Do you lend people money?

cloud493

Just something that came up in the stingy thread, do you lend people money? Like, Buying someone a drink in a shop or even a much larger sum. Some people say they don't cos it ruins friendships, etc, which is something I agree with. I have a 'friend' who owes me 1300 euro, and even if I get it back, it will have ruined the friendship for me. So I dunno. How about you guys?

Menas

Need any new friends OP?

Sauve

cloud493 wrote: »

Just something that came up in the stingy thread, do you lend people money? Like, Buying someone a drink in a shop or even a much larger sum. Some people say they don't cos it ruins friendships, etc, which is something I agree with. I have a 'friend' who owes me 1300 euro, and even if I get it back, it will have ruined the friendship for me. So I dunno. How about you guys?

That person is no friend of yours. Get your money back and cut your losses.


For a small amount of money, I have no problem with it. I've often lent my friends money when we're out/doing something, and vice versa. Without fail, we'll get the money back to each other asap
I've never been asked to loan someone a large amount, they probably know I don't have it anyway, but I can see how it would put strain on a relationship if someone took the píss a bit.

RachaelVO

Wouldn't lend money as such no. No problem in buying a drink, of even a few pints of a night out. I'll have them to dinner and not even think about, cos well, why would I? I'd even give them 20euro rather than lend it to them.

DEFTLEFTHAND

300% vig which goes up by 10% for each week past payment. Loan Sharking is very difficult to operate. The Numbers is a far easier racket, small money from each individual in a big neighbourhood.

Jester252

€20 is the max I would give. Most would pay it back the next day without me having to ask.

MonstaMash

No..I'm fookin skint :P

Neither a borrower or a lender be...if I can't afford it, I do without.

I've owed friends up to a grand and have had close enough to that amount owed to me. I don't understand how someone could be a poor enough judge of character to get "caught out" by a friend borrowing money.
For pints, a bite to eat, cinema etc., one buying for another is never an issue either.

oldyouth

I've lent money to family and never had a problem. I've helped out others and I'll never see some of it back. I did that knowing the likely outcome, but it was the right thing to do at the time

Caonima

Stopped lending money to people - been burned once or twice in the last 2 years or so. Coupla hundred each time.

Corvo

I would, but quite selectively.

Once they don't pay it back once, they never get it again. No matter who it is.

If I got a lend, the first thing I always do is pay them back as soon I have it. It's a respect thing.

KwackerJack

I loaned €500 to my 'best mate' a few years back, never seen him since!

In hindsight it was worth it not to see him as he was getting irritating to the point where I could not stand him.

I gave him the money as he was about to be thrown out of his house, maybe I should of let it happen and force him into realising he needs to cop on!

Anyway No after that I would not unless I has something of value to that friend to use as collateral.

Grayson

I'm quite generous. I'll buy rounds/coffees etc all the time. And I'll lend friends money. I have two sets of friends who owe me money at the moment.

1) I lived with them (a couple0. I moved out and bills were in my name. they said they were going to call the companies and get them changed over. they never did. When i asked for the money they fobbed me off and said they would in a couple of weeks. They have never attempted to contact me. That's €300 down the drain but to be honest it's worth it if i never see them again.

2) I have another set of friends (another couple). We all moved out. But the rent came out of their account. I forgot to cancel the direct debit. So an extra months rent (about €300) went into their account. They'd moved country and were pretty broke so I let them know but said they could pay me back whenever. They never did and at this stage I'm pretty certain they just forgot about it. They are however incredibly generous. They have always been the best friends I could ask for and have always been there for me. In this case I really don't care about the money.

See, at the end of the day it's just money. What matters are the people involved.

caustic 1

i have done....in some cases it was returned..in others no .. but I didn't do it thinking when are they going to pay me back.. it was given in the understanding when you get sorted out you give it back and if not don't worry about it. I know what it's like to fret about money and I was in a position to help. I might one day be in the same position where I need a helping hand.

cloud493

Aye I mean I wouldn't be his mate now, but it seems being friendly is the best way to get the money back if possible.

timthumbni

20 quid or so is fine as even if it doesn't come back it won't kill you.

I have found myself lending out more and am still waiting on its return. It does put a strain on the friendship and for that reason I wouldn't lend again like that.

Anytime I have borrowed (say if my card was eaten) I made a point of paying the money back immediately.

