Holy water gets rid of warts

cruhoortwunk

I don't go to mass or believe in all the bible type stuff.
But my granny told me to put holy water on the warts on my fingers back about 20 yrs ago. Didn't believe it would work, but did it to get her off me back. The warts were gone within a few weeks.
But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass. So went to Sunday mass.
Happened to have a tiny wary on the inside of one finger. So I spotted the holy water on the way out. Got a small bit and dabbed on the wart.
Gone within about 10 days.

howamidifferent

Probably killed off by all the fecal matter in the water font...

Evelyn Cusack

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

pundy

hmmmm......

Encrypted Pigeon

probably because of all the ammonia in it.

Jimoslimos

Regression to the mean

Sarky

Holy water is some of the filthiest liquid around. Pissing in it would make it purer.

197th User Id

Did it grow back 3 days later ?

WoollyRedHat

It's main use of course is to get rid of vampires, and because it's halloween, I have a lot of holy water stockpiled, so when they call to my door tonight I'll throw it at them, shout "Away damn vampires", and then throw garlic in their bags and stake them... BECAUSE I AM THE SLAYER

Duckworth_Luas

I was infested with ancient Assyrian demons and holy water got rid of them!

gobnaitolunacy

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

Piles of what?

wazky

I always stick a bit in the car radiator for goodluck, and window washers just to be sure.

Valetta

cruhoortwunk wrote: »

I don't go to mass .....

But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass.......

So went to Sunday mass.

Does Not Compute.

frozenfrozen

glad i dont have warts so i dont have to put up with all that religion shit so

shruikan2553

Send the news to nigeria. Magnet guy can do a few tests on it.

wretcheddomain

Why can't they make Holy Beer? A beer that doesn't give you a hangover the next day; would be quite a profitable patent for the Church as well I would have thought.

iDave

Why cant it cure cancer or AIDS or is that beyond Gods capability (even though she invented them)?

maximoose

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Why can't they make Holy Beer? A beer that doesn't give you a hangover the next day; would be quite a profitable patent for the Church as well I would have thought.

What's the easiest way to get 40 litres of holy water and I'll brew a batch?

Definite cash cow.

BrensBenz

I had a wart once. I believed that if I stood in the rain, on a Wednesday, in a string vest and one sock while chanting the name of my cat, the wart would go away. Several years later, that wart was gone! Magic or what?

Open to correction but aren't Catholics the only Christian religion to include holy water in their rituals? If so, isn't it a bit mean of the Boss to allow all of the other Christian branches, not to mention all non-Christians, to suffer warts, piles, etc. with no remedy but a trip to their nearest Catholic church?

Also, and it has been a while but I don't remember any reference to holy water in the New Testament. Did JC actually say ....and I say unto you that whosoever suffereth the wart or pile, let him dip it into the holy water font at his local Catholic church." Or was that in one of the gospels omitted from the Bible that we're not supposed to talk about?

Sadly, I remember when holy water was SOLD.....from the sacristy!

wexie

I heard it can regrow hymens as well.

Or maybe that was KY jelly....

I forget

The Backwards Man

I had a couple of warts when I was young and water from a mountain spring got rid of them. Nothing holy about it.

Manach

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

Bog Standard User

warts on your finger??? dip your finger into hydrochloric acid... no more warts

c_man

I came home well plastered one night and accidentally knocked back Mam's bottle of Holy water from Knock. I was well sick the next day, holy me arse.

old hippy

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

Do explain. How are we annoying you on this fine day?

Jimoslimos

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

I was going with a lead string vest, but yeah now you mention it a concrete oversuit is this season's must have clothing item.

Overheal

http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/warts.asp

Kristopherus

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Oh it's a fact, it gets rid of piles too if you soak a sponge in it then tape it on

What kind of weather will we have this winter?:D

greedygoblin

Bog Standard User wrote: »

warts on your finger??? dip your finger into hydrochloric acid... no more warts

No more finger either!

Hedgemeister

Best natural cure for warts - find a large limestone with a (rainwater filled) depression on it's surface and dip 'affected parts' in it.
It's something to do with sulpher in the limestone.
(Better still, chisel out a hand-size hole in a large limestone and wait for rain)
Worked for me and many others.
And 'tis free !

Femme_Fatale

Manach wrote: »

One would presume that any form of divine assistance would need to pierce the shelf of self-regard that encase the typical modern, which in the case of alot of AH posters, is akin to a concrete oversuit.

I usually defend people's right to believe in a higher being, but there's a few peeps here who post incoherent blather like the above that would make John Waters/David Quinn blush. They always appear very angry and hostile too - not very Christ-like.

Pumpkinseeds

My brother had some warts on his hand when he was a teenager, I read somewhere that if a person with warts accepted money in exchange for selling them, that they would disappear. I bought them for a penny and they were gone within a week. Strange but true.:)

lertsnim

cruhoortwunk wrote: »

I don't go to mass or believe in all the bible type stuff.
But my granny told me to put holy water on the warts on my fingers back about 20 yrs ago. Didn't believe it would work, but did it to get her off me back. The warts were gone within a few weeks.
But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass. So went to Sunday mass.
Happened to have a tiny wary on the inside of one finger. So I spotted the holy water on the way out. Got a small bit and dabbed on the wart.
Gone within about 10 days.

