Should Northern Ireland become an independent pariah state?

Sh1tbag OToole · 24-07-2013 08:21PM #1

To make our lives interesting.

Here's what I propose: NI gets a new dictator, no taller than 5' 5", a bit chubby and with a penchant for the finer things in life. All borders closed, capital moved inland on the advice of an astrologist and to avoid prying eyes.

Subversion against the regime will be harshly punished and there will be a government-sponsored cultural revolution aiming to banish all things not authentically Northern Irish. Ireland and the Youkay branded as violent oppressors.

There will be a drive for self-reliance coupled with limited trade with other pariah states such as Iran, North Korea. Every now and then Northern Ireland shall make idle threats against the republic and the Youkay, lest we fall asleep here and drown in our own recession-induced misery. Just to keep us on our toes really.

A Northern Irish language will also emerge, using traditional Norn Irish terms and de-Anglicising the rest. Every now and then videos will be 'leaked' of brutal punishment, starvation and government oppression. These will be mostly fakes though to keep the rest of the world in suspense. I don't really want people to suffer at the hands of the regime but at the same time if it's run as a real-life Sunshine & Lollipops forum it won't really instill a healthy sense of fear in the rest of us.

ancapailldorcha · 24-07-2013 08:21PM

What's your point, aside from creating another stupid "hate Northern Ireland" thread?

Amirani · 24-07-2013 08:22PM

After some carefully considered thought, probably not.

Reiketsu · 24-07-2013 08:25PM

We should just deport the troublemakers, we don't want them either.

Sh1tbag OToole · 24-07-2013 08:27PM

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

What's your point, aside from creating another stupid "hate Northern Ireland" thread?

Having been to South Korea and also Northern Ireland I think it's a bit boring that you can just drive into Northern Ireland without stopping your car even and that everything is almost the same there.

Korea is more interesting that way, nobody really knows too terribly much about what goes on directly above them. It creates a bit of suspense

Gilbert Grape · 24-07-2013 08:30PM

Because the 26 counties sold us out you want to get rid of the north,i'm as Irish as you Sh1tbag :P

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 24-07-2013 08:32PM

At the risk of Godwinning the thread (assuming thta has not happened by default in the OP) it's only a matter of time before the need some "Lebenschram" and head south for an "aunchluss"...

Sh1tbag OToole · 24-07-2013 08:33PM

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

Because the 26 counties sold us out you want to get rid of the north,i'm as Irish as you Sh1tbag :P

I don't want to get rid of it, just to repurpose it. Europe also hasn't had a proper "troublemaker" state since WWII, time for a bit of distraction from the financial crisis, give the Eurocrats something other than crooked bananas to worry about

oldyouth · 24-07-2013 08:33PM

Couldn't care less, it's their own private business nothing to do with us

Cavehill Red · 24-07-2013 08:34PM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

To make our lives interesting.

Here's what I propose: (Load of Nordy-hating wank follows.)

To use a traditional Northern Irish term, away an' throw sh1te at yersel', ya fuggin' galoot, ye.

jimgoose · 24-07-2013 08:35PM

Cavehill Red wrote: »

To use a traditional Northern Irish term, away an' throw sh1te at yersel', ya fuggin' galoot, ye.

Class! :pac::pac::pac:

Duckworth_Luas · 24-07-2013 08:36PM

Do they even have piranhas in the north?

mad muffin · 24-07-2013 08:37PM

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

retalivity · 24-07-2013 08:38PM

donegal would be even more cut off than it is now and the black market there would explode.

Sh1tbag OToole · 24-07-2013 08:38PM

mad muffin wrote: »

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

Grow your own apples.

Pai Mei · 24-07-2013 08:41PM

Would it even be economically viable to do so? I doubt it.

wendell borton · 24-07-2013 08:42PM

mad muffin wrote: »

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

They don't call Armagh the orchard county for nothing.

mad muffin · 24-07-2013 08:42PM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Grow your own apples.

Listen Sh1tbag... :pac:

tdv123 · 24-07-2013 09:05PM

oldyouth wrote: »

Couldn't care less, it's their own private business nothing to do with us

I bet I could find a few hundred thousand Irish nationalists living in the North who might think differently.

Sh1tbag OToole · 24-07-2013 09:09PM

Pai Mei wrote: »

Would it even be economically viable to do so? I doubt it.

I cant imagine this project doing much good for the economy but if NI has limited trade with the outside world then there will be a lot more demand for locally produced goods.

Pai Mei · 24-07-2013 09:20PM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

I cant imagine this project doing much good for the economy but if NI has limited trade with the outside world then there will be a lot more demand for locally produced goods.

Like tea, coffee, bananas etc. :rolleyes:

oldyouth · 24-07-2013 09:28PM

tdv123 wrote: »

I bet I could find a few hundred thousand Irish nationalists living in the North who might think differently.

That's their prerogative, but the majority of people down here couldn't give a flying fluck

KingOfFairview · 24-07-2013 10:16PM

They are too dangerous to be handed control of the machinery of a state

dd972 · 24-07-2013 10:33PM

I thought it was...:p

Duck's hoop · 24-07-2013 10:42PM

Ha. Ha. Norn iron. They speak with a funny accent.

Jesus Fūcking Christ the drivel and repetition and ignorance and insular shìthookery on here is pīss boilingly goat getting.

KingOfFairview · 24-07-2013 10:44PM

Duck's hoop wrote: »

Ha. Ha. Norn iron. They speak with a funny accent.

Jesus Fūcking Christ the drivel and repetition and ignorance and insular shìthookery on here is pīss boilingly goat getting.

Clam down there Nordy, you seem to be going all Nordieish

Duck's hoop · 24-07-2013 10:47PM

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Clam down there Nordy, you seem to be going all Nordieish

Really? Shellfish or what.

I'm not from Northern Ireland.

Pensivepuca · 24-07-2013 11:00PM

No, cause I enjoy the cheaper fuel over the border at bridge end. And southren Icecream some how tastes better, and better cadbury chocolate.

gallag · 24-07-2013 11:04PM

Wha you fukin say er dickhead, ill bate yer ballics in! Nordy nordy nordy nor!!

Capt'n Midnight · 25-07-2013 12:16AM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

A Northern Irish language will also emerge, using traditional Norn Irish terms and de-Anglicising the rest.

Ulster Scots on the official NI Assembly page

Read it.

Now read it out loud.

Some people consider this a separate language !

Some handy words and phrases http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/words

If you want to learn the language
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/learn/lesson/1

Realistically without money from the UK treasury they won't survive. Economic warefare would be to block the gas pipeline and electrical interconnectors and it's game over.

Firefox11 · 25-07-2013 01:42AM

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

I don't want to get rid of it, just to repurpose it. Europe also hasn't had a proper "troublemaker" state since WWII, time for a bit of distraction from the financial crisis, give the Eurocrats something other than crooked bananas to worry about

What about the Balkans War during the 90's. Was that not "exciting" enough for you?

Should Northern Ireland become an independent pariah state?

Should Northern Ireland become an independent pariah state? 23 votes

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