DeanAustin

caustic 1 wrote: »

i have done....in some cases it was returned..in others no .. but I didn't do it thinking when are they going to pay me back.. it was given in the understanding when you get sorted out you give it back and if not don't worry about it. I know what it's like to fret about money and I was in a position to help. I might one day be in the same position where I need a helping hand.

Exactly this. Ive a mate who borrows regularly. He will pay some back and then need to borrow again. I just work on the basis that he will pay when he can afford it or if I really need it. He never tries to ignore it or round the number down.

Im in the fortunate position where I earn a good chunk more than him but that could change tomorrow and if it did, I know he would give me the shirt off his back.

My mates are worth more to me than a few quid.

iCrazzy

Now before all this I had a savings account for me and my family of 25,000

My brother back at home, got tangled up into some ''business'' and owed money to around 20 people after ''borrowing'' from them, I do not even know why he borrowed so much and for what reason, he won't even tell anyone(He says to me it is for his shop, but I do not believe that bull crap.)
So the people who he borrowed money of came knocking at his door, asking to repay the money, and he had lost his job(he owned a car parts shop) they would keep annoying him,by threatening to kill and harm him and such sort until he gave the money he owned to them.
My brother and his family live in my mothers house.
So my mother would get annoyed, depressed and worried very often.
So my mother called me one fine afternoon(obvs my brother would not dare to call me saying HE LOANED 23,000E as I would go to him and kick his **. She said to give him the money, and all that, he is really sad and worried, he does not know what to do know anymore, you are the only brother who will give help him, as my other brother is in a complicated situation of his own.

So for my mothers sake(as the people who my brother owed money to would keep ringing the house phone and all sort of stuff.) I gave 25,000E

To this day, my relations(who all have a story of their own) owe me 41,000E

Happy days !!!!!!!

iCrazzy

P.S. word of advice, don't owe money to relations, as they are the only filthy people in this world of business who ''never'' and I mean ''never'' will repay you back

BNMC

Yes but only to close family and friends. It's nice to help when someone is stuck. Only one friend owes me money (€500), I lent it to him over a month ago and he text me the other day saying he will give it to me this weekend.

I'd like to think the favor would be returned if I was ever stuck for a few bob.

cletus van damme

i have done in the past and it's always hassle

a few rounds in the pub is fine but otherwise I've learned from experience it's painful.

never lent much though more than a few hundred.

Northern Monkey

Money has no value until it's spent! I've never had to lend friends money, but would quite often book flights or hotels for all of us if we go away for a weekend and not get paid for it until we get there (months later). This doesn't bother me because I know I will get it back eventually.

PrettyBoy

I will loan money to certain people if I'm sure they'll pay me back. A couple of years ago I loaned one friend in particular €500 and told him to pay me back whenever he could, which he did. He returned the favour last year. If he asked me for a loan of €1,000 this afternoon I'd give it to him without thinking twice because I know he would pay me back, and he knows I'd do the same for him.

Plumpynutt

Yes, I'll lend money to people who I know are good for it. the way my group of friends work is, we support the "weakest link" so to speak. Whoever is the currently broke person will be given money, nights out paid for etc etc, with the implicit trust that they will return the favour when someone else is broke. it's a fairly good system that works well enough.

The most I ever lent someone was €1000 to one of my best friends so that he could come away to Spain with the rest of us, although I knew he was good for it and he paid me back in full within the next year

RobertKK

iCrazzy wrote: »

P.S. word of advice, don't owe money to relations, as they are the only filthy people in this world of business who ''never'' and I mean ''never'' will repay you back

It depends on the family.

I had no trouble with lending money to relations.

keith16

Lent a casual acquintance / colleague about €200 quid once. Never saw it again.

eamonnq

It is always worth lending someone you consider a friend a few bob, and if they don't pay you back you will have found out a bit more about what they are really like.

Small amounts not paid back, but worth it!!

IrishExpat

€20 or so, here and there to family members would be the height of it these days. I learned that lesson the hard way.

Max. outstanding debt someone has to me is just over €100, which I will never see again.

That said it only cost me €100 to get rid of an wholly irresponsible junkie (who I now know to be running out of allies on a near daily basis) and who would have potentially cost me more time/money-wise if debt wasn't there to keep contact at bay.

thehomeofDob

I've lent large sums of cash to my parents, it all gets recorded and they have a small weekly standing order that generally keeps the balance owed to a low enough amount. I'm happy enough to give them whatever they want whenever they need it, as they sacrificed massively to bring me and my siblings up.

