Yummy mummy & tummy mummy traffic chaos expected this week.

Lando Griffin · 26-08-2013 02:36PM #1

So after a summer of painstakingly minding our little ones it’s once again time to dump them into the education system for another 10 months or so.
Unlike thousands of other yummy mummies and bulged jegging clad wans, Lando will adjust time accordingly in the morning and leave the house 15 minutes earlier to ensure a pleasurable driving experience to school for all.
I will park in a car park provided and not across the emergency gate or double parked at the bus stop.
I will indicate when wishing to enter a line of traffic and not expect other road users to mind read my intentions.
I will not dispose of my fag end at the school gate.
Any other tips for road users coming up to back to school time?

super_furry · 26-08-2013 02:39PM

I bet you carry a lot of tension in your shoulders.

seamus · 26-08-2013 02:45PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Any other tips for road users coming up to back to school time?

Walk your kids to school. It'll be quicker and you'll all stop getting so damn fat.

Fr_Dougal · 26-08-2013 02:47PM

Yay! Free childcare!

BillyMitchel · 26-08-2013 02:50PM

As disgusting as throwing your cig butts on the ground is, it hardly adds to "traffic chaos" unless there's an oil tanker coming towards you and it blows up because of the cig butt.

Perv at the MILFs, it makes time go faster.

Lando Griffin · 26-08-2013 02:50PM

seamus wrote: »

Walk your kids to school. It'll be quicker and you'll all stop getting so damn fat.

Very good suggestion.

Although it would be impossible for me to walk my kids to school and it is approx 10 miles away, I am sick to the teeth of people who use the car when only a less then a mile from it.

jimgoose · 26-08-2013 02:51PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

...Any other tips for road users coming up to back to school time?

Aye. Buy a couple of bicycles and stop driving the little brutes around like they were the Sultan of Brunei.

Valetta · 26-08-2013 02:53PM

Do you drive an SUV?

If so, all your good intentions come to nowt.

Lando Griffin · 26-08-2013 02:59PM

Valetta wrote: »

Do you drive an SUV?

If so, all your good intentions come to nowt.

I drive a modest if not unimpressive family saloon, one of the leaders in its class for low carbon emissions whilst achieving excellent MPG in both rural and urban driving environments.

Valetta · 26-08-2013 03:01PM

Lando Griffin wrote: »

I drive a modest if not unimpressive family saloon, one of the leaders in its class for low carbon emissions whilst achieving excellent MPG in both rural and urban driving environments.

I think you should be ok so.

But no pyjamas, right?

Lando Griffin · 26-08-2013 03:04PM

Valetta wrote: »

I think you should be ok so.

But no pyjamas, right?

If I worked as a Pajama model, then yes, but I don't so no.

byronbay2 · 26-08-2013 03:10PM

BillyMitchel wrote: »

Perv at the MILFs, it makes time go faster.

There is absolutely nothing perverted about a man ogling MILFs at the school gates - it's the most natural thing in the world!

wexie · 26-08-2013 03:14PM

byronbay2 wrote: »

There is absolutely nothing perverted about a man ogling MILFs at the school gates - it's the most natural thing in the world!

I've yet to see any MILFS when collecting my kids from school, most disappointing

Seen plenty of PJ's though :eek:

danniemcq · 26-08-2013 03:15PM

Whatever happened the school bus?

syklops · 26-08-2013 03:18PM

Whats a tummy mummy?

FreshKnickers · 26-08-2013 03:19PM

Forgive my ignorance but what's 'tummy mummy' when it's at home? Is it the overweight mammies?

Eh, answer syklops first, sure.

byronbay2 · 26-08-2013 03:20PM

wexie wrote: »

I've yet to see any MILFS when collecting my kids from school, most disappointing

Seen plenty of PJ's though :eek:

Without wanting to offend you, it's a well known fact that all Wexford women are skanks and mingers.

jester77 · 26-08-2013 03:21PM

danniemcq wrote: »

Whatever happened the school bus?

exactly, no one was driven to school when I was a kid. Lots of us had to walk 10-20 mins to get the bus, even in the rain. Kids are not brittle, the walk to the bus will do them good and the fresh air will clear their minds in time for class.

sbsquarepants · 26-08-2013 03:23PM

syklops wrote: »

Whats a tummy mummy?

