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Ladies your opinions on men using brothels and prostitutes

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Comments

  • #152
    shopaholic01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,916 ✭✭✭shopaholic01


    mariaalice wrote: »
    You are presuming that the that responders are judging the buyer and seller I am not judging, nor do I think the buyers or seller are bad or good, they are I am sure as varied as any human can be. My very simple point the act of paying IMO ( I am not speaking for others ) is part of a continuum of thinking along the way to money solves everything or its always about money all the way along the to why work at anything, why not just take the easy way out of everything, consume use discarded. I am not seeking to impose my personal opinions on anyone.
    Your problem seems to be that people pay for sex. Sex has always been a commodity that's bought and sold. It's even used as a commodity in some relationships - some people withhold sex until they get their own way etc. You can even argue that buying a date dinner and drinks is paying for sex.

    Take away the emotional aspect of sex - prostitution is simply providing a service for somebody to achieve orgasm with someone else. It's more rewarding than masturbation.

    I also don't see how you can have an issue with the fact that sex is paid for, without ultimately judging the buyer and seller.


  • #153
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    shopaholic01 wrote: »
    Your problem seems to be that people pay for sex. Sex has always been a commodity that's bought and sold. It's even used as a commodity in some relationships - some people withhold sex until they get their own way etc. You can even argue that buying a date dinner and drinks is paying for sex.

    Take away the emotional aspect of sex - prostitution is simply providing a service for somebody to achieve orgasm with someone else. It's more rewarding than masturbation.

    I also don't see how you can have an issue with the fact that sex is paid for, without ultimately judging the buyer and seller.

    Plus a million


  • #154
    loveisdivine
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,443 ✭✭✭loveisdivine


    Aslong as both parties are willing then I have absolutely no problem with it at all. I've come to realise that sex is only 1 part of a relationship. It is not sex alone that connects a couple. Some relationships are about way more than just sex, the bond between 2 people can be stronger than a purely physical act.

    I think sex should be enjoyed freely by all.


  • #155
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    loveisdivine wrote: »
    Aslong as both parties are willing then I have absolutely no problem with it at all. I've come to realise that sex is only 1 part of a relationship. It is not sex alone that connects a couple. Some relationships are about way more than just sex, the bond between 2 people can be stronger than a purely physical act.

    I think sex should be enjoyed freely by all.

    I tried that line with a prostitute last week.

    She laughed me all the way to the ATM


  • #156
    fockewulf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭fockewulf


    Emme wrote: »
    No. If you and your wife have agreed to an open marriage that's your business. Even so, why do you have to have sex with prostitutes when there are many other options available? Is paying for sex not somewhat dehumanising both to you and the prostitute? In a way it's akin to popping 20 cents into the slot of a public toilet, going in, doing your business and going out when you're finished.

    You could take a mistress.

    You could go online - there are plenty of websites where you can find willing like minded people for NSA encounters.

    Go to another city for a weekend and take your chances in clubs and bars. If you are reasonably attractive your are pretty much guaranteed to score.

    I'm sure you use protection already but it is imperative to use protection in your situation.


    Take a mistress? How quaint.

    I don't need a relationship - I need sex occasionally with a mature willing participant who is fluent in the English language. If it so happens to be a business transaction where one party provides the service and the other pays (handsomely) for it - I don't see the issue.


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  • #157
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    People have needs. They will do what they need to do to get them met.

    This includes drugs. We need to escape, fleeing is part of out primitive make up, like fighting, like ****ing. So people turn to drugs, they turn to alcohol, they turn to sports, they turn to whatever they can turn to. So the problem is not the need but findin healthy ways in which that need can be met.

    So another example. People need to pee, especially after they've been drinking. So the problem may manifest on Saturday nights with men pissing all over Dublin. When nature calls, she calls. So ....what's the solution? More public urinals.

    Same for sex. The more prohibitions around female sexuality there are, the more constrictions in marriage, the more bored resentful wives there are, the more pressure there are on meant be hot, charming, transcendent lovers, the choosier women are, the less men's needs get met, and so they find a way to get those needs met. So it's prostitutes, or each other, or god forbid children.