My younger and older brother ask for short term loans every so often, no more than 100-200 quid. I'll generally get it back within a month or so or they'll pay it off weekly if they're still skint.

I used to buy rounds a lot, or pay for coffee etc but not so much any more. Most of my friends are still skint and can just about afford their own nights out let alone worry about buying someone else drink. I don't hold a grudge or anything, only it's better for own own wallet if I pay for my own stuff and let them pay for theirs.

Driveby Dogboy

lent a mate a couple hundred quid a while ago, but i'm gettin it back next week... any time i see him its always 'oh, i'll have that for you next week', i dont mind cos he's good craic and i know i'll get it back eventually.

cheers for starting the thread by the way, theres other money i had lent out that i totally forgot about, but thats more a long term thing

Caonima

iCrazzy wrote: »

P.S. word of advice, don't owe money to relations, as they are the only filthy people in this world of business who ''never'' and I mean ''never'' will repay you back

True this. Reminds me of a friend's horror story over here in China. He married a girl who was from a kinda poor family... well, not wealthy, anyway. His parents-in-law every two or three months would ask his wife for a "lend" of some money, which inevitably was never paid back. This has been going on for about 18 months now. At the start of the summer he began pressing his wife about it and she eventually had a long talk with her parents.

Where was the money going? To her cousin (a guy who she didn't see much); the money was paying for a full-time babysitter to take care of his kid whilst the cousin and his wife were both out working, pulling in some decent money!!!

He was totally taken for a ride, but being China the family (her parents) would have lost a lot of face if he had cut the supply of cash off.

No idea how much he's given so far, but this guy works two jobs to maintain his lifestyle over here.

michellie

I gave a friend a loan a few weeks back from my Christmas savings, I've no problems with giving loans to someone you trust.

Galwayguy35

I gave someone I thought was my friend a loan of €300 a few years ago and never got it back, that might not sound much but it was to me and the fooker has done a good job of avoiding me since.

I learnt my lesson though and will never loan anyone money again.

Highflyer13

Yeah have loaned mates and family money numerous times and in most cases I have to go ask for it back myself. I get annoyed having to lend people money when they have full time jobs and are living at home like my bro for example who pissed and gambled his money away every month in the days after payday and left himself with no money to get to work for 3 weeks every month. Some people are just full on irresponsible.

Teagwee

Interesting that we haven't (so far) heard from anyone who owes money to a friend/relation and has reneged on the deal. From my experience and many others here, there are loads of them around! Or maybe it's a case of 'Eaten bread is soon forgotten'?
My policy now is not to lend anything (money or whatever) that I can't afford to actually give away permanently. Therefore, the non-return of same will not sicken my happiness in bitterness, which is really what happens when your so called friend lets you down.

Caonima

Teagwee wrote: »

Interesting that we haven't (so far) heard from anyone who owes money to a friend/relation and has reneged on the deal.

Don't expect anything like this here. Start a thread about "did you ever renege on a loan" and give an example of how you did, and prepare for the moral high ground to pelt you with slings and arrows all day.

Personally, I don't really like asking for things from people; I never know how to broach the topic.

Wacker The Attacker

neither a borrower nor a lender be

Caonima

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

neither a borrower nor a lender be

Probably an apropos philosophy, although it's tough when someone you know pretty well asks you for a few quid for something. There's a certain self-allocated guilt in saying no to them, I feel.

pragmatic1

Galwayguy35 wrote: »

I gave someone I thought was my friend a loan of €300 a few years ago and never got it back, that might not sound much but it was to me and the fooker has done a good job of avoiding me since.

I learnt my lesson though and will never loan anyone money again.

Yep same thing happened to me for around the same amount. It was a friend who I'd consider very close but she never paid me back.

We're just acquaintances now.

Hank Scorpio

Only to siblings

candy-gal1

No, unless the person means something to me or the thing in question means a lot to them and I have the cash for it, other than that nope!

markc1184

Ive no problem lending to my mam, girlfriend or GFs dad as I've always got it back in the past. Not a hope I'd lend to my sister, GFs mam or sister. Anyone else it depends how well I know them.

For small amounts in a shop for lunch etc id give to my close friends.

