Time to change my life around for the better minus drink.

Things are going good at the moment. I need to start doing bit more exercise thou as all day in an office is really doing my head in. Before I didn't notice as I was constantly in a rush or "catching" up. Now I can SEE things more clearly and the goings on. I just wonder what all this working like a dog is for. I suppose what got me thinking was some articles in the Irish Times where John Maynard Keynes predicted we be working 16 hours weeks by now but instead we're working 40 and working later in our life.

Must also check out vitamins as well for myself that I might be lacking. Got some thirst over me today so dropped in for a bottle of lucozade - did the job.

Also went different venue for meeting today - would prefer other place as more discreet but other than that it was the same faces from the other place so all good. They are beginning to notice me :-)

All the guys

I drank on Friday and I know I shouldn't have. Pathetic urge that came over me and wild horses wouldn't stop me.

Really really dissapointed but at same times I'm trying my best. Its obviously not good enough but hopefully I will crack it.

My resolve to stop seems to get stronger each time I think. Met up with usual friends but I noticed because I hadn't met with them in weeks it wasn't that great crack and I would have preferred at home. It really is about breaking a habit.

Read good article in sindo yesterday from psychotherapist. She was talking about our countries obsession with drinking copious amounts of drink. I'm sick of listening to even adults talking about the session they were on and then how wrecked they were from it. Its pathetic I think. Wasting over 100e on drink and next day in bed is not cool. How do you deal with them drink related conversations? Because subconsciously you are hearing all this **** and its something I want to avoid.

I'm gonna try lifering once this week as week because I likes it when I went before. It asks you to talk about your plans for week ahead.

Funny thing is I was celebrating good news earlier in the day and what I really was doing was bringing myself down a peg or two. i.e self destruct.

I need to book cinema tickets day in advance and make plans for myself.

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. It does help a lot and I mean that.

I might check up about the person that wrote that article in the sindo and so can I make an appointment.

Feeling good tonight - even after slip up I'm beginning to think a lot clearer. Before I used to be very rash in my decisions depending on time and day of the week.

Beginning to struggle bit less with people and not think they are all wrong.

Long way to go yet thou and support is great on here. Really worth the time investment.

KeefF wrote: »

Def sabotage. My counsellor reckons that when I stay off the drink for length of time, I have money, I feel fitter, look better, perform in work and feel confident and that I don't feel I'm worthy of all those things and sabotage myself.
After 3/4 weeks dry I had a few drinks Sat night. I know exactly why I drank and I don't like it. but strangely for me I did not get smashed into oblivion. Plus on Sunday morning, I had no compulsion to drink again when I would normally down the pub at opening. However I went back to an AA meeting today, as I want to be sober long-term and am committed to it. I am making progress, I have drank 3 out of the last 35 days. That's c 5 weeks - so would normally be 8-10 days of drinking.

Well done KeefF. Your doing well.
Might be of use to you but I downloaded charlie and Joe AA app. You can read all the steps and stories in there that you can read one a day on way in on train/bus etc. I read one last night and they really do hit home.

I've been going to lot of meetings but not huge amount of success. I' m gonna start focussing on BB meetings. i.e putting what I hear into practice every day and also have been in regular contact with person on here for advice which is great.

The self sabotage thing I need to work and see what that is about and dig deeper. Who knows but that is essentially what it is. I hope to get guidance from BB meetings for that.

KeefF wrote: »

Hi Carpet,
I have read the most of the Big Book and read little extracts most days.
I am looking for guidance in the morning and giving thanks at night.
I am not there yet but making significant progress.
Despite last Sat, as weeks go by and things happen I am slowly moving away from drinking being a part of my life. I fully understand that I should not drink and I don't want to. However I need to work harder as putting that Acceptance in practice.
I will eventually have to work the steps in AA to have real success at this.
Life is far far better when sober.

I pretty much the same as you - trying to do the basic things well and improving myself as a person and being better to people.

