Do women fart on nights out?

Tugboats · 15-10-2013 01:53AM #1

Just home from a night on the beer. I've been farting for hours and my arse stinks. What would happen if I pulled a bird? All the women I saw tonight in short skirts does their arse stink on a night out or is it just me?

Smidge · 15-10-2013 01:55AM

No they save it all up till they get home and then they self combust.

Vicar in a tutu · 15-10-2013 02:19AM

Women don't fart. End of.

Timmyctc · 15-10-2013 02:20AM

That was probably the funniest thread title I've read on boards

JJayoo · 15-10-2013 02:20AM

Tugboats wrote: »

What would happen if I pulled a bird?

I don't think you have to worry about this happening.

The Backwards Man · 15-10-2013 02:26AM

Women also sh1te.

Sorry to break it to you OP

Drodan · 15-10-2013 02:30AM

ButtersSuki · 15-10-2013 03:18AM

Are we talking rear or "front bottom" farts? I've experienced both from "laydeez"........

April O Neill · 15-10-2013 03:33AM

We do indeed.

But for some odd reason, men always seen to get blamed for the stinkers. Apparently, men fart MORE, but women's farts tend to be smellier. (BBC article a few months back that I can't find right now) So it's more likely that that stinker in the pub came from betwixt the arse cheeks of a member of the "fairer sex". :pac:

MadsL · 15-10-2013 04:15AM

Wimmins fart unicorns and rainbows, and kitties in pink ribbons.

Everyone knows that.

rustedtrumpet · 15-10-2013 06:24AM

Youve got me thinking about the women who I serve copious amounts of guiness and smithwicks to in my pub... (mostly from the country)

princess-lala · 15-10-2013 06:59AM

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

Ted_YNWA · 15-10-2013 07:02AM

this thread is gas.

BBDBB · 15-10-2013 08:01AM

princess-lala wrote: »

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

a proper gentleman would offer to do that for you:cool:

deco nate · 15-10-2013 08:04AM

princess-lala wrote: »

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

My kinda lady.. Dips hat to you..
My lady(sniff.. Sniff) Wot?
I smell eggs...

princess-lala · 15-10-2013 09:07AM

deco nate wrote: »

I smell eggs...

Highly unlikely! Only scent down there is roses!!

anncoates · 15-10-2013 09:54AM

A controlled experiment would answer this, OP.

Stand behind random women in the pub with a lighter held up to their arse until you see the tell tale blue flare.

biko · 15-10-2013 10:09AM

jimgoose · 15-10-2013 10:13AM

As evry fule no, women don't fart - they don't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure.

<badum-TISH!!>

:D:D

D-FENS · 15-10-2013 10:17AM

Tugboats wrote: »

I've been farting for hours and my arse stinks.

A simple, logical and honest statement

Wattle · 15-10-2013 11:16AM

That's why they all go to the jacks together. Mass farting session.

elfy4eva · 15-10-2013 11:18AM

No they don't fart at all. They let it build up inside till it's
forced to come out their mouth.

That's why they talk such sh*te.

Legs.Eleven · 15-10-2013 11:24AM

My fart comes out like a flirtatious, girlish giggle.

Crooked Jack · 15-10-2013 11:29AM

farting's nothing. I once sat on the kerb beside a girl outside a nightclub. She was sittin on her own and didnt seem to be able to talk or anything. I thought she might have been drugged or lost or something. Wasnt she pishing in the drain below the kerb.

Aglomerado · 15-10-2013 12:51PM

Wattle wrote: »

That's why they all go to the jacks together. Mass farting session.

It's like the wind section of an orchestra. And it's hungry work too, so they store what look like unwrapped Lion Bars and Toffee Crisps in the toilet bowls for later. Or Maltesers.

Savoir.Faire · 15-10-2013 01:21PM

I was at an annual hunt ball in Thomastown in Kilkenny a good number of years ago. I remember I was regaling a number of my fellow guests with a yarn about a time a friend of mine ended up taking a shot at his own dog, such was his hangover one Sunday morning while he was out on the hunt.

When I got to the punchline of the story, a very pretty petite lady who was not even part of the conversation, but who was obviously eavesdropping on the conversation, let out a hearty burst of laughter at the punchline. The subsequent belly-aching obviously stirred something loose, as she also let out an even louder belt of flatulence.

It sounded like a Royal Irish machine gunner trying to halt the advance of German troops at flanders! It had similarly robust whiff of game from it too!

Somehow the episode endeared the young girl in my eyes and we became very good friends that night!

Rented Mule · 15-10-2013 01:50PM

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

Women don't fart. End of.

LIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celly Smunt · 15-10-2013 02:01PM

They just cough in their knickers.

Blitzkrieger · 15-10-2013 03:11PM

April O Neill wrote: »

So it's more likely that that stinker in the pub came from betwixt the arse cheeks of a member of the "fairer sex". :pac:

You mean I was blaming Peter all night and it was probaly the barmaid?

The next time my eyes start watering in a pub I'm blaming the nearest female....

April O Neill · 15-10-2013 03:41PM

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

You mean I was blaming Peter all night and it was probaly the barmaid?

The next time my eyes start watering in a pub I'm blaming the nearest female....

When you think about it, it *is* totally sexist and ridiculous that men always get the blame for stinkers!

Santa Cruz · 15-10-2013 04:23PM

The secret is to drop one near a group of girls and move off smartly. Watch them from a distance looking at each trying to identify the culprit

Do women fart on nights out?

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