Ladies your opinions on men using brothels and prostitutes

gcgirl · 07-08-2013 01:17PM

starling wrote: »

Eh sorry this might be a bit OT but every sexually active adult ie anyone who's not a virgin should be having regular sexual health checkups.

If your in a monogynous relationship you really don't need to

Crann na Beatha · 07-08-2013 02:29PM

This post has been deleted.

clairefontaine · 07-08-2013 10:26PM

MagicMarker wrote: »

Indeed. And I'm sure you'd be absolutely delighted if your long term other half turned around to you one day to say "hey baby, I know, why don't we get ourselves tested for STDs, you know, in case you've cheated on me?"..... Yep, I'm sure you'd be completely rational in that situation.

A relationship in which one needs to get regularly checked for STDs because they're afraid their partner could be cheating is not a relationship worth having. I feel sorry for anyone who has such extensive issues with trust.

Doctors would disagree with you.

So would the statistics on infidelity.

clairefontaine · 07-08-2013 10:39PM

I know this answer is irrational, but it is my gut response.

An Irish lecturer told me he went to a whorehouse in Mexico. My reaction was an ewew yuck kind reaction, not because he had sex with a whore, but because the whore had sex with him. He Wa so icky, I felt bad for her. I said to him "I hoped you tipped well."

Whereas I think my bias is this. If Don Draper (uh I just noticed the raper part of his name as I typed...hmnnnn) told me that, I think I'd have a oh for christs sake kind of reaction and brush it off. If a disabled man told me that, I might feel pity. If an 18 year old geek with tons of zits told me that, I think I'd feel ah sure you don't kow any better, the peer pressure is intense, yadda yadda... So my reaction is not at all uniform. It discriminates.

Pug160 · 07-08-2013 10:49PM

clairefontaine wrote: »

I know this answer is irrational, but it is my gut response.

An Irish lecturer told me he went to a whorehouse in Mexico. My reaction was an ewew yuck kind reaction, not because he had sex with a whore, but because the whore had sex with him. He Wa so icky, I felt bad for her. I said to him "I hoped you tipped well."

Whereas I think my bias is this. If Don Draper (uh I just noticed the raper part of his name as I typed...hmnnnn) told me that, I think I'd have a oh for christs sake kind of reaction and brush it off. If a disabled man told me that, I might feel pity. If an 18 year old geek with tons of zits told me that, I think I'd feel ah sure you don't kow any better, the peer pressure is intense, yadda yadda... So my reaction is not at all uniform. It discriminates.

Can you clarify what you mean by this? I don't know who that is and what you mean by your response to it. Are you saying you think it's not as bad if the man is handsome? Forgive me for guessing but I'm not quite sure what you mean.

clairefontaine · 07-08-2013 10:54PM

Pug160 wrote: »

Can you clarify what you mean by this? I don't know who that is and what you mean by your response to it. Are you saying you think it's not as bad if the man is handsome? Forgive me for guessing but I'm not quite sure what you mean.

Sorry, it's a character from a tv show. I should elaborate or make up my own example. Don Draper is such a womaniser to begin with, and yes a handsome one too, that my response would be contextualised by hat.

My reactions really aren't on a scale of bad, but on a scale of different. So I suppose my response really depends on whose telling me.

Geomy · 07-08-2013 11:01PM

Pug160 wrote: »

Can you clarify what you mean by this? I don't know who that is and what you mean by your response to it. Are you saying you think it's not as bad if the man is handsome? Forgive me for guessing but I'm not quite sure what you mean.

I think what they meant is, no matter what kinda guy, rich, married, handsome, poor, not attractive. ... went off with a brasser.
They will come up with a personal discriminatory reaction or opinion about the act of a range of different men from different backgrounds being with a brasser in the first place.

MagicMarker · 08-08-2013 07:53AM

clairefontaine wrote: »

Doctors would disagree with you.

So would the statistics on infidelity.

Doctors are experts on relationships now? What do I care what a doctor thinks about my views on committed relationships and trust?

BelleFemme · 08-08-2013 01:14PM

I'm going to put the "cat amongst the pigeons" so to speak here; I feel as if I have to reply to this thread as I am truly shocked at some of the opinions and views people have of those of us working in the sex industry. Hopefully I will be able to somewhat change these views and opinions.

