Should Northern Ireland become an independent pariah state?

Sh1tbag OToole

To make our lives interesting.

Here's what I propose: NI gets a new dictator, no taller than 5' 5", a bit chubby and with a penchant for the finer things in life. All borders closed, capital moved inland on the advice of an astrologist and to avoid prying eyes.

Subversion against the regime will be harshly punished and there will be a government-sponsored cultural revolution aiming to banish all things not authentically Northern Irish. Ireland and the Youkay branded as violent oppressors.

There will be a drive for self-reliance coupled with limited trade with other pariah states such as Iran, North Korea. Every now and then Northern Ireland shall make idle threats against the republic and the Youkay, lest we fall asleep here and drown in our own recession-induced misery. Just to keep us on our toes really.

A Northern Irish language will also emerge, using traditional Norn Irish terms and de-Anglicising the rest. Every now and then videos will be 'leaked' of brutal punishment, starvation and government oppression. These will be mostly fakes though to keep the rest of the world in suspense. I don't really want people to suffer at the hands of the regime but at the same time if it's run as a real-life Sunshine & Lollipops forum it won't really instill a healthy sense of fear in the rest of us.

ancapailldorcha

What's your point, aside from creating another stupid "hate Northern Ireland" thread?

Amirani

After some carefully considered thought, probably not.

Reiketsu

We should just deport the troublemakers, we don't want them either.

Sh1tbag OToole

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

What's your point, aside from creating another stupid "hate Northern Ireland" thread?

Having been to South Korea and also Northern Ireland I think it's a bit boring that you can just drive into Northern Ireland without stopping your car even and that everything is almost the same there.

Korea is more interesting that way, nobody really knows too terribly much about what goes on directly above them. It creates a bit of suspense

Gilbert Grape

Because the 26 counties sold us out you want to get rid of the north,i'm as Irish as you Sh1tbag :P

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

At the risk of Godwinning the thread (assuming thta has not happened by default in the OP) it's only a matter of time before the need some "Lebenschram" and head south for an "aunchluss"...

Sh1tbag OToole

Gilbert Grape wrote: »

Because the 26 counties sold us out you want to get rid of the north,i'm as Irish as you Sh1tbag :P

I don't want to get rid of it, just to repurpose it. Europe also hasn't had a proper "troublemaker" state since WWII, time for a bit of distraction from the financial crisis, give the Eurocrats something other than crooked bananas to worry about

oldyouth

Couldn't care less, it's their own private business nothing to do with us

Cavehill Red

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

To make our lives interesting.

Here's what I propose: (Load of Nordy-hating wank follows.)

To use a traditional Northern Irish term, away an' throw sh1te at yersel', ya fuggin' galoot, ye.

jimgoose

Cavehill Red wrote: »

To use a traditional Northern Irish term, away an' throw sh1te at yersel', ya fuggin' galoot, ye.

Class! :pac::pac::pac:

Duckworth_Luas

Do they even have piranhas in the north?

mad muffin

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

retalivity

donegal would be even more cut off than it is now and the black market there would explode.

Sh1tbag OToole

mad muffin wrote: »

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

Grow your own apples.

Pai Mei

Would it even be economically viable to do so? I doubt it.

wendell borton

mad muffin wrote: »

I voted no, because they have the closest Apple Store.

They don't call Armagh the orchard county for nothing.

mad muffin

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Grow your own apples.

Listen Sh1tbag... :pac:

tdv123

oldyouth wrote: »

Couldn't care less, it's their own private business nothing to do with us

I bet I could find a few hundred thousand Irish nationalists living in the North who might think differently.

Sh1tbag OToole

Pai Mei wrote: »

Would it even be economically viable to do so? I doubt it.

I cant imagine this project doing much good for the economy but if NI has limited trade with the outside world then there will be a lot more demand for locally produced goods.

Pai Mei

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

I cant imagine this project doing much good for the economy but if NI has limited trade with the outside world then there will be a lot more demand for locally produced goods.

Like tea, coffee, bananas etc. :rolleyes:

oldyouth

tdv123 wrote: »

I bet I could find a few hundred thousand Irish nationalists living in the North who might think differently.

