How important is drinks with dinner?

ABajaninCork · 24-06-2013 02:07PM

Cienciano wrote: »

If you're the type of person to do that, you're the type of person who's opinion I couldn't care less about.
The idea of a group of people bitching about having no wine at a meal makes me glad I have a close group of friends that I know well at my wedding and not a shower arseholes that bitch about something trivial.

And these are the same shower of arseholes you're expecting a nice fat gift from, but won't even buy them a drink of water, never mind wine? I'd be careful what I write on here - you never know who'll be reading it!! :P

pwurple · 24-06-2013 02:33PM

Meangadh wrote: »

My biggest issue in all this is the whole "weddings are so expensive, we're not serving wine at ours" view. I know weddings are expensive, but they are also expensive for the guests. All added together the guests at your wedding will more than likely have spent more on your "special day" than the wedding cost in the first place. Regardless of whether it is wine or a drink of choice from the bar, I wouldn't so much think it was stingy, but frankly quite rude to your guests.

You're going to be getting around €100 each from most of them anyway (I know not everyone can afford that, but also some people give more) so I think a few glasses of wine or a drink of their choice isn't exactly asking much.

Exactly... the bar extension the OP is thinking about swapping the wine for is far less important than a drink with the meal.

People will have travelled, will be staying over, will be giving you gifts. The LEAST you can do is offer them a drink with their meal. Tesco do 25% off wine sales pretty often. It's even cheaper again to go up north if you live near enough, and they take back unused wine.

For a wedding of 80 people, loads of whom are apparantly non-drinkers.. you are talking 30 to 40 bottles. A fiver a bottle and a tenner corkage will cost about 450 euro if it's all drunk by everyone there. It might only be 3 or 4 bottles used if only a handful of people drink it... in which case it's 50 quid.

Cienciano · 24-06-2013 04:01PM

viper006 wrote: »

Yet you seem to care enough to write a ratty response to someone who is justing giving their opinion. Ive never been to a wedding where wine hasnt been served and Its going to be noticed if you decide not to serve wine as its very much the exception vs the norm. Its you think it horrible for peoplpe to be dissapointed they wont have afew glasses of wine at the meal I think thats more a negative reflection on yourself than the guests who are going to the trouble to attend your wedding , the majority of which will give you generous gifts on your day to boot .

I'm not being ratty to the poster, I'm giving my opinion on people standing around moaning at a wedding about not getting a bottle of wine at dinner. Think some people forget what a wedding is.

ABajaninCork wrote: »

And these are the same shower of arseholes you're expecting a nice fat gift from, but won't even buy them a drink of water, never mind wine? I'd be careful what I write on here - you never know who'll be reading it!! :P

You're guessing a lot about me there in fairness!
No, I wouldn't expect an expensive gift from my guests. If people can afford a gift then grand. A bride and groom moaning about not getting some standard amount of money as a gift from someone is as pathetic as guests moaning about not getting wine at dinner.
But I stand by what I said, if a group are sitting around a wedding moaning about the lack of free wine at dinner, they're a shower of arseholes. Enjoy your friend getting married, that's what you're there for!

pwurple · 24-06-2013 04:48PM

Cienciano wrote: »

But I stand by what I said, if a group are sitting around a wedding moaning about the lack of free wine at dinner, they're a shower of arseholes. Enjoy your friend getting married, that's what you're there for!

It won't be people moaning about lack of wine... Here's the situation:

-Everyone sits down... order is taken for food. Having the chat... having a laugh.

-Food arrives.
-Someone says to the waitress, 'We didn't get the wine yet'
-Waitress: 'There is none'
-Mentions to partner, word spreads to rest of table. One or other person raises eyebrow in disbelief but probably says nothing if they are polite.
-Group discussion on whether to buy wine for the table, or by the glass.
-People get up from food and go queue mid-food at the bar
-Food gets all congealed from the queuing and waiting. People seperated from partners and laughing nervously wondering whether to eat or not without them. Waitress not sure whether to take things away or not. Mains delayed.

Food ruined/gone cold. Everyone feeling a slightly stiffed.

Main part of celebration gone sour.

Boo!

clint_silver · 24-06-2013 05:14PM

Cienciano wrote: »

I'm not being ratty to the poster, I'm giving my opinion on people standing around moaning at a wedding about not getting a bottle of wine at dinner. Think some people forget what a wedding is.

