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How would you react if your partner told you they were into BDSM?

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Comments

  • #62
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Deleted User wrote: »
    On one of my house parties we did get into a weird game of truth and dare recently enough (few months back) and one of the things asked was everyone had to tell their top two until now unrealised sex fantasy or fetishes.

    I totally misread this the first time. ;)


  • #63
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Tbf, there BDSMy Fantasies not the reality of abusive relationships.

    I think the point that has been made by the BDSM community is that they are absolutely misrepresentations of the 'safe, sane and consensual' activities of normal BDSM. As such, they present a fantasy - and I don't mind that - but that popular culture, vanilla culture if you will, sees that as being what BDSM consists of. BDSM practitioners don't recognise 50 Shades as BDSM.

    I shouldn't comment really as I haven't read them.


  • #64
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MadsL wrote: »
    I totally misread this the first time. ;)

    I probably dont want to know do i? :)


  • #65
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Candie wrote: »
    I'd be far too worried I'd hurt someone if they wanted a good slapping or spanking to be comfortable with the idea.[/SIZE]

    Use a Safe Word. That's basically how it works.


  • #66
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Candie viewpost.gif
    I'd be far too worried I'd hurt someone if they wanted a good slapping or spanking to be comfortable with the idea.[/SIZE]

    Use a Safe Word. That's basically how it works.

    Supposedly, the sub can feel perfectly fine with doing something during, and then be traumatized afterwards. Apparently, it's the Doms job to read their state and make sure they won't regret something afterwards.


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  • #67
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MadsL wrote: »
    Use a Safe Word. That's basically how it works.

    How could he give me a safe word if I had one of those ball things in his gob and he was trussed like a chicken ready for roasting, huh?

    You just aren't thinking this through to the extent I am. Obviously.:)


  • #68
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Candie wrote: »
    How could he give me a safe word if I had one of those ball things in his gob and he was trussed like a chicken ready for roasting, huh?

    You just aren't thinking this through to the extent I am. Obviously.:)

    You use signals. Both hands fingers crossed means stop for instance, one hand crossed means ease off.

    Plenty of reading material out there if you really want to know more.


  • #69
    greenflash
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 499 ✭✭greenflash


    Banana


  • #70
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    greenflash wrote: »
    Banana

    I barely touched you. Lightweight. :rolleyes:


  • #71
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MadsL wrote: »
    You use signals. Both hands fingers crossed means stop for instance, one hand crossed means ease off.

    Plenty of reading material out there if you really want to know more.

    Or I could use semaphore flags, or Morse Code, or hand puppets. Or I could give the whole thing a pass since it doesn't really appeal, at this point in my life anyway.


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  • #72
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Candie wrote: »
    Or I could use semaphore flags, or Morse Code, or hand puppets. Or I could give the whole thing a pass since it doesn't really appeal, at this point in my life anyway.

    Hey, I ain't proselytising. Do you own thing.
    No harm in some knowledge though is there?


  • #73
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    One of my best friends is into all that. he writes stories regarding BDSM.
    He used to email them to me at work :) for approval.


    Some of the stories he used to send me were off the feckin charts:eek:

    I think Id make a great Dominatrix.


  • #74
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Supposedly, the sub can feel perfectly fine with doing something during, and then be traumatized afterwards. Apparently, it's the Doms job to read their state and make sure they won't regret something afterwards.

    Google "sub space".


  • #75
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,219 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Supposedly, the sub can feel perfectly fine with doing something during, and then be traumatized afterwards. Apparently, it's the Doms job to read their state and make sure they won't regret something afterwards.

    Its a bit complicated sounding when you factor this stuff in, a bit too in need of cool appraisal. I wouldn't be able for a great deal of concentration when I'm lost in the moment. I suppose if you're into control you won't be concerned about abandoning yourself though.


  • #76
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,321 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MadsL wrote: »
    Google "sub space".