Firstly, I am an escort. I am not a street prostitute. I am young, Irish, and I come from what I consider to be a good family background. I chose to become an escort, I am independent and work for myself; therefore I do not need to do anything I do not wish to do, and I can stop working at any time I feel the need to. I chose to become an escort as I am actually a student, and it allowed me to pay for my tuition fees and all the associated costs with college. I would not be able to pay for this with a part-time job, nor would I have the same flexibility that being an escort offers me. I choose what hours I want to work, I vet clients and choose who I want to see, and ultimately my studies and results in college do not suffer as I choose when I want to work.

I consider myself to be educated and intelligent, and I do not have a drug or drink habit to fund. I actually just drink socially and have never touched any drugs in my life. I enjoy working as an escort, as I meet so many wonderful, interesting people from all walks of life. You should not be concerned about your partner seeing an escort either; there is no emotional attachment, and unlike an affair for example, we have no intention of pulling your partner away from you and your children. It is our job to offer a service, and can be seen merely as a business transaction at the end of the day.

I would also like to add that as escorts, we are extremely careful when it comes to our sexual health, which is a stark contrast to so many who don't work in the industry from what I have seen from friends who are having one night stands and are generally careless about protection and who they sleep with. I have regular testing for STI's, as do all escorts; our health is the most important thing for us.

I hope I have cleared up some common myths and misconceptions in relation to escorts, it really frustrates me when people jump to the wrong conclusions about us

Fukuyama · 08-08-2013 01:23PM

BelleFemme wrote: »

I'm going to put the "cat amongst the pigeons" so to speak here; I feel as if I have to reply to this thread as I am truly shocked at some of the opinions and views people have of those of us working in the sex industry. Hopefully I will be able to somewhat change these views and opinions.

Firstly, I am an escort. I am not a street prostitute. I am young, Irish, and I come from what I consider to be a good family background. I chose to become an escort, I am independent and work for myself; therefore I do not need to do anything I do not wish to do, and I can stop working at any time I feel the need to. I chose to become an escort as I am actually a student, and it allowed me to pay for my tuition fees and all the associated costs with college. I would not be able to pay for this with a part-time job, nor would I have the same flexibility that being an escort offers me. I choose what hours I want to work, I vet clients and choose who I want to see, and ultimately my studies and results in college do not suffer as I choose when I want to work.

I consider myself to be educated and intelligent, and I do not have a drug or drink habit to fund. I actually just drink socially and have never touched any drugs in my life. I enjoy working as an escort, as I meet so many wonderful, interesting people from all walks of life. You should not be concerned about your partner seeing an escort either; there is no emotional attachment, and unlike an affair for example, we have no intention of pulling your partner away from you and your children. It is our job to offer a service, and can be seen merely as a business transaction at the end of the day.

I would also like to add that as escorts, we are extremely careful when it comes to our sexual health, which is a stark contrast to so many who don't work in the industry from what I have seen from friends who are having one night stands and are generally careless about protection and who they sleep with. I have regular testing for STI's, as do all escorts; our health is the most important thing for us.

I hope I have cleared up some common myths and misconceptions in relation to escorts, it really frustrates me when people jump to the wrong conclusions about us

I've never used an escort and don't have any plans to, but I'm interested in why you chose to become one. I'm not of the opinion that there's anything wrong with it by the way - it just perplexes me.

I know a lot of foreign nationals get into it and it's mostly down to needing money.

I hear a lot about female students become escorts and say it's to fund tuition? If you're Irish then you can get a grant. If it's to the point where you are being an escort then I'm sure you'll fall into the bracket of at the very least getting your fees paid.

Male students don't seem to have this problem

Also, isn't it dangerous as fcuk? I mean, you can 'vet' all you want but ...