That's their prerogative, but the majority of people down here couldn't give a flying fluck

KingOfFairview

They are too dangerous to be handed control of the machinery of a state

dd972

I thought it was...:p

Duck's hoop

Ha. Ha. Norn iron. They speak with a funny accent.

Jesus Fūcking Christ the drivel and repetition and ignorance and insular shìthookery on here is pīss boilingly goat getting.

KingOfFairview

Duck's hoop wrote: »

Ha. Ha. Norn iron. They speak with a funny accent.

Jesus Fūcking Christ the drivel and repetition and ignorance and insular shìthookery on here is pīss boilingly goat getting.

Clam down there Nordy, you seem to be going all Nordieish

Duck's hoop

KingOfFairview wrote: »

Clam down there Nordy, you seem to be going all Nordieish

Really? Shellfish or what.

I'm not from Northern Ireland.

Pensivepuca

No, cause I enjoy the cheaper fuel over the border at bridge end. And southren Icecream some how tastes better, and better cadbury chocolate.

gallag

Wha you fukin say er dickhead, ill bate yer ballics in! Nordy nordy nordy nor!!

Capt'n Midnight

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

A Northern Irish language will also emerge, using traditional Norn Irish terms and de-Anglicising the rest.

Ulster Scots on the official NI Assembly page

Read it.

Now read it out loud.

Some people consider this a separate language !



Some handy words and phrases http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/words

If you want to learn the language
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/learn/lesson/1


Realistically without money from the UK treasury they won't survive. Economic warefare would be to block the gas pipeline and electrical interconnectors and it's game over.

Firefox11

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

I don't want to get rid of it, just to repurpose it. Europe also hasn't had a proper "troublemaker" state since WWII, time for a bit of distraction from the financial crisis, give the Eurocrats something other than crooked bananas to worry about

What about the Balkans War during the 90's. Was that not "exciting" enough for you?

BuilderPlumber

Iran is not a pariah state anymore. It is going into transition from that status it (supposedly) had (in the view of Bush and the like) to a more normalised one. The very educated and experienced moderate Hassan Rouhani will be a very different type of Iranian president to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (whose poor grasp of and inexperience with international relationships) played into the hands of Iran's detractors.

Northern Ireland lead by dissident republicans would become like what is described above. However, Ireland and the UK are not going to allow that happen and most people in NI don't want that. Maybe as far as these get is another so-called Free Derry estate.

But seriously if Ireland did break up like Yugoslavia? You could have:

The Socialist Builder's Republic of Eastern Ireland (Wexford, Wicklow, Carlow, Kildare) lead Mick Wallace.
The People's Republic of Cork (Micheal Martin).
The Kingdom of Kerry (lead by the royal family that is the Healy-Rae dynasty).
The Republic of Donegal (lead by Pierce Doherty)
The Nationalist Worker's Republic of Southern Ireland (lead by Mattie McGrath and comprising of Tipperary, Waterford, Limerick, Clare and Kilkenny).
The Republic of Moyross (Moyross estate) lead by the McCarthy Dundons (left out of the above because they don't want it).
The Empire of Royal Northwest Ireland (Leitrim, Roscommon, Sligo, Cavan) lead by the Ming Dynasty!
The United Catholic and Anglican Republic of Northern Ireland lead by Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley Jr. The current 6 counties of NI.
The Independent State of Templebar (because no one wants it!).
The Republic of Ireland (the remaining areas not mentioned).

Duckworth_Luas

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

The Empire of Royal Northeast Ireland (Leitrim, Roscommon, Sligo, Cavan) lead by the Ming Dynasty!

None of these counties are either north or east!

SpannerMonkey

ROFL thanks you genuinely gave me a good laugh reading that

3ndahalfof6

It wont matter a toss, once the south give in (like they do in everything else) they will want to become part of the north.

BuilderPlumber

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

None of these counties are either north or east!

Corrected that. Northwest.

mike65

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Ulster Scots on the official NI Assembly page

Read it.

Now read it out loud.

Some people consider this a separate language !



Some handy words and phrases http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/words

If you want to learn the language
http://www.bbc.co.uk/ulsterscots/learn/lesson/1

C'mon, that's an artful parody Shirley?

Capt'n Midnight

mike65 wrote: »

C'mon, that's an artful parody Shirley?

It's real.