Important issues you have changed your mind on

hoodwinked · 07-08-2013 01:28PM

ash23 wrote: »

So for me, it was definitely a case of "walk a mile in my shoes" and my eyes weren't long being opened!

for me it wasn't a walk a mile in my shoes thing but an eye opener thing,

when i had my daughter my attitude to most things changed, i was never a single parent thankfully, but i do now feel different towards single mothers/fathers than i used to, i've developed a respect for them because god knows with two of us and one of her we still struggle at the best of times.

i guess the biggest change was it stopped being all about me and became all about her, and when an inlaw attacked her (not physically) and started damaging relationships she had with her grandparents i felt an anger i never had before.

things that seemed important before no longer mattered and i vowed to improve my life for her and do right by her by being an example to her. (yes i still fail massively at that sometimes but hey nobody's perfect) i am pro-life for myself but pro choice for everyone else, i believe others should be free to live their lives their way as long as it doesn't negatively impact on anyone else,

and i want my daughter to have free choices when she grows up, so i would be pro gay marriage/adoption should she decide to have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend,

so she's changed my views on important issues

Henlars67 · 07-08-2013 01:31PM

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Plenty of other threads for ye to demonise the evils of the public service

I don't and wouldn't demonise the public service, just the incompetent ones at the higher end of the pay scale, the likes of certain county managers who've led their county councils into millions and millions of debt

FreshKnickers · 07-08-2013 01:33PM

Used to be mad for a bit of EastEnders but nowadays it's Corrie or nothing!

#TeamSoapOperas

(Did I do that right?)

sugar_fiend · 07-08-2013 01:38PM

I used to think guys who paid for sex were slime

now ive come to realise that ugly guys had celibacy thrust upon them where as any woman can get laid whenever she chooses , hence why their are about a hundred time more female prostitutes than male ones

Lapin · 07-08-2013 01:38PM

I've changed my mind about Bongo Bongo land.

I used to think it was a harmless reference but now see it as a derogatory term.

Potatoeman · 07-08-2013 01:39PM

ash23 wrote: »

It's much easier for a man to duck out on his financial responsibilities though. He can move on, marry someone else and have more children and this will be taken into account when his maintenance is being assessed even though his new wifes income will not form part of the equation.
He has no obligation to take care of the child other than financial. He can feck off to Australia, claim he is not working and send a minimal amount for the child. And if he doesn't, there is no court who will be able to force him to pay if he is elsewhere.

So if all things were equal then I'd agree that it's a double standard. But all things are not equal. I've not seen my childs father since the day I told him I was pregnant. She is 10 now. So for eleven years I've been solely responsible for her because he moved away, didn't tell me where to and he changed his number. So no maintenance and no responsibility and when I was trying to find him, his privacy was protected by his old employers and the college etc. so I couldn't get a forwarding address.

Anyway, my point is that when a man wants out it's easier for him than a woman. It works the other way too obviously and I'm aware that fathers rights are abysmal.

But the responsibility will for the most part fall on the mother as well as the physical side of things. So yes, she has final say. Maybe it's not fair but there's no other solution for men other than to prevent pregnancy in the first place. That's just biology.
But on the flip side, if a woman chooses to have a child, the bulk of the responsibility for the child is on her so there's double standards aplenty.

Fleeing the country is not what I would call easy. Its a huge impact on his life because of your devision as was his to flee on yours.
Im not condoning what he did but did you consider his opinion?

paulbok · 07-08-2013 01:45PM

Frank Black wrote: »

Olives - used to think they were disgusting. Now I love them.

Me too. Haven't progressed to the black olives yet, but it's only a matter of time.

kylith · 07-08-2013 01:46PM

I used to be religious. I used to be anti-choice. I probably got more lefty in my views as I got older.

ash23 · 07-08-2013 02:16PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

Fleeing the country is not what I would call easy. Its a huge impact on his life because of your devision as was his to flee on yours.
Im not condoning what he did but did you consider his opinion?

He made his stance clear. He didn't want the baby and he wanted no part of it. So yes, I made the decision to keep the baby bearing in mind he would be of no support to me and I would be shouldering most of the burden.
However, I also had my own feelings to consider and I couldn't live with the guilt I would personally feel if I terminated the pregnancy. And considering the condom split and he didn't seem to think it important to tell me, then yes, I think he should have been responsible as he took my decision to get the MAP out of my hands. He didn't consider my opinion when he did that. So yes, I do think he should have borne some of the consequence, if only financially.