I have guard on big time this week after my slip up and because its all Ireland final weekend. I;m not gona get caught up on the buzz but rather relax and watch match at home and take the craic in. I think I need to get something to do Friday night as Girlfriend is away so probably the cinema for some time on my own. Alo must a nice dinner for myself and bit of gym work. Sorry for boring ye but I have my plan made now!

Reading one of stories on train in again. Bit uncomfortable depending on where you are sitting beside some people are very nosy and reading in over your shoulder. One thing I like is my privacy.

Anyway enough of the rant and have a good day.

PS Also gave into my resentment to person I knew and just got on with then as normal and felt lot better for it.

Up early this morning and raring to go. Did my usual reading and prayer and hopefully BB meeting later as feel bit low so hopefully thar will help me.

Really other than that I Have a lot to be thanksful for. I'll also try not stay in house all tonight and to get out and about.

Getting on alrite - spending so little money it's great and its not that I don't treat myself either.

Actually had crap day with work today but was able to deal with people and work more calmly. Before I be going around wit a head on me and bottling everything.

I'm getting lot better looking after myself - getting out on time , sleep, looking after my professional development . Something I neglected for years. Now its about me .

Finished of yesterday a very frustrated individual and bit annoying how I deal with simple stuff. I didn't notice it before because it wasn't the real me.

I ended up writing down the things that were bothering me and writing beside it what I could do about it. It is a good idea especially when putting mind to rest and trying to get to sleep. Also made a plan today of what I need to do and when.

Here's hoping for a good day ahead.

KeefF wrote: »

Hi,Glad things are going well for you.I'm struggling to get to meetings as I am absoultely flat out with work. That together with the gym & running (which are essential to my recovery and well-being in my opinion). Plus trying to get ordinary things such as shopping/cleaning/eating /interact with family means I seem to be constantly chasing my tail and planning for the next day. Don't know how I managed when on the p*ss all weekend??Also I try to do a few mins prayer in the morn and night but know I have to try to keep this up.I like the idea of jotting down a few things that bothreed you at the end of the day & planning to adddress them. My really busy in work should be over by end-November so I am targetting that as a time to have a real look at steps etc.

Cheers for the update KeefF. It's great your getting on well.

I'd suggest the app to start off - I think it's pretty good. There are loads of them so think I might need to get another one soon. I'm pretty busy too with deadline coming up so exercise is taking a backseat role because I really cant afford to drop meetings (1-2 a week) and reading the app each day etc etc

Also I've being in good contact with family and I've been better than before but I don't feel the obligation to jump more I decide what is best for myself. Nice to be nice but f**K it getting to meeting or doing exercise or whatever comes top of my list and doing stuff for people comes bit further down and especially when it comes to work! If sobriety is neglected the house of cards will fall!

I feel a more productive but doing ten times more work will just end out stressing me out and me neglecting my personal life so I just set my goals to do certain amount in work and out the gap at 5.30pm. More thanks for it.

Before I used to stay longer in evening because I knew I had to make up for the Monday and Tuesdays not being able to do a tap or the Friday or thursday being half cut or the days called in sick.

Now I have no guilt whatsoever. In fact I read recently that bosses have more respect for you having good time keeping and will respect you more in general if you get job done well but at same time not hanging around late in the evening. I'm repeating myslef again that it's nice to be nice but it's amazing how people will (maybe unknowingly) depend on you more and more if you let them. Just my tupence.

Anyways cinema tomorrow night booked so looking forward to that with the missus as it's supposed to be a great film. I was gona go Saturday but will stay in as there will be huge crowd around with the match and the horrendous scenes that come with it.

Are you still going to the counsellor? I might go next week but I'm thinking a sponsor might actually do a better job for me and understand me better. Getting one is another matter!

Sums up sobriety for me.

Awake early this morning. I need to go to meetings more often.

I must say I'm getting on so much better with people in general these days. Long may it continue as that is something I have always struggled with.

Does anyone have a counsellor they recommend and the rates they charge and how to get best value for money out of it ? PM probably be best