Stupid things work makes you do...

MadsL · 23-10-2013 06:34PM #1

So my wife (well qualified with a Masters in Finance) is today taking part in her company's "Day of Service". She's being expected to teach kids how to hula-hoop. :rolleyes:

What utter nonsense does your company get you doing?

BNMC · 23-10-2013 06:37PM

You have a wife?

Merkin · 23-10-2013 06:38PM

Makes me get out of bed at 8.15 on weekdays when I'd prefer to lounge in bed until some time in the afternoon having sex, drinking bubbly and eating curly wurlys.

MadsL · 23-10-2013 06:39PM

BNMC wrote: »

You have a wife?

Last time I checked...

...any tips on getting her pissed for €2?

TPD · 23-10-2013 06:41PM

Merkin wrote: »

Makes me get out of bed at 8.15 on weekdays when I'd prefer to lounge in bed until some time in the afternoon having sex, drinking bubbly and eating curly wurlys.

That sounds like a really good way to spend an afternoon. Curlywurlys are often the forgotten treat.

keith16 · 23-10-2013 06:43PM

BNMC wrote: »

You have a wife?

No, he said knife. He has a knife.

Hitchens · 23-10-2013 06:46PM

BNMC wrote: »

You have a wife?

wonders never cease

Fr_Dougal · 23-10-2013 06:56PM

MadsL wrote: »

So my wife (well qualified with a Masters in Finance) is today taking part in her company's "Day of Service". She's being expected to teach kids how to hula-hoop. :rolleyes:

What utter nonsense does your company get you doing?

Your wife is having an affair.

Merkin · 23-10-2013 06:56PM

TPD wrote: »

That sounds like a really good way to spend an afternoon. Curlywurlys are often the forgotten treat.

Five for a quid in my local shop at present, BARGAIN

BNMC · 23-10-2013 07:26PM

MadsL wrote: »

Last time I checked...

...any tips on getting her pissed for €2?

Ask Maddie McCann.

newmug · 23-10-2013 07:51PM

I worked in a certain factory a few years ago. My boss at the time was one of the stupidest people I've ever met, he was so thick he'd make Dougal off Fr. Ted look intelligent.

Anyway, one day this bigshot American fella was coming over to visit our site. Now, the boss was more interested in making himself look good than actually getting any work done. So he rang me up:

Boss: Newmug, I want you to stop working where you are in Bay 108, and head over to Bay 10 on the other side, it'll look better if there's somebody there.
Me: No problem. But just to let you know, there's a machine here that's down and needs to be sorted, whereas there's nothing to be done in Bay 10. If I leave here, there'll be nobody here working on this machine.
Boss: JUST STOP ARGUING AND DO WHAT I'M ****IN ASKIN YA!!!

So off I went. The American came, wondered why production was stopped, and went straight to the broken machine in Bay 108. My boss rang me up again, asking why the machine wasn't working. I told him that that's what I was trying to explain to him before he moved me. The stupid cnut was nearly crying, I'd loved to have seen his face.

dazed+confused · 23-10-2013 08:01PM

MadsL wrote: »

So my wife (well qualified with a Masters in Finance) is today taking part in her company's "Day of Service". She's being expected to teach kids how to hula-hoop. :rolleyes:

What utter nonsense does your company get you doing?

I am running a 6-week course for Transition Years at the minute through my company's Corporate Social Responsibility scheme. I am getting paid time off work to do it and I am getting to do something totally different to my normal working day. The scheme was optional and we could pick any class from Junior Infants to 6th year.

No matter how well qualified I am, I can see the benefit of handing down knowledge to someone that appreciates it.

tiger55 · 23-10-2013 08:03PM

Makes me work boxing day every year:mad:

funt cucker · 23-10-2013 08:06PM

I teach idiots how to do statistical engineering.

Horrid Henry · 23-10-2013 08:06PM

tiger55 wrote: »

Makes me work boxing day every year:mad:

You're forced to travel to the UK and work on Stephen's Day?

