Do you lend people money?

michellie · 31-08-2013 03:06PM

I gave a friend a loan a few weeks back from my Christmas savings, I've no problems with giving loans to someone you trust.

Galwayguy35 · 31-08-2013 03:13PM

I gave someone I thought was my friend a loan of €300 a few years ago and never got it back, that might not sound much but it was to me and the fooker has done a good job of avoiding me since.

I learnt my lesson though and will never loan anyone money again.

Highflyer13 · 31-08-2013 03:17PM

Yeah have loaned mates and family money numerous times and in most cases I have to go ask for it back myself. I get annoyed having to lend people money when they have full time jobs and are living at home like my bro for example who pissed and gambled his money away every month in the days after payday and left himself with no money to get to work for 3 weeks every month. Some people are just full on irresponsible.

Teagwee · 31-08-2013 03:23PM

Interesting that we haven't (so far) heard from anyone who owes money to a friend/relation and has reneged on the deal. From my experience and many others here, there are loads of them around! Or maybe it's a case of 'Eaten bread is soon forgotten'?
My policy now is not to lend anything (money or whatever) that I can't afford to actually give away permanently. Therefore, the non-return of same will not sicken my happiness in bitterness, which is really what happens when your so called friend lets you down.

Caonima · 31-08-2013 05:00PM

Teagwee wrote: »

Interesting that we haven't (so far) heard from anyone who owes money to a friend/relation and has reneged on the deal.

Don't expect anything like this here. Start a thread about "did you ever renege on a loan" and give an example of how you did, and prepare for the moral high ground to pelt you with slings and arrows all day.

Personally, I don't really like asking for things from people; I never know how to broach the topic.

Wacker The Attacker · 31-08-2013 05:01PM

neither a borrower nor a lender be

Caonima · 31-08-2013 05:10PM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

neither a borrower nor a lender be

Probably an apropos philosophy, although it's tough when someone you know pretty well asks you for a few quid for something. There's a certain self-allocated guilt in saying no to them, I feel.

pragmatic1 · 31-08-2013 05:11PM

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I gave someone I thought was my friend a loan of €300 a few years ago and never got it back, that might not sound much but it was to me and the fooker has done a good job of avoiding me since.

I learnt my lesson though and will never loan anyone money again.

Yep same thing happened to me for around the same amount. It was a friend who I'd consider very close but she never paid me back.

We're just acquaintances now.

Hank Scorpio · 31-08-2013 05:19PM

Only to siblings

candy-gal1 · 31-08-2013 05:23PM

No, unless the person means something to me or the thing in question means a lot to them and I have the cash for it, other than that nope!

markc1184 · 31-08-2013 05:26PM

Ive no problem lending to my mam, girlfriend or GFs dad as I've always got it back in the past. Not a hope I'd lend to my sister, GFs mam or sister. Anyone else it depends how well I know them.

For small amounts in a shop for lunch etc id give to my close friends.

Talib Fiasco · 31-08-2013 05:26PM

Well I have lended over 10k to online poker websites in my 19 years on Earth. Still waiting for them to return it :rolleyes:

But yeah I've lended a few hundred to friends and stuff if they needed it urgently. A friend got his sliding door smashed in last year and I popped him 400 euro on the spot. He's only got a credit union account so had no access to cash. Later that day his father came to collect him and wrote me a cheque.

Caonima · 31-08-2013 05:30PM

Talib Fiasco wrote: »

He's only got a credit union account so had no access to cash.

His name's not Bertie, is it?

Talib Fiasco · 31-08-2013 05:33PM

Caonima wrote: »

His name's not Bertie, is it?

Bertie is a relation of mine, not a friend of mine.

Caonima · 31-08-2013 05:34PM

Talib Fiasco wrote: »

Bertie is a relation of mine, not a friend of mine.

Oh, I think EVERYBODY is a relation of B-B-Bertie :mad:

Frosty McSnowballs · 31-08-2013 05:34PM

Lent one of my best mates €2000. He owed money to some bold boys and if they didn't get it that day there were going to put him in a wheelchair.

