Am I going mad?

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:29PM #1

So I'm back in Eire after not being home in six months and having a lovely time relaxing with the family. I went out the other night with a few friends for a bit of a catch up with a few creamy pints of beamish.

One of the lads in particular, who is generally fairly smug was saying he met an ex of mine at a wedding recently and when my name was brought up it became awakward. He then proceeded to say that her and her current fiancee(whom he is friends with) are well suited as the have similar personalities, but he would have never saw how I could have ever been suited to her. A few minutes later , he described her as being bubbly
and intelligent, but never expanded on how we would not be suited. I just wonder if this is a subtle insult or am I being too sensitive. This 'mate' has never been the easiest to get on with and over the years he seems to brag about himself, and put others(me in particular) down in a coy way. I have one or two other irish friends like this, who seeth and big themselves up when I talk about my new home(which I play down) in fairness. Is this part of begrudgery? if so, it makes me want to do a few things..either ditch these self absorbed, jealous 'friends', or just stay away from ireland.

slainte.

Micky Dolenz · 15-09-2013 03:31PM

Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's you.

Doom · 15-09-2013 03:32PM

Piss in his pint next time he's out.

hfallada · 15-09-2013 03:34PM

lufties wrote: »

So I'm back in Eire

OP no one ever refers to Ireland as Eire. Imagine your not insane but "different"

Mr. Nice · 15-09-2013 03:34PM

Yes

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:34PM

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Maybe it's not them. Maybe it's you.

Its me what?

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:34PM

Mr. Nice wrote: »

Yes

??

Artful_Badger · 15-09-2013 03:35PM

Sounds like you are pretty self absorbed yourself tbh.

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:35PM

hfallada wrote: »

OP no one ever refers to Ireland as Eire. Imagine your not insane but "different"

The auld sod, how's that for ya:rolleyes:

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:38PM

Artful_Badger wrote: »

Sounds like you are pretty self absorbed yourself tbh.

Maybe, but that wasn't my question:o

Renegade Mechanic · 15-09-2013 03:39PM

Badger has a point but seriously OP this is Ireland. Envious begrudgery central! They dont just call it "Emerald Isle" because of its most abundantly visible colour...

Micky Dolenz · 15-09-2013 03:39PM

lufties wrote: »

Its me what?

Artful_Badger wrote: »

Sounds like you are pretty self absorbed yourself tbh.

I rest my case.

donegal__road · 15-09-2013 03:39PM

lufties wrote: »

So I'm back in Eire after not being home in six months and having a lovely time relaxing with the family. I went out the other night with a few friends for a bit of a catch up with a few creamy pints of beamish.

One of the lads in particular, who is generally fairly smug was saying he met an ex of mine at a wedding recently and when my name was brought up it became awakward. He then proceeded to say that her and her current fiancee(whom he is friends with) are well suited as the have similar personalities, but he would have never saw how I could have ever been suited to her. A few minutes later , he described her as being bubbly
and intelligent, but never expanded on how we would not be suited. I just wonder if this is a subtle insult or am I being too sensitive. This 'mate' has never been the easiest to get on with and over the years he seems to brag about himself, and put others(me in particular) down in a coy way. I have one or two other irish friends like this, who seeth and big themselves up when I talk about my new home(which I play down) in fairness. Is this part of begrudgery? if so, it makes me want to do a few things..either ditch these self absorbed, jealous 'friends', or just stay away from ireland.

slainte.

usually when someone puts someone down like this, it is because they are feeling inadequate with themselves. It can also be a sign of depression. I wouldn't give it another thought OP.

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:40PM

Renegade Mechanic wrote: »

Badger has a point but seriously OP this is Ireland. Envious begrudgery central! They dont just call it "Emerald Isle" because of its most abundantly colour...

that made me laugh out loud:D

Artful_Badger · 15-09-2013 03:43PM

lufties wrote: »

Maybe, but that wasn't my question:o

Answers your question though. You're not going mad you're just self absorbed. You clearly weren't suited to your ex if you broke up. Even if it was a bit of a dig from your mate its hardly worth turning your back on everyone or never returning to the country over it.

Just relax, shrug it off as a bit of clown saying something a bit ignorant.

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:44PM

donegal__road wrote: »

usually when someone puts someone down like this, it is because they are feeling inadequate with themselves. It can also be a sign of depression. I wouldn't give it another thought OP.

