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Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

1356714

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Good wedding. Tired today but all good otherwise.

    Good sober dance too !


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Up nice and early today.


    Looking forward to a nice Sunday and relaxation.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Passed the weekend anyways - it was tough one.

    Looking forward to a meeting tomorrow evening.


  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Up nice and early today.


    Looking forward to a nice Sunday and relaxation.

    Did some work from home and cooked myself some dinner etc. And I just felt so content that I wasn't sitting in a pub talking the same sh*t to the same people again and again. just saying!! :-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 234 ✭✭Orlaw3136


    Good wedding. Tired today but all good otherwise.

    Good sober dance too !

    That's fantastic - delighted for you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Going through a pretty tough patch last couple of days. Few things annoying me and I need to get them sorted.

    I have my finger on one thing now so just need to sort it - basically it's planning my week ahead. Literally writing down what I need to do each day and also the same in work. It sounds simple but I have never done it and I guess it's a way of getting order to your life. Some people can work away without a list but not me.

    I suppose I'm a pretty determined person and I get down and out when I don't achieve basic things due to slacking off and laziness. I was listening to a doctor on radio this morning talk about addictions. Lots of different reasons but one word that really got me thinking and why I'm writing the above is RESPONSIBILITY. Only I can do achieve that. So I need to take responsibility for my life. Only I can do that.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    If you are still following the AA program, you will find directions on how to begin (and end) each day here:
    When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

    On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

    In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

    http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_86.htm

    Sounds like you are doing great, how many days off the sauce now?


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    If you are still following the AA program, you will find directions on how to begin (and end) each day here:



    http://anonpress.org/bb/Page_86.htm

    Sounds like you are doing great, how many days off the sauce now?


    Not since last slip I mentioned on here.

    I don't think I'm doing great really. Really need to plan my day more and even plan ahead to achieve certain landmarks.

    Sorry just in wicked form today tbh


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Not since last slip I mentioned on here.

    I don't think I'm doing great really. Really need to plan my day more and even plan ahead to achieve certain landmarks.

    Sorry just in wicked form today tbh

    That's why we don't encourage too much thinking in your first year, lol, we are better judges of how great you are doing at this stage, trust me.
    And you are doing great, despite how you feel.

    I remember an old AA pal told me : "the same mind that kept you drinking is the same mind you have now. In other words, your mind lies to you and wants you drinking again, which means it wants you dead".
    Heard other variations on this over the years, like, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, it's not safe to go in there alone" ;)

    What have you been doing?
    Going to meetings still, if so how often?
    How did the meet up with your potential sponsor go? (and yes, I am nosy, lol)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    That's why we don't encourage too much thinking in your first year, lol, we are better judges of how great you are doing at this stage, trust me.
    And you are doing great, despite how you feel.

    I remember an old AA pal told me : "the same mind that kept you drinking is the same mind you have now. In other words, your mind lies to you and wants you drinking again, which means it wants you dead".
    Heard other variations on this over the years, like, "My mind is like a bad neighborhood, it's not safe to go in there alone" ;)

    What have you been doing?
    Going to meetings still, if so how often?
    How did the meet up with your potential sponsor go? (and yes, I am nosy, lol)

    Noisy house mate coming in at 3 in the morning has me awake. :-(

    Ya I went to three this week. I literally can't go to anymore due to work and part time college.

    I gave him number but he didn't ring me so kinda mad with that but he took it down on piece of paper so reckon he lost it. Hopefully try get number of some one for him and give him a buzz


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    PS will probably move house later in month as really hate where I live. #nipitinthebud


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Well, he (sponsor) ought to make an appearance at his group, no?
    Or does he not belong to one?

    Just keep on keepin on.

    "This too shall pass".


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    Well, he (sponsor) ought to make an appearance at his group, no?
    Or does he not belong to one?

    Just keep on keepin on.

    "This too shall pass".

    He goes to the one I go during the day meeting as it's not his local. But I'm not going to day meetings these days as in work again. I'll sort it - downloaded another good app there and find it great.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Have to say making weekly plans and adding to it as you go along is a great job - put some order to your life! You do so much more as well. That with the prayer in the morning.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Planning and praying going well for me.