A friend of mine who now lives in London told me about one of her colleagues working as an escort on top of her normal office job. People in the office somehow found her on an escort site and it's getting around. She doesn't know half the office knows she's an escort but eventually it's going to come back and haunt her. Does this not worry you? Ireland is a small country. Even in Dublin most people actually know each other as a friend of a friend. When you get your degree whose to say you won't get a job alongside the friend of an ex-punter. You add your new colleague on Facebook and the ex-punter sees it on his friends profile. Tells your colleague you were/are an escort and there goes your professional career. A management position would be untenable after a revelation like that and you'd likely be asked to resign.

While I have no moral highhorse opinions on escorts, I'd likely look at a friend differently if I found out he/she was an escort.

Like I said I've nothing against escorts or the sex industry... it just perplexes me why someone sees it as a better option than working in a job like SPAR or Tesco like most students, myself included btw.

meeeeh · 08-08-2013 01:32PM

I think there is serious lack of perspective in debate about prostitution from people who actually work as prostitutes, escorts or whoever. It is good to get some input about it. But it is not a safe industry simply because it is not regulated. Even legitimate businesses sometimes cut corners so it is unrealistic to expect that everybody participating in partly illegal activity will stick to some unwritten code of practice.

08-08-2013 01:33PM

BelleFemme wrote: »

I'm going to put the "cat amongst the pigeons" so to speak here; I feel as if I have to reply to this thread as I am truly shocked at some of the opinions and views people have of those of us working in the sex industry. Hopefully I will be able to somewhat change these views and opinions.

Firstly, I am an escort. I am not a street prostitute. I am young, Irish, and I come from what I consider to be a good family background. I chose to become an escort, I am independent and work for myself; therefore I do not need to do anything I do not wish to do, and I can stop working at any time I feel the need to. I chose to become an escort as I am actually a student, and it allowed me to pay for my tuition fees and all the associated costs with college. I would not be able to pay for this with a part-time job, nor would I have the same flexibility that being an escort offers me. I choose what hours I want to work, I vet clients and choose who I want to see, and ultimately my studies and results in college do not suffer as I choose when I want to work.

I consider myself to be educated and intelligent, and I do not have a drug or drink habit to fund. I actually just drink socially and have never touched any drugs in my life. I enjoy working as an escort, as I meet so many wonderful, interesting people from all walks of life. You should not be concerned about your partner seeing an escort either; there is no emotional attachment, and unlike an affair for example, we have no intention of pulling your partner away from you and your children. It is our job to offer a service, and can be seen merely as a business transaction at the end of the day.

I would also like to add that as escorts, we are extremely careful when it comes to our sexual health, which is a stark contrast to so many who don't work in the industry from what I have seen from friends who are having one night stands and are generally careless about protection and who they sleep with. I have regular testing for STI's, as do all escorts; our health is the most important thing for us.

I hope I have cleared up some common myths and misconceptions in relation to escorts, it really frustrates me when people jump to the wrong conclusions about us

I am not judging you, however I have some questions for you.

Why do you call what you do sex work and not prostitution? do you need to distance yourself form what you do.

How come lots of students take jobs that are hard dirty poorly paid end up having to can make 5 euro last a week in order to go to college instead of becoming prostitutes if it so safe easy and full of lovely men, just wondering like?

What do your family think especially your parents think? and if you haven't told them why not?.

Just to nail another myth men who go to prostitutes are not being lured away by prostitutes they are making a choice to do it.

Fukuyama · 08-08-2013 01:36PM

mariaalice wrote: »

Just to nail another myth men who go to prostitutes are not being lured away by prostitutes they are making a choice to do it.

Was that ever even a myth?

starling · 08-08-2013 11:51PM

Dean0088 wrote: »

I hear a lot about female students become escorts and say it's to fund tuition? If you're Irish then you can get a grant. If it's to the point where you are being an escort then I'm sure you'll fall into the bracket of at the very least getting your fees paid.

it's very difficult to live on student grants. Assuming you meet the requirements to qualify.

Dean0088 wrote: »

Also, isn't it dangerous as fcuk?

Unlike working in a nightclub full of drunken fûcks? Or a factory with a fairly loose interpretation of health & safety regulations?

