Religious child

Rosina1969

Hi, my daughter is 10 and she's become obsessed with god and religioni. She wants to make her first communion and become a catholic. She's not baptised. I was brought up a catholic but long since lapsed and don't believe in anything now. She's been influenced by my parents strong catholic faith. What should I do, I'm very torn. On the one hand I should respect what she wants but on the other hand I really didn't want this for her. She prays every night, she reads prayer books and bible stories. She prays when she eats. She worries that I don't believe, or her dad. What would you do.

JPCN1

I'd leave her make her own choices.

Holsten

Let her make her own choice, then as she gets older she should start to question her own beliefs.

campo

She sounds like a great kid, I would respect her wishes

Smash The House

it all sounds a bit odd OP

do they attend a Catholic school? surely at the age of 10 they'd past communion year? How much time do they spend with your parents? are you ok with your dad and possibly the school preaching?

you said she's worried about you not believing, if that's the case, then you really need to talk to whoever is filling her head with all this. You don't want your child to be convinced your going to hell and worrying about you every day

I'm not saying refuse to let her make it, I'm just saying a few things should be cleared up if you are going to let her:)

catallus

Smash The House wrote: »

it all sounds a bit odd OP

do they attend a Catholic school? surely at the age of 10 they'd past communion year? How much time do they spend with your parents? are you ok with your dad and possibly the school preaching?

you said she's worried about you not believing, if that's the case, then you really need to talk to whoever is filling her head with all this. You don't want your child to be convinced your going to hell and worrying about you every day

I'm not saying refuse to let her make it, I'm just saying a few things should be cleared up if you are going to let her:)

This is hugely important. She's young and she has some autonomy but you as her parent need to be sure that whatever/whoever the influence is that is spurring on this religious belief that she has is operating in her best interests. Best case scenario is that she is just happy believing. Worst case is she is being influenced by people who would use her new-found faith as a weapon against her.

If you find her obsessing about hell and the rest, then you need to set her straight on a few things.

Sulla Felix

I'd explain to her why I don't believe.

magicbastarder

send her to work with nuns next summer. that will cure her.

robindch

Rosina1969 wrote: »

She worries that I don't believe, or her dad. What would you do.

Your kid is fearful because of what your parents told her? I'd be having a very short, very sharp conversation with them about that for a start.

You could also read the bible and find all the bits that she's not supposed to to, but probably doing -- eating shellfish, wearing cloth of two different types, praying in public (at mass), calling priests "father" and so on. And all the stuff that she's supposed to be doing, that she's probably not - learning off prayers, going to mass every day, giving ten percent of everything to the church, believing six impossible things before breakfast and so on.

The Skeptics Annotated Bible is your friend for some of this:

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/long.html
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/by_name.html
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fv/long.html

etc, etc.

magicbastarder

she's 10. no point coming on hot and heavy on her. best to try to understand what underpins her faith.

kylith

I'd say to support her learning all she can about it and to let her go to mass if she wants, but I'd also teach her as much as possible about other world religions, and I wouldn't let her make her communion until she's old enough to fully understand what she's signing up to; maybe around 16. That way she can have time to learn about religions and can make an informed decision when she's old enough to do so.

Turtwig

This is tough.

Somewhere or somehow your daughter is now behaving like a devout Catholic. The most likely culprits are the parents or the school. Or perhaps just maybe she acquired it of her own autonomy. Either way your child is now a Catholic. Explain in as neutral a tone as possible what you believe. Then put yourself in her shoes would you like a parent preaching telling you what you ought to believe? Whatever she believes she should believe it of her own freewill. Telling her she needs to adopt a particular stance is the wrong way to go imo. Treat her as a Catholic but don't become extra tolerant of Catholicism, make sure your values and beliefs are clear at all times, but also don't attempt to persuade her out of it.