    Even life in general going well and no prizes for guessing why.

    Positives:
    Not tired
    Getting my work done in work properly and on time
    In a good mood with gf
    In a good mood with work colleagues
    Can tolerate people
    Enjoying planning
    Achieved my weekly number 1 goal
    Looking forward to week ahead
    Being positive
    Not being negative


    Negatives:
    This is where complacency kicks in
    Feeling of sure I'm grand

    I can't actually think of anymore.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 183 ✭✭doledude86


    Being following your progress the last few weeks, you should be very proud of yourself for wanting to change, life is all about learning from mistakes, so take your time and have patience with your journey.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    doledude86 wrote: »
    Being following your progress the last few weeks, you should be very proud of yourself for wanting to change, life is all about learning from mistakes, so take your time and have patience with your journey.

    Thanks Dude!:)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Ya life is about learning from your mistakes and also being disciplined.

    Something I need to become better at and bite my tongue!
    For example: I need exercise, stop eating certain hours before going to bed, getting a good sleep as a result, eating healthy, making a plan, being assertive, not reacting to people and simply walking away.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    I think I need to lay off the booze. Been pretty much drinking every night for a few months. Before, a bottle of wine was enough. Now, its two if they are there or plough into the OH's beer when I'm finished. Getting up is agony. I'm on autopilot until about 1pm. I have zero concentration and comprehension skills - to the point that I found myself wondering if I had had a mini stroke at some point :( No money for the important things in life - "ah sure this Lidl shiraz is only 6 euro!" - but doesnt it add up?

    Something of a turning point last night when I was on the way home from college and my friend asked me what had been covered in he first lecture, as he had missed it. I couldnt tell him! It was less than two hours since we'd finished it and my mind was just blank!

    I just hope I haven't done irreparable damage to my cognitive and memory skills. On the dry last night and bounced out of bed this morning. Practically cartwheeled into work - I didn't realise how sh1t I'd been feeling!


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  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    I think I need to lay off the booze. Been pretty much drinking every night for a few months. Before, a bottle of wine was enough. Now, its two if they are there or plough into the OH's beer when I'm finished. Getting up is agony. I'm on autopilot until about 1pm. I have zero concentration and comprehension skills - to the point that I found myself wondering if I had had a mini stroke at some point :( No money for the important things in life - "ah sure this Lidl shiraz is only 6 euro!" - but doesnt it add up?

    Something of a turning point last night when I was on the way home from college and my friend asked me what had been covered in he first lecture, as he had missed it. I couldnt tell him! It was less than two hours since we'd finished it and my mind was just blank!

    I just hope I haven't done irreparable damage to my cognitive and memory skills. On the dry last night and bounced out of bed this morning. Practically cartwheeled into work - I didn't realise how sh1t I'd been feeling!

    Memory improves in time but it takes a while. Why not give a break for a while and see how you get on? If you can't take a break on it then maybe you have to look at it more seriously.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,569 ✭✭✭Fingers Mcginty


    Memory improves in time but it takes a while. Why not give a break for a while and see how you get on? If you can't take a break on it then maybe you have to look at it more seriously.

    Are you sure about that. I thought once the ould brain cells were killed that was that. ? :)


  • Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Are you sure about that. I thought once the ould brain cells were killed that was that. ? :)

    My short term memory was awful and has definitely improved since giving up.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Exercise going well and eating well.

    Drive into town tonight for meal with gf and up early again to exercise.

    Happy out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    My short term memory was awful and has definitely improved since giving up.

    It is reversible according to this and many other articles I've read on the subject:

    ''Is [cognitive] Impairment Reversible?
    Certain alcohol-related cognitive impairment is reversible with abstinence (17). Newly detoxified adult alcoholics often exhibit mild yet significant deficits in some cognitive abilities, especially problem-solving, short-term memory, and visuospatial abilities (18). By remaining abstinent, however, the recovering alcoholic will continue to recover brain function over a period of several months to 1 year (19)—with improvements in working memory, visuospatial functioning, and attention—accompanied by significant increases in brain volume, compared with treated alcoholics who have subsequently relapsed to drinking (18).''