  • #158
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Same for sex. The more prohibitions around female sexuality there are, the more constrictions in marriage, the more bored resentful wives there are, the more pressure there are on meant be hot, charming, transcendent lovers, the choosier women are, the less men's needs get met, and so they find a way to get those needs met. So it's prostitutes, or each other, or god forbid children.


    My heart bleeds. Not getting at you claire but sex is not a "need", nor an entitlement, and before anyone jumps in with "people are biologically programmed to reproduce as the basis of evolution", reproduction is not the basis of sex work.

    Sex work is an industry borne out of convenience. Some men and women can't be arsed to make the effort to find a willing sexual partner so they skip what they see as an inconvenience and pay for a fantasy instead.


  • #159
    Hermione*
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,983 ✭✭✭✭Hermione*


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    so they find a way to get those needs met. So it's prostitutes, or each other, or god forbid children.
    Mod:

    Can we dial back on the sensationalism, please? Homosexuality and paedophilia (it does not feel right to refer to those two alongside each other :() are probably the result of stronger underlying impulses, rather than dudes not getting their end away in a while.

    Thanks.
    Hermione*


  • #160
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    My heart bleeds. Not getting at you claire but sex is not a "need", nor an entitlement, and before anyone jumps in with "people are biologically programmed to reproduce as the basis of evolution", reproduction is not the basis of sex work.

    Sex work is an industry borne out of convenience. Some men and women can't be arsed to make the effort to find a willing sexual partner so they skip what they see as an inconvenience and pay for a fantasy instead.

    Are you saying its born out of either wanting to avoid or failing at usual courtship protocols?


  • #161
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Are you saying its born out of either wanting to avoid or failing at usual courtship protocols?
    Courtship has nothing to with it, sex is a commodity to them which can be bought or sold. You're not looking to acquire the person just the service they provide.


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  • #162
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    clairefontaine wrote: »
    Are you saying its born out of either wanting to avoid or failing at usual courtship protocols?


    No claire, I'm saying it's borne out of convenience. Wanting to avoid or failing at usual courtship protocols is a completely separate issue, and visiting a sex worker isn't going to do anything to solve that problem long term, so the short term solution of visiting a sex worker is convenient for those people that have the means to pay for it.


  • #163
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    My heart bleeds. Not getting at you claire but sex is not a "need", nor an entitlement, and before anyone jumps in with "people are biologically programmed to reproduce as the basis of evolution", reproduction is not the basis of sex work.

    Sex work is an industry borne out of convenience. Some men and women can't be arsed to make the effort to find a willing sexual partner so they skip what they see as an inconvenience and pay for a fantasy instead.

    I disagree with you.

    Sex is most certainly a need. I'm not sure how you define 'need', but I fail to recognize any definition that would not contain sexual desire.

    As to whether or not it is an entitlement, well that's just part of the semantics and language of feminism, of which I am an advocate.
    Saying a man is not entitled to sex is, on the one hand, stating the obvious.
    But nor is he entitled to respect, a job, happiness, security etc etc.

    I absolutely think every man, and every woman are entitled to sex, in the sense that suggesting that someone should live their life without experiencing it is a weird kind of cruelty in my opinion.


  • #164
    GalwayGuy2
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,269 ✭✭✭GalwayGuy2


    Sex is most certainly a need. I'm not sure how you define 'need', but I fail to recognize any definition that would not contain sexual desire.

    Tbh, I think it's more a need for intimacy than orgasm. That could be one explanation for why so many men who identify as straight sleep with other men in prison. I guess sex is one way to show intimacy.
    Originally Posted by clairefontaine viewpost.gif
    so they find a way to get those needs met. So it's prostitutes, or each other, or god forbid children.

    I couldn't disagree with that more. If a man is not having sex, or experiencing any kind of intimacy, then he is not going to attack a child. Its quite plain and simply not going to happen, unless something else has happened that has turned him into a pedophile.

    And homosexuality is part of the perfectly healthy sphere of sexuality, pedophilia is part of the spectrum of sexuality that is an abomination. You honestly cannot compare them.


