Life in the Corporate World

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 01-08-2013 11:06PM

Worked in a bank before, most of them were grand actually, but there were some eejits with their heads in the clouds.

GreenWolfe · 01-08-2013 11:15PM

ScumLord wrote: »

I'm just thinking of the older fellas I deal with in the construction/home improvement area that would avoid email given half the chance.

Going wildly off-topic here, but every time I see *************@eircom.net/hotmail.com/gmail.com/etc on the side of a van I (metaphorically) die a little inside.

Considering you can get a domain and email hosting for almost nothing there's no excuse for not having a proper email address anymore.

Czarcasm · 01-08-2013 11:22PM

EarthlyPangaea wrote: »

Going wildly off-topic here, but every time I see *************@eircom.net/hotmail.com/gmail.com/etc on the side of a van I (metaphorically) die a little inside.

Considering you can get a domain and email hosting for almost nothing there's no excuse for not having a proper email address anymore.

You're not alone there, drives me barmy too!

christ on a bike! · 01-08-2013 11:32PM

EarthlyPangaea wrote: »

Going wildly off-topic here, but every time I see *************@eircom.net/hotmail.com/gmail.com/etc on the side of a van I (metaphorically) die a little inside.

Considering you can get a domain and email hosting for almost nothing there's no excuse for not having a proper email address anymore.

Who cares?

Jimmy who is gonna move your furniture doesn't, neither do the people who email him

GreenWolfe · 01-08-2013 11:44PM

christ on a bike! wrote: »

Who cares?

Jimmy who is gonna move your furniture doesn't, neither do the people who email him

That's my point. If they're not going to put any effort into that, I immediately suspect that they're not going to put any effort into anything else they do.

Because more and more people are savvy with technology these days, I'd imagine the amount of people who view that as unprofessional will increase.

As before, a custom domain and email for a small business don't cost a lot.

MOC88 · 01-08-2013 11:45PM

Honey-ec wrote: »

Or my own personal favourite: "revert" instead of "reply".

Don't they know that that makes baby Jebus cry???

Synergy

NuckingFacker · 01-08-2013 11:58PM

I believe, in this thread, we have turned a corner.

josip · 02-08-2013 01:01AM

Win win everybody

keeponhurling · 02-08-2013 03:23AM

What do you do if the client says lets keep in touch and hands you a business card? Tell them we don't do business cards, too "W@anker-ish" for us?
I definitely think business cards are essential and a convenient way to pass contact details, and to remember names, companies etc. and who does what position.

What I hate is when they "promote" themselves to higher levels on the card.
i.e. a new graduate who is introduced as somebody's assistant, and their card says "Associate Senior Director of European Greater Regiod" or some cr@p like that when they are just a new graduate or intern.
Actually it's the same on linkedin, but that's another story!

Initials on somebody's suit does my head in though. I mean is there any other explanation apart from a high opinion of themselves? Are they afraid they'll lose their jacket, and from the initials it'll be returned to them?!

MadsL · 02-08-2013 04:55AM

Christ the Redeemer wrote: »

Initials on somebody's suit does my head in though. I mean is there any other explanation apart from a high opinion of themselves?

Good upselling on the part of the tailor?

endacl · 02-08-2013 05:01AM

MadsL wrote: »

Good upselling on the part of the tailor?

No. It's so the naughty boys won't steal their suits after their swimming lessons. It starts in primary school with labels in the underwear. It's a good habit for living. Those boys had responsible mammies!

brandon_flowers · 02-08-2013 07:36AM

Going forward...... **** OFF! We've been going backwards for years.

oldyouth · 02-08-2013 08:14AM

I got out from that corporate world (insurance) after 33 years. I have to say that the last 5yrs or so were the most miserable of my life.

As Taylor Swift would say, "we are never, ever, getting back together"

--Kaiser-- · 02-08-2013 09:41AM

Honey-ec wrote: »

Or my own personal favourite: "revert" instead of "reply".

Don't they know that that makes baby Jebus cry???

"Will you revert with feedback?"
Will I return to my original state? What, an embryo? A sperm? A glint in someone's eyes?

I've harangued enough people in my workplace that it doesn't happen any more thankfully

brandon_flowers · 02-08-2013 10:02AM

A lot of this corporate lingo is brought about by business schools, mainly an American thing but now you see it everywhere. Companies with 50 employees now have a CEO, COO, CFO, CTO. You would swear the Prime Minister was working in some of these places with the titles they give themselves.