    Full article here. Warning - it's not for the faint hearted.

    http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/alerts/l/blnaa53.htm


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    hubba wrote: »
    It is reversible according to this and many other articles I've read on the subject:

    ''Is [cognitive] Impairment Reversible?
    Certain alcohol-related cognitive impairment is reversible with abstinence (17). Newly detoxified adult alcoholics often exhibit mild yet significant deficits in some cognitive abilities, especially problem-solving, short-term memory, and visuospatial abilities (18). By remaining abstinent, however, the recovering alcoholic will continue to recover brain function over a period of several months to 1 year (19)—with improvements in working memory, visuospatial functioning, and attention—accompanied by significant increases in brain volume, compared with treated alcoholics who have subsequently relapsed to drinking (18).''

    Full article here. Warning - it's not for the faint hearted.

    http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/alerts/l/blnaa53.htm

    I think ones body can put up with a lot of bad **** (within reason) and once given time it has an amazing ability to recover.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Feeling good today and plenty gym work involved which really has made a huge difference to me - my confidence, clear head, energy levels. IMO it's essential really.

    Gym work is running, rowing machine and some leg work. Mainly running as I want to lose some weight but overall it's a great experience. Once you get your gear together the night before it's no hassle. i.e don't give yourself any excuses!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    Good. And you are at the perfect age to do just that, the benefits are tremendous and the longer term health benefits are worth their weight in gold.

    You will have the time to improve, repair the damage already caused and reap the benefits of healthier middle age.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    hubba wrote: »
    It is reversible according to this and many other articles I've read on the subject:

    ''Is [cognitive] Impairment Reversible?
    Certain alcohol-related cognitive impairment is reversible with abstinence (17). Newly detoxified adult alcoholics often exhibit mild yet significant deficits in some cognitive abilities, especially problem-solving, short-term memory, and visuospatial abilities (18). By remaining abstinent, however, the recovering alcoholic will continue to recover brain function over a period of several months to 1 year (19)—with improvements in working memory, visuospatial functioning, and attention—accompanied by significant increases in brain volume, compared with treated alcoholics who have subsequently relapsed to drinking (18).''

    Full article here. Warning - it's not for the faint hearted.

    http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/alerts/l/blnaa53.htm[/QUOTE]

    Several months to one year? :mad: Sh1t. Thought I was good not drinking since Sunday :) Miss it, but certainly feel so much better. Not half as blue as I usually am, and waking naturally before my alarm, time for breakfast and dog walk! Can actually concentrate in work and at lectures!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    Are you sure about that. I thought once the ould brain cells were killed that was that. ? :)

    Yes, once thought to be the case. May still be true for some areas of the brain, memory holes may never get filled but we do regenerate at least some brain cells.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,055 ✭✭✭Red Nissan


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Several months to one year? :mad: Sh1t. Thought I was good not drinking since Sunday :) Miss it, but certainly feel so much better. Not half as blue as I usually am, and waking naturally before my alarm, time for breakfast and dog walk! Can actually concentrate in work and at lectures!

    One of the least understood relationships with Alcohol is it's hangover period. A hangover period can last more than 24hrs, it can stretch to several days and even a week.

    A drink induced sleep is akin to a coma and no productive sleep is achieved thus a drunk person sleeping over night may awake with effectively no sleep at all.

    One good night's natural sleep might shake off a lot of post alcohol symptoms and a feeling of well-being will usually result as you are reporting.

    Alcohol damage is cumulative, smoking damage is usually permanent, both are laid down over a number of years and they take many years to recover from. A pre middle aged [35] person can expect to make a full recovery, post middle age the damage may be manageable and the recovery longer.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    Red Nissan wrote: »
    One of the least understood relationships with Alcohol is it's hangover period. A hangover period can last more than 24hrs, it can stretch to several days and even a week.

    A drink induced sleep is akin to a coma and no productive sleep is achieved thus a drunk person sleeping over night may awake with effectively no sleep at all.

    One good night's natural sleep might shake off a lot of post alcohol symptoms and a feeling of well-being will usually result as you are reporting.

    Alcohol damage is cumulative, smoking damage is usually permanent, both are laid down over a number of years and they take many years to recover from. A pre middle aged [35] person can expect to make a full recovery, post middle age the damage may be manageable and the recovery longer.