  • #165
    clairefontaine
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,390 ✭✭✭clairefontaine


    GalwayGuy2 wrote: »
    Tbh, I think it's more a need for intimacy than orgasm. That could be one explanation for why so many men who identify as straight sleep with other men in prison. I guess sex is one way to show intimacy.



    I couldn't disagree with that more. If a man is not having sex, or experiencing any kind of intimacy, then he is not going to attack a child. Its quite plain and simply not going to happen, unless something else has happened that has turned him into a pedophile.

    And homosexuality is part of the perfectly healthy sphere of sexuality, pedophilia is part of the spectrum of sexuality that is an abomination. You honestly cannot compare them.

    I think you misunderstand me. I'm not comparing the two, and in fairness I did not introduce those labels here.

    First of all not all sex offenders are pedophiles. If you look at the church scandals for example, is it not possible all the prohibition around sexuality for them, whether they were gay or straight, perhaps led them to availing of what was there, namely kids? Maybe some were pedophiles, maybe others were desperate opportunists?

    Secondly, not all people who have had same sex experiences are homosexuals. Take for example, same sex boarding schools where contact with the opposite sex was prohibitive. Such conditions led some students to each other for the time they were in boarding schools.

    My point is that sex is a need. And people will do what they need to do to have those needs met.

    Again, I did not introduce those labels into this discussion. I was careful about describing a deed, and not a classified sex preference or disorder.


  • #166
    Emme
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,051 ✭✭✭Emme


    fockewulf wrote: »
    Take a mistress? How quaint.

    Why is it quaint? It's common practice on the continent and in some cases the wife accepts it as long as the husband stays in the marriage and the relationship with the mistress is discreet. Sometimes the mistress doesn't just provide sex, she provides conversation and intellectual stimulation.
    fockewulf wrote: »
    I don't need a relationship - I need sex occasionally with a mature willing participant who is fluent in the English language. If it so happens to be a business transaction where one party provides the service and the other pays (handsomely) for it - I don't see the issue.

    You can meet "mature willing participants" on specialist websites without having to resort to prostitution. They are easy to find and any reasonable man should have no problem finding a sexual partner there. You may have to pay a fee to join the website but that wouldn't cost as much as paying prostitutes handsomely on a regular basis.

    Sometimes I wonder if men who use prostitutes don't realise that women have needs too and that there are many women out there whose needs aren't being met. Surely the most logical solution is for to find a way for those men and women to meet.

    Someone said that the cost of sleeping with a prostitute has come down dramatically in the last hundred years due to more women being available for consensual sex. This begs the question - are most men who use prostitutes too lazy to interact with women as human beings? Human beings who may consent to sex under the right circumstances.

    My main concern about prostitution is that no matter how willing the participant appears to be, there is always a risk of her doing it against her will.
    Czarcasm wrote: »
    Sex work is an industry borne out of convenience. Some men and women can't be arsed to make the effort to find a willing sexual partner so they skip what they see as an inconvenience and pay for a fantasy instead.

    I agree. Case in point - see above.


  • #167
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    MaxWig wrote: »
    I disagree with you.

    Sex is most certainly a need. I'm not sure how you define 'need', but I fail to recognize any definition that would not contain sexual desire.


    I would define a need as something you actually need to sustain your life, such as air, food, water. You're not going to die if sex is in short supply.

    As to whether or not it is an entitlement, well that's just part of the semantics and language of feminism, of which I am an advocate.
    Saying a man is not entitled to sex is, on the one hand, stating the obvious.
    But nor is he entitled to respect, a job, happiness, security etc etc.


    I have no time for feminist ideology tbh, it's just not my bag, hence why I don't post in here too often in a forum based specifically on the female oriented perspective. I'm having to adjust my way of thinking on the fly to accomodate the specifics of this issue purely from a female perspective. It's honestly not as black and white as is being made out here. Hell, most people missed the more pertinent point of the OP which was about men cheating on their partners, not just men cheating on their partners with sex workers.