pauldla

OP, my advice, for what it's worth, is: if she wants to explore Catholicism, facilitate her. Let her receive the sacraments, etc, but maintain your own stance on it, too. No need to come down heavy: for example, if she wants to go to Mass, bring her, but wait outside, the same as you would for any other activity (I bring my son to dance class, but I feel no compulsion to shaking my money-maker to Gangnam Style, no matter how much I love him). Keep up a dialogue with her, listen to what she has to say, and see how it goes. It might just be a phase for her, or she might find it fulfilling. Either way, it's her choice, but as a parent, I think it's most important that you make sure it IS her own choice, and not something that is being foisted on her by others. It's a tricky one to call: I don't envy your predicament.

smacl

I'd tend to agree with pauldla, in that if your child wants to explore religion, let her do so. Any strong willed child will fight harder for the thing that is banned than something allowed, and keeping in open friendly communication is IMHO a crucial part of parenting. What I would do is chat with her about the reasons that you ditched religion yourself. I find with my two, having a bit of a laugh about it always helps. Living in a house full of happy heathens, Catholicism is unlikely to stick.

nozzferrahhtoo

Whenever children have asked me about religion off their own choice, for whatever reason, I tend to try and put it in terms they understand. I ask them do they enjoy imagination while they play. They always say yes. I ask them about how it all feels really real during the game. Which they always agree with me over. They are more than aware that imagination can seem so real in the heat of play.

I then simply tell them that grown ups are not as good as imagination as kids are and "god" is just what happens when grown ups forget how to tell the difference between reality and imagination on some things.

They seem to understand this and it has impacted their view on the subject more than I could have contrived had I set out to have that effect intentionally.

gaynorvader

I'd sit down with her and have a discussion about why she believes. Just get her to explain to you, don't put words into her mouth. I find at that age for most kids the reasons are pretty selfish: "Teacher says I'll go to hell if I don't", "I want the money from first communion", etc. When you find out why, it might be easier to dissuade her "Do you think your teacher is always right about everything?", "What makes you think she's right about hell?", etc. Don't preach to her, just question her, let her answer, if she can't don't press her for an answer, just ask her to think about it and come back when she wants to answer.

Rosina1969

Thanks for all the interesting though-provoking posts. She goes to educate together, so its not from school. She went happily through 2nd class not bothered about children who were making their communion. I had a childminder who was a devout christian, and I think she talked a lot about god. But to be fair, my daughter is so interested in god and religion I imagine she would have started a lot of the conversations herself especially when she found out her childminder was a christian. My parents sometimes, the odd time, would bring her to mass with them. I didnt see a problem with that - just more 'education'. My current childminder is a devout catholic and goes to mass every day, so I would think there have been a lot of conversations with her also. I dont believe any of them have pushed it on my daughter though. It's just a passion she has developed herself. I probably havent been proactive enough in telling her what I believe. I find it harder as its more what I DONT believe than what I do, IUKWIM.
Would you really not go into the church with her, or not sit with her for mass. That would suit me as I could bring my son for a walk while she's in there - he hates to sit still!

feelgoodinc27

robindch wrote: »

Your kid is fearful because of what your parents told her? I'd be having a very short, very sharp conversation with them about that for a start.

You could also read the bible and find all the bits that she's not supposed to to, but probably doing -- eating shellfish, wearing cloth of two different types, praying in public (at mass), calling priests "father" and so on. And all the stuff that she's supposed to be doing, that she's probably not - learning off prayers, going to mass every day, giving ten percent of everything to the church, believing six impossible things before breakfast and so on.

The Skeptics Annotated Bible is your friend for some of this:

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/cruelty/long.html
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/contra/by_name.html
http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/fv/long.html

etc, etc.

So replace one dogma for another.

Rosina1969

gaynorvader, I did that, and she just said ' how can you not believe - god made the whole world, he loves us'. She didnt really explain, she just really believes.
no its definitely not about the money for the first communion or the dress or the bouncy castle or anything like that.
she prays for hours every night, literally about an hour. She gets quite upset if she doesnt have time to do it.
I think it's like a comfort to her

gaynorvader

Rosina1969 wrote: »

gaynorvader, I did that, and she just said ' how can you not believe - god made the whole world, he loves us'. She didnt really explain, she just really believes.
no its definitely not about the money for the first communion or the dress or the bouncy castle or anything like that.
she prays for hours every night, literally about an hour. She gets quite upset if she doesnt have time to do it.
I think it's like a comfort to her

Why does she think god made the whole world? Why does she think he loves us?
I certainly wouldn't stand in the way of her praying if she wants, just gentle questions. Ask yourself why you don't believe and try to get her to ask the same questions that led you to not believing.