Talib Fiasco

Well I have lended over 10k to online poker websites in my 19 years on Earth. Still waiting for them to return it :rolleyes:

But yeah I've lended a few hundred to friends and stuff if they needed it urgently. A friend got his sliding door smashed in last year and I popped him 400 euro on the spot. He's only got a credit union account so had no access to cash. Later that day his father came to collect him and wrote me a cheque.

Caonima

Talib Fiasco wrote: »

He's only got a credit union account so had no access to cash.

His name's not Bertie, is it?

Talib Fiasco

Caonima wrote: »

His name's not Bertie, is it?

Bertie is a relation of mine, not a friend of mine.

Caonima

Talib Fiasco wrote: »

Bertie is a relation of mine, not a friend of mine.

Oh, I think EVERYBODY is a relation of B-B-Bertie :mad:

Frosty McSnowballs

Lent one of my best mates €2000. He owed money to some bold boys and if they didn't get it that day there were going to put him in a wheelchair.

Fast forward 7 years later, he is living permanently in Australia the last 4 years. Haven't heard a peep from him. He was home here for his brothers wedding last month and fecked off back to Oz without even letting me know he was home.

Oh, not a penny did I get back.

Mysteriouschic

I'd lend more to close friends but only lend maybe like €1-5 to others I'm not the closest to . I usually lend a fair bit but I don't mind too much I just make sure as long as they aren't asking me too much.

cletus van damme

Caonima wrote: »

True this. Reminds me of a friend's horror story over here in China. He married a girl who was from a kinda poor family... well, not wealthy, anyway. His parents-in-law every two or three months would ask his wife for a "lend" of some money, which inevitably was never paid back. This has been going on for about 18 months now. At the start of the summer he began pressing his wife about it and she eventually had a long talk with her parents.

Where was the money going? To her cousin (a guy who she didn't see much); the money was paying for a full-time babysitter to take care of his kid whilst the cousin and his wife were both out working, pulling in some decent money!!!

He was totally taken for a ride, but being China the family (her parents) would have lost a lot of face if he had cut the supply of cash off.

No idea how much he's given so far, but this guy works two jobs to maintain his lifestyle over here.

sorry please explain that again?

her parents would have lost face for not paying for their nephew's babysitter?
what about his parents?

or I got that wrong?

Caonima

cletus van damme wrote: »

sorry please explain that again?

her parents would have lost face for not paying for their nephew's babysitter?
what about his parents?

or I got that wrong?

Right, no problem.

So, the face thing... being seen to be doing well is just part of it, but we'll focus on that.

Over here, families try to help each other out, which is obviously very understandable normally. However, sometimes families take the piss and ask for help, even if they don't need it (which obviously the family of the cousin didn't need). But having their daughter married to a 外国人 (foreigner), the family had basically gained credibility.

So, long story short, the relatives probably chanced their arm and said some shite like "oh, your daughter is married to a foreigner and doing so well, maybe they could help their cousin out", totally ignoring the fact that the cousin is in a dual-income family and probably doing pretty well. The whole face thing usually means that you can't (or shouldn't) decline an request for help so his wife's parents probably acquiesced and spoke to the daughter who in turn spoke to my mate. Being the decent guy, he said okay.

Families over here, they like to (1) look like they're doing well, and (2) seem like they have the ability to help others and gain influence and respect, but often it gets used against them. This is sadly especially the case where foreigners are involved; some families see them as a meal ticket and really ride them. I have another Scottish friend here who is basically paying the mortgage on a new house bought by his wife's parents, even though he doesn't live anywhere near them.

Anyway, my mate (call him Jo) is ponying up (approximately) e1,200 every two or three months, so he told me. I know the cost of a housekeeper, a decent one anyway, is about ~e400 per month, so the figures seem accurate. But it galls me, and I was incredulous when he told me. You know what the worst part is? Another one of his wife's cousin's families is asking 'Jo's' wife if another one of her cousins can stay in Jo's apartment when he works in Shanghai (no rent, obviously) for a few years. Jo's a nice guy, but he's really beginning to appraise his situation now. He's trying for a baby with his wife but has these constant demands on him by his extended family. I'd have told them all to fuck off myself, but he's obviously burdened by those awful English middle class manners of his :P

Kerplunk124

Friend of mine owes me a hundred quid from ages back