Whats the hardest situation you've gone through in life

Wattle · 09-10-2013 12:29AM

Double whammy of alcoholism and depression. Just being lost and frightened and wanting to kill myself for years. I hit rock bottom eventually and had a kind of terrifying vision of how much worse things were going to get. I guess I got scared of my own darkness. How I got better was looking after myself and getting involved in things that appeal to me. I know through experience what keeps me well and what doesn't. I know that sounds simplistic but it's what works.

pharmaton · 09-10-2013 12:34AM

sounds like you are doing all the right things Op, and plenty of perspective in this thread too. I'd be much like yourself and make an effort to be around people, I'll take up activities (even if it's just going for a walk) I try to take regular exercise, watch what I eat and yeah meditate, I'm not great at it but I'll often leave some guided tracks or some podcast from a discussion on in the background and listen to it while I'm doing other stuff. Basically things that will help redirect my focus elsewhere. Getting my dog really dragged me out of a bad place years ago, she can be a pain in the arse at times but I talked to her when I couldn't talk to anyone else. (or just cuddled her) Lots of different things, sometimes they don't do anything, sometimes one thing works and the other doesn't, but as long as you keep trying eventually you figure out something that works for you.

ulinbac · 09-10-2013 12:35AM

SimonQuinlank wrote: »

I've struggled with depression and anxiety for about 10 years now,nothing (meds,CBT) seems to work in relieving either for more then a month or two.

Anxiety and confidence is pretty terrible at the moment,its a struggle to walk down the street somedays.Had to get off the bus this evening and walk home because I could feel an attack coming on.

Have you tried meditation? Works wonders for myself

molly09 · 09-10-2013 12:36AM

I find every day so difficult to be honest, in bed crying at the minute, life is so lonely, I hope it improves soon

pharmaton · 09-10-2013 12:39AM

ulinbac wrote: »

Have you tried meditation? Works wonders for myself

I don't usually but I have to +1 for meditation, there's heaps of stuff available online and some of it is practically like hypnotising yourself happy and well. Who doesn't want that?

ulinbac · 09-10-2013 12:40AM

molly09 wrote: »

I find every day so difficult to be honest, in bed crying at the minute, life is so lonely, I hope it improves soon

Hi Molly,

Have you talked to your GP or maybe a trusted family member?

Femme_Fatale · 09-10-2013 12:41AM

molly09 wrote: »

I find every day so difficult to be honest, in bed crying at the minute, life is so lonely, I hope it improves soon

/hugs

Don't feel alone - you're not alone.

Smidge · 09-10-2013 12:47AM

molly09 wrote: »

I find every day so difficult to be honest, in bed crying at the minute, life is so lonely, I hope it improves soon

FF is right, you are not alone.
Is it loneliness that has you so upset?

molly09 · 09-10-2013 12:50AM

Just have not picked up the courage to see GP about this yet, I am alone really, very poor family support and friends who are friends during the good times but certainly not there when any support is needed, they are you busy with their own lives, I am sure things will improve though.

mikejay1 · 09-10-2013 12:56AM

Hi Warm Dusk. Sorry to hear things aren't too bright for you at the moment. like you i've been dealt various difficult cards throughout my life. just this year my brother in law died 3 weeks before my young nephew. you've asked how others have come back from negatives. i must agree with Thatdoesn'tlooksafetome above - exercise works wonders. getting fresh air can clear the cobwebs. also taking on a new hobby has been a major turn around for me - i'm not doing the class in my home town so have made new friends also. speak to those who understand what you are going through. and go to the doc if you feel that things have got just too much - he / she is the only one who can advise you on the antidepressants.
Always remember too that you can't have rainbow without rain - chin up for now and good luck

Galwayguy35 · 09-10-2013 01:01AM

Parents dying, we knew what to expact with my father as he had terminal cancer but I came home one day and found my mother dead which was difficult to deal with.

Had a lot of problems with the dreaded booze in my 20s as well.