Dean0088 wrote: »

A friend of mine who now lives in London told me about one of her colleagues working as an escort on top of her normal office job. People in the office somehow found her on an escort site and it's getting around. She doesn't know half the office knows she's an escort but eventually it's going to come back and haunt her. Does this not worry you? Ireland is a small country. Even in Dublin most people actually know each other as a friend of a friend. When you get your degree whose to say you won't get a job alongside the friend of an ex-punter. You add your new colleague on Facebook and the ex-punter sees it on his friends profile. Tells your colleague you were/are an escort and there goes your professional career. A management position would be untenable after a revelation like that and you'd likely be asked to resign.

That would be illegal.

Dean0088 wrote: »

While I have no moral highhorse opinions on escorts, I'd likely look at a friend differently if I found out he/she was an escort.

That's pretty judgemental.

Dean0088 wrote: »

Like I said I've nothing against escorts or the sex industry... it just perplexes me why someone sees it as a better option than working in a job like SPAR or Tesco like most students, myself included btw.

Because the money is so much better? Because she gets to choose her own hours as opposed to having to make Tesco happy? Better pay means you have to work fewer hours and therefore have more time to study.

fockewulf · 09-08-2013 12:42AM

Can't believe this is my first post but here goes.

UK mature prostitutes visiting Galway have definitely saved my marriage (definitely not pimped or traffiked). I don't visit anyone else.

Wife won't have sex. I have kids. I can't afford to leave.

Background - We both have good jobs - detached house in Salthill.

Wife said, get it elsewhere as long as she doesn't know about it.

So, am I a bad person to want sex with a woman when my wife is so cold?

augusta24 · 09-08-2013 08:08AM

fockewulf wrote: »

Wife won't have sex. I have kids.

So, am I a bad person to want sex with a woman when my wife is so cold?

Yes. Do you think your kids would be happy/proud of you? Not having enough money is just an excuse. The only thing you should be doing is separating from your wife.

Joe10000 · 09-08-2013 08:35AM

fockewulf wrote: »

Can't believe this is my first post but here goes.

UK mature prostitutes visiting Galway have definitely saved my marriage (definitely not pimped or traffiked). I don't visit anyone else.

Wife won't have sex. I have kids. I can't afford to leave.

Background - We both have good jobs - detached house in Salthill.

Wife said, get it elsewhere as long as she doesn't know about it.

So, am I a bad person to want sex with a woman when my wife is so cold?

I see no problem with what you're doing.

tigger123 · 09-08-2013 10:15AM

Dean0088 wrote: »

I've never used an escort and don't have any plans to, but I'm interested in why you chose to become one. I'm not of the opinion that there's anything wrong with it by the way - it just perplexes me.

I know a lot of foreign nationals get into it and it's mostly down to needing money.

I hear a lot about female students become escorts and say it's to fund tuition? If you're Irish then you can get a grant. If it's to the point where you are being an escort then I'm sure you'll fall into the bracket of at the very least getting your fees paid.

Male students don't seem to have this problem

Also, isn't it dangerous as fcuk? I mean, you can 'vet' all you want but ...

A friend of mine who now lives in London told me about one of her colleagues working as an escort on top of her normal office job. People in the office somehow found her on an escort site and it's getting around. She doesn't know half the office knows she's an escort but eventually it's going to come back and haunt her. Does this not worry you? Ireland is a small country. Even in Dublin most people actually know each other as a friend of a friend. When you get your degree whose to say you won't get a job alongside the friend of an ex-punter. You add your new colleague on Facebook and the ex-punter sees it on his friends profile. Tells your colleague you were/are an escort and there goes your professional career. A management position would be untenable after a revelation like that and you'd likely be asked to resign.

While I have no moral highhorse opinions on escorts, I'd likely look at a friend differently if I found out he/she was an escort.

Like I said I've nothing against escorts or the sex industry... it just perplexes me why someone sees it as a better option than working in a job like SPAR or Tesco like most students, myself included btw.

You don't sound like much of a friend tbh.

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 10:54AM

tigger123 wrote: »

You don't sound like much of a friend tbh.

So if a friend of yours dropped a " oh by the way I'm an escort now" you wouldn't bat en eyelid?

Come off it.

It's nothing like saying "oh I got a job in SPAR"...

I might not be "much of a friend" because of it but I'd more than likely offer to help them out financially as best I could than saying "Ohhh! Good for you!"