Horrific.

tatli_lokma · 23-10-2013 08:06PM

Most stupid thing a company I worked for did was think that a team building reward day in a hospice was a good idea! We were told we were going on a team building to a mystery location and arrived at the hospice. To say it was a downer is an understatement. The fools didn't even give any consideration to two members of staff who had lost loved ones to cancer in the last 6 months, and there we were, in a hospice with very very sick people and expected to enjoy ourselves helping to plant the garden

Now don't get me wrong, acts of kindness are great, and if we had been asked would we like to volunteer I am fairly sure quite a lot of people would have happily obliged. But to make out like we were going paintballing or some other such team building event and then spring it on us was a really bad idea. We were supposed to be having a party that night, understandably hardly anyone had the heart to go. We all wanted to spend time with our families. We all felt like we had contributed something worthwhile, but it was a very sombre occasion nonetheless.

saltyjack silverblade · 23-10-2013 08:31PM

tatli_lokma wrote: »

Most stupid thing a company I worked for did was think that a team building reward day in a hospice was a good idea! We were told we were going on a team building to a mystery location and arrived at the hospice. To say it was a downer is an understatement. The fools didn't even give any consideration to two members of staff who had lost loved ones to cancer in the last 6 months, and there we were, in a hospice with very very sick people and expected to enjoy ourselves helping to plant the garden

Now don't get me wrong, acts of kindness are great, and if we had been asked would we like to volunteer I am fairly sure quite a lot of people would have happily obliged. But to make out like we were going paintballing or some other such team building event and then spring it on us was a really bad idea. We were supposed to be having a party that night, understandably hardly anyone had the heart to go. We all wanted to spend time with our families. We all felt like we had contributed something worthwhile, but it was a very sombre occasion nonetheless.

This is hilarious! :pac:

MadsL · 23-10-2013 08:34PM

dazed+confused wrote: »

I am running a 6-week course for Transition Years at the minute through my company's Corporate Social Responsibility scheme. I am getting paid time off work to do it and I am getting to do something totally different to my normal working day. The scheme was optional and we could pick any class from Junior Infants to 6th year.

No matter how well qualified I am, I can see the benefit of handing down knowledge to someone that appreciates it.

Oh, I get that. She'd have no issue at all if she could run a free course for a local charity on say Succession Planning, Evaluating Training Effectiveness or Fiscal Modelling.

...but teaching kids how to hula-hoop? What a waste of an opportunity.

MadsL · 23-10-2013 08:35PM

funt cucker wrote: »

I teach idiots how to do statistical engineering.

What percentage of them could form a human pyramid?

tatli_lokma · 23-10-2013 08:36PM

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

This is hilarious! :pac:

Can you imagine our faces? There we were on the bus laughing and joking, in our jeans and casual gear (we were told to wear comfy shoes!) Trying to guess what exciting place we were headed to and then we pull up at a hospice!! :eek: and I should add, the average staff age was about 26, so it was far from the adventurous event we expected!

saltyjack silverblade · 23-10-2013 08:38PM

tatli_lokma wrote: »

Can you imagine our faces? There we were on the bus laughing and joking, in our jeans and casual gear (we were told to wear comfy shoes!) Trying to guess what exciting place we were headed to and then we pull up at a hospice!! :eek: and I should add, the average staff age was about 26, so it was far from the adventurous event we expected!

You just keep making it sound more hilarious!

stoneill · 23-10-2013 08:38PM

funt cucker wrote: »

I teach idiots how to do statistical engineering.

I bet you put the FUN into Fundamental Statistics!

McChubbin · 23-10-2013 08:41PM

keith16 wrote: »

No, he said knife. He has a knife.

That's not a knife! That's a spoon!

tatli_lokma · 23-10-2013 08:45PM

saltyjack silverblade wrote: »

You just keep making it sound more hilarious!

Yeah, nothing says hilarious team building exercise like people dying! Lol

mattjack · 23-10-2013 08:46PM

MadsL wrote: »

Last time I checked...

...any tips on getting her pissed for €2?

Yep , hand gel full of alcohol , from Polish/Russian shops at one euro a litre .
Cant guarantee her eyesight or stomach though and you should have an interesting night.

MadsL · 23-10-2013 08:46PM

McChubbin wrote: »

That's not a knife! That's a spoon!

I see you have played knifey-spooney before!

23-10-2013 08:49PM

Today I had to wear a badge telling everyone it was important to wash their hands.

funt cucker · 23-10-2013 08:49PM

MadsL wrote: »

What percentage of them could form a human pyramid?

About 5% are real go getters and usually end up shítting one everyone else on the pyramid.

returnNull · 23-10-2013 08:50PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Today I had to wear a badge telling everyone it was important to wash their hands.

a toilet attendant?

23-10-2013 08:51PM

returnNull wrote: »

a toilet attendant?

The tips and the free chupa chups make it worth it.

godtabh · 23-10-2013 08:52PM

I've 3 degrees and happy to use them when it helps the cause. Have participated in engineers week a few times. Last time was teaching kids how to build helicopters out of paper. They got as much out of it as I did. Was a good day

Stupid things work makes you do...

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