    Yet here we are. In a female perspective oriented forum, we're arguing men's entitlement to visit sex workers is more important than men cheating on their partners, and not out of necessity, but out of the fact that this is the "done thing" on a golf weekend away. It's really not. Some men can't keep their club in the golf bag, but not all of them.

    I absolutely think every man, and every woman are entitled to sex, in the sense that suggesting that someone should live their life without experiencing it is a weird kind of cruelty in my opinion.


    But nobody is entitled to anything, there are certain rights bestowed on people by virtue of their birth circumstances, but nowhere in any Human Rights charter, does it say people are entitled or have a right to sex. Some people in some countries don't even have a right to HAVE sex, and that would make a more pertinent issue that as you say is a weird kind of cruelty.

    I love sex, I think everybody should have more sex, it's fantastic. I just don't think anyone ever needs it and will quite easily survive without it (Not happy not getting sex? Like I said, my heart bleeds, you have it so bad, DO something about it then, but a short term solution is only a stop-gap, we call any monetized solution with short term gains a scam, and advise people to think long term if they want stability, so why not about sex, seeing as it's only a business transaction for some?), and certainly nobody should ever have to pay for it.

    There are seven billion people in the world, and the internet, and you're honestly making excuses for people who say they cannot have sex. They're clearly not looking very hard, or more likely they just can't be arsed because it's not convenient enough for them.


  • #168
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    Emme wrote: »

    You can meet "mature willing participants" on specialist websites without having to resort to prostitution. They are easy to find and any reasonable man should have no problem finding a sexual partner there. You may have to pay a fee to join the website but that wouldn't cost as much as paying prostitutes handsomely on a regular basis.

    Sometimes I wonder if men who use prostitutes don't realise that women have needs too and that there are many women out there whose needs aren't being met. Surely the most logical solution is for to find a way for those men and women to meet.

    Someone said that the cost of sleeping with a prostitute has come down dramatically in the last hundred years due to more women being available for consensual sex. This begs the question - are most men who use prostitutes too lazy to interact with women as human beings? Human beings who may consent to sex under the right circumstances.

    My main concern about prostitution is that no matter how willing the participant appears to be, there is always a risk of her doing it against her will.

    Why is it 'resorting' to prostitution?
    Reasonable men, with a few quid is it?
    What about broke sh*theads? Are they allowed resort to prostitutes?

    I guess it would make sense to you then.

    I honestly think you are fundamentally confused/misinformed/ignorant regarding the dynamics of sexuality in these instances, and perhaps regarding people's opinions of relationships.

    There is an old joke that says 'You don't pay the prostitute to have sex with you, you pay them to f*** off afterwards'.

    Now, as coarse as that is, it pretty much sums it up.


  • #169
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    MaxWig wrote: »
    Why is it 'resorting' to prostitution?
    Reasonable men, with a few quid is it?
    What about broke sh*theads? Are they allowed resort to prostitutes?


    If they're broke, they're not going to have the means to visit sex workers, not even so much as a €10 hand job, so what becomes their primary need then? Sex, or money to pay to get sex. No sex worker I've ever known has offered their services for free. They'll go low, Ryanair low, but free? Not in this lifetime. I've never heard of a sex worker being rewarded for their services to humanity either, but I'm always open to the possibility.

    I honestly think you are fundamentally confused/misinformed/ignorant regarding the dynamics of sexuality in these instances, and perhaps regarding people's opinions of relationships.

    Is there a mirror nearby that you could read the above statement back to yourself, because the joke below would indicate the very same thing about your opinion from my perspective. That's not to say I'm right, you're wrong, as clearly there's not a one size fits all circumstances argument can be made when it comes to people, relationships and sexuality.

    There is an old joke that says 'You don't pay the prostitute to have sex with you, you pay them to f*** off afterwards'.

    Now, as coarse as that is, it pretty much sums it up.


    It's a joke, it's not actually meant to be taken seriously.


  • #170
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    I would define a need as something you actually need to sustain your life, such as air, food, water. You're not going to die if sex is in short supply.