Thanks donegal, I thought it was insecurity, but this guy very intelligent, has plenty of friends, is getting married soon to a lovely girl, has a fantastic job and lives in ireland, I couldn't see how he could be insecure.

lufties · 15-09-2013 03:50PM

Artful_Badger wrote: »

Answers your question though. You're not going mad you're just self absorbed. You clearly weren't suited to your ex if you broke up. Even if it was a bit of a dig from your mate its hardly worth turning your back on everyone or never returning to the country over it.

Just relax, shrug it off as a bit of clown saying something a bit ignorant.

Nah I'm just annoyed at the cheap dig by someone who is supposed to be a friend.

Elbaston · 15-09-2013 03:53PM

Forget all thoughts of subtle insults.

If its an insult with any consequence or heart or strength or intention behind it you'll know quite well.

Leave the bitchy hint stuff to youngwans.

(and 18th century aristocracy...that is of course.....if you're educated enough in history to understand what I infer, or perhaps you're better off amongst the proletariat)

bronte · 15-09-2013 03:53PM

Why bother with arseholes like that? Cut him loose.

He sounds like a pain in the arse.

Pumpkinseeds · 15-09-2013 03:59PM

lufties wrote: »

Thanks donegal, I thought it was insecurity, but this guy very intelligent, has plenty of friends, is getting married soon to a lovely girl, has a fantastic job and lives in ireland, I couldn't see how he could be insecure.

Your description of him is what he allows the world to see. Everyone has their demons. Honestly, he just sounds like an ass, I really wouldn't give it a second thought, a bitchy man is a boring man, he should leave it for youngwans and old women:D

Catari Jaguar · 15-09-2013 04:02PM

I thought this was going to be about Beamish...

lufties · 15-09-2013 04:02PM

Elbaston wrote: »

Forget all thoughts of subtle insults.

If its an insult with any consequence or heart or strength or intention behind it you'll know quite well.

Leave the bitchy hint stuff to youngwans.

(and 18th century aristocracy...that is of course.....if you're educated enough in history to understand what I infer, or perhaps you're better off amongst the proletariat)

I wasn't being bitchy, just thought perhaps sensitive or a bit paranoid.

Pumpkinseeds · 15-09-2013 04:04PM

lufties wrote: »

I wasn't being bitchy, just thought perhaps sensitive or a bit paranoid.

I meant him being bitchy not you:)

15-09-2013 04:05PM

Yeh you're being too insensitive.

I'm intelligent and bubbly (and modest) I know other people who are intelligent and bubbly but we have very different personalities overall. Don't over think it. If your mate is always a dick, then why is he your mate? If he's never a dick, then why would he suddenly turn into one?

Life is short, don't dwell on stuff like that.

15-09-2013 04:06PM

Catari Jaguar wrote: »

I thought this was going to be about Beamish...

So did I

lufties · 15-09-2013 04:06PM

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

Your description of him is what he allows the world to see. Everyone has their demons. Honestly, he just sounds like an ass, I really wouldn't give it a second thought, a bitchy man is a boring man, he should leave it for youngwans and old women:D

Yea cheers for that reassurance, over the years I kind of relied on him as a mate, but never really fully felt like his mate. He usually made me feel like someone there to entertain him, through my calamity perhaps. For me, this type of arrogance is a very negative trait in humans.

_Whimsical_ · 15-09-2013 04:07PM

Shouldn't this and all of these "was this an insult or a compliment?" threads be in PI ?

lufties · 15-09-2013 04:10PM

Deleted User wrote: »

Yeh you're being too insensitive.

I'm intelligent and bubbly (and modest) I know other people who are intelligent and bubbly but we have very different personalities overall. Don't over think it. If your mate is always a dick, then why is he your mate? If he's never a dick, then why would he suddenly turn into one?

Life is short, don't dwell on stuff like that.

Ah yea, I'm not dwelling on it particularly, although its nice to get a second opinion. I am only home once a year, but on the brightside I get to minimize the arseholes in my life.:)

Mr. Nice · 15-09-2013 05:50PM

lufties wrote: »

??

You asked a question, I answered it.

A more complete answer would be, get over your ex and stop caring about the opinions of people you don't respect.
Why do you care what your (non) friend thinks of you?
Unless you are actually going mad?

Mr. Nice · 15-09-2013 05:51PM

lufties wrote: »

I get to minimize the arseholes in my life.:)

Were you born with more than one?

Gummy Panda · 15-09-2013 05:54PM

Ride his bird.

Am I going mad?

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