Sulla Felix

I've been thinking about this since I posted and I think I need to reconsider.

I personally believe organized religion, Catholicism in particular, to be actively harmful to the mental health of an otherwise healthy individual. With that as a predicate of my dealings with religion and the religious, I couldn't in good conscience take a softly, softly approach to a child of mine deciding they wished to be a Catholic.

That doesn't mean I'd ban the practise or anything along those lines, since it'd be counter productive, especially with a child. I would however actively dispute the foundations of the faith. Challenge the assumptions that religious people make.

The child prays before bed? Fine, but a conversation on the why's and how's of how that's supposed to effect anything meaningful is required. There's plenty of cognitive dissonance that can be drawn into the foreground. Efficacy of prayer vs gods divine plan etc

Child wants to go to mass? Facilitate that, but why is mass necessary? If God is everywhere, if it's not in the Bible?

I guess, basically, I'd run through the questions I asked myself as I fell away from the Church. I'd be less inclined to worry for a christian child than a catholic one. Not saying I'd leave it at that, but I'd see Catholocism specifically as a clear and present danger to any child of mines mental wellbeing.

Rosina1969

I think I need to examine my own beliefs, or lack of them. I find it hard to explain, only that I dont believe in any of it any more.
Sulla Felix I think that is my worry, I dont really want her mixing with priests and religious, and there's the whole 'guilt' thing which she is getting into already - like she said 'jesus died for US on the cross, how can you not believe in him and love him'. Before we had children we made a very definite decision that we didnt want them brought up in any kind of organised religion. But like the others say, if I try to say no, or wait until you're older, she goes mental at me, and is so angry with me. I'm wondering if the anger she will have against me if I say no to making communion, will outweigh any issues she will have if I let her.
One friend says to me that I should facilitate her, and let her explore her passion.
Her dad (ex-husband) says we should just say no, you're not doing it now, you can do it when you're older and you understand more about whether it's something you really want to do.
I tried to say to her the other day to wait until she is old enough to go to church herself, and it was a big decision, but she went absolutely mental. Then she started saying she had prayed and prayed that she would be allowed to do it... So if I do say no would it be a lesson that god doesnt answer her prayers?
I'm very confused about what to do.

the cats pajamas

If they are your child's wishes then think about respecting them, but she is a child and your responsibility is to raise her as best you can, not humor her in endeavors you think are foolish. (but that's your choice).
If she didn't get this into her head at your home, you need to ask where did she get it?
Is someone pushing it on her?

I think asking her some honest and real questions and pointing out some of the cog dissonance would be useful.
Plenty of people die and could say they're doing it for other people. It doesn't prove anything. Something only being written in one book with no other contemporary sources - early history lesson there about sources of historical documents. And so on.
I think a firm "no" at this stage would be harmful and counter productive, it needs to be engaged and brought out into the light.
If she still believes in it all anyway in a few years and doesn't seem to display any trauma - I'd be wary about this guilt and hell obsession, frankly - then it's up to her

Benny_Cake

The only thing that would concern me there is that you say she is worried about the fact that you don't believe. It would worry me to see a child becoming obsessed with the idea that their loved ones could die at any time and be sentenced to eternal suffering. If that's the case, then she's getting it from somewhere and some gentle questioning will probably reveal the source.

I wouldn't worry about the rest of it (well, I would say that). She sounds like a very smart and thoughtful child - as she gets older her beliefs will undoubtedly change or evolve. Just be there to support her when she needs you.

smacl

Rosina1969 wrote: »

I tried to say to her the other day to wait until she is old enough to go to church herself, and it was a big decision, but she went absolutely mental. Then she started saying she had prayed and prayed that she would be allowed to do it...