    I have no time for feminist ideology tbh, it's just not my bag, hence why I don't post in here too often in a forum based specifically on the female oriented perspective. I'm having to adjust my way of thinking on the fly to accomodate the specifics of this issue purely from a female perspective. It's honestly not as black and white as is being made out here. Hell, most people missed the more pertinent point of the OP which was about men cheating on their partners, not just men cheating on their partners with sex workers.

    Yet here we are. In a female perspective oriented forum, we're arguing men's entitlement to visit sex workers is more important than men cheating on their partners, and not out of necessity, but out of the fact that this is the "done thing" on a golf weekend away. It's really not. Some men can't keep their club in the golf bag, but not all of them.





    But nobody is entitled to anything, there are certain rights bestowed on people by virtue of their birth circumstances, but nowhere in any Human Rights charter, does it say people are entitled or have a right to sex. Some people in some countries don't even have a right to HAVE sex, and that would make a more pertinent issue that as you say is a weird kind of cruelty.

    I love sex, I think everybody should have more sex, it's fantastic. I just don't think anyone ever needs it and will quite easily survive without it (Not happy not getting sex? Like I said, my heart bleeds, you have it so bad, DO something about it then, but a short term solution is only a stop-gap, we call any monetized solution with short term gains a scam, and advise people to think long term if they want stability, so why not about sex, seeing as it's only a business transaction for some?), and certainly nobody should ever have to pay for it.

    There are seven billion people in the world, and the internet, and you're honestly making excuses for people who say they cannot have sex. They're clearly not looking very hard, or more likely they just can't be arsed because it's not convenient enough for them.

    Again we end up talking about semantics.

    I'll rephrase gladly.

    Every man and woman are entitled to expect sex in their life.

    Better?

    No one should ever have to pay for it?

    I'm confused - you think no one is entitled to it, but neither should they have to pay for it?

    Are you advocating free sex for all. Or are you suggesting that people just get with the programme and get a girlfriend/wife/f***-buddy?

    Make more effort? That's your contribution to the debate on prostitution?

    If people made more effort to get laid, prostitution would cease to exist as an industry?

    :) "I like you. You're crazy but I like you"


  • #171
    Keith300
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 46 ✭Keith300


    Emme wrote: »
    Why is it quaint? It's common practice on the continent and in some cases the wife accepts it as long as the husband stays in the marriage and the relationship with the mistress is discreet. Sometimes the mistress doesn't just provide sex, she provides conversation and intellectual stimulation.



    You can meet "mature willing participants" on specialist websites without having to resort to prostitution. They are easy to find and any reasonable man should have no problem finding a sexual partner there. You may have to pay a fee to join the website but that wouldn't cost as much as paying prostitutes handsomely on a regular basis.

    Sometimes I wonder if men who use prostitutes don't realise that women have needs too and that there are many women out there whose needs aren't being met. Surely the most logical solution is for to find a way for those men and women to meet.

    Someone said that the cost of sleeping with a prostitute has come down dramatically in the last hundred years due to more women being available for consensual sex. This begs the question - are most men who use prostitutes too lazy to interact with women as human beings? Human beings who may consent to sex under the right circumstances.

    My main concern about prostitution is that no matter how willing the participant appears to be, there is always a risk of her doing it against her will.



    I agree. Case in point - see above.

    Many men are simply scared to approach a woman. That's why they use prostitutes IMO.


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  • #172
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    Keith300 wrote: »
    Many men are simply scared to approach a woman. That's why they use prostitutes IMO.

    Probably right.

    I would imagine there are as many reasons as their are clients


  • #173
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    MaxWig wrote: »
    Again we end up talking about semantics.

    I'll rephrase gladly.

    Every man and woman are entitled to expect sex in their life.

    Better?


    Better, absolutely. I'm expecting delivery of a ferrari any day now myself, I feel I'm entitled to it for... shít, I just am, ok? :D

    Or, y'know, reality might set in and I might say to myself well nobody is going to just give me a ferrari (I'm hot shít at what I do, but I'm not THAT good! :pac:), I have to work for it if I want it.

    No one should ever have to pay for it?

    I'm confused - you think no one is entitled to it, but neither should they have to pay for it?

    Are you advocating free sex for all. Or are you suggesting that people just get with the programme and get a girlfriend/wife/f***-buddy?


