Holy water gets rid of warts

cruhoortwunk · 31-10-2013 12:50PM #1

I don't go to mass or believe in all the bible type stuff.
But my granny told me to put holy water on the warts on my fingers back about 20 yrs ago. Didn't believe it would work, but did it to get her off me back. The warts were gone within a few weeks.
But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass. So went to Sunday mass.
Happened to have a tiny wary on the inside of one finger. So I spotted the holy water on the way out. Got a small bit and dabbed on the wart.
Gone within about 10 days.

howamidifferent · 31-10-2013 12:51PM

Probably killed off by all the fecal matter in the water font...

Evelyn Cusack · 31-10-2013 12:51PM

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

pundy · 31-10-2013 12:51PM

hmmmm......

Encrypted Pigeon · 31-10-2013 12:52PM

probably because of all the ammonia in it.

Jimoslimos · 31-10-2013 12:52PM

Regression to the mean

Sarky · 31-10-2013 12:52PM

Holy water is some of the filthiest liquid around. Pissing in it would make it purer.

197th User Id · 31-10-2013 12:53PM

Did it grow back 3 days later ?

WoollyRedHat · 31-10-2013 12:54PM

It's main use of course is to get rid of vampires, and because it's halloween, I have a lot of holy water stockpiled, so when they call to my door tonight I'll throw it at them, shout "Away damn vampires", and then throw garlic in their bags and stake them... BECAUSE I AM THE SLAYER

Duckworth_Luas · 31-10-2013 12:54PM

I was infested with ancient Assyrian demons and holy water got rid of them!

gobnaitolunacy · 31-10-2013 12:56PM

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

Piles of what?

wazky · 31-10-2013 12:58PM

I always stick a bit in the car radiator for goodluck, and window washers just to be sure.

Valetta · 31-10-2013 12:58PM

cruhoortwunk wrote: »

I don't go to mass .....

But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass.......

So went to Sunday mass.

Does Not Compute.

frozenfrozen · 31-10-2013 01:00PM

glad i dont have warts so i dont have to put up with all that religion shit so

shruikan2553 · 31-10-2013 01:22PM

Send the news to nigeria. Magnet guy can do a few tests on it.

wretcheddomain · 31-10-2013 01:24PM

Why can't they make Holy Beer? A beer that doesn't give you a hangover the next day; would be quite a profitable patent for the Church as well I would have thought.

iDave · 31-10-2013 01:26PM

Why cant it cure cancer or AIDS or is that beyond Gods capability (even though she invented them)?

maximoose · 31-10-2013 01:26PM

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Why can't they make Holy Beer? A beer that doesn't give you a hangover the next day; would be quite a profitable patent for the Church as well I would have thought.

What's the easiest way to get 40 litres of holy water and I'll brew a batch?

Definite cash cow.

BrensBenz · 31-10-2013 01:27PM

I had a wart once. I believed that if I stood in the rain, on a Wednesday, in a string vest and one sock while chanting the name of my cat, the wart would go away. Several years later, that wart was gone! Magic or what?

Open to correction but aren't Catholics the only Christian religion to include holy water in their rituals? If so, isn't it a bit mean of the Boss to allow all of the other Christian branches, not to mention all non-Christians, to suffer warts, piles, etc. with no remedy but a trip to their nearest Catholic church?

Also, and it has been a while but I don't remember any reference to holy water in the New Testament. Did JC actually say ....and I say unto you that whosoever suffereth the wart or pile, let him dip it into the holy water font at his local Catholic church." Or was that in one of the gospels omitted from the Bible that we're not supposed to talk about?

Sadly, I remember when holy water was SOLD.....from the sacristy!

wexie · 31-10-2013 01:28PM

I heard it can regrow hymens as well.

Or maybe that was KY jelly....

I forget

The Backwards Man · 31-10-2013 01:33PM

I had a couple of warts when I was young and water from a mountain spring got rid of them. Nothing holy about it.

Manach · 31-10-2013 01:45PM

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

Bog Standard User · 31-10-2013 02:00PM

warts on your finger??? dip your finger into hydrochloric acid... no more warts

c_man · 31-10-2013 02:04PM

I came home well plastered one night and accidentally knocked back Mam's bottle of Holy water from Knock. I was well sick the next day, holy me arse.

old hippy · 31-10-2013 02:04PM

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

Do explain. How are we annoying you on this fine day?

Jimoslimos · 31-10-2013 02:13PM

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

I was going with a lead string vest, but yeah now you mention it a concrete oversuit is this season's must have clothing item.

Overheal · 31-10-2013 02:17PM

http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/warts.asp

Kristopherus · 31-10-2013 02:18PM

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

What kind of weather will we have this winter?:D

greedygoblin · 31-10-2013 02:18PM

Bog Standard User wrote: »

warts on your finger??? dip your finger into hydrochloric acid... no more warts

No more finger either!

Hedgemeister · 31-10-2013 02:19PM

Best natural cure for warts - find a large limestone with a (rainwater filled) depression on it's surface and dip 'affected parts' in it.
It's something to do with sulpher in the limestone.
(Better still, chisel out a hand-size hole in a large limestone and wait for rain)
Worked for me and many others.
And 'tis free !

Femme_Fatale · 31-10-2013 02:22PM

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

I usually defend people's right to believe in a higher being, but there's a few peeps here who post incoherent blather like the above that would make John Waters/David Quinn blush. They always appear very angry and hostile too - not very Christ-like.

Holy water gets rid of warts

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