No offence, but that sounds like a plain and simple tantrum. Having two girls myself, this is something we all get to see to a greater or lesser extent. Currently with me it is due to me not wanting to get my youngest (11) a dog. Whatever your decision about religion, letting your daughter get her own way by throwing a tantrum is bad news.

So if I do say no would it be a lesson that god doesnt answer her prayers?

Absolutely. Let God not answer her prayers, or anyone else for that matter when she's going mental, and then get her the odd unexpected nice surprise when she behaves well. Kids can be very manipulative, and mean as it may seem, you often have to be manipulative right back at them.

Benny_Cake

smacl wrote: »

No offence, but that sounds like a plain and simple tantrum. Having two girls myself, this is something we all get to see to a greater or lesser extent. Currently with me it is due to me not wanting to get my youngest (11) a dog. Whatever your decision about religion, letting your daughter get her own way by throwing a tantrum is bad news.

I didn't notice that bit, definitely sounds like a tantrum to me! OP, don't let her use this to manipulate you, it would send the wrong signal on a number of levels.

Sulla Felix

Rosina1969 wrote: »

I think I need to examine my own beliefs, or lack of them. I find it hard to explain, only that I dont believe in any of it any more.

I think you're right.

You need, when presented with a statement like 'jesus died for US on the cross, how can you not believe in him and love him' , to be able to explain why that statement is morally repugnant and not just that you don't agree with it, because or worse, that it's wrong because I said so. (the alarmbell for every child that tells them mom or dad are just being asses!).

You're not going to solve this issue overnight anyway, so you have time for some reading. Most on this forum come at things from two directions: a better command of the bible and religious doctrine than a lot of actually religious people, and a decent grasp of critical reasoning.

Regarding that specific statement though: why did he have to die on the cross? If God was his father, couldn't he have saved him? Oh, to expiate our sins, which sins? Original sin, so we're to be blamed for Adam and Eve disobeying God? Is that fair? If I (you) do something wrong, does that mean that you (her! brainmelt...) should be punished for it? Why not, if we're to be punished for our ancestors wrongdoing etc etc.
Why should we be guilty for Jesus dying? Are we guilty for other things that happened before we were born? If not, why not? If not, why are for this one thing and not the others?

There's just a wealth of things for which there is no reasonable answer.

Dades

OP does she have friends who are the same way inclined? Is she a sociable child? She didn't link these notions of hers off the stones.

Normally I'd say let her make her own mind up but someone is taken that choice away from her already and already started instilling some negative traits.

If you fill in the "gaps" that God usually fills it might go some way to at least relieving some of her pre-teen fundamentalism. I have my daughter on a staple diet of popular science to counteract the "God made it" stuff she's going to hear in school.

Terrlock

I have never ever heard of a Child trying to manipulate a Parent to go to mass.

I had a very strong believe in God as a child, but growing up as a child I think I found mass to be one of the most boring things ever.

Is this for real or is this a troll?

One thing I'd say to you though, if your wrong about God and God does indeed exist, I'd hate to be one answering for coming between him and a child.

vitani

A lot of kids go through a religious stage at about that age - I know I did. I remember praying every night in 5th or 6th class. By the age of 13 though, I'd started to move away from the Church. I think religion and believing that there's someone out there watching over you can be very comforting when you're learning about the world and starting to lose a bit of your childhood innocence.

For now, I'd support her in learning about Catholicism and I'd be respectful about her current beliefs, within reason. At the very least, this will take the rebellion out of it. Chances are that it's a phase and she'll grow out of it soon.

I'd also reassure her about you not believing - something along the lines of if God exists, then you think he's more concerned about people being kind and good to each other rather than going to Mass or believing in him. So, even though you don't go to Mass, if you live a good life, he won't send you to hell. I think it's important that she doesn't have to fret about being separated from you in whatever afterlife she believes in.

Turtwig

Terrlock wrote: »

One thing I'd say to you though, if your wrong about God and God does indeed exist, I'd hate to be one answering for coming between him and a child.

God would punish the child even if He deems the parent to be responsible for the child not having faith in Him?

seamus

Dades wrote: »

OP does she have friends who are the same way inclined? Is she a sociable child? She didn't link these notions of hers off the stones.