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 11:01AM

starling wrote: »

it's very difficult to live on student grants. Assuming you meet the requirements to qualify.

Unlike working in a nightclub full of drunken fûcks? Or a factory with a fairly loose interpretation of health & safety regulations?

That would be illegal.

That's pretty judgemental.

Because the money is so much better? Because she gets to choose her own hours as opposed to having to make Tesco happy? Better pay means you have to work fewer hours and therefore have more time to study.

Fair enough.

But you seem to have an attitude that escorting is like this epic job with no downsides.

Fact is that it can come back to haunt you YEARS down the line. If an escort has kids do you think they'll enjoy people knowing what her old job was?

Ireland is a small place and I'd be surprised if anyone can keep that a secret for long.

And it's way more dangerous than working in a nightclub. Nightclubs are not dangerous. The chances of a member of staff getting raped or assaulted working in a nightclub are zilch.

And yes I may be judgmental but that's life. I have no moral high horse here and I think the sex industry should be legalised for the safety of both escorts and customers. But at the end of the day I simply cant respect the profession like a would a profession that actually involves study, work, thinking etc...

Anyone saying they wouldn't bat an eyelid at a friend becoming an escort should ask themselves 'what if it was my sister?'.

One last thing about student grants - if you're to the point of escorting then you'll be entitled to the full grant. College paid for and a hefty maintainence check every month. The balance would be more than made up for with a ten hour a week job in a newsagents or pub. It may well be hard to live as a student but thousands do it every year.

I just cant fathom how someone would think having sex with any middle-aged fat bloke (I seriously doubt punters are the best looking specimens and are likely on the wrong side of 40) beats a four hour shift in a shop.

panda100 · 09-08-2013 11:37AM

mariaalice wrote: »

I am not judging you, however I have some questions for you.

Why do you call what you do sex work and not prostitution? do you need to distance yourself form what you do.

I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for a response from 'belle Femme', I highly doubt he/she is really a working prostitute. These one off posts come up every now and again to try and make prostitution sound more desirable to women. One check on the Escort Ireland website, and there's a teeny tiny number of Irish nationals, under 50, working in this trade. The vast majority are from impoverished nations, as you have to be pretty desperate for money to work as a sex worker in Ireland.

Back on topic, my opinion on men who use prostitutes is very low. You have to have a pretty poor attitude towards women to use one

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 01:36PM

panda100 wrote: »

I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for a response from 'belle Femme', I highly doubt he/she is really a working prostitute. These one off posts come up every now and again to try and make prostitution sound more desirable to women. One check on the Escort Ireland website, and there's a teeny tiny number of Irish nationals, under 50, working in this trade. The vast majority are from impoverished nations, as you have to be pretty desperate for money to work as a sex worker in Ireland.

Back on topic, my opinion on men who use prostitutes is very low. You have to have a pretty poor attitude towards women to use one

I really don't think most prostitute use is down to a low opinion of women.

There's a lot of people in relationships with low opinions of women. From whats been said in this thread it's down to sexless marriages, zero confidence or disabilities.

I think if you're away on holiday with a "lets fcuk a prossy" attitude then yeah, you likely have a poor attitudes towards women.

But 'using' them regularly seems to be a case of netiher party feeling 'used'.

gcgirl · 09-08-2013 02:31PM

The stench of double standards here! The typical Irish male having a problem with a woman's sex life? Irish think of sex as a dirty thing as something that should be dine with the lights off some Irish women have problems with sex hence why their husband's/partners go off for some extra curricular sruff, people provide a service just like a plumber/electrician provides a service, why snigger at a persons profession, personally I'd prefer a regulated system where a person can be taxed, let them work in a safe place and have regular std check ups, no matter what way you look people like sex well those of us that's mind has not been tarnished and brainwashed by a certain church in which some studies run by these christian are really a load of fanny floss .

gcgirl · 09-08-2013 02:34PM

Dean0088 wrote: »

So if a friend of yours dropped a " oh by the way I'm an escort now" you wouldn't bat en eyelid?

Come off it.

It's nothing like saying "oh I got a job in SPAR"...

