestly looks like I'm an absolute f*cking legend

It makes me wonder though - so many people when you have those late night drunken "deep meaningful conversations", or DMCs, will tell you they sometimes feel like everyone else is having a great time while they're sort of bored. I'm now wondering is this in part because people try to put their best foot forward on social media - no one is going to put up a status saying "Having a banana and just chilling at home" (well, unless it's instagram in which case you'll get 2400 photos of the banana from 14 different angles) so in fact, when you look at social media and it makes you feel like you're own day has been rather dull, consider that the people who seem to never put up anything mundane probably have a LOT of mundane stuff - they just don't advertise it.

I half wonder if this is something that makes people feel lonely in this day and age. When you're bombarded with stories only of the big, exciting stuff in friends' lives, it's easy to feel like they never have a lonely moment while you're seriously lagging behind in the craic department. In all probability, it's simply an optical illusion caused not by how much they tell you about their lives, but how much they don't tell you about them.

Very good post. I agree with the social media thing. I very rarely post anything on facebook. Maybe I should post a status update tomorrow morning saying I have a huge hangover after a great night out. That seems to be a popular thing to do. I would post a selfie of myself standing in front of a mirror in a mini skirt, but I don't think I have the figure for it.

PizzamanIRL

In a public place I text myself multiple times and then I say ''Ah go away'' when I whip out my phone to read the text, pretending I'm popular.

Only joking, I can't afford to buy credit.

Howard Juneau

PizzamanIRL wrote: »

In a public place I text myself multiple times and then I say ''Ah go away'' when I whip out my phone to read the text, pretending I'm popular.

Only joking, I can't afford to buy credit.

Vodafone €4 IOU is your only man! ........or friend

PizzamanIRL

Howard Juneau wrote: »

Vodafone €4 IOU is your only man! ........or friend

Nice! That should get me a 10 minute conversation.

PizzamanIRL

All joking aside, there's no reason anyone should be lonely with all the people in this world and things you can do and take part in. It's all up to the individual.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

jadun

I stand outside the primary school in a suit talking to mothers while they are collecting their children while I'm waiting for mine. I tell them stories of me and my wife and our new house. I have no house, I have no job and I have no children.

Howard Juneau

jadun wrote: »

I stand outside the primary school in a suit talking to mothers while they are collecting their children while I'm waiting for mine. I tell them stories of me and my wife and our new house. I have no house, I have no job and I have no children.

I fckin wish you had no computer!

Daveysil15

FizzleSticks wrote: »

I live alone and in work I'm alone most of the time when I'm sent on my break no one else is. Part of my job is "interacting" with customers, I'm not even trying to sell them anything.. just having the chats.

Sometimes they're great chats but I doubt they realise that some days they're the only people I've talked for more than a few moments that day.

I sound like I live the life of a very old lady, no I'm 22 so what do I do about this? Go on facebook and pretend I'm having a grrrreat aul life

You could go on POF instead.

Legs.Eleven

I know of a guy here who put nail varnish on the nails on his hand and gave himself hand shandies.

MRnotlob606

when im a bar il sit at a table with two chairs and bring a jacket to put over the other chair to make it look like my friend went to the toilet

Daveysil15

MRnotlob606 wrote: »

when im a bar il sit at a table with two chairs and bring a jacket to put over the other chair to make it look like my friend went to the toilet

That's actually a good idea. One time I hired an escort and got her to accompany me to a nightclub so I could pretend she was my girlfriend. It was working well until she started giving me a hand shandy under the table. I'm not allowed in there anymore.

Santa Cruz

At work slip out and ring the receptionist. I put on a different voice and ask that they take a message for me about a gathering that night.