If you could swap gender for a day

Cee-Jay-Cee · 14-10-2013 02:51PM

I'd get up and try on every single piece of clothing in my wardrobe and then end up putting back on the first item I tried on. Then I'd drive into town oblivious of traffic lanes pedestrians or cyclists and talk and text on my phone the entire journey. I'd then find a parking spot which my car clearly won't fit in and spend 5 minutes trying to reverse into it holding up traffic only to give up and drive further along the street till I find an empty bus parking space and park badly in it instead. I'd meet my girl friends for coffee and bitch about everyone I know and everyone passing by our table. Coffee would run into lunch and further into afternoon coffee. Afterwards I'd go back to my car and argue with the traffic warden that I didn't realise I needed a ticket and throw a tantrum and maybe even cry if I think it'll help. I'd eventually leave town and head home with my headlights on full beam and my rear fog lights on even though it's a clear bright day and only 4pm. When I get home I'd break my key in the lock and have to ring Laura's husband Jim and ask him if he can pop over and help me out. Once Jim gets me into the house I'd plonk myself in front of the tv and ring my friends to bitch about how busy and tired I am and how there aren't enough hours in the day to get stuff done. After my dinner I'd have a few glasses of wine just to unwind from my hectic day and lifestyle.

petes · 14-10-2013 02:54PM

I'd make sandwiches...lots of sandwiches so when I turned back I'd have lots of sandwiches to make up for not being able to squeeze my own boobs anymore.

canadianwoman · 14-10-2013 02:55PM

petes wrote: »

I'd make sandwiches...lots of sandwiches so when I turned back I'd have lots of sandwiches to make up for not being able to squeeze my own boobs anymore.

You'd be too busy squeezing your own boobs to make sandwiches methinks.

14-10-2013 02:55PM

Lyaiera wrote: »

I love these two. I pause on them and wonder if they're men or women and which would make it more disgusting.

Bloke here, wouldn't be trying to wrap the auld foreskin around €1 coins, 5c are about the best it can take. Even then I know how much can fit in there, around €2.40.

canadianwoman · 14-10-2013 02:56PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Bloke here, wouldn't be trying to wrap the auld foreskin around €1 coins, 5c are about the best it can take. Even then I know how much can fit in there, around €2.40.

This was best left unsaid. :P

Anyone · 14-10-2013 02:57PM

Scissors the Mrs

Howard Juneau · 14-10-2013 02:58PM

Anyone wrote: »

Scissors the Mrs

She loves that i hear!

herisson · 14-10-2013 03:03PM

Pee standing up, have a **** and just do windmills.

14-10-2013 03:04PM

canadianwoman wrote: »

This was best left unsaid. :P

What's your record?

Rud · 14-10-2013 03:05PM

I'd pull the box off myself all day long

josip · 14-10-2013 03:13PM

Find out what empathy is like

Muise... · 14-10-2013 03:14PM

Rud wrote: »

I'd pull the box off myself all day long

:eek:

do you have trouble with push/pull doors too?

14-10-2013 03:33PM

CJC999 wrote: »

I'd get up and try on every single piece of clothing in my wardrobe and then end up putting back on the first item I tried on. Then I'd drive into town oblivious of traffic lanes pedestrians or cyclists and talk and text on my phone the entire journey. I'd then find a parking spot which my car clearly won't fit in and spend 5 minutes trying to reverse into it holding up traffic only to give up and drive further along the street till I find an empty bus parking space and park badly in it instead. I'd meet my girl friends for coffee and bitch about everyone I know and everyone passing by our table. Coffee would run into lunch and further into afternoon coffee. Afterwards I'd go back to my car and argue with the traffic warden that I didn't realise I needed a ticket and throw a tantrum and maybe even cry if I think it'll help. I'd eventually leave town and head home with my headlights on full beam and my rear fog lights on even though it's a clear bright day and only 4pm. When I get home I'd break my key in the lock and have to ring Laura's husband Jim and ask him if he can pop over and help me out. Once Jim gets me into the house I'd plonk myself in front of the tv and ring my friends to bitch about how busy and tired I am and how there aren't enough hours in the day to get stuff done. After my dinner I'd have a few glasses of wine just to unwind from my hectic day and lifestyle.

I'd choke on the green bile of my bitterness.

Lyaiera · 14-10-2013 03:38PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Bloke here, wouldn't be trying to wrap the auld foreskin around €1 coins, 5c are about the best it can take. Even then I know how much can fit in there, around €2.40.

Foreskin euros? Sure that's amateur mode. ¬_¬

JanaMay · 14-10-2013 03:46PM

To be honest, I'd more than likely spend most of the day doing the elephant trick for anyone who'd care to see it....and probably for some who wouldn't.