Normally I'd say let her make her own mind up but someone is taken that choice away from her already and already started instilling some negative traits.

This would be my concern. Is there anything new that has happened, the death of a family member, or even a friend's family member?

Have your parents perhaps been talking to her about death and faith? Having faith because you believe you can pray for a new bike at Xmas is one thing, but expressing concern at the non-belief of others leads me to think there's a "what about death" aspect to this.

smacl

Dades wrote: »

I have my daughter on a staple diet of popular science to counteract the "God made it" stuff she's going to hear in school.

My kids are also both very much into science, particularly whiling away an afternoon on experiments that may involve blowing something up, creating some truly disgusting gunk, looking at bugs under a microscope, or creating a mini-eco system in an old fish tank populated with various insects and local pond life.

Basically spending time with your kids doing fun stuff will make mass move from mildly boring to insufferably so very quickly indeed.

Terrlock

Jernal wrote: »

God would punish the child even if He deems the parent to be responsible for the child not having faith in Him?

That doesn't make sense. I thought God was suppose to be supremely Just.

Nerdlingr

Rosina1969 wrote: »

On the one hand I should respect what she wants but on the other hand I really didn't want this for her.

Why dont you leave her make up her own mind ? I dont see anything wrong with people/children being religious. Whether they be christian, hindu, buddhist etc. So long as they dont force their opinions on anyone else then I see no harm. You have made your choice not to be religious, I'd let your child make her own choice. You havent forced religion on her so why would you force atheism? She's only 10. Who knows...this time next year she could be worshipping the devil !!

keane2097

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Why dont you leave her make up her own mind ? I dont see anything wrong with people/children being religious. Whether they be christian, hindu, buddhist etc. So long as they dont force their opinions on anyone else then I see no harm. You have made your choice not to be religious, I'd let your child make her own choice. You havent forced religion on her so why would you force atheism? She's only 10. Who knows...this time next year she could be worshipping the devil !!

I'm not convinced by this line of reasoning for a ten year old tbh. If she actually did want to be a devil worshipper would people be saying to take her along to get inducted? What if she decided she wanted to be a scientologist?

There are a lot of stupid notions that children take from time to time that a parent ought not to facilitate.

Nerdlingr

keane2097 wrote: »

I'm not convinced by this line of reasoning for a ten year old tbh. If she actually did want to be a devil worshipper would people be saying to take her along to get inducted? What if she decided she wanted to be a scientologist?

There are a lot of stupid notions that children take from time to time that a parent ought not to facilitate.

Jaysus, that last line was meant as a joke. Children change their minds the whole time being my point. So how about...In a year from now she could have eased off on the praying and be a 'normal' little girl again? Better?

keane2097

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Jaysus, that last line was meant as a joke. Children change their minds the whole time being my point. So how about...In a year from now she could have eased off on the praying and be a 'normal' little girl again? Better?

Huh? I'm making a general point about some of the advice in the thread that was prompted by your mention of other foolish notions a child could take, not sure why you seem to be taking offence?

Nerdlingr

keane2097 wrote: »

Huh? I'm making a general point about some of the advice in the thread that was prompted by your mention of other foolish notions a child could take, not sure why you seem to be taking offence?

I'm not taking offence, I just gave a more sedate example of what she could be doing in a years time just in case it was thought i was promoting the virtues of satanic worship.

smacl

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Why dont you leave her make up her own mind ? I dont see anything wrong with people/children being religious. Whether they be christian, hindu, buddhist etc. So long as they dont force their opinions on anyone else then I see no harm. You have made your choice not to be religious, I'd let your child make her own choice. You havent forced religion on her so why would you force atheism? She's only 10.

Because at that age, you still help children with a lot of their choices based on what you believe to be in their best long term interests. For example, you encourage them take up healthy interests such as sports rather than sitting in front of the tv. You tell them what they can and can't eat, when they should go to bed, and that reading a book is better than playing on the iPhone. Similarly, you help guide them to develop their own personal morality, in terms of being kind to others, generous of spirit, fun loving, etc..., typically leading by example. You also help them avoid traps and pitfalls, and as an atheist, believing in God or much of the nonsense spouted by the Catholic church falls squarely into this category.