I suppose everyone has their own way of dealing with things, some people like to talk about it but personally I wanted to find my own way of coping with it.

chrissb8 · 09-10-2013 01:04AM

I mucked about with my education.Lied to my parent I was in college and that. Took the long painful road of re doing the leaving cert now I'm in college doing well. The emotional hurt I caused them though. Lying to them for years. Sticks with me to this day. The dissapointment and look of betrayal on their faces. Lies are just the worst thing and just fester into spiteful forms. Also making friends was very hard for me in school after moving country. Didn't have a set of good friends until I was 14. That was real tough going feeling isolated at an age like that. Anyway I am of the same attitude that obviously this is nothing compared to anything. Still though was asked for my darkest days.

April O Neill · 09-10-2013 01:20AM

Warm Dusk wrote: »

Ive had a couple of hard cards dealt my way this year and Im sure, like others on here, Ive had some dark days. What was the toughest time in your life and how did you fight back?

I was contemplating using anti-depressants until a friend advised me that they'd set me down a road of always needing them. So Ive resisted them for now. Im using my own resolve, chatting to as many good friends as possible and trying to be spiritual again. It has been a hugely strenuous.

If you feel you don't need anti-depressants, stay off them. But I will tell you I was Miss Skeptical when it came to them for a long, long time. I resisted taking them for years and years but I decided to give them a go two years ago and it is no exaggeration to say that they have transformed my life.

April O Neill · 09-10-2013 01:33AM

Wibbs wrote: »

It reminds me way too much of antibiotics and their overuse.

I wouldn't equate the two at all, or even think them a bit similar. The overuse of antibiotics is a FAR more serious issue. They are two totally different things. The problems with resistance to antibiotics were apparent very early on, hence there being many generations of various classes of antibiotics. Some doctors seemed and seem not well-versed in microbiology, but in general it was known that resistance to antibiotics was relatively swift.

I experimented a bit to find the right anti-d for me. The ones that did nothing for me, did exactly that. Nothing. No side-effects, no dependency, no mood changes, nothing. Some of the older, maybe first-gen anti-d might have had more issues when it came to dependency, but the newer ones? Nah.

darced · 09-10-2013 01:44AM

This post has been deleted.

AhInFairness · 09-10-2013 01:58AM

Raped at 15. Buried it. Told nobody until a few years ago.

Emotions only came out when I was drunk, which happened everytime I went out. After yet another blank night of drinking and rowing and feeling suicidal, I plucked up the courage to go to my doctor. I began anti-depressants.

They absolutely saved my life. Up until 3 weeks ago I was on them for a year. At first I was unbelievably skeptical and really didn't want to go down that road. Best thing I ever did. The withdrawal has been very difficult but I'm working through it.

During my treatment I also came to the realisation that I was bordering on alcoholism (albeit, highly functioning). I had given up the drink last year for a while and thought I was grand to go back on it. Big mistake.

I have been sober for 6 weeks now and have no intentions of ever drinking again.

_Redzer_ · 09-10-2013 02:41AM

A lot has happened over the last two years that was really, really shít tbh. Without getting into the very, very personal details, a lot of things happened that turned my life on it's head in many ways, things I couldn't help and weren't my fault which made it all the worse. To add to that, my mom got sick so I couldn't rely on her, so I had to keep things away for her sake, and as that affected other people in my family I had to keep it all from them too inorder to stop them from worrying more and having something else to deal with, I was protecting them.

But with the energy of doing that I was pretty much so focused on looking after myself that I didn't seem as supportive to them, so that caused tension and heat, and in the end it was like I was getting kicked twice, and getting kicked for looking out for them. To add to it I had a brush with cancer and am currently waiting on a result of what's going on there. All that I'm doing myself as I will not worry them or anyone else with something I know will be fine because I'm able for it. I was on meds for a while before I had to stop them, but it was hard hiding symptoms when your hair begins to shed, you get random nosebleeds and you generally look as pale as death as a result of them.

I did decide to go to a counsellor for a session. I felt fine, but I understood that this is something I should discuss incase it built up over the years. I didn't need it, I knew what was going on and what I needed to do, I was just venting which was healthy for me. She said she'd never seen anyone like me who was so young but had such emotional maturity, and couldn't get over the fact that someone could take on so much and get through it all while still remaining healthy, and wondered if someone else put in my shoes could survive those things. Gave me a bit of a big head but I kinda needed that boost tbh

I tried two more sessions but stopped as I didn't need them, they were still good, though.