As Legs.Eleven suggested, I'd probably try an oul willy helicopter or two as well.

Great craic!

14-10-2013 04:03PM

I suppose I'd have a go at doing The Predator.

iDave · 14-10-2013 04:26PM

So I'm thinking buy a pair of stilettos, show 'em of to the girloz and take their compliments. Idolise them and go out in them. Then end the night cranky that their sore and walk home in bare feet.

folan · 14-10-2013 04:33PM

break the glass ceiling! and play golf.

14-10-2013 04:33PM

Walk around with my hands down my trousers all day

gerrybbadd · 14-10-2013 04:34PM

I'd have the bean flicked off myself.

folan · 14-10-2013 04:36PM

bluewolf wrote: »

Walk around with my hands down my trousers all day

whats stopping you now?

gerrybbadd · 14-10-2013 04:36PM

Pixie-Fairy wrote: »

Pee standing up, have a **** and just do windmills.

Windmills? Helic¤ck?

fryup · 14-10-2013 04:43PM

i'd love to be a sexy woman for a day and purposely drive the men crazy like this....:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-HC38alVoY

Stojkovic · 14-10-2013 05:05PM

If I could be a woman for a day......I'd be a right ****.

MarriedButBi · 14-10-2013 05:17PM

Oooh, cool thread. I would definitely be extremely promiscuous. If I was a woman for 24 hours I would want to experience as many man as possible, in as many situations as possible.

Let me see. I would get myself some very nice clothes, a flattering business suit, skirt, fitted shirt and short jacket. No bra. I would then flirt my ass off with as many guys as possible, in shops, cafes, train stations etc etc.

Anyone that came onto me and looked good, I would suggest that I give them a BJ, and if they were well hung I would let them service me.

I would manufacture a meet up with guys I know that are total sluts, and give them the opportunity to pick me up, just to see what sort of a sexual partner they are.

Just one thing...when I change back, do the (inevitable) STD's disappear..???

Basically, I would have an awful lot of fun. If I was a minger, or could not score, I would buy some yogurt to massage into my tits, and I would see how many different types of fruit and veg I could pleasure myself with.

14-10-2013 05:18PM

Um...

princess-lala · 14-10-2013 05:24PM

MarriedButBi wrote: »

Oooh, cool thread. I would definitely be extremely promiscuous. If I was a woman for 24 hours I would want to experience as many man as possible, in as many situations as possible.

Let me see. I would get myself some very nice clothes, a flattering business suit, skirt, fitted shirt and short jacket. No bra. I would then flirt my ass off with as many guys as possible, in shops, cafes, train stations etc etc.

Anyone that came onto me and looked good, I would suggest that I give them a BJ, and if they were well hung I would let them service me.

I would manufacture a meet up with guys I know that are total sluts, and give them the opportunity to pick me up, just to see what sort of a sexual partner they are.

Just one thing...when I change back, do the (inevitable) STD's disappear..???

Basically, I would have an awful lot of fun. If I was a minger, or could not score, I would buy some yogurt to massage into my tits, and I would see how many different types of fruit and veg I could pleasure myself with.

Well someone has put alot of thought into this!

iDave · 14-10-2013 05:25PM

MarriedButBi wrote: »

Oooh, cool thread. I would definitely be extremely promiscuous. If I was a woman for 24 hours I would want to experience as many man as possible, in as many situations as possible.

Let me see. I would get myself some very nice clothes, a flattering business suit, skirt, fitted shirt and short jacket. No bra. I would then flirt my ass off with as many guys as possible, in shops, cafes, train stations etc etc.

Anyone that came onto me and looked good, I would suggest that I give them a BJ, and if they were well hung I would let them service me.

I would manufacture a meet up with guys I know that are total sluts, and give them the opportunity to pick me up, just to see what sort of a sexual partner they are.

Just one thing...when I change back, do the (inevitable) STD's disappear..???

Basically, I would have an awful lot of fun. If I was a minger, or could not score, I would buy some yogurt to massage into my tits, and I would see how many different types of fruit and veg I could pleasure myself with.

Okayyyyyy....starting to regret this thread

Howard Juneau · 14-10-2013 05:26PM

iDave wrote: »

Okayyyyyy....starting to regret this thread

You've finished fapping?

Lad Of Banter · 14-10-2013 05:26PM

I have the legs and penis of a man, the beer gut like a pregnant woman, moobs closer to boobs, a hairy back and crack, a manly face with a womanly voice and am bald on top but with a ponytail out of what remains, im so confused

If you could swap gender for a day

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