Religious child

Terrlock wrote: »

One thing I'd say to you though, if your wrong about God and God does indeed exist, I'd hate to be one answering for coming between him and a child.

God would punish the child even if He deems the parent to be responsible for the child not having faith in Him?

Rosina1969 wrote: »

On the one hand I should respect what she wants but on the other hand I really didn't want this for her.

Why dont you leave her make up her own mind ? I dont see anything wrong with people/children being religious. Whether they be christian, hindu, buddhist etc. So long as they dont force their opinions on anyone else then I see no harm. You have made your choice not to be religious, I'd let your child make her own choice. You havent forced religion on her so why would you force atheism? She's only 10. Who knows...this time next year she could be worshipping the devil !!

keane2097 wrote: »

I'm not convinced by this line of reasoning for a ten year old tbh. If she actually did want to be a devil worshipper would people be saying to take her along to get inducted? What if she decided she wanted to be a scientologist?

There are a lot of stupid notions that children take from time to time that a parent ought not to facilitate.

Jaysus, that last line was meant as a joke. Children change their minds the whole time being my point. So how about...In a year from now she could have eased off on the praying and be a 'normal' little girl again? Better?

keane2097 wrote: »

Huh? I'm making a general point about some of the advice in the thread that was prompted by your mention of other foolish notions a child could take, not sure why you seem to be taking offence?

I'm not taking offence, I just gave a more sedate example of what she could be doing in a years time just in case it was thought i was promoting the virtues of satanic worship.

smacl wrote: »

Because at that age, you still help children with a lot of their choices based on what you believe to be in their best long term interests. For example, you encourage them take up healthy interests such as sports rather than sitting in front of the tv. You tell them what they can and can't eat, when they should go to bed, and that reading a book is better than playing on the iPhone. Similarly, you help guide them to develop their own personal morality, in terms of being kind to others, generous of spirit, fun loving, etc..., typically leading by example. You also help them avoid traps and pitfalls, and as an atheist, believing in God or much of the nonsense spouted by the Catholic church falls squarely into this category.

As they get older, this happens much less, but at 10 kids rely on the judgement of their parents quite a lot, and rightly so. They'll spend most of their later years doing their own thing.

Parents are always slated for forcing their religion on their children and not allowing them the freedom to make up their own minds, no more so than catholicism. Should the same not be applied here, forcing athiesm on a child and telling them that being a catholic is nonsense. You're just projecting your bias and opinions onto your child. You may believe its in the child's best interest and thats fair enough thats your choice as a parent, but as i said before, if there is no psycological or physical harm coming to the child as a result of saying their prayers at night or reading whatever holy book they're in to at night time, then I see no reason to step in and 'correct' their ways. IMO it'd just let it run its course.

Rosina1969 wrote: »

Hi, my daughter is 10 and she's become obsessed with god and religioni. She wants to make her first communion and become a catholic. She's not baptised. I was brought up a catholic but long since lapsed and don't believe in anything now. She's been influenced by my parents strong catholic faith. What should I do, I'm very torn. On the one hand I should respect what she wants but on the other hand I really didn't want this for her. She prays every night, she reads prayer books and bible stories. She prays when she eats. She worries that I don't believe, or her dad. What would you do.

Firstly I think you should have tackled all of these issues in conversation a long time ago. I started when my son was about 4 or so. But that's water under the bridge.

Clearly your parents have brainwashed her and frightened her, and you cannot undo that in a day. But in my view it is to abandon her if you were to leave things as they are. Children are NOT free to develop their own beliefs, as someone above suggested, if they are under the influence of brain washing.

I believe you should do nothing confrontational - definitely. You should simply start to include related topics in your family conversation a couple of times a week on a very casual basis. You should explain from time to time, gently and in passing, how you feel about it and why - and NOT seek a response from her. Just let it sit and cook.
Now and again say something 'like' " so.... do you believe that there is an alien out in space that can control the whole universe, monitors every single one of the 7 billion people on our planet, and listens to everyone's dreams and prayers and choses some to grant and some to ignore ?" I am paraphrasing ... but again don't see answers or responses ... just let your thoughts cook in her mind over the coming years and when she starts asking questions you just give honest answers. Also try to introduce a scientific way of thinking about the world around her, how evidence is important, how truth and logic are important.

Over time she will consciously and unconsciously process your views and those of your parents and along the way she will see that you live happily without religious beliefs, that there is nothing to fear, and feel safe to reduce and maybe eventually abandon these religious things eventually.

My daughter started going to mass at 12. I think it was mainly because all her friends did and she was curious. She also went to communion. I only found out after a few months as she used to say she was at a friends house. I didn't fight it or make a fuss. I just encouraged her to think about things and I also pointed out she couldn't go to communion until she was officially a catholic and even suggested she go to catechism classes. We talked about catholic beliefs and dogmas and she decided herself she couldn't agree with a lot of it. I think talking to her friends about it and seeing that their belief wasn't very strong also helped. She dropped it after looking at other religions and decided she was an atheist. As atheists, most of us have come on a long journey, examining beliefs and deciding our selves we couldn't believe. We mustn't deny our children the same.

Piliger wrote: »

What bias ? Atheism is a freedom from bias.

There is psychological harm for the child. She has been indoctrinated with fictional nonsense as a life-belief.

No comment necessary.

Jernal wrote: »

Mod: JC please don't post in this thread again. This is a thread about giving advice. It's not to meant to break into several different mini atheist/theist debates.

Ta,

No problem. I will stick to the advice and we will all leave the atheist / theist debate to the thread

She's 10. She hasn't a clue. Let her dabble, while continuing to inform her of your own stance on the matter.

Religious claptrap appeals to children, because of its simplistic viewpoints, or at least how those viewpoints are presented to children.

As she gets older, life will soon obliterate most of what she thinks she believes and reality will inform her differently.

I myself would be closer to agnosticism. I reserved the right not to know.

It looks like we have come full circle. When I was a kid I would have been shot if i said I didnt believe in god. Now its the other way round.

She could be doing this to differ from you and have her own individuality as we all did when we were younger.

Days 298 wrote: »

I know a lad who was raised in an atheist household. At 12 his aunt approached him and got him to join some type of church. He is now one of the most brainwashed conservatives you could meet. He has no friends outside of this church now. His life is church church church. He has nothing but his church. Hes 18 now and I dont know what he would do without religion now. All from his aunt just talking to him about Jesus 6 years ago.....

Very tragic. In my opinion this is typical of what happens when a void is left by parents failing to arm a child with the skills to assess what they are told. We as parents do a lot of things when we bring up a child. One of the most important things is to teach them from early on how to decide when things are real or imagined; the difference between made up things and real things, and how to judge what is true and not true. An early introduction to 'the scientific method' is how we can arm our children in this way. Belief based on evidence that we can observe and measure - as opposed to the nonsensical derision of Thomas in the Bible novels.
This lad you speak of was clearly completely unarmed and when he was faced with an aunt, someone he trusted, he was defenceless to resist her fantasies with logic or rational thinking.

Pherekydes wrote: »

Why don't you quit with this diabolical crap?

I believe that God calling her is a distinct possibility ... but time will tell in each case.

It may also just be a young person's rejection of their parent's beliefs, like Optimalprimerib has said.