    I'm 30 so I hope I have received my wakeup call on time. I got a fright a week ago when a classmate asked what we had covered in a lecture (2 hours before) and I was totally blank about it! There's no way I can keep up the pace and get a first as I had planned if I keep drinking!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    I'm 30 so I hope I have received my wakeup call on time. I got a fright a week ago when a classmate asked what we had covered in a lecture (2 hours before) and I was totally blank about it! There's no way I can keep up the pace and get a first as I had planned if I keep drinking!


    A good diet and tough exercise is crucial. Exercise is great for clearing the mind and it will focus you better in lectures and work. It will also make you sleep like a bear. Sleeping was always one of my bete noir. Wakening up worrying and then wakening up the following day wrecked after being in bed ten hours! I still wake up a bit but not as much.

    You see all these rugby players for example playing/training week in week out and then you hear an interview on them and they say they have just finished a degree in bla bla bla. It's because they are focussed but to be focussed you need keep your body in good shape physically as well as mentally.

    Some people can manage without it but I certainly can't.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    A good diet and tough exercise is crucial. Exercise is great for clearing the mind and it will focus you better in lectures and work. It will also make you sleep like a bear. Sleeping was always one of my bete noir. Wakening up worrying and then wakening up the following day wrecked after being in bed ten hours! I still wake up a bit but not as much.

    You see all these rugby players for example playing/training week in week out and then you hear an interview on them and they say they have just finished a degree in bla bla bla. It's because they are focussed but to be focussed you need keep your body in good shape physically as well as mentally.

    Some people can manage without it but I certainly can't.

    Yeah I think there are huge advantages. Last year when I was on study leave, I had ten full days off before exams. I was eating really healthily (not dieting but loads of fish, protein, nuts etc) and exercising in the morning and I could easily study 10 hours a day - and a productive ten hours at that! It's like I was turbo charged and firing on all cylinders lol. I used to joke that I was a machine - bounce out of bed, cartwheel into exam, run home, back to the books. Was amazing. After a summer of boozing and laziness my brain is like mush. So, I think I will probably stay off it full stop, reading here. I was just cutting down to weekends but maybe even that is not a good idea? (for now anyway)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Yeah I think there are huge advantages. Last year when I was on study leave, I had ten full days off before exams. I was eating really healthily (not dieting but loads of fish, protein, nuts etc) and exercising in the morning and I could easily study 10 hours a day - and a productive ten hours at that! It's like I was turbo charged and firing on all cylinders lol. I used to joke that I was a machine - bounce out of bed, cartwheel into exam, run home, back to the books. Was amazing. After a summer of boozing and laziness my brain is like mush. So, I think I will probably stay off it full stop, reading here. I was just cutting down to weekends but maybe even that is not a good idea? (for now anyway)

    It's totally up to you -
    What i find with study is if you have the groundwork done during the year and you are nearly up to date with what is going on in lectures - you are on the front foot straight away coming up to exams and you can go into auto pilot then because you know exactly what you need to do (like you did last year). So you just need to replicate what positive things you did last year. Also take into account subjects could be harder/less interesting this year and you might not get away with the same workload this year!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,468 ✭✭✭✭OldNotWIse


    It's totally up to you -
    What i find with study is if you have the groundwork done during the year and you are nearly up to date with what is going on in lectures - you are on the front foot straight away coming up to exams and you can go into auto pilot then because you know exactly what you need to do (like you did last year). So you just need to replicate what positive things you did last year. Also take into account subjects could be harder/less interesting this year and you might not get away with the same workload this year!!

    Was well off a first last year at 62, 8% is a lot to make up at that level, but last year I drank right up until near the end so maybe that's my 8% lol:D


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    OldNotWIse wrote: »
    Was well off a first last year at 62, 8% is a lot to make up at that level, but last year I drank right up until near the end so maybe that's my 8% lol:D

    If you believe you can do it you will!


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Exercise is going great - going to meetings not so great. I'm a bit fed up as ita hard to get one with few men in it without being outnumbered by the ladies. There is a subtle difference how the meeting goes.

    I was talking to someone last week and something they said really stuck a chord. They said that they would do whatever it takes to improve their appearance abs hence confidence.

