Do women fart on nights out?

Tugboats

Just home from a night on the beer. I've been farting for hours and my arse stinks. What would happen if I pulled a bird? All the women I saw tonight in short skirts does their arse stink on a night out or is it just me?

Smidge

No they save it all up till they get home and then they self combust.

Vicar in a tutu

Women don't fart. End of.

Timmyctc

That was probably the funniest thread title I've read on boards

JJayoo

Tugboats wrote: »

What would happen if I pulled a bird?

I don't think you have to worry about this happening.

The Backwards Man

Women also sh1te.

Sorry to break it to you OP

Drodan

ButtersSuki

Are we talking rear or "front bottom" farts? I've experienced both from "laydeez"........

April O Neill

We do indeed. But for some odd reason, men always seen to get blamed for the stinkers. Apparently, men fart MORE, but women's farts tend to be smellier. (BBC article a few months back that I can't find right now) So it's more likely that that stinker in the pub came from betwixt the arse cheeks of a member of the "fairer sex". :pac:

MadsL

Wimmins fart unicorns and rainbows, and kitties in pink ribbons.

Everyone knows that.

rustedtrumpet

Youve got me thinking about the women who I serve copious amounts of guiness and smithwicks to in my pub... (mostly from the country)

princess-lala

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

Ted_YNWA

this thread is gas.

BBDBB

princess-lala wrote: »

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

a proper gentleman would offer to do that for you:cool:

deco nate

princess-lala wrote: »

*facepalm*

Dude seriously, women don't fart! We cough in our knickers!

My kinda lady.. Dips hat to you..
My lady(sniff.. Sniff) Wot?
I smell eggs...

princess-lala

deco nate wrote: »

I smell eggs...

Highly unlikely! Only scent down there is roses!!

anncoates

A controlled experiment would answer this, OP.

Stand behind random women in the pub with a lighter held up to their arse until you see the tell tale blue flare.

biko

jimgoose

As evry fule no, women don't fart - they don't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up pressure.



<badum-TISH!!> :D:D

D-FENS

Tugboats wrote: »

I've been farting for hours and my arse stinks.

A simple, logical and honest statement

Wattle

That's why they all go to the jacks together. Mass farting session.

elfy4eva

No they don't fart at all. They let it build up inside till it's
forced to come out their mouth.

That's why they talk such sh*te.

Legs.Eleven

My fart comes out like a flirtatious, girlish giggle.

Crooked Jack

farting's nothing. I once sat on the kerb beside a girl outside a nightclub. She was sittin on her own and didnt seem to be able to talk or anything. I thought she might have been drugged or lost or something. Wasnt she pishing in the drain below the kerb.

Aglomerado

Wattle wrote: »

That's why they all go to the jacks together. Mass farting session.

It's like the wind section of an orchestra. And it's hungry work too, so they store what look like unwrapped Lion Bars and Toffee Crisps in the toilet bowls for later. Or Maltesers.

Savoir.Faire

I was at an annual hunt ball in Thomastown in Kilkenny a good number of years ago. I remember I was regaling a number of my fellow guests with a yarn about a time a friend of mine ended up taking a shot at his own dog, such was his hangover one Sunday morning while he was out on the hunt.

When I got to the punchline of the story, a very pretty petite lady who was not even part of the conversation, but who was obviously eavesdropping on the conversation, let out a hearty burst of laughter at the punchline. The subsequent belly-aching obviously stirred something loose, as she also let out an even louder belt of flatulence.

It sounded like a Royal Irish machine gunner trying to halt the advance of German troops at flanders! It had similarly robust whiff of game from it too!

Somehow the episode endeared the young girl in my eyes and we became very good friends that night!

Rented Mule

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

Women don't fart. End of.

LIES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Celly Smunt

They just cough in their knickers.

Blitzkrieger

April O Neill wrote: »

So it's more likely that that stinker in the pub came from betwixt the arse cheeks of a member of the "fairer sex". :pac:

You mean I was blaming Peter all night and it was probaly the barmaid?

The next time my eyes start watering in a pub I'm blaming the nearest female....

April O Neill

Blitzkrieger wrote: »

You mean I was blaming Peter all night and it was probaly the barmaid?

The next time my eyes start watering in a pub I'm blaming the nearest female....

When you think about it, it *is* totally sexist and ridiculous that men always get the blame for stinkers!

Santa Cruz

The secret is to drop one near a group of girls and move off smartly. Watch them from a distance looking at each trying to identify the culprit

Savoir.Faire

My advice to a man or woman who has just emitted a high-pitched musing from between one's cheeks is to hold up your hands and admit to your indiscretion. Trying to cover up your crime just isn't going to work, and will mark you out as someone not to be trusted. You can take the heat out of the situation by issuing a pithy response, such as, "that's a confident appeal by the Australians", "My apologies, I appear to have stepped on a duck", "must be last orders at the bar", "an excellent theory, Dr Watson".

Fart

I can confirm first hand that they do fart on nights out.

WindSock

No

chestylaroux

I am female. Let's just say I sleep with my window open so I don't die in my overnight.

Sigourney

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

Women don't fart. End of.

Women might, but ladies don't.

*Sniff*

wuzziwig

I fart like a trooper after beer. Not so much after vodka.

Hoddie

Women dont fart? Sounds fishey to me:)

flutered

Vicar in a tutu wrote: »

Women don't fart. End of.

ever heard of fanny farts, ask the oh.

Femme_Fatale

Are any men turned on by women farting or by the idea of it? It does seem to cause fascination among some of the fellas here.

elfy4eva wrote: »

No they don't fart at all. They let it build up inside till it's
forced to come out their mouth.

That's why they talk such sh*te.

Wouldn't it be gas we talk rather than sh1te?

Howard Juneau

Femme_Fatale wrote: »

Are any men turned on by women farting or by the idea of it? It does seem to cause fascination among some of the fellas here.

Wouldn't it be gas we talk rather than sh1te?

I believe (from what females repeatedly tell us) that women can multitask....so I presume you can do both at once....hence the phrase..."talking shíte"

aujopimur

This thread reminds me of the day at the Q in Super Value, I noticed a girl in front whisper to her friend "did you fart?", just then I remembered the bag of dogsh1t I had put into my pocket earlier when talking the dogs for a walk .

Ihatecuddles-old

I fart very rarely, like every few months, maybe 4. I know that sounds crazy but its true,

My friends are always letting them rip, I just burp a lot because Im classy like that.

suicide_circus

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I fart very rarely, like every few months, maybe 4. I know that sounds crazy but its true,

My friends are always letting them rip, I just burp a lot because Im classy like that.

You fart only every few months? Seem medical attention quickly.
I'd say your arse sounds like a Honda 50 idling when youre asleep.

IvaBigWun

I like to imagine all girls farts smell like rose petals in springtime in the South of France

Ihatecuddles-old

suicide_circus wrote: »

You fart only every few months? Seem medical attention quickly.
I'd say your arse sounds like a Honda 50 idling when youre asleep.

Everyone says that but anyone Ive asked says I dont fart in my sleep and they wouldnt lie!

Ive said it to my doctor before, he just said its normal, some people just rarely fart!

Legs.Eleven

Sign of a healthy arse. This lot *point finger out the window at the Spanish* fart all the time and they live forever. All the lentils and chickpeas and beans in their diet, you see. The more you fart, the longer you live. Fact.


Oooor it could mean you've IBS.

Gremlinertia

http://i.imgur.com/QMBIPtd.jpg

czechlin

Ha I'm just after seeing this, gas!

http://www.breakingnews.ie/discover/this-fart-stopping-underwear-has-the-weirdest-advertising-possible-610995.html