Same thing happened to me 25 years ago. Hands full of warts gone after dipping them in holy water.

Ghost Buster

Its a terrible shame that these holy cures only work on ailments which will likely clear up over time. It a shame they cant go the extra miracle mile an regrow limbs or the like.

Wibbs

I seem to recall research that showed hypnosis was often effective for warts. The person in the relaxed state would be asked to concentrate and imagine them falling off and in many cases they would disappear soon after. With some rare cases they could even specify which particular wart. So the placebo effect of holy water and all that jazz would be a form of suggestion too

old hippy

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

I usually defend people's right to believe in a higher being, but there's a few peeps here who post incoherent blather like the above that would make John Waters/David Quinn blush. They always appear very angry and hostile too - not very Christ-like.

Indeed, I'd never heard of him until today when he popped up on a thread I'd started and posted some angry insults at me (nothing to do with the topic) and then disappeared. Kind of like a drive by slagging

Anyways on topic - I would defend peoples's rights to believe in a deity or deities if that's their thing. I would be sceptical about whether a dab of H20 can cure warts but maybe it's like a placebo effect?

strobe

maximoose wrote: »

What's the easiest way to get 40 litres of holy water and I'll brew a batch?

Definite cash cow.

There's an Irish priest who was just excommunicated for a dog eating the holy bread... no, really.
http://touch.boards.ie/thread/2057056754/1

Having recently found himself unemployed he may be looking for a few nixers. Google him and give him a bell.

Calibos

I had a multi year wart and got a nasty cut beside it one day. Wart was gone within a fortnight.

Warts are a virus that hides from the immune system. Get a cut near it and your immune system floods the area with antibodies to ward off infection at the wound site. Wart virus gets caught in the crossfire.

So little cut on your finger or raw fingernail quik. Dip it in fecal,urine,piss,semen contaminated holywater and bobs your uncle. No more wart.

shruikan2553

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Its a terrible shame that these holy cures only work on ailments which will likely clear up over time. It a shame they cant go the extra miracle mile an regrow limbs or the like.

God works in mysterious ways

B.A._Baracus

Oh, a religious thread in after hours?

Athiests are already jerking off with anticipation of being smug :pac:

MadsL

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Why can't they make Holy Beer? A beer that doesn't give you a hangover the next day; would be quite a profitable patent for the Church as well I would have thought.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trappist_beer

Shh!!!

Ghost Buster

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Oh, a religious thread in after hours?

Athiests are already jerking off with anticipation of being smug :pac:

Its a medical thread.
BTW The 'smug' bit usually precedes the atheistic posts as in this case.

Tugboats

Any truth that fanny juice cures acne?

Ghost Buster

Tugboats wrote: »

Any truth that fanny juice cures acne?

By the time I got close to a wet one in my thirties I had few spots. Must be something in it.

Knight who says Meh

Ghost Buster wrote: »

Its a medical thread.
BTW The 'smug' bit usually precedes the atheistic posts as in this case.

Nothing makes me more smug than being labelled smug in a thread before the first trace of smugness has been shown.

Its the smugness infinity loop:eek:

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

I seem to recall research that showed hypnosis was often effective for warts. The person in the relaxed state would be asked to concentrate and imagine them falling off and in many cases they would disappear soon after. With some rare cases they could even specify which particular wart. So the placebo effect of holy water and all that jazz would be a form of suggestion too

Not even hypnosis, just simply not concentrating on it/forgetting it was there. Used to have one or two warts on my hands, which stayed there for as long as I focused on them. Once I stopped, they just vanished without me ever realizing.

Knight who says Meh

Deleted User wrote: »

Not even hypnosis, just simply not concentrating on it/forgetting it was there. Used to have one or two warts on my hands, which stayed there for as long as I focused on them. Once I stopped, they just vanished without me ever realizing.

But warts often clear up on their own over time. The common thread running through many of these posts is
'I did (insert cure here) and after a few days/weeks my warts cleared up.'

Perhaps time cures warts!!!!!

Calibos

Knight who says Meh wrote: »

But warts often clear up on their own over time. The common thread running through many of these posts is
'I did (insert cure here) and after a few days/weeks my warts cleared up.'

Perhaps time cures warts!!!!!

My anecdote was a personal theory of mine for many years subsequently confirmed by the scientific community in a double blind study. ha!!

Toby Take a Bow

cruhoortwunk wrote: »

I don't go to mass or believe in all the bible type stuff.
But my granny told me to put holy water on the warts on my fingers back about 20 yrs ago. Didn't believe it would work, but did it to get her off me back. The warts were gone within a few weeks.
But the other day I was at the in-laws, keeping up the pretense that I go to mass. So went to Sunday mass.
Happened to have a tiny wary on the inside of one finger. So I spotted the holy water on the way out. Got a small bit and dabbed on the wart.
Gone within about 10 days.

Coincidence, OP.

Grayson

Toby Take a Bow wrote: »

Coincidence, OP.

Or he's going to hell because he avoids going to mass.

Toby Take a Bow

Grayson wrote: »

Or he's going to hell because he avoids going to mass.

He says he doesn't go to mass, but he clearly does.