    It shouldn't be that confusing Max. Of course I'm advocating that there is free sex available for all. Sex itself isn't in short supply. It's everywhere. It's freely available, you just have to look for like minded people is all. You shouldn't have to pay for it, but choosing to pay someone who is willing to sleep with you is a convenience (I won't particularly muddy the waters by posing the question "And what if no sex worker wants to sleep with you either?". They too have that choice!).

    Make more effort? That's your contribution to the debate on prostitution?

    If people made more effort to get laid, prostitution would cease to exist as an industry?


    In a neat and tidy nutshell - yes. If people made more effort to get laid, sex work would indeed cease to exist as an industry, because the market will have caved in on itself - without people willing to pay for sex, the opportunities for sex workers become as redundant as say a bricklayer in the current economic environment. It's idealistic of course, but that's the theory anyway.

    That's by no means the extent of my contribution to the discussion of sex work, not here on boards at least. Google "sex work boards". The first link. Google "sex work exclusion". The first link.

    There's a couple more terms you could google that it's the first link for (can't think of them off the top of my head), but that was by no means an accident.

    Fill yer boots, as they say.

    :) "I like you. You're crazy but I like you"


    Well, that's just made MY day anyway! :D


  • #174
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    Czarcasm wrote: »

    It shouldn't be that confusing Max. Of course I'm advocating that there is free sex available for all. Sex itself isn't in short supply. It's everywhere. It's freely available, you just have to look for like minded people is all. You shouldn't have to pay for it, but choosing to pay someone who is willing to sleep with you is a convenience (I won't particularly muddy the waters by posing the question "And what if no sex worker wants to sleep with you either?". They too have that choice!).

    In a neat and tidy nutshell - yes. If people made more effort to get laid, sex work would indeed cease to exist as an industry, because the market will have caved in on itself - without people willing to pay for sex, the opportunities for sex workers become as redundant as say a bricklayer in the current economic environment. It's idealistic of course, but that's the theory anyway.

    That's by no means the extent of my contribution to the discussion of sex work, not here on boards at least. Google "sex work boards". The first link. Google "sex work exclusion". The first link.

    There's a couple more terms you could google that it's the first link for (can't think of them off the top of my head), but that was by no means an accident.

    Fill yer boots, as they say.

    Well, that's just made MY day anyway! :D

    I think perhaps people have a very simplistic view of what sex is.
    To say sex is not in short supply is meaningless. I think what you are saying is that there is flesh and genitalia, heads and bodies all over the place.
    That is true.

    Yet anxiety, depression and loneliness are practically endemic in modern society.

    People feel isolated from each other, from talking to one another, not to mention jumping into bed.
    People lock themselves in bedrooms and hide from the world because they 'don't know what to say' to people. People cut themselves, and starve themselves because they hate how they look and how they feel.

    Telling people to make more of an effort is akin to telling a depressive that they need to pull themselves together. This of course is not the only reason people use the services of prostitutes, but if someone can derive comfort of any kind from such services, well, bully for them.

    I just don't get your line of reasoning.

    I think you're suggesting that clients are like a big lonely hearts club, who just haven't been able to 'meet the right person'.

    Way off imo.

    Your opinion from what I can gather is that there is a 'right' way to live. Make some effort, look around, smell the opportunity in the air, see the people who want to meet you etc..

    I'm sorry but many people inhabit different worlds than you do.

    You may disagree with their motives, and how they act upon their desires - you may even disagree with their desires, but that's irrelevant.

    Fact of the matter is that just below the visible surface of society, people are getting all kinds of freaky. I'm certain that there are men who use the services of prostitutes because they are in relationships where blow-jobs are annual, and this and that are dirty, and its missionary or nothing, or sex is off the table, or they like to pretend to be manga characters when they fcuk, or whatever you're having yourself.

    I would imagine that the appeal of prostitutes is that you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not, even when you are pretending to be someone else, if that makes sense.


  • #175
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 12,694 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Czrcasm, your posts are brilliant.


  • #176
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Sinking to a new low....men are entitled to sex now?