It's the bit between the tits and vag son, now do your homework:D

danniemcq · 26-08-2013 03:25PM

jester77 wrote: »

exactly, no one was driven to school when I was a kid. Lots of us had to walk 10-20 mins to get the bus, even in the rain. Kids are not brittle, the walk to the bus will do them good and the fresh air will clear their minds in time for class.

heh i had a 25 minute bus journey. Plenty of time to get my math homework and sometimes my English homework too.

syklops · 26-08-2013 03:27PM

danniemcq wrote: »

Whatever happened the school bus?

Well if your little darling lives more than about 300 metres from the school bus stop, evil bearded paedos might snatch said little darling, so you might as well drive them to the bus stop, and since your in the car anyway, instead of waiting for the bus to come, you might as well drop them to school.

wexie · 26-08-2013 03:28PM

byronbay2 wrote: »

Without wanting to offend you, it's a well known fact that all Wexford women are skanks and mingers.

No offence taken, we're imports

chopper6 · 26-08-2013 03:31PM

jester77 wrote: »

exactly, no one was driven to school when I was a kid. Lots of us had to walk 10-20 mins to get the bus, even in the rain. Kids are not brittle, the walk to the bus will do them good and the fresh air will clear their minds in time for class.

+1.

Kids are treated like fine bone china these days,getting brought everywhere in SUVs.

When i was a kid the *only* kid who got picked up and dropped off by car was a porker known as "Fatty Moron".

CrazyRabbit · 26-08-2013 03:34PM

Don't be so lazy. Quit your job and homeschool the kids!

:P

danniemcq · 26-08-2013 03:35PM

syklops wrote: »

Well if your little darling lives more than about 300 metres from the school bus stop, evil bearded paedos might snatch said little darling, so you might as well drive them to the bus stop, and since your in the car anyway, instead of waiting for the bus to come, you might as well drop them to school.

True its not like most abductions come from close friends/family members....

76% compared to 24% strangers

anncoates · 26-08-2013 03:38PM

Just leave for work 20 minutes earlier during school term.

Blood pressure lower.

World does not end.

FIN.

Lando Griffin · 26-08-2013 03:40PM

20 minutes is pushing it, wouldn't probably get the Sky Sports Surf report.

jimgoose · 26-08-2013 03:40PM

syklops wrote: »

Whats a tummy mummy?

At a guess, I'd say it's a Mum who's expecting another one.

NegativeCreep · 26-08-2013 03:41PM

Have an exam on Friday. My blood pressure will be through the roof going in with all the traffic! Let your kids take the bus people!

anncoates · 26-08-2013 03:48PM

Kids are hardly going to be walking or getting the bus to school unaccompanied until at least 4th or 5th class. I assume it's far more common these days to have both parents working and if so, they probably might have to drive on to work after dropping kids off.

If kids have a parent that isn't working, fair enough it's slothful not to walk to school if it's within walking distance.

dxhound2005 · 26-08-2013 03:55PM

chopper6 wrote: »

+1.

Kids are treated like fine bone china these days,getting brought everywhere in SUVs.

When i was a kid the *only* kid who got picked up and dropped off by car was a porker known as "Fatty Moron".

I had to cycle 5 miles to school every day. When my father went to the parish priest to see if school transport could be provided for the locality part of his answer was "My good man, do you not know that Pope John (XXIII) walked 10 miles to school every day". I have no idea if he did but Wikipaedia says he was one of 14 children of sharecropper parents so it is very likely.

To complete the picture of austerity (nobody knew it was austerity then) I had no shoes just wellington boots.

Yummy mummy & tummy mummy traffic chaos expected this week.

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