As they get older, this happens much less, but at 10 kids rely on the judgement of their parents quite a lot, and rightly so. They'll spend most of their later years doing their own thing.

Nerdlingr

smacl wrote: »

Because at that age, you still help children with a lot of their choices based on what you believe to be in their best long term interests. For example, you encourage them take up healthy interests such as sports rather than sitting in front of the tv. You tell them what they can and can't eat, when they should go to bed, and that reading a book is better than playing on the iPhone. Similarly, you help guide them to develop their own personal morality, in terms of being kind to others, generous of spirit, fun loving, etc..., typically leading by example. You also help them avoid traps and pitfalls, and as an atheist, believing in God or much of the nonsense spouted by the Catholic church falls squarely into this category.

As they get older, this happens much less, but at 10 kids rely on the judgement of their parents quite a lot, and rightly so. They'll spend most of their later years doing their own thing.

Parents are always slated for forcing their religion on their children and not allowing them the freedom to make up their own minds, no more so than catholicism. Should the same not be applied here, forcing athiesm on a child and telling them that being a catholic is nonsense. You're just projecting your bias and opinions onto your child. You may believe its in the child's best interest and thats fair enough thats your choice as a parent, but as i said before, if there is no psycological or physical harm coming to the child as a result of saying their prayers at night or reading whatever holy book they're in to at night time, then I see no reason to step in and 'correct' their ways. IMO it'd just let it run its course.

smacl

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Parents are always slated for forcing their religion on their children and not allowing them the freedom to make up their own minds, no more so than catholicism. Should the same not be applied here, forcing athiesm on a child and telling them that being a catholic is nonsense. You're just projecting your bias and opinions onto your child. You may believe its in the child's best interest and thats fair enough thats your choice as a parent, but as i said before, if there is no psycological or physical harm coming to the child as a result of saying their prayers at night or reading whatever holy book they're in to at night time, then I see no reason to step in and 'correct' their ways. IMO it'd just let it run its course.

As a parent you inevitably do project your biases onto your kids, that's part of being a parent, only a fool would think differently. I wouldn't stop my kids taking up a religion if they wanted to, but I would take the time to explain to them why I thought that religion was a load of nonsense. It's not a matter of force as you suggest, simply guidance during the formative years. I do think that introducing notions such as a God that watches your every move, life after death, and an eternal hell for sinners as having the potential to be psychologically damaging for kids. I'd also advise my girls to steer well clear of any group that believes the highest positions can and should only be held by men, that homosexuality is a sin, and that anyone who doesn't tow the line will spend all eternity burning in the pit. It's not really that nice, now is it? I encourage my kids to be nice and have already had this conversation with them.

FWIW, my eldest did briefly convert to Buddhism for about three months when she was 14, but ditched it later. I think it was more about food and philosophy than anything else, both of which are well worth exploring imho.

Piliger

Rosina1969 wrote: »

Hi, my daughter is 10 and she's become obsessed with god and religioni. She wants to make her first communion and become a catholic. She's not baptised. I was brought up a catholic but long since lapsed and don't believe in anything now. She's been influenced by my parents strong catholic faith. What should I do, I'm very torn. On the one hand I should respect what she wants but on the other hand I really didn't want this for her. She prays every night, she reads prayer books and bible stories. She prays when she eats. She worries that I don't believe, or her dad. What would you do.

Firstly I think you should have tackled all of these issues in conversation a long time ago. I started when my son was about 4 or so. But that's water under the bridge.

Clearly your parents have brainwashed her and frightened her, and you cannot undo that in a day. But in my view it is to abandon her if you were to leave things as they are. Children are NOT free to develop their own beliefs, as someone above suggested, if they are under the influence of brain washing.

