Plus 1

April O Neill wrote: »

No?

People might want to ask partners but may not be able to afford to, doesn't meant the invitee isn't important to them. And not everyone is relying on the guests paying for their wedding.

What is the standard per person gift for a full wedding then. Hope I haven't been underpaying.......

April O Neill wrote: »

Whose terrible idea was that?

B&G were insistent that only couples could attend.

April O Neill wrote: »

Did they regret it in the end, can I ask?

No idea, the groom is well aware that we weren't impressed.

hoodwinked wrote: »

op if you just got the invitation just ask,


it happened with us where one of the grooms parents best friends (who we'd know very well and was like an uncle to the groom) had their teenage son with them the day of our wedding, they didn't feel it was appropriate to ask us could he join (but as it turned out someone couldn't make the dinner at the table next to theirs with others he'd have known sitting there) and we felt so bad after that he ate alone in the room, but we didn't know he was there, as soon as we did (talking to them after dinner) we told them to bring him down to join the party,


hotels can change numbers right up to last minute (and there is usually a last minute drop out) its not as big a deal as some people make out.

Why did they bring him to the wedding at all? When I got married last year I was in touch with the hotel alot coming up to the wedding to see what rooms were booked up and who was where, etc. During one conversation it turned out that a couple my husband invited (old childhood friends of his from home, hadn't seen them in years- I hardly knew them) had booked a room for not only them but their three children too! The invitation clearly stated X & Y not X&Y and your children or the X&Y Family. There were two names only but they assumed that of course we wanted their children there too. It was a difficult one to sort out but in the end we got the hotel to ask them if they required a babysitter for the evening as the bride and groom had laid on this service for those who couldn't find a baby sitter of their own and so had no option other than to bring their children.

teacheritis wrote: »

Found out, I didn't ask but my boyfriend is invited to the afters. I think my friend could've mentioned it to me earlier since we talk almost every day; I know others would say I shouldn't have assumed but I did.

I have gone to other friends weddings before when I was single and had the option of plus one, but didn't want to bring someone for the sake of it. But it was nice to have the option. I think it would be weird for weddings to become like this and I wouldn't want mine that way. Each to their own way though and I respect that.

We added plus ones (and used the name on the invitation) if we knew someone had a boy/girlfriend but we didn't issue plus ones with every invitation. Part of the reason was because we were stuck for numbers (although I'd have liked a smaller wedding, my husband found it hard enough not to have to invite Great Aunt A, B, C and cousin XZ several times removed and neighbour (ish) etc etc. His parents were all for us paying for them to have the wedding of their dreams via us and our bank account) and part of it was because I didn't want to have a whole load of people I didn't know there.
Everyone who was being invited, whether single or not, would know a good few of the other people going anyway and would hopefully meet some new people to get to know.

Fionn wrote: »

Any parties or events I've ever been invited to, the invite always extended to my partner, even in times where i was single i would still get a +1. How would they know if i had a g/f or not, and if i did get an invite only for me, I certainly wouldn't go! thats bloody presumptuous of anybody and really shows how close a friend you really are to them! (at least they could inquire!!!)

While the +1's were common during the boom years, I don't think it's any longer the norm.

You're saying that if they're a good friend they should enquire about your relationship status; I think that if they're good friends they'd probably know it without enquiring (except for some unusual circumstance where maybe you're living abroad or something and don't get to keep regularly in touch...)

I don't see the need for random +1's if a guest knows other people at the wedding. If someone is there alone and knows no one else, then fair enough, it would be considerate to let them bring someone.

We planned for couples for everyone we knew, just in case they were seeing someone last minute. Everyone knew someone at the wedding. We added a +1 only for one friend that had broken up with one of the other guests, who'd already started seeing someone else. It seemed only right that if they decided to attend, they may feel more comfortable having someone on their arm too.

I was in a similar position before with a friend of mine from uni. I got the invite to her wedding as well as a phone call a couple of months before the big day. In the meantime I met someone that I really liked. When she invited me I had been single so I didn't see any problem with asking her would it be possible to bring him (we would have been together about 5 weeks at the time). I had dated a few fellas before him and wouldn't have dreamt of asking her for them to come but he was different.

I think every situation is different and if you have a reason not to have plus 1s then that's fine but you may have to keep people up to date. Generally people are ok with things if they're given a heads up. 4 weeks notice isn't enough time in most jobs to get time off nowadays so I feel for the OPs boyfriend, bad form on the b and g for not giving more notice (rather than not inviting him as it's up to them who attends their wedding).