As for huge impact....I almost died, my body has never been the same, I had to adapt my career around suitable childcare. Every penny I make goes towards making my daughters life better. I've sat up all night with a sick child or worrying over bills. It's affected my relationships and my life in general. My life is no longer my own as every choice I make has to be centred around what is best for my child.

In comparison to a monthly cheque which is based on earnings, I hardly think the two things are in any way level.

kunst nugget · 07-08-2013 02:20PM

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Plenty of other threads for ye to demonise the evils of the public service

I didn't see him demonising the public sector there. He was merely pointing out one of the problems with the system which would be obvious to most people.

I Heart Internet · 07-08-2013 02:26PM

o1s1n wrote: »

I used to hate steak. Really hate it.

About 5 years ago my girlfriend cooked my a steak properly and I realized what I'd been missing all my life.

Bloody Irish mammy overcook everything syndrome :mad:

I remember ordering a steak sandwich in the UK in my early twenties. It came out (I thought) raw and bloody. I had to get the assuance of a buddy that "this was actually how steak is often served." Not dry and doubly well done like Mammy used to do them.

Czarcasm · 07-08-2013 02:28PM

sugar_fiend wrote: »

I used to think guys who paid for sex were slime

now ive come to realise that ugly guys had celibacy thrust upon them where as any woman can get laid whenever she chooses, hence why their are about a hundred time more female prostitutes than male ones

You may want to go away and think about that one a bit more, including your reasons why you think there are more female sex workers than male sex workers.

longshanks · 07-08-2013 02:28PM

It used to be Kylie. It's Danni now.

07-08-2013 02:30PM

I used to have a huge interest in English football, and next to no interest in the domestic game.

After attending a few League of Ireland matches (Belfield Bowl, if you're interested), I've swung almost completely in the opposite direction

Henlars67 · 07-08-2013 02:33PM

Deleted User wrote: »

I used to have a huge interest in English football, and next to no interest in the domestic game.

After attending a few League of Ireland matches (Belfield Bowl, if you're interested), I've swung almost completely in the opposite direction

Nothing beats live football, or live sport in general.

I feel sorry for people who think they're sports fans but only watch it on tv.

o1s1n · 07-08-2013 02:36PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I remember ordering a steak sandwich in the UK in my early twenties. It came out (I thought) raw and bloody. I had to get the assuance of a buddy that "this was actually how steak is often served." Not dry and doubly well done like Mammy used to do them.

It really is a food revelation isn't it?

Since then I've always had my steak rare. When I'm home visiting the folks and my mam's cooking steak I always have to watch her and tell her when it's done.

'It's done now, you can take it off the pan'

'No no, that's not cooked yet!'

'that's how it's meant to look!'

kunst nugget · 07-08-2013 02:36PM

Potatoeman wrote: »

Fleeing the country is not what I would call easy. Its a huge impact on his life because of your devision as was his to flee on yours.
Im not condoning what he did but did you consider his opinion?

Yes, I feel awful sorry for that chap. It can be proper awkward having to change your phone number because you don't want to face up to the responsibilities. Boo fúcking hoo.

jaffacakesyum · 07-08-2013 02:41PM

A lot of LGBT related things I've changed my mind on. Used to be internally homphobic in that I hated anything stereotypically gay, was very reserved about it all...now am comfortable in my sexuality and letting others express theirs. I've changed my mind on gay pride and have become a lot happier just relaxing and having a good time and not worrying about if somebody is stereotypically gay or not.

I've changed my mind on abortion in that I've become a LOT more pro-choice. I was always pro-choice but had my limits, now within reason (as in depending on term time) I think abortion should be available to all.

Also changed my mind on the Obama administration. Back in the first election campaign I thought here is a guy who will change America, get rid of the horrible governments of the past, but no. They're all the same.

ALiasEX · 07-08-2013 02:43PM

ash23 wrote: »

It's much easier for a man to duck out on his financial responsibilities though. He can move on, marry someone else and have more children and this will be taken into account when his maintenance is being assessed even though his new wifes income will not form part of the equation.
He has no obligation to take care of the child other than financial. He can feck off to Australia, claim he is not working and send a minimal amount for the child. And if he doesn't, there is no court who will be able to force him to pay if he is elsewhere.

So if all things were equal then I'd agree that it's a double standard. But all things are not equal. I've not seen my childs father since the day I told him I was pregnant. She is 10 now. So for eleven years I've been solely responsible for her because he moved away, didn't tell me where to and he changed his number. So no maintenance and no responsibility and when I was trying to find him, his privacy was protected by his old employers and the college etc. so I couldn't get a forwarding address.