I'm ranting/rambling/venting here too, quite possibly probably too much, but it's great to throw it off your chest every now that then. I don't have it the worst, and I don't have it the easiest compared to other 19 year olds, but it's something that has to be tackled head on and just sorted out and hope it starts to come together eventually.

ardle1 · 09-10-2013 02:51AM

MadsL wrote: »

Your friend is doing you no favours, get professional advice. S/he is talking bollocks.

true-or-false wrote: »

That's just not true.

We can't give medical advice on boards, and for good reason. You shouldn't be taking your friend's advice unless they have some sort of qualification to be saying what they're saying.

Sometimes people need medication. Sometimes they don't. Your mate isn't qualified to be going around telling people stuff like that. Anti-depressants might not be for you, but that's not for your friend to decide.

Trigger Happy wrote: »

There is no straight answer. Everyone is different and that is why professional help is good, to help you find the way to cope that is best for you..

AH is not the right place.

GINSENG

soccymonster · 09-10-2013 02:57AM

There have been so many, I just don't know where to begin.

Wibbs · 09-10-2013 12:19PM

April O Neill wrote: »

I wouldn't equate the two at all, or even think them a bit similar. The overuse of antibiotics is a FAR more serious issue.

It is now, but if this forum was around in say the 1970's and I said "antibiotics are over prescribed and will lead to problems in the future" I guarantee I'd be laughed at, or considered scaremongering by most, including many if not most medical professionals of the time. We see what our collective knowledge and agreement at any one time tells us to see*.

They are two totally different things. The problems with resistance to antibiotics were apparent very early on, hence there being many generations of various classes of antibiotics. Some doctors seemed and seem not well-versed in microbiology, but in general it was known that resistance to antibiotics was relatively swift.

And quite the number of medical researchers, not quacks or hippies either, have questioned the overuse and possible dangers of anti D's and have done for many a year and some of those earlier warnings have made it into mainstream medicine. There are more similarities than at first appears.

Just to be clear I'll state again I think the newer anti depressants that came out in the 80's and have been developed since are amazing actual "wonder drugs" that have saved lives, helped and continue to help people and long may that continue, however as darced notes these are very powerful therapies. They're not the universal panacea for all and should be prescribed when appropriate.

The problem is(and I've seen this first hand more than once) appropriate seems to vary quite the bit and too often they're seen by GP's as a first course of action rather than as a possible extra to more holistic(non hippie kind) treatment therapies that are available. To stretch the antibiotic analogy; yes if someone has a rampant chest infection, line up the pills stat! but too often people are put on a high powered antibiotic for a bit of a chesty cough.

On the anti D/placebo front that's regularly trotted out by "big pharma" conspiracy nutters that claims they're useless, they never tell the whole story behind the research. Of course they don't, nutters rarely do. The research showed that yes the placebo effect was as effective as anti D's in mild cases of depression, but the more severe the depression in an individual was, the more the anti D's worked and in severe depression they worked like bloody magic.

*Once we thought the sun went around the earth, now we know better, but as a philosopher once asked "what would it have looked like if it actually did go around the earth?". No different really

DeanAustin · 09-10-2013 12:58PM

Christ, I've had some sh1t times but nothing compared to some people. Real eye-opener this thread.

The stuff I've had to deal with, I've basically just taken the view that you can only worry about stuff that you can change and tried to take some positive action to make the situation better. I try to avoid wallowing in anything and usually try to do the last thing other people expect me to do. To me, there's no point in living in the past because today is as close as you'll get to it and that's not nearly close enough to change it.

All that said, my problems over the years have paled in comparison to some of the stuff on here and I take my hat off to a lot of the posters for getting through what are serious problems. Some strong and admirable people on this board.

MonstaMash · 09-10-2013 01:02PM

Lost my eldest son on his first day of school to a traffic accident & my youngest son 6 months later to anencephaly of the brain...

