Stupid things work makes you do...

newmug · 23-10-2013 08:54PM

^^^^ The thread is supposed to be about STUPID things work makes you do, not good / cool things:P

MadsL · 23-10-2013 08:54PM

godtabh wrote: »

I've 3 degrees and happy to use them when it helps the cause. Have participated in engineers week a few times. Last time was teaching kids how to build helicopters out of paper. They got as much out of it as I did. Was a good day

When will they see you again?

mattjack · 23-10-2013 09:01PM

MadsL wrote: »

When will they see you again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6fVDAjs9f0

tatli_lokma · 23-10-2013 09:03PM

Just remembered another one..

Head office sent us posters to be put in the jacks on the importance of checking your pee to be sure you're not dehydrated! The tag line was 'if it's light you're alright!'. There was a pyramid diagram on the poster with varying shades of yellow advising which shade of yellow is okay and which shade means you need to drink more water. The scary thing is there is a team in the UK who got paid a lot more money that the rest of us to come up with this brainwave!! Piss poor carry on!

wexie · 23-10-2013 09:03PM

I was sat around / sightseeing in Budapest for 2 days cause it would be to expensive (300euro) to change my flights to go to a different job.
Hotel was 150 a night + food and they charge minimum of 1000 a day for me.

Somehow I was the only one to see the flaw in their maths.

Budapest is nice though

godtabh · 23-10-2013 09:15PM

MadsL wrote: »

When will they see you again?

thankfully none of them are in english

MadsL · 23-10-2013 09:16PM

Egészségedre!!!

MadsL · 23-10-2013 09:18PM

godtabh wrote: »

thankfully none of them are in english

Or in Gelotology.

wexie · 23-10-2013 09:23PM

MadsL wrote: »

Egészségedre!!!

Some beers may have been had

MadsL · 23-10-2013 09:24PM

wexie wrote: »

Some beers may have been had

Did you remember not to clink glasses....?

Ihatecuddles-old · 23-10-2013 09:27PM

This isnt stupid and I really enjoyed it.

I used to work in my local supervalu when I was 17. We had a regular customer who was in a wheelchair, one staff member got to go home with him and help him but his groceries away. I loved doing it, he was lovely, great for a chat and I used to stay for ages drinking tea

wexie · 23-10-2013 09:30PM

MadsL wrote: »

Did you remember not to clink glasses....?

I don't think there was any clinking glasses, more of a holding them up in the air like they'd do in Austria or Germany.

(why, is that considered rude?)

MadsL · 23-10-2013 09:30PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

This isnt stupid and I really enjoyed it.

I used to work in my local supervalu when I was 17. We had a regular customer who was in a wheelchair, one staff member got to go home with him and help him but his groceries away. I loved doing it, he was lovely, great for a chat and I used to stay for ages drinking tea

Drinking tea. Yeah.

MadsL · 23-10-2013 09:33PM

wexie wrote: »

I don't think there was any clinking glasses, more of a holding them up in the air like they'd do in Austria or Germany.

(why, is that considered rude?)

Yes, there is an urban legend in Hungarian culture that Austrian generals clinked their beer glasses to celebrate the execution of the 13 Martyrs of Arad in 1849. Many people still follow the tradition, although younger people often disavow it, citing that the vow was only meant to last 150 years...

...or so Wikipedia says. I've never seen too much clinking.

Lennyzip · 23-10-2013 09:34PM

newmug wrote: »

I worked in a certain factory a few years ago. My boss at the time was one of the stupidest people I've ever met, he was so thick he'd make Dougal off Fr. Ted look intelligent.

Anyway, one day this bigshot American fella was coming over to visit our site. Now, the boss was more interested in making himself look good than actually getting any work done. So he rang me up:

Boss: Newmug, I want you to stop working where you are in Bay 108, and head over to Bay 10 on the other side, it'll look better if there's somebody there.
Me: No problem. But just to let you know, there's a machine here that's down and needs to be sorted, whereas there's nothing to be done in Bay 10. If I leave here, there'll be nobody here working on this machine.
Boss: JUST STOP ARGUING AND DO WHAT I'M ****IN ASKIN YA!!!

So off I went. The American came, wondered why production was stopped, and went straight to the broken machine in Bay 108. My boss rang me up again, asking why the machine wasn't working. I told him that that's what I was trying to explain to him before he moved me. The stupid cnut was nearly crying, I'd loved to have seen his face.