I might not be "much of a friend" because of it but I'd more than likely offer to help them out financially as best I could than saying "Ohhh! Good for you!"

Its a job or do you see sex as something dirty ?

wolfpawnat · 09-08-2013 02:42PM

If a single gut goes and pays a girl for sex (and she is doing it of her own free will of course) then off with them.

If he is cheating I would say the same as I would about any cheater male or female, sleezeball! And obviously if she is trafficked and/or forced, well then he's as good as a rapist in my eyes, since she's not consenting.

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 03:02PM

gcgirl wrote: »

Its a job or do you see sex as something dirty ?

I don't see sex as something dirty. I'm not religious in the slightest.

I don't see escorting as a job in the normal sense either. It's something most escorts would hide and in its present state they don't pay tax. But like I said I think it should be legalised.

I think people should be free to do whatever they want as a career and if an escort is that then fine. I respect them as a person but certainly not as a 'professional'. It's sex. Anyone could do it. We can window dress it under any name such as 'escort' or 'sex worker', but at the end of the day they're servicing some aul lad who's long past his expiry date. How anyone can look forward to a day of doing that is beyond me.

And for those doing it of their own free will (which I suspect is the majority in Ireland - I'll not believe the studies done by religious organisations that say otherwise) I genuinely think they're doing it to take the easy way out and earn quick cash.

There really isn't much to respect about the choice of 'job'.

Again. I respect escorts as human being but it isn't a career or field that advances the individual or society.

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 03:09PM

gcgirl wrote: »

Its a job or do you see sex as something dirty ?

If you're best friend started escorting would you be thrilled for them?

Would you genuinely be happy that they'e advancing their 'career' in that respect?

gcgirl · 09-08-2013 03:12PM

Dean0088 wrote: »

If you're best friend started escorting would you be thrilled for them?

Would you genuinely be happy that they'e advancing their 'career' in that respect?

Its money at the end of the day

Personally if a has to choose between being a call girl and being a pest controller I'd pick the call girl position

Its a person providing a service

gcgirl · 09-08-2013 03:14PM

Dean0088 wrote: »

I don't see sex as something dirty. I'm not religious in the slightest.

I don't see escorting as a job in the normal sense either. It's something most escorts would hide and in its present state they don't pay tax. But like I said I think it should be legalised.

I think people should be free to do whatever they want as a career and if an escort is that then fine. I respect them as a person but certainly not as a 'professional'. It's sex. Anyone could do it. We can window dress it under any name such as 'escort' or 'sex worker', but at the end of the day they're servicing some aul lad who's long past his expiry date. How anyone can look forward to a day of doing that is beyond me.

And for those doing it of their own free will (which I suspect is the majority in Ireland - I'll not believe the studies done by religious organisations that say otherwise) I genuinely think they're doing it to take the easy way out and earn quick cash.

There really isn't much to respect about the choice of 'job'.

Again. I respect escorts as human being but it isn't a career or field that advances the individual or society.

A day of sex ahead is really not as bad as it seems especially if your good at it

Fukuyama · 09-08-2013 03:30PM

gcgirl wrote: »

Its money at the end of the day

Personally if a has to choose between being a call girl and being a pest controller I'd pick the call girl position

Its a person providing a service

The kind of desparate search for cash you're alluding to by saying "it's money at the end of the day" is why women in places like Thailand and African cities literally spend 16 hours a day getting rodded for a tuppence. This is Ireland. There is nobody that close to desolation.

There is nothing admirable about straight up prostitution. Nothing about on any level evokes any worthiness in any sense. At least a pest controller is out working hard and providing a service that is actually needed by households and businesses.

The only form of escorting that I can respect is services for disabled people. At least they're making someone who otherwise would never experience sex happy.

gcgirl wrote: »

A day of sex ahead is really not as bad as it seems especially if your good at it

It's not sex though. I seriously doubt escorts derive any pleasure from it when their job is to ensure the client is pleasured in any way he/she wants. I imagine sex, two or three times a day, five days a week would get real old real fast. Particularly as Ireland isn't know for Channing Tatum lookalikes. :rolleyes:

Ladies your opinions on men using brothels and prostitutes

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