And the worst of all is "Our people are our most valuable asset"

Like one Italian guy I work with said about a previous colleague who got fired "He comes in-a today as the-a Chief Engineer-a with his suit and his-a bull**** PhD and he talks like the King. Next week-a he will sell flowers at the restaurant"

Michael D Not Higgins · 02-08-2013 10:04AM

brandon_flowers wrote: »

A lot of this corporate lingo is brought about by business schools, mainly an American thing but now you see it everywhere. Companies with 50 employees now have a CEO, COO, CFO, CTO. You would swear the Prime Minister was working in some of these places with the titles they give themselves.

And the worst of all is "Our people are our most valuable asset"

Like one Italian guy I work with said about a previous colleague who got fired "He comes in-a today as the-a Chief Engineer-a with his suit and his-a bull**** PhD and he talks like the King. Next week-a he will sell flowers at the restaurant"

My boss has used a variant of this, namely "Our people are our only asset".

We're a consultancy so our only product is our manpower and experience.

tin79 · 02-08-2013 10:05AM

brandon_flowers wrote: »

A "He comes in-a today as the-a Chief Engineer-a with his suit and his-a bull**** PhD and he talks like the King. Next week-a he will sell flowers at the restaurant"

How much is he going to charge for you?

josip · 02-08-2013 10:57AM

Christ the Redeemer wrote: »

Initials on somebody's suit does my head in though. I mean is there any other explanation apart from a high opinion of themselves?

I'm open to correction on this, but I suspect that the initials are more for the tailor's benefit than the wearer's ego. Suits don't tend to come with unique serial numbers and are all different measurements so if a suit gets separated from its owners details in a reasonably long tailoring process it will be too time consuming to try to match it up with the original customer. Time and materials wasted. Discreetly stitched initials solves that problem.

Leftist · 02-08-2013 11:07AM

mirwillbeback wrote: »

So I was wondering if others on boards have the same experience as me. I work for a bank, one like all the others that is losing fortunes every month. Every day I feel my spirit is being chipped away, surrounded as I am by those who feel entitled to false respect, a good wage and are masters of the soundbite.

They all have quiff haircuts, tailored suits (some with initials embroidered), greet each other with " How ARE ya " and a gentle backslap.

For all their intellect and endless meetings, generally life is spent preparing power point slides, nodding enthusiastically to the most mundane suggestions and ensuring that nothing could ever be said that could be considered anyway controversial.

They use phrases like

" we are building the plane while we are flying "
" it's half time in our recovery, now it's time to put the rugby ball under our jerseys and push into the opposition half "
" we have an organic culture "

My boy was in Tallaght hospital last month, and to see the care and attention he received from people who earn a fraction of what most of my colleagues do makes me so angry. Their self importance is go high you wouldn't believe it. I am trying to get out to do something more worthwhile but they wouldn't let me leave on voluntary redundancy and I have to stay here to pay the bills for the moment.

Is it the same everywhere?

It's soul destroying.

A few years ago, my old employer was taking advantage of the recession (keeping the same profit levels, as was shared with the staff) and hanging redundancies over heads as a threat to work harder for your job.

They brought in this arsewipe who's job it was to motivate the staff on a few days seminar. I was expecting a team building exercise nonsense.

Nope. This guy proceeded to talk to us about the threat of staff members, the 'bad eggs' who spread subversive negativity among other staff members and are counter productive for not only the company, but for the general staff's wellbeing.

Every moron working there knew the company was behaving inappropriatly and hanging redundancies like an axe, but this flashly scumbag is there telling us not to dare be that 'bad egg'.

The management alone said the seminars were excellent afterwards. It was just far too transparent.

Grayson · 02-08-2013 11:29AM

ScumLord wrote: »

I'm still assuming your business card simply states "I'm Batman".

Or "I'm CEO BITCH!"

shane9689 · 02-08-2013 02:12PM

this post screams "peep show" haha

dd972 · 02-08-2013 02:49PM

I've worked in that sector OP, and come to the conclusion that there's different horses for different courses, there are people, let's call them, 'worko's' or 'office heads' who love being in these places, surrounded by strangers and all the attendant ebb and flow of office politics and BS that goes with it, these people's faces always fit, they've always got their best faces on, know who to suck up to and who to take the piss out of and generally speaking underneath their veneer's are quite nasty, calculating pieces of work.

I'd have more respect for someone who punched me or spat in my face than these types of snakes.

Only problem is if you're not a politicker or people player the types of jobs open to you that are not office or call centre based are in a minority, warehouses and factories have a similar vibe as well.

jimgoose · 02-08-2013 02:50PM

Bank top-brass these days are illiterate and innumerate braying asses, who in a sane and just jurisdiction would have the greatest difficulty getting a job power-hosing the floor in an Amsterdam ****-house.

Life in the Corporate World

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