    So I have gone overboard as usual and did a list of stuff to do. Clean teeth, new clothes, shoes and other bits and bobs and thrown out old clothes. Might sound silly but makes a difference as not big into shopping too often!

    I've also gonna start toast master thing next week to improve my public speaking and hence confidence.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    There are men's meetings if you feel that strongly about the issue.

    And as this thread (and others) confirm, AA is not the only way. However, for those who are in AA, beginning to make excuses for not getting to meetings is often a common theme amongst those who later wonder 'what the hell happened' when they end up back out again.
    Just my experience. And often it's when we are 'doing great' again, (back to luxurious thoughts about 'abs' perhaps, lol) in life in general, that the desperation that drove us to go there in the first place begins to evaporate. The holiday season is beginning soon, pressure to attend parties and other events with drink will be mounting, might be a good idea to stay closer to meetings and sober folk as opposed to not.

    It's funny you mention Toastmasters. I've often said that meetings were better than Toastmasters for public speaking training, haha.

    Still, good luck with whatever road you choose, but watch that ole head of yours, remember it was your thinking plus your drinking that got you to the doors of AA in the first place ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    I don't mind the mixed meetings at all but if it's ratio of 90:10 I get less out of them.

    I've started improving my appearance and doin more exercise. It great for improving your confidence and hence life will be bit easier.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Have to say since I started posting here my life has changed for the better.

    I'm more aware of what I want in life. Not always plain sailing but better.

    One thing I noticed during week is if you are surrounded by good people it makes such a difference. Or put it another way people that had same outlook as you. Something to work on.

    Becoming less caring of what others think to a certain extent and tried stopped bitching about people for the way they do stuff. None of my business. Just need to put the head down.

    I haven't gone to meeting in a while - maybe I should but I don't feel it. I know people will give out to me on here but that life.

    Sorted myself out with loads of vitamins today. Expensive business but worth it I think.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 174 ✭✭KeefF


    Have to say since I started posting here my life has changed for the better.

    I'm more aware of what I want in life. Not always plain sailing but better.

    One thing I noticed during week is if you are surrounded by good people it makes such a difference. Or put it another way people that had same outlook as you. Something to work on.

    Becoming less caring of what others think to a certain extent and tried stopped bitching about people for the way they do stuff. None of my business. Just need to put the head down.

    I haven't gone to meeting in a while - maybe I should but I don't feel it. I know people will give out to me on here but that life.

    Sorted myself out with loads of vitamins today. Expensive business but worth it I think.

    Sounds like things are going well buddy. Well done!!
    I'm in work at 7 am on a Monday morning - some turn around/says it all.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    KeefF wrote: »
    Sounds like things are going well buddy. Well done!!
    I'm in work at 7 am on a Monday morning - some turn around/says it all.


    I wasn't quite seven but half seven. Well done you bet me. The competitive streak is coming out on the actual me :-)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Anyone ever considering joining the Pioneer association?

    I like what they are about. Absolute temperance on your behalf and providing a helping hand to those in need and advocating moderation.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    Have to say since I started posting here my life has changed for the better.

    I'm more aware of what I want in life. Not always plain sailing but better.

    One thing I noticed during week is if you are surrounded by good people it makes such a difference. Or put it another way people that had same outlook as you. Something to work on.

    Becoming less caring of what others think to a certain extent and tried stopped bitching about people for the way they do stuff. None of my business. Just need to put the head down.

    I haven't gone to meeting in a while - maybe I should but I don't feel it. I know people will give out to me on here but that life.

    Sorted myself out with loads of vitamins today. Expensive business but worth it I think.

    See, here's what is funny, and what I (and perhaps others) can see, but you can't.
    You asked for help here, you went to AA, you wanted to start getting into the program, getting a sponsor, etc, etc. But that was when you were still feeling down/bad, and that 'gift of desperation' was still active, the pain still fresh.
    Now, after a few weeks of sobriety, you are feeling better, and it seems now you think going to meetings was too drastic a move perhaps, lol?
    Not an uncommon sequence of events with newcomers, one I've witnessed manys a time.
    What I am saying is this: don't delude yourself into thinking myself or anyone here will be 'scolding' you, like a child, for not going to meetings. AA is for people that want it; it's a choice. I am grateful I choose to stick with it, as it has worked for me for 12 years and counting. But (as I've said loads) it is far from the only game in town.