I believe you should do nothing confrontational - definitely. You should simply start to include related topics in your family conversation a couple of times a week on a very casual basis. You should explain from time to time, gently and in passing, how you feel about it and why - and NOT seek a response from her. Just let it sit and cook.
Now and again say something 'like' " so.... do you believe that there is an alien out in space that can control the whole universe, monitors every single one of the 7 billion people on our planet, and listens to everyone's dreams and prayers and choses some to grant and some to ignore ?" I am paraphrasing ... but again don't see answers or responses ... just let your thoughts cook in her mind over the coming years and when she starts asking questions you just give honest answers. Also try to introduce a scientific way of thinking about the world around her, how evidence is important, how truth and logic are important.

Over time she will consciously and unconsciously process your views and those of your parents and along the way she will see that you live happily without religious beliefs, that there is nothing to fear, and feel safe to reduce and maybe eventually abandon these religious things eventually.

Sulla Felix

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Parents are always slated for forcing their religion on their children and not allowing them the freedom to make up their own minds, no more so than catholicism. Should the same not be applied here, forcing athiesm on a child and telling them that being a catholic is nonsense. You're just projecting your bias and opinions onto your child. You may believe its in the child's best interest and thats fair enough thats your choice as a parent, but as i said before, if there is no psycological or physical harm coming to the child as a result of saying their prayers at night or reading whatever holy book they're in to at night time, then I see no reason to step in and 'correct' their ways. IMO it'd just let it run its course.

Where is anyone advocating that?

yellowlabrador

My daughter started going to mass at 12. I think it was mainly because all her friends did and she was curious. She also went to communion. I only found out after a few months as she used to say she was at a friends house. I didn't fight it or make a fuss. I just encouraged her to think about things and I also pointed out she couldn't go to communion until she was officially a catholic and even suggested she go to catechism classes. We talked about catholic beliefs and dogmas and she decided herself she couldn't agree with a lot of it. I think talking to her friends about it and seeing that their belief wasn't very strong also helped. She dropped it after looking at other religions and decided she was an atheist. As atheists, most of us have come on a long journey, examining beliefs and deciding our selves we couldn't believe. We mustn't deny our children the same.

Piliger

Nerdlingr wrote: »

Parents are always slated for forcing their religion on their children and not allowing them the freedom to make up their own minds, no more so than catholicism.

And rightly so !

Should the same not be applied here, forcing athiesm on a child and telling them that being a catholic is nonsense.

What exactly is forcing Atheism ?

You're just projecting your bias and opinions onto your child.

What bias ? Atheism is a freedom from bias.

You may believe its in the child's best interest and thats fair enough thats your choice as a parent, but as i said before, if there is no psycological or physical harm coming to the child as a result of saying their prayers at night or reading whatever holy book they're in to at night time, then I see no reason to step in and 'correct' their ways. IMO it'd just let it run its course.

There is psychological harm for the child. She has been indoctrinated with fictional nonsense as a life-belief. She has been denied the opportunity to make her own mind up. Being a small child she has no capability yet of making her own mind up.

J C

Piliger wrote: »

What bias ? Atheism is a freedom from bias.

There is psychological harm for the child. She has been indoctrinated with fictional nonsense as a life-belief.

No comment necessary.

Piliger

J C wrote: »

No comment necessary.

Glad you see it as it is now.

Days 298

A 10 year old doesn't just become religious. It comes from an external source. It may be your parents. Id make sure to find that external source and make sure its clear that you don't want them to continue teaching faith to your daughter. It would be unfair for you to exert pressure in your daughter to drop religion. But you can explain why its a load of non sense. Its only fair when the external force is telling your daughter about Catholicism as fact. What 10 year old worries about their parents lack of faith? Clearly repeating something she is hearing elsewhere.

I know a lad who was raised in an atheist household. At 12 his aunt approached him and got him to join some type of church. He is now one of the most brainwashed conservatives you could meet. He has no friends outside of this church now. His life is church church church. He has nothing but his church. Hes 18 now and I dont know what he would do without religion now. All from his aunt just talking to him about Jesus 6 years ago.....

Turtwig

Mod: JC please don't post in this thread again. This is a thread about giving advice. It's not to meant to break into several different mini atheist/theist debates.

Ta,