Sounds a lot like Intel when I worked there , sorry for blowing your cover :-)

Feathers · 23-10-2013 10:09PM

Timesheets — my week is made up of either 1) work for the client, 2) work for the department or 3) sick days/holidays. They assign me the hours to the client/department each week, holidays are booked in advance & sick days are marked in their calendar when you call in.

What the hell is the point of me entering timecodes & clocking hours against them each week when they know it all beforehand anyway! :rolleyes:

Tzardine · 23-10-2013 10:11PM

I was once made to drive from Dublin to Belfast to pick up some paperwork because the company would not pay €10 for postage.

Cost well over €70 in fuel and tolls.

For Forks Sake · 23-10-2013 10:13PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Today I had to wear a badge telling everyone it was important to wash their hands.

I'll wager good money that you probably don't work in a hospital.

Timothy Bryce · 23-10-2013 10:38PM

Cover sheets for my TPS Reports

Stheno · 23-10-2013 10:43PM

BNMC wrote: »

You have a wife?

He does, she is allergic to cigarette smoke, and as a reformed smoker, and given that his wife becomes seriously ill when inhaling second hand smoke, he is seriously averse to smoking.

Outside of that, sometimes Mads, it's good to do arcane stuff, I'd betcha your wifes companies objective is for her and her colleagues to discover their inner child.

@ Lennyzip, I bet on Intel too lol and I didn't even work there, but know many who did

My work have recently decided that as I work with clients I should wear a stupid badge with my name on it so they don't forget it.

I mean ffs we work together for days, I introduce myself with an indepth bio, what the hell is a badge with my name going to do, but ruin my lovely outfit?

MadsL · 23-10-2013 10:45PM

Timothy Bryce wrote: »

Cover sheets for my TPS Reports

If you could go ahead and do that, that would be just great...

MadsL · 23-10-2013 10:48PM

Stheno wrote: »

He does, she is allergic to cigarette smoke, and as a reformed smoker, and given that his wife becomes seriously ill when inhaling second hand smoke, he is seriously averse to smoking.

*backs away and slips off the safety*

Outside of that, sometimes Mads, it's good to do arcane stuff, I'd betcha your wifes companies objective is for her and her colleagues to discover their inner child.

My wife once said she murdered her inner child at the age of 10 in response to some corporate bullsh.t about getting in touch with it.

Clondalphian · 23-10-2013 10:59PM

Had to file hundreds of application forms in alphabetical order to prepare and place them back on the shelf until they're shredded

MadsL · 23-10-2013 11:05PM

My company once hired an unpaid intern and had them spend three weeks with a €25 shredder that kept jamming and overheating shredding old files because they were too mean to call an on-site shredding service.

whirlpool · 23-10-2013 11:06PM

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

You just keep making it sound more hilarious!

tatli_lokma wrote: »

Yeah, nothing says hilarious team building exercise like people dying! Lol

Wtf is up with both of your user names?

I swear I've seen emails from both of you in my junkmail folder asking me to transfer a million euro into nigerian bank accounts while popping generic viagra.

saltyjack silverblade · 23-10-2013 11:31PM

whirlpool wrote: »

Wtf is up with both of your user names?

I swear I've seen emails from both of you in my junkmail folder asking me to transfer a million euro into nigerian bank accounts while popping generic viagra.

It is my pirate name I will have you know, that some pirate name generator came up with online.
I have never worked in a Nigerian bank. My bank account is some money kept in an old sock behind the radiator in the kitchen. I did work for a computer company in India that was hired by Microsoft to phone all Irish customers several months ago.
How about you? I believe I have seen your name on a washing machine. On some level this has to be trademark infringement.

Stheno · 23-10-2013 11:33PM

MadsL wrote: »

*backs away and slips off the safety*

My wife once said she murdered her inner child at the age of 10 in response to some corporate bullsh.t about getting in touch with it.

No need to worry, I just remember you on the banning smoking thread, it was kinda hard to ignore

She murdered her inner child? Do ye never regress to being kids and having fun for the sake of it?

L1011 · 23-10-2013 11:41PM

Due to having the biggest company van, I used to get frequently sent to move boxes to and from the companies storage unit. As in more than once weekly at one point.

Its an IT company. I'm the senior engineer. Multiple thousands a month of billable time is pissed down the drain doing this. This was amongst the list of reasons why Friday is my last day there.

LisaLee · 24-10-2013 03:14AM

A workbook..

Stupid things work makes you do...

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