Am I going mad?

Mr. Nice

Ride his ma.

Legs.Eleven

You don't need friends like that regardless of how long you've had them.

lufties

Mr. Nice wrote: »

You asked a question, I answered it.

A more complete answer would be, get over your ex and stop caring about the opinions of people you don't respect.
Why do you care what your (non) friend thinks of you?
Unless you are actually going mad?

well its not cut and dry, he was one of the few i'd go for pints with when i come back, also he is part of a group of friends, and we go back a long way. The truth is i've lost touch with some old friends the last few years which is a shame, but sure thats life. Oh yea and I am over my ex completely.

lufties

Legs.Eleven wrote: »

You don't need friends like that regardless of how long you've had them.

cheers legs, I thought as much, If it was me I wouldn't say **** like this lad, Really baffles me why anyone would carry on like that other that plain nastiness.

Miss Lockhart

You're considering staying away from Ireland because some lad who you say has always made petty jibes made a petty jibe?

Unless you're 16 I think you need to grow up and get a little perspective. Surely you can find a way to deal with such minor irritations without all the drama.

kowloon

lufties wrote: »

Ah yea, I'm not dwelling on it particularly, although its nice to get a second opinion. I am only home once a year, but on the brightside I get to minimize the arseholes in my life.:)

Plenty of opportunity to meet new ones abroad.

BunShopVoyeur.

She's your ex.

Who gives a shit? Don't worry about it.

lufties

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

You're considering staying away from Ireland because some lad who you say has always made petty jibes made a petty jibe?

Unless you're 16 I think you need to grow up and get a little perspective. Surely you can find a way to deal with such minor irritations without all the drama.

not at all, but having lived overseas I've not come across this sort of begrudgery in 6 months in any way and people are fairly friendly(its no utopia either of course),.the point i was making is that, since coming home a week ago, I've encountered at least 3 times where people have been arseholes and unwelcoming. It doesn't make for pleasant visiting, especially after travelling half way across the world, so perhaps next time I'll just book tickets for the parents to visit.

biko

lufties wrote: »

Am I going mad?

Depends, what are the voices telling you?

lufties

kowloon wrote: »

Plenty of opportunity to meet new ones abroad.

exactly..now I hope that door doesn't hit me on the way out:D

Starscream25

Your friend sounds like a right prick

TommiesTank

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Ride his bird.

Mr. Nice wrote: »

Ride his ma.

Ride his bird's ma.

Hang on, he probably wouldn't care...:o

lufties

Starscream25 wrote: »

Your friend sounds like a right prick

Yea I know, kind of tried to get a dig in, and show me up in front of the group in the pub at the same time.

old hippy

You move away and sometimes you think time stands still back home. It doesn't. People have issues and sometimes they vent them. If you saw them regular, like, you'd probably shrug it off. I wouldn't worry about it. When I come home (not so much these days) I see who I want to see and don't waste time with people who act up. Life's too short and there's no point in letting others bring you down.

lufties

old hippy wrote: »

You move away and sometimes you think time stands still back home. It doesn't. People have issues and sometimes they vent them. If you saw them regular, like, you'd probably shrug it off. I wouldn't worry about it. When I come home (not so much these days) I see who I want to see and don't waste time with people who act up. Life's too short and there's no point in letting others bring you down.

I understand what your saying but there's a difference in venting and being deliberately nasty.

old hippy

lufties wrote: »

I understand what your saying but there's a difference in venting and being deliberately nasty.

If his friendship is important to you, maybe have a word with him and tell him he's out of order. If his response is more of the same, then best let him go. Life's like that, you meet people, are friends for years and sometimes, sadly, you drift apart.

Timmyctc

Gummy Panda wrote: »

Ride his bird.

Mr. Nice wrote: »

Ride his ma.

Ride him.

Miss Lockhart

lufties wrote: »

not at all, but having lived overseas I've not come across this sort of begrudgery in 6 months in any way and people are fairly friendly(its no utopia either of course),.the point i was making is that, since coming home a week ago, I've encountered at least 3 times where people have been arseholes and unwelcoming. It doesn't make for pleasant visiting, especially after travelling half way across the world, so perhaps next time I'll just book tickets for the parents to visit.

You need to either improve the company you keep here, take off the rose-tinted glasses abroad or take a good look at how you interact with your group of friends in Ireland (both while you are away and while you are at home).

It is most unlikely that begrudgery is not an issue where you are now living and also most unlikely that any significant amount of Irish people are begrudging. Or is this just another tired old Ireland-bashing thread? Either way it sounds as if you are throwing the toys out of the pram. If you are done with your connections here in Ireland then that's fair enough, but generalising blame because of a few interactions is childish.

I can honestly say I never experienced this problem when visiting or returning from living abroad.

lufties

old hippy wrote: »

If his friendship is important to you, maybe have a word with him and tell him he's out of order. If his response is more of the same, then best let him go. Life's like that, you meet people, are friends for years and sometimes, sadly, you drift apart.

cheers, i pulled him on it on the night but he made out he didn't say it like that so i didn't persue.

lufties

Miss Lockhart wrote: »

You need to either improve the company you keep here, take off the rose-tinted glasses abroad or take a good look at how you interact with your group of friends in Ireland (both while you are away and while you are at home).

It is most unlikely that begrudgery is not an issue where you are now living and also most unlikely that any significant amount of Irish people are begrudging. Or is this just another tired old Ireland-bashing thread? Either way it sounds as if you are throwing the toys out of the pram. If you are done with your connections here in Ireland then that's fair enough, but generalising blame because of a few interactions is childish.

I can honestly say I never experienced this problem when visiting or returning from living abroad.

fair enough, I dont have rose tinted glasses but perhaps a few interactions with muppets left me annoyed and wonder why i bothered coming back.

Pumpkinseeds

There are always going to be people who are jealous, bitter or resentful that you emigrated and they didn't. Living abroad changes people, and obviously you have experiences that people who stay in their home town haven't shared. They're still talking about what you or they did x number of years ago and you've moved on from all that.

I found the same thing when I used to come home on visits, gradually I just avoided contact with those people and when I eventually moved back here with my husband I just say hi when we pass them in the street or supermarket. The reality is you tend to drift apart from them when you live abroad and they weren't important enough to me to bother staying in contact with when I lived in the UK and I've nothing in common with them anymore so why bother.

I'm not criticising people who don't emigrate but some people clearly have a problem with friends/aquaintances that do.

lufties

Pumpkinseeds wrote: »

There are always going to be people who are jealous, bitter or resentful that you emigrated and they didn't. Living abroad changes people, and obviously you have experiences that people who stay in their home town haven't shared. They're still talking about what you or they did x number of years ago and you've moved on from all that.

I found the same thing when I used to come home on visits, gradually I just avoided contact with those people and when I eventually moved back here with my husband I just say hi when we pass them in the street or supermarket. The reality is you tend to drift apart from them when you live abroad and they weren't important enough to me to bother staying in contact with when I lived in the UK and I've nothing in common with them anymore so why bother.

I'm not criticising people who don't emigrate but some people clearly have a problem with friends/aquaintances that do.

Your correct, I think this particular lad still thinks of me as a bit calamitous and an easy target for a cheap dig, its a shame as i have indeed changed and become relatively successful professionally. A true pal doesn't try to make you feel crap on your holiday home. Its a respect thing really.