Fast forward 7 years later, he is living permanently in Australia the last 4 years. Haven't heard a peep from him. He was home here for his brothers wedding last month and fecked off back to Oz without even letting me know he was home.

Oh, not a penny did I get back.

Mysteriouschic · 31-08-2013 06:07PM

I'd lend more to close friends but only lend maybe like €1-5 to others I'm not the closest to . I usually lend a fair bit but I don't mind too much I just make sure as long as they aren't asking me too much.

cletus van damme · 31-08-2013 06:52PM

Caonima wrote: »

True this. Reminds me of a friend's horror story over here in China. He married a girl who was from a kinda poor family... well, not wealthy, anyway. His parents-in-law every two or three months would ask his wife for a "lend" of some money, which inevitably was never paid back. This has been going on for about 18 months now. At the start of the summer he began pressing his wife about it and she eventually had a long talk with her parents.

Where was the money going? To her cousin (a guy who she didn't see much); the money was paying for a full-time babysitter to take care of his kid whilst the cousin and his wife were both out working, pulling in some decent money!!!

He was totally taken for a ride, but being China the family (her parents) would have lost a lot of face if he had cut the supply of cash off.

No idea how much he's given so far, but this guy works two jobs to maintain his lifestyle over here.

sorry please explain that again?

her parents would have lost face for not paying for their nephew's babysitter?
what about his parents?

or I got that wrong?

Caonima · 31-08-2013 07:08PM

cletus van damme wrote: »

sorry please explain that again?

her parents would have lost face for not paying for their nephew's babysitter?
what about his parents?

or I got that wrong?

Right, no problem.

So, the face thing... being seen to be doing well is just part of it, but we'll focus on that.

Over here, families try to help each other out, which is obviously very understandable normally. However, sometimes families take the piss and ask for help, even if they don't need it (which obviously the family of the cousin didn't need). But having their daughter married to a 外国人 (foreigner), the family had basically gained credibility.

So, long story short, the relatives probably chanced their arm and said some shite like "oh, your daughter is married to a foreigner and doing so well, maybe they could help their cousin out", totally ignoring the fact that the cousin is in a dual-income family and probably doing pretty well. The whole face thing usually means that you can't (or shouldn't) decline an request for help so his wife's parents probably acquiesced and spoke to the daughter who in turn spoke to my mate. Being the decent guy, he said okay.

Families over here, they like to (1) look like they're doing well, and (2) seem like they have the ability to help others and gain influence and respect, but often it gets used against them. This is sadly especially the case where foreigners are involved; some families see them as a meal ticket and really ride them. I have another Scottish friend here who is basically paying the mortgage on a new house bought by his wife's parents, even though he doesn't live anywhere near them.

Anyway, my mate (call him Jo) is ponying up (approximately) e1,200 every two or three months, so he told me. I know the cost of a housekeeper, a decent one anyway, is about ~e400 per month, so the figures seem accurate. But it galls me, and I was incredulous when he told me. You know what the worst part is? Another one of his wife's cousin's families is asking 'Jo's' wife if another one of her cousins can stay in Jo's apartment when he works in Shanghai (no rent, obviously) for a few years. Jo's a nice guy, but he's really beginning to appraise his situation now. He's trying for a baby with his wife but has these constant demands on him by his extended family. I'd have told them all to fuck off myself, but he's obviously burdened by those awful English middle class manners of his :P

Kerplunk124 · 31-08-2013 07:10PM

Friend of mine owes me a hundred quid from ages back

ScumLord · 31-08-2013 08:05PM

cloud493 wrote: »

Like, Buying someone a drink in a shop

I wouldn't consider that a loan or often expect it back.

Caonima · 31-08-2013 08:07PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I wouldn't consider that a loan or often expect it back.

