How important is drinks with dinner?

Fittle

As with most people, we are on a tight budget and are trying to cut costs everwhere. We got one of those wedding deals with the hotel - all inclusive for X amount etc. We get a 'champagne' reception as part of the deal.

Himself thinks we should use this champagne for the toast and let guests have tea and coffee on arrival, which is fair enough.

However, I really want people to have wine with their dinner.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I wasn't offered a glass of wine with my dinner.

Himself thinks it's a waste of money and that we are giving them a glass of champagne, and if they want wine with their dinner, well....(u get the gist...)

It's probably a saving of 500euro if we don't offer the wine at dinner...but I really think we would appear very mean! Opinions really appreciated thanks.

cookiecakes

I don't think drink but I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I wasn't offered even one glass with dinner. It's up to yourselves at the end of the day but we've trimmed off other stuff in order to be able to offer wine all through dinner.

Have you asked about a corkage fee? Tesco usually do a great 25% off 6 bottles every couple of months where you could probably save a lot if the corkage wasn't too high.

clint_silver

Fittle wrote: »

As with most people, we are on a tight budget and are trying to cut costs everwhere. We got one of those wedding deals with the hotel - all inclusive for X amount etc. We get a 'champagne' reception as part of the deal.

Himself thinks we should use this champagne for the toast and let guests have tea and coffee on arrival, which is fair enough.

However, I really want people to have wine with their dinner.

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where I wasn't offered a glass of wine with my dinner.

Himself thinks it's a waste of money and that we are giving them a glass of champagne, and if they want wine with their dinner, well....(u get the gist...)

It's probably a saving of 500euro if we don't offer the wine at dinner...but I really think we would appear very mean! Opinions really appreciated thanks.

Theres a couple of ways of looking at this, lot people , myself included like to drink wine with my meal, I wont drink beer or spirits.
If I sat down at a provided meal I must admit I would expect wine to be served with it, however, if I knew there wasnt wine, it wouldnt bother me in the slightest and I would get it myself. But I would like to know that there isnt wine being served so I could do this. Id be more miffed that I wasnt told there was no wine rather the lack of wine in the first place. If ya get me. I wouldnt see that its mean at all that theres none. budget dictates and 500e is a lot of money if ya dont have it.

Another way of looking at it is this. how many people are you having? 150? only 100 will have 1-2 glasses. Say 2 glasses each. 200 glasses of wine is 50 bottles. Get wine out of dunnes or tesco on one of those 25% off deals for 5e a bottle and knock your bill down to 250e so now youre only looking at half original estimate if your hotel will let you do your own wine if thats doable for your budget.

January

We're not having wine with our meal. It's not included in the package and we won't be providing it ourselves. We will be providing a toast drink.

Fittle

Corkage is 12.50 per bottle - already looked into that - so even with a cheap bottle from tesco, it still works out pricey!
Wedding will have 100 guests...

I'm glad you agree that you've never been to a wedding where you weren't offered wine with dinner.

Himself says he has never been offered wine at any wedding he's ever been to.

But then himself drinks beer...so probably didn't notice that women like me were lashing it down at the table beside him;)

On another note...if we want the cake served, it's 4.95 per slice for the hotel to cut it for us!! Needless to say, I shall have a cake knife and paper plates hidden somewhere!

toadfly

I've never been to a wedding without wine being provided. We had two glasses per person for ours and I dont drink wine. Most people do though. We also had a proscecco round for the toast.

January

Fittle wrote: »

Corkage is 12.50 per bottle - already looked into that - so even with a cheap bottle from tesco, it still works out pricey!
Wedding will have 100 guests...

I'm glad you agree that you've never been to a wedding where you weren't offered wine with dinner.

Himself says he has never been offered wine at any wedding he's ever been to.

But then himself drinks beer...so probably didn't notice that women like me were lashing it down at the table beside him;)

On another note...if we want the cake served, it's 4.95 per slice for the hotel to cut it for us!! Needless to say, I shall have a cake knife and paper plates hidden somewhere!

Fricken hell, that's mental! Ours will be served as part of the evening finger food and they're not charging us for cutting it!

clint_silver

January wrote: »

We're not having wine with our meal. It's not included in the package and we won't be providing it ourselves. We will be providing a toast drink.