Reel in the "love is in the air" card for a moment. forget about budget. forget about where the guests are travelling from. forget about the wedding and the "trimmings". If you have a large amount of guests coming to have their bellies filled theres a bare miniumum you need to do so this then becomes a catering question not a wedding question.

therell be an opening starter. maybe vol au vents.
you'll have bread with the soup.
you'll have a starch with the mains.
therell be some sort of sweet or pudding
maybe tea or coffee

all essential in some sort of format youd agree and no matter what your budget, youll get some sort of combination of the above.

Even if its a pot of curry youll have a rice with some sort of bread roll.

would you use the argument "people forget what a wedding is about" if it was remarked upon that you didnt provide tea or coffee? or rice with the curry? or bread with the soup?

The majority of people also include a wine in there as an essential. Some people dont, theyre in the minority and are deluded if they think the majority of people wont miss it.

Meangadh · 24-06-2013 05:26PM

Cienciano wrote: »

But I stand by what I said, if a group are sitting around a wedding moaning about the lack of free wine at dinner, they're a shower of arseholes. Enjoy your friend getting married, that's what you're there for!

Charming! I'm going to a wedding in about 3 weeks's time, going by that logic though I'll just go to the ceremony and feck off home then, sure I'm really only there to see them get married!

Come on- I would spend the bones of €450 on each wedding I go to between dress, shoes, accommodation, presents and drinks, diesel money, etc (actually probably more in certain cases... and that's not to mention the fortune it costs to go to a wedding abroad). I love my friends but I'm essentially spending €400 at least on them. I don't begrudge spending it on them, but it is a lot of money- of which I really don't have a lot to spare- so it's nice when they acknowledge that sacrifice by offering me a few drinks with my dinner. I would see it as quite selfish otherwise. And if there is genuinely a money issue, then I would rather cut back on other areas than the comfort and enjoyment of my guests.

I genuinely think some couples get so caught up in how much the wedding is costing them (or get caught up in having the "perfect day"... the trimmings of which a lot of people never even flipping notice) that they forget (even though they would have been in that boat before too presumably) how much the wedding is costing their guests. If I'm an "arsehole" for expecting gratitude for spending my hard earned money to celebrate their day, then so be it, I'm an arsehole.

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 06:58PM

January wrote: »

lazygal - I'll be asking around with my guests and if it is at all expected of them I'll look into getting wine on the tables but if the majority of them would prefer a choice that's what I'll be going with

lazygal wrote: »

Plenty of posters have said its expected. You mightn't want to hear that because it doesn't fit with your plans, or match your unique experience of being at several weddings with no wine, but I think its safe to say not serving wine at wedding meal is going to be remarked on, and not in a nice way.

As a non wine drinker, I'd definitely prefer a choice, as if it's wine then I have to go get my own drink, which is fine but a bit of hassle.

I'm not sure why anyone would have a problem with people being given a choice, rather than it just being wine.

The done thing of just wine being offered is crap for those of us who don't like it.

So, I'd put it to the wine drinkers - why should only wine be offered? Why shouldn't other drinks be offered? I genuinely don't get it!

Malari wrote: »

I have to agree with January (and I'm a wine-drinker). If you offer your guests wine or another drink with your meal it's the same thing. Or even more generous.

Exactly!

ABajaninCork · 24-06-2013 07:16PM

The point is that guests are spending the day with you. If not wine, then you should offer them SOMETHING to drink. Not jugs of squash or mineral water. A round of drinks is a good idea. It's no different to inviting someone round to your house for a meal and not offering a drink.

To all the brides NOT offering drinks with dinner. Have you/are you planning to tell guests this beforehand? And have you checked that the venue have enough staff to take the drinks orders before dinner?? I'm just curious...

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 07:24PM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

The point is that guests are spending the day with you. If not wine, then you should offer them SOMETHING to drink. Not jugs of squash or mineral water. A round of drinks is a good idea. It's no different to inviting someone round to your house for a meal and not offering a drink.

That's good, but some people here seem to have a problem with choice instead of the default wine!

Berty · 24-06-2013 07:41PM

ABajaninCork wrote: »

To all the brides NOT offering drinks with dinner. Have you/are you planning to tell guests this beforehand? And have you checked that the venue have enough staff to take the drinks orders before dinner?? I'm just curious...

Surely you mean "To all the COUPLES"

WE have booked a hotel that includes 1/2 Bottle of Wine with our dinner. Having wine for OUR guests was always on the table(pun intended) because we have not been to a wedding without wine being offered.

We're also giving bubbly with the speeches so you'd wonder what those folks on here not offering wine are going to do with the speeches "Could everyone please raise their.......................hands and join me in a toast of the couple".

username123 · 24-06-2013 07:57PM

April O Neill wrote: »

The done thing of just wine being offered is crap for those of us who don't like it.

So, I'd put it to the wine drinkers - why should only wine be offered? Why shouldn't other drinks be offered? I genuinely don't get it!

Well this is just to do with the palate and certain wines complimenting certain foods etc.. Each enhances the other.

Generally its just a case of house red or house white or whatever is on special, but people who match wine to food do so to bring out the flavours of what is being eaten and increase the enjoyment of the gourmet experience.

If someone isnt a wine drinker at all I would imagine they are not really a foodie.

Given that the food served at weddings is mass produced and someone elses choice, Id be perfectly happy to be handed a glass of wine, a gin and tonic, a beer or anything else! But I would like a drink there for me.

Perhaps "other" drinks arent served either because it would mean more waiting staff to take orders and server them whereas wine can be left on tables for people to help themselves?

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 08:01PM

username123 wrote: »

If someone isnt a wine drinker at all I would imagine they are not really a foodie.

I'm a foodie. I don't like wine. The two can be mutually exclusive, and it's pretentious twaddle to suggest otherwise.

username123 · 24-06-2013 08:17PM

April O Neill wrote: »

I'm a foodie. I don't like wine. The two can be mutually exclusive, and it's pretentious twaddle to suggest otherwise.

Not at all - cant possibly see why you would think its pretentious!

Simply my idea of a foodie is someone who enjoys different flavours and likes to be adventurous - with drinks (alcoholic or not) as well as food. So it would seem unusual (to me) for someone who claims to be a foodie to dismiss a range of different flavours with "I dont like wine". Nothing pretentious about it. Just an unusual combination imo. Sorry if that ruffles your foodie feathers.

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 08:23PM

username123 wrote: »

Not at all - cant possibly see why you would think its pretentious!

Simply my idea of a foodie is someone who enjoys different flavours and likes to be adventurous - with drinks (alcoholic or not) as well as food. So it would seem unusual (to me) for someone who claims to be a foodie to dismiss a range of different flavours with "I dont like wine". Nothing pretentious about it. Just an unusual combination imo. Sorry if that ruffles your foodie feathers.

Even foodies have flavours they just don't like. Maybe some people like every taste they've had touch their tongue but I have yet to meet any of them.

drumswan · 24-06-2013 08:25PM

April O Neill wrote: »

I'm a foodie. I don't like wine. The two can be mutually exclusive, and it's pretentious twaddle to suggest otherwise.

What nonsense.

username123 · 24-06-2013 08:26PM

April O Neill wrote: »

Even foodies have flavours they just don't like. Maybe some people like every taste they've had touch their tongue but I have yet to meet any of them.

So youve tried every wine then?

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 08:31PM

drumswan wrote: »

What nonsense.

In your opinion. Love the sense of outrage in your comment though.

What arses some wine drinkers are. Ye don't help yourselves!

username123 wrote: »

So youve tried every wine then?

Of course not, have you? I tried lots and lots though, on people's insistance that I would grow to acquire a taste for it. I haven't, and even with different wines, there is always an essential winey-ness about them that makes them, well, wine, and that is something I don't enjoy.

But, OK, to know I don't like wine, I have to had tried every single wine in existence in the world, or else I'm apparently not allowed an opinion on the subject.

ABajaninCork · 24-06-2013 08:34PM

Beer Baron wrote: »

Surely you mean "To all the COUPLES"

Nope! We all know us ladies call the shots when it comes to a wedding. The groom smiles, nods and writes out the cheques!!

Beer Baron wrote: »

WE have booked a hotel that includes 1/2 Bottle of Wine with our dinner. Having wine for OUR guests was always on the table(pun intended) because we have not been to a wedding without wine being offered.

We're also giving bubbly with the speeches so you'd wonder what those folks on here not offering wine are going to do with the speeches "Could everyone please raise their.......................hands and join me in a toast of the couple".

I used to work in Events and event-managed a lot of weddings. Not that I want to tell you your business. But you might want to re-think the bubbly for the toast. Lots of people don't/won't drink it and it'll be wasted. I offered a round of drinks for the toast at my wedding and it went down well. Cheaper too!

username123 · 24-06-2013 08:37PM

April - If you wish to believe you are a foodie who doesnt like wine, you are of course entitled to do so. Each to their own.

I was simply explaining the background of wine with food and musing aloud regarding foodies and wine.

Back on topic - thats why wine gets served with food. Because they compliment each other.

Cienciano · 24-06-2013 09:06PM

pwurple wrote: »

It won't be people moaning about lack of wine... Here's the situation:

-Everyone sits down... order is taken for food. Having the chat... having a laugh.

-Food arrives.
-Someone says to the waitress, 'We didn't get the wine yet'
-Waitress: 'There is none'
-Mentions to partner, word spreads to rest of table. One or other person raises eyebrow in disbelief but probably says nothing if they are polite.
-Group discussion on whether to buy wine for the table, or by the glass.
-People get up from food and go queue mid-food at the bar
-Food gets all congealed from the queuing and waiting. People seperated from partners and laughing nervously wondering whether to eat or not without them. Waitress not sure whether to take things away or not. Mains delayed.

Food ruined/gone cold. Everyone feeling a slightly stiffed.

Main part of celebration gone sour.

Boo!

Or you could order whatever you wanted from the waitress and there's absolutely no issue...

pwurple · 24-06-2013 09:38PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Or you could order whatever you wanted from the waitress and there's absolutely no issue...

So you are actually offering them a drink?

Or is this hardworking waitress also the barstaff, with money belt jingle-jangling as she goes? "Pay up guys" Ching ching! *Waves creamy pint of murphys under their noses*

On whether it's wine or not, I've a few friends who don't like wine, but they are universally fussy. Wine or a bottle of beer would also not be a good sub. It would have to be a specific beer, or a G&T, or a malibu with pineapple .... or a particular brand of cider. Basically it's just easier to send staff around with two bottles, white and red, than be making lists, waiting for drinks to settle, balancing them on trays to the right people. But my goodness if you want to offer wine and a full bar, then go for it! It's even better again.

Electric Sheep · 24-06-2013 09:53PM

There are probably better places to economise without affecting your guests' enjoyment of the meal. A cheaper wedding dress, or flowers, or pass on the chair covers. Things will flow a lot more smoothly at the meal if you don't have waitresses trying to serve drinks from the bar, not to mention as PPs have, getting the drinks paid for.

24-06-2013 09:54PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Or you could order whatever you wanted from the waitress and there's absolutely no issue...

in that case you'd have to tell your guest before the meal that they are being shafted on the winefront

ABajaninCork · 24-06-2013 09:57PM

Cienciano wrote: »

Or you could order whatever you wanted from the waitress and there's absolutely no issue...

Will there be enough waiting staff to take the orders and bar staff to fulfill? Did you check this with your venue? And most importantly - Do your guests know they'll have to order drinks with their dinner??

homemadecider · 24-06-2013 10:36PM

Logistically that sounds nightmarish. Waitresses taking 80 drinks orders at once, sending them to a bar with what - 2 bartenders? - then trying to get the drinks out to people, take the money (people at each table will want to pay separately of course), give change correctly... and this will all be done while people are receiving their meals? Don't know about you but I want a drink with my dinner, not after it.

January · 24-06-2013 10:47PM

homemadecider wrote: »

Logistically that sounds nightmarish. Waitresses taking 80 drinks orders at once, sending them to a bar with what - 2 bartenders? - then trying to get the drinks out to people, take the money (people at each table will want to pay separately of course), give change correctly... and this will all be done while people are receiving their meals? Don't know about you but I want a drink with my dinner, not after it.

And what if they don't have to pay for it? What if it comes with the dinner?

April O Neill · 24-06-2013 10:49PM

homemadecider wrote: »

Logistically that sounds nightmarish. Waitresses taking 80 drinks orders at once, sending them to a bar with what - 2 bartenders? - then trying to get the drinks out to people, take the money (people at each table will want to pay separately of course), give change correctly... and this will all be done while people are receiving their meals? Don't know about you but I want a drink with my dinner, not after it.

We're talking about paid for drinks, so no faffing with money.

pwurple · 24-06-2013 11:04PM

If it's a drink you are offering and providing, then it's all good... except for the faffing issue obviously, but that's more a consideration for your style of wedding. If it's a pristine elegant affair, it wouldn't gel I'd say. But a relaxed wedding, it would be just fine.

A drink is a drink. People who like wine can have it, I assume?

Nothing wrong with even more choice. It usually costs more though, especially when grandad starts ordering the glenfiddich, or the brothers tack on a round of baby guinness with their pints.

It's actually not what this thread was about at all I thought.

January · 24-06-2013 11:10PM

From the start I've stated my intentions of offering a toast drink and possibly a drink of choice during the meal, I've been lambasted for that.

The hotel stipulates that no shots, no premium drinks and no doubles for the toast drink and I reckon I'd put the same rules on the drink of choice during the meal too.

ABajaninCork · 24-06-2013 11:11PM

I wouldn't worry too much about chasers. If you doing a round of drinks, then the venue won't allow doubles or chasers. Singles measures only.

How important is drinks with dinner?

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