True, that's more the natural "I'll get ya next time" thing. Not sure what you call that.

gcgirl · 31-08-2013 08:22PM

Only to people I trust and know I'm gonna get it back off

Stabshauptmann · 31-08-2013 08:35PM

In college I worked with a girl from eastern Europe whose boyfriend beat her. The week she moved out we didn't get paid (Christmas policy was to pay full time staff a week in advance and part timers two weeks in arrears). She was distraught and so I lent her one weeks wages. It took 6 months of walking her to the ATM after work to get paid back (she was paying like 20eur a week). Never spoke to her again once I got the last of my money.

First year after college I was still living with a friend who was in his final year. I lent him 2k as his student loan was due to be repaid before his grant came in. When his grant came in he didnt repay me - he had borrowed off other friends as well and had a holiday planned with his GF. Took me 3months to get repaid. We fell out and shockingly I lost all friends from that group because "I acted like a dick about the money".

I was travelling with 3 friends on three separate trips last year. On each trip there was a lot of lending. The first guy left me in the lurch for 150euo at the end of the trip, but that didnt make me change tact for the other two trips.

I think, tbh, I keep saying I wont lend people money but despite repeatedly being burned I still do. I've told my friends I wont lend money at all, but from time to time I act as an ATM when people are short on cash on the condition that they internet bank me the money back on an agreed date. One friend is really bad about missing those repayment deadlines. Another friend owes me 10euro that I'm just going to write off rather than remind him (but it does kinda annoy me).

GreeBo · 31-08-2013 08:36PM

Caonima wrote: »

True, that's more the natural "I'll get ya next time" thing. Not sure what you call that.

I find that can be the most dangerous.
All of a sudden you realise that its always you who does the buying.

I load small amounts to people for lunch, etc, usually give a 10 or 20 as its easier to payback and not worry about change.
Would lend my siblings money if asked, though like my parents, if they need money I would probably just give it to them. Never lend to my parents, everything I have is down to them so they are welcome to it.

Most I have lent someone is an ex €1000 in two batches of 500, for medical expenses. Havent seen it back but havent asked either, I dont think a gift turns into a loan just because you break up.

iamcornholio · 31-08-2013 08:36PM

I'd buy people a pint, lunch or whatever if there stuck. I would never lend anyone money directly. It's too much hassle.

Caonima · 31-08-2013 08:38PM

Stabshauptmann wrote: »

In college I worked with a girl from eastern europe who's boyfriend beat her.

* whose

:D:D:D

Sorry, nice story

michellie · 13-10-2013 10:46PM

michellie wrote: »

I gave a friend a loan a few weeks back from my Christmas savings, I've no problems with giving loans to someone you trust.

Just wanted to add to this, that I have still not got my money back. Starting to get VERY pissed off at friend and warned friend I need the money By the end of October or the **** is going to hit the fan!

This money is my Xmas savings for my daughters presents. And this was a good friend.

PhlegmyMoses · 13-10-2013 10:52PM

You should only ever loan what you can afford to not get back. No way I'd be giving Christmas savings to a mate unless I was willing to write it off. I don't really have to save for Christmas so I can only imagine how tight it gets for people that do.

That being said, I give payday loans to a few people from work from time to time. 50 quid here or 100 quid there. Usually get it back within a couple of months but if I didn't, it wouldn't ruin the friendship. It would just mean that I wouldn't loan them money again.

michellie · 13-10-2013 11:10PM

PhlegmyMoses wrote: »

You should only ever loan what you can afford to not get back. No way I'd be giving Christmas savings to a mate unless I was willing to write it off. I don't really have to save for Christmas so I can only imagine how tight it gets for people that do.

That being said, I give payday loans to a few people from work from time to time. 50 quid here or 100 quid there. Usually get it back within a couple of months but if I didn't, it wouldn't ruin the friendship. It would just mean that I wouldn't loan them money again.

I never ever give loans but I did because it's a close friend who was paying it back as soon as she got a cheque. I'm livid over it,have kept quiet but will be spilling this soon to our other friends, if she doesn't cough up, I'm disgusted with her. It has ruined the friendship already.

Never ever again will I loan someone !

Do you lend people money?

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