    Nobody is entitled to sex.


  • #177
    Standman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Standman


    Czarcasm wrote: »
    My heart bleeds. Not getting at you claire but sex is not a "need", nor an entitlement, and before anyone jumps in with "people are biologically programmed to reproduce as the basis of evolution", reproduction is not the basis of sex work.

    Sex work is an industry borne out of convenience. Some men and women can't be arsed to make the effort to find a willing sexual partner so they skip what they see as an inconvenience and pay for a fantasy instead.

    Possibly for a lot of punters it is born out of convenience but I would imagine there are many other reasons people see prostitutes that don't include them simply being more convenient. I think that is an overly simplistic way to look at it.

    If people "can't be arsed to make the effort" to get sex without paying for it then more power to them, to each their own.


  • #178
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    jaffacakesyum wrote: »
    Sinking to a new low....men are entitled to sex now?

    Nobody is entitled to sex.

    Slightly melodramatic Jaffa.

    And it was suggested that 'everyone' is entitled to sex, not just men, downgraded to the suggestion that everyone is entitled to reasonable expectation of the sexual experience that we all find so enjoyable.

    I would gather that your focus on 'men' is indicative of a particular attitude towards male sexuality informed by feminist studies on aggressive male sexuality and objectification of women/male gaze etc. Fair enough.

    What I am speaking about is different.


  • #179
    MaxWig
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,025 ✭✭✭MaxWig


    This idea that people 'can't be arsed' finding sexual partners is odd.

    Look around. There are all sorts of people who do not do well in our society when it comes to meeting people, conversing, reaching out.

    They don't call it the age of anxiety for nothing.

    The desire for sex is a constant, even if compassion is on the wane


  • #180
    jaffacakesyum
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    MaxWig wrote: »
    Slightly melodramatic Jaffa.

    And it was suggested that 'everyone' is entitled to sex, not just men, downgraded to the suggestion that everyone is entitled to reasonable expectation of the sexual experience that we all find so enjoyable.

    I would gather that your focus on 'men' is indicative of a particular attitude towards male sexuality informed by feminist studies on aggressive male sexuality and objectification of women/male gaze etc. Fair enough.

    What I am speaking about is different.

    I'll repeat - Nobody is entitled to sex. Men or women.

    My first line questioning "Men are entitled to sex, really?" is because given we're on a discussion about prostitution, men are the main punters. And justifying the use of prostitutes (not that it requires justification) because men (or anybody) is entitled to sex is the "new low" I was talking about.

    But no, go ahead, I must be some nasty feminist (such a dirty word isn't it?). What particular attitude to male sexuality do I presumably have MaxWig? Go on I'm intrigued.


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  • #181
    fockewulf
    Closed Accounts Posts: 28 ✭fockewulf


    Emme wrote: »
    Why is it quaint? It's common practice on the continent and in some cases the wife accepts it as long as the husband stays in the marriage and the relationship with the mistress is discreet. Sometimes the mistress doesn't just provide sex, she provides conversation and intellectual stimulation.



    You can meet "mature willing participants" on specialist websites without having to resort to prostitution. They are easy to find and any reasonable man should have no problem finding a sexual partner there. You may have to pay a fee to join the website but that wouldn't cost as much as paying prostitutes handsomely on a regular basis.

    Sometimes I wonder if men who use prostitutes don't realise that women have needs too and that there are many women out there whose needs aren't being met. Surely the most logical solution is for to find a way for those men and women to meet.

    Someone said that the cost of sleeping with a prostitute has come down dramatically in the last hundred years due to more women being available for consensual sex. This begs the question - are most men who use prostitutes too lazy to interact with women as human beings? Human beings who may consent to sex under the right circumstances.

    My main concern about prostitution is that no matter how willing the participant appears to be, there is always a risk of her doing it against her will.



    I agree. Case in point - see above.

    I don't need conversation, just sex occasionally. If it was properly regulated then the "risk" of a woman having sex against her will would be practically non-existant. Believe me a woman in her 40s or 50s flying in from the UK for the weekend is very unlikely to be coerced, she is just in it for the money plain and simple.


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