My relationship with my partner disintegrated, I withdrew completely from friends, family & life in general.

Disappeared into a 2 bottles of Whiskey & coke habit (not the mixer) a day for 7 years, never interfered with me earning as I was a highly functioning alcoholic/coke addict...clean & mostly sober now 6 years & counting (few falling off the wagon incidents)

Intervention on the part of concerned friends & family when they eventually tracked me down left me sectioned & diagnosed with PTSD...

Combination of meds & time have me on the mend, the support of friends & family that I pushed away was the catalyst to my healing...but it will always be with me...my own personal 'Pandora's Box'

razorblunt · 09-10-2013 01:02PM

This is probably going to sound really weird but I rememebr from a young age coping with the loss of a grandparent by noticing the people walking past the funeral procession going on with life. I thought, this is it, life goes on. Now I know that's morbid in a way and it really freaks my OH out but in a way it's this coping mechanism I think I acquired at a young age. Yes I grieve but at that back of mind there's like a deadline where I know when I hit I have to pick myself up and move on.

THAT being said when I lost a parent over ten years ago, I quietly realised I'd never get over it and foolishly I kept plodding on with life as normal, knowing life was never going to be normal again. It worked for me to an extent, but every now and then it hits you like a freight train and it's damn hard to get your mind back round to day to day stuff. Coming up to my wedding now (just over a year away) and it's slowly creeping in again that person is missing. In this case I think I've just cognitevly decided to bring that baggage with me, in some cases you can't do anything other than that. Just hope that you've got off your knees with the strength to keep going on.

I don't know if any of that makes sense, it's a bit of a brain dump though.
Life isn't about how hard you can hit, it's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward
That quote really doesn't get enough kudos due to the film it's from but it's perfectly apt for me.

Keep the chin up OP.

April O Neill · 09-10-2013 01:16PM

Wibbs wrote: »

It is now, but if this forum was around in say the 1970's and I said "antibiotics are over prescribed and will lead to problems in the future" I guarantee I'd be laughed at, or considered scaremongering by most, including many if not most medical professionals of the time. We see what our collective knowledge and agreement at any one time tells us to see*.

Problems with resistance to antibiotics were realised very early on. The only difference between now and then is that drug company have stopped pumping money into developing new ones in the last few decades because there's more money elsewhere. But back then, new ones were being developed all the time.

c_man · 09-10-2013 01:29PM

Probably my Mam having cancer. For four years she was continually in and out of hospital. Clear for the past two thankfully.

readyletsgo · 09-10-2013 01:30PM

I suppose my hardest time was losing a parent to a very long and painful cancer 10 years ago this christmas at the age of 21 and now going through a harder time having to look after the other parent who has very serious alzheimer's over the past couple years, very stressful, sad and not the parent I used to know at all now. Long road ahead with this too, didnt expect my 30's to be caring for a parent at all. So long personal life and future partner :-(

Luckly i have one or two very good friends who are willing to listen to me when I need them :-)

IvyTheTerrible · 09-10-2013 01:32PM

The death of my brother. I found it hard to talk about or to listen to family members talking about it.

oldyouth · 09-10-2013 01:35PM

Having to tell my then 14 year old son that his best friend had been killed in an accident on his way over to our house. I never thought we would get him through it, but he has (mostly). Heartbreaking times

nocoverart · 09-10-2013 01:44PM

Going through undiagnosed pain and neurological symptoms for some years now. Doctors wouldn't take my symptoms serious for a long time, but finally getting the right tests done and hopefully getting some answers.

Neyite · 09-10-2013 01:53PM

OP, I went on AD's during a tough time. That was 11 years ago and I've not needed them since, despite the fact that I had experienced worse bad times than the one that put me on AD's in the first place.

The second time that I felt I needed them, I decided to give counseling a go first, and it was the best thing I ever did. Since then I've suffered bereavement, infertility issues, unemployment, financial difficulties but I've coped with them fine because counseling solved an awful lot of mess in my head.

Best of luck with whatever route to happiness you take.

Whats the hardest situation you've gone through in life

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