Anyway, my point is that when a man wants out it's easier for him than a woman. It works the other way too obviously and I'm aware that fathers rights are abysmal.

But the responsibility will for the most part fall on the mother as well as the physical side of things. So yes, she has final say. Maybe it's not fair but there's no other solution for men other than to prevent pregnancy in the first place. That's just biology.
But on the flip side, if a woman chooses to have a child, the bulk of the responsibility for the child is on her so there's double standards aplenty.

For the woman, surely all they have to do is give it up for adoption?

I Heart Internet · 07-08-2013 02:47PM

jaffacakesyum wrote: »

I've changed my mind on abortion in that I've become a LOT more pro-choice. I was always pro-choice but had my limits, now within reason (as in depending on term time) I think abortion should be available to all.

So you'd now be comfortable allowing late term abortions - up to a week or two before birth?

KingOfFairview · 07-08-2013 02:47PM

Henlars67 wrote: »

I don't and wouldn't demonise the public service, just the incompetent ones at the higher end of the pay scale, the likes of certain county managers who've led their county councils into millions and millions of debt

On reflection I was a bit hasty. Apologies.

gcgirl · 07-08-2013 02:51PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

So you'd now be comfortable allowing late term abortions - up to a week or two before birth?

Trying to drag this thread down ?

kunst nugget · 07-08-2013 02:54PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

So you'd now be comfortable allowing late term abortions - up to a week or two before birth?

He didn't say that. Most people have their cut off points that they would be comfortable with - he never stated his. Personally mine would be until 24-25 weeks.

jaffacakesyum · 07-08-2013 02:56PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

So you'd now be comfortable allowing late term abortions - up to a week or two before birth?

Nope and I never said that

What I meant was that I don't think a woman has to be raped by her father to be afforded the luxury of rights to her own body. I don't think a woman has to be near her death bed to be afforded the rights to her own body. I think a woman should get that regardless of any extreme circumstances within reason (as stated in my OP) depending on what stage of pregnancy she is at and if the foetus is developed.

But go ahead try and start an argument here.

Ush1 · 07-08-2013 02:57PM

I used to think machines would take over the world now I'm not so sure.

gcgirl · 07-08-2013 02:59PM

ALiasEX wrote: »

For the woman, surely all they have to do is give it up for adoption?

Laugh out load ! Seriously in Ireland for most of the last 70 yrs women were locked away for most of their pregnancy so they adopted sometimes not voluntary there is the way women also treat other women there is a stigma about a woman giving up a child in this country there is far too much looking down on women look at women who have done so in the past and they have wiped it out of their lives

1ZRed · 07-08-2013 03:05PM

o1s1n wrote: »

I used to hate steak. Really hate it.

About 5 years ago my girlfriend cooked my a steak properly and I realized what I'd been missing all my life.

Bloody Irish mammy overcook everything syndrome :mad:

14th of March will have you seeing stars

kunst nugget · 07-08-2013 03:08PM

1ZRed wrote: »

14th of March will have you seeing stars

Getting a burnt steak and a blowjob off your ma could be quite traumatic…

Potatoeman · 07-08-2013 03:12PM

ash23 wrote: »

He made his stance clear. He didn't want the baby and he wanted no part of it. So yes, I made the decision to keep the baby bearing in mind he would be of no support to me and I would be shouldering most of the burden.
However, I also had my own feelings to consider and I couldn't live with the guilt I would personally feel if I terminated the pregnancy. And considering the condom split and he didn't seem to think it important to tell me, then yes, I think he should have been responsible as he took my decision to get the MAP out of my hands. He didn't consider my opinion when he did that. So yes, I do think he should have borne some of the consequence, if only financially.

As for huge impact....I almost died, my body has never been the same, I had to adapt my career around suitable childcare. Every penny I make goes towards making my daughters life better. I've sat up all night with a sick child or worrying over bills. It's affected my relationships and my life in general. My life is no longer my own as every choice I make has to be centred around what is best for my child.

In comparison to a monthly cheque which is based on earnings, I hardly think the two things are in any way level.

Contraception is the responsibility of both parties. You must have known after the act at least.
Your situation would always have a loser either him or you. You went with what you wanted to do and he took off. If he stayed he would be financially responsible for the child. He made it clear he did not want. There was never going to be a good outcome for both of you as you wanted different things.
I dont know if I could do what he done but I do understand it. The financial responsibility should not be made little of as it does gave an impact on his life.

IK09 · 07-08-2013 03:12PM

Celly Smunt wrote: »

I used to hate the new boards front page,but I've grown to accept it.

NEVER!!!!

Important issues you have changed your mind on

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