    I wish you well with your choices :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    See, here's what is funny, and what I (and perhaps others) can see, but you can't.
    You asked for help here, you went to AA, you wanted to start getting into the program, getting a sponsor, etc, etc. But that was when you were still feeling down/bad, and that 'gift of desperation' was still active, the pain still fresh.
    Now, after a few weeks of sobriety, you are feeling better, and it seems now you think going to meetings was too drastic a move perhaps, lol?
    Not an uncommon sequence of events with newcomers, one I've witnessed manys a time.
    What I am saying is this: don't delude yourself into thinking myself or anyone here will be 'scolding' you, like a child, for not going to meetings. AA is for people that want it; it's a choice. I am grateful I choose to stick with it, as it has worked for me for 12 years and counting. But (as I've said loads) it is far from the only game in town.

    I wish you well with your choices :)

    I know - I'll go on Saturday morning to the steps. They are the ones I get most out of.


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Amazingfun wrote: »
    See, here's what is funny, and what I (and perhaps others) can see, but you can't.
    You asked for help here, you went to AA, you wanted to start getting into the program, getting a sponsor, etc, etc. But that was when you were still feeling down/bad, and that 'gift of desperation' was still active, the pain still fresh.
    Now, after a few weeks of sobriety, you are feeling better, and it seems now you think going to meetings was too drastic a move perhaps, lol?
    Not an uncommon sequence of events with newcomers, one I've witnessed manys a time.
    What I am saying is this: don't delude yourself into thinking myself or anyone here will be 'scolding' you, like a child, for not going to meetings. AA is for people that want it; it's a choice. I am grateful I choose to stick with it, as it has worked for me for 12 years and counting. But (as I've said loads) it is far from the only game in town.

    I wish you well with your choices :)

    What are the other alternatives to AA that your referring to?


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    What are the other alternatives to AA that your referring to?

    Lifering, Aware, Rational recovery, church based recovery groups, etc, etc....loads of options about these days.

    I can only speak for AA as being something that works, due to my own experience, but certainly no one is trapped in it, for as they say "the door swings both ways" ;)


  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    My two words for today and weekend ahead - triggers and prayer.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,161 ✭✭✭Amazingfun


    My two words for today and weekend ahead - triggers and prayer.

    Prayer is a good tool I've found, often saves me from myself and my negative "committee" of voices that reside in my head:P

    Triggers? Some of my former drinking "triggers" included breathing, days that end in "Y", lol. I didn't fully cop to this until a guy I heard speak asked the people in the room to raise our hands if we related to the following:

    Him: Do you drink when you're sad? (hands raised).
    Do you drink when you're happy? (hands raised).
    Do you drink when you have a good relationship? (hands raised)
    Do you drink when you're all alone/single? (hands raised)
    Do you drink when you have money? (hands raised)
    Do you drink when you're broke? (hands raised)!
    Suddenly it dawned on me that I drank no matter what the external situation was. It was what they call a "aha moment".

    You are done with drink, as am I, as are many of us who want permanent sobriety. This is why we talk of "we" in the "we admitted we were powerless over alcohol", no one fares well on their own. Stick with the pack, safety in numbers ;)

    There is no "trigger", real or imagined, that can cause any alkie to start drinking again. That includes murders, former abuse, relationship troubles, job loss and even moments as seemingly trivial as losing a wallet (yes I've heard it!).
    There are however many who attempt to use certain events/happenings like these to justify their slips. None of these ever really make any sense in light of what drinking again produces in their lives, and the disappointment and stress back into the lives of those they profess to love.

    Beware the mind that wants desperately to provide a "reason" for a return to drink. Try to stay "in the day", and talk to others if you need to.

    Ps: Good luck this weekend with whatever event is causing this worry?
    Remember: this too shall pass.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 543 ✭✭✭Carpet diem


    Its a work thing but i LL keep strong and beware of the "reckless" me peeping out.

    Good advice thou. Ha I can totally agree with running out of money and you still go drinking and wakening up the next day with only few euro to do you for next few days. Absolutely stupid stuff.


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