    Im scurred, you do... tell us what it says :)
    ;)


  • #77
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    Candie wrote: »
    Its a bit complicated sounding when you factor this stuff in, a bit too in need of cool appraisal. I wouldn't be able for a great deal of concentration when I'm lost in the moment. I suppose if you're into control you won't be concerned about abandoning yourself though.

    I think BDSM relationships are much more about thinking, and head space, than the actual mechanics of sex. Many people comment on how much they are about thinking about their partners experience, rather than their own.


  • #78
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Its a bit complicated sounding when you factor this stuff in, a bit too in need of cool appraisal. I wouldn't be able for a great deal of concentration when I'm lost in the moment. I suppose if you're into control you won't be concerned about abandoning yourself though.

    It is quite interesting, isn't it? Although, I reckon the subspace only affects certain people. I don't reckon it'll effect a married couple bringing out the handcuffs.
    I think BDSM relationships are much more about thinking, and head space, than the actual mechanics of sex. Many people comment on how much they are about thinking about their partners experience, rather than their own.

    I've been hearing that as well. Although, a cynicle part of me says, what with the view on BDSM, that someone would hardly say they gain enjoyment out of the domination factor :P

    Although, I'd be quick to add, as long as it's consensual, and by all accounts BDSM is, then there's nothing wrong with that.


  • #79
    wilkie2006
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭wilkie2006


    How would you react if your partner told you they were into BDSM?

    I'd probably TSPU


  • #80
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »

    Although, I'd be quick to add, as long as it's consensual, and by all accounts BDSM is, then there's nothing wrong with that.

    ...and Safe.
    ...and Sane.


  • #81
    MadsL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,299 ✭✭✭✭MadsL


    wilkie2006 wrote: »
    I'd probably TSPU

    Tie some people up?


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  • #82
    Seaneh
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 18,300 ✭✭✭✭Seaneh




  • #83
    Mickey H
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭Mickey H


    OneArt wrote: »
    Tie him/her up and put a Justin Bieber video on loop, while an elderly Japanese woman tickles his/her feet with a feather. In the corner I'd have a second-year Arts student reciting Adrienne Rich's complete works.

    Then I'd go and get a few bits and pieces for dinner and have a cup of tea.

    You do realise that the OP wants the other half to be alive when they get back.


  • #84
    LittleFox
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 161 ✭✭LittleFox


    Its usually a good idea to have two safe words as well. One to change the direction things are going and one to completely stop the activity


  • #85
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,344 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Wonder if anyone into this stuff has ever forgotten their key word.

    Have this weird image of someone lying there trashing about just throwing out words in desperation like "Tomato....... Hairy Beaver...... mutton....... new-wan-daaaaaaaaa......... supercalifragilisticexpialidocious...... I am a lumber jack and its okaayyyyyyy.... tin opener, tin opener, oh god tin opener....."


  • #86
    Pug160
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭Pug160


    It's mainstream now so it's not that big of a deal I would have thought.


  • #87
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,052 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    Nah wouldn't be for me, can't see how having me arse whipped would be a turn on, each to their own though.


  • #88
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    I'd like to think I'd be okay with it.

    But, I wouldn't be into being peed on :eek:


    You're saying you'd like to pee on someone?

    That's cool.

    Nothing to be ashamed of


  • #89
    Wacker The Attacker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,473 ✭✭✭Wacker The Attacker


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    I'd like to think I'd be okay with it.

    But, I wouldn't be into being peed on :eek:


    I'd probably ask her to spank my bare arse until I shoot off.


  • #90
    jimgoose
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,235 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    I'd throw 'em out immediately. Sys-V all the way. :cool:


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  • #91
    MRnotlob606
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,642 ✭✭✭MRnotlob606


    ahhh i have a funny little story, a while back one of my mates was on his ps3 and was typing ,but didnt the predictive text come up saying BDSM tube, we asked what it was and he said with a red face ,its a soccer website, as far as i know being tied up with a gag in your mouth isnt a popular field sport


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