I think I would like to know this if I was a guest. again, its not a problem, its just something I think would be expected at the table and could sort out myself if I knew beforehand. Speaking as a wine drinker, if I sat down I would be waiting for wine to come out, if I then found out there was none, I wouldnt be put out there was none, but would be that I hadnt known beforehand as then Id have to go to bar. not too much mind you.

Himself says he has never been offered wine at any wedding he's ever been to.

Never seen wine not offered. And Im at a lot of weddings.

Corkage is 12.50 per bottle - already looked into that - so even with a cheap bottle from tesco, it still works out pricey!
Wedding will have 100 guests...

:eek: tiger prices. havent seen a corkage that high in a long time but I guess they have to load the drink to make money on the package though wherever they are.

clint_silver

January wrote: »

Fricken hell, that's mental! Ours will be served as part of the evening finger food and they're not charging us for cutting it!

I think that price is Cutting and serving and usually in lieu of a paid for dessert course.

January

clint_silver wrote: »

I think I would like to know this if I was a guest. again, its not a problem, its just something I think would be expected at the table and could sort out myself if I knew beforehand. Speaking as a wine drinker, if I sat down I would be waiting for wine to come out, if I then found out there was none, I wouldnt be put out there was none, but would be that I hadnt known beforehand as then Id have to go to bar. not too much mind you.




Never seen wine not offered. And Im at a lot of weddings.



:eek: tiger prices. havent seen a corkage that high in a long time but I guess they have to load the drink to make money on the package though wherever they are.

I'm sure it will get around through word of mouth before the wedding, 18 months to go! :P I do understand where you are coming from though, but knowing my guest I know some, but not a lot, of them drink wine so it would be pointless for us to provide wine with the meal. They can indeed order a glass of it for the toast if they so wish!

Addle

Very important.
More important than a champagne reception IMO.

Fittle

Yeah, I think it's more important than the champers too!

I agree that I'd like to know in advance if there was no wine with the dinner (so I would know to bring more money with me and buy my own)...but how on earth can I let people know we aren't doing wine with the dinner??? What would I say?

We are battling between the wine with the dinner....(650e) OR a bar extension for an hour (700e)...He thinks the bar extension is more important.

January

I'd reckon go with the wine for the dinner if that's what you are battling with. Chances are most of the people that are coming to your wedding will stay in the venue overnight, they can use the residents bar if they want to drink after the main bar is closed.

phili_g

bar extension for an hour (700e)

Since when does a bar extension cost 700e?

It should only cost 450e?

flikflak

Dont think I have ever been to a wedding where wine was not offered with dinner. I would expect to be offered wine when sitting down for a meal and if not then I would be a bit annoyed if I wasnt aware I was supposed to buy my own.

If you are going to go down the route of not having it then make sure people are aware so they can budget. Maybe you could put on the invite something like `and then afterwards dinner only (no drinks)`.

This is one of the reasons we are getting married abroad. Drinks for the reception, included. Drinks with the meal, included. Toast drinks, included. Digestifs, included. Free bar after the meal, included.

I would also tell them to shove their knife where the sun dont shine for nearly a fiver a pop to cut your cake!! They will be charging for guests to use the bathroom soon. I would also check out the so called champagne. Most of the stuff they serve at weddings is cheapo sparkling wine that they call champagne.

D3PO

Op if I was at a wedding where wine wasn't served at the meal id think tight b*stards. that said if there was no drinks reception or toast I wouldn't think anything of it.

what I'm trying to get at is that wine with your meal is pretty much expected as the norm whereby nobody expects a drinks reception or a toast drink.

If you have a choice drop the drinks reception or toast drink over dropping wine at the meal.

sanna

Fittle wrote: »

Yeah, I think it's more important than the champers too!

I agree that I'd like to know in advance if there was no wine with the dinner (so I would know to bring more money with me and buy my own)...but how on earth can I let people know we aren't doing wine with the dinner??? What would I say?

We are battling between the wine with the dinner....(650e) OR a bar extension for an hour (700e)...He thinks the bar extension is more important.

We got offered stupid money for bar extension till I said sure most us will be staying at the hotel so we can drink all night!
Wedding planner agreed!
Happy days!

Zaph

I've never heard of a wedding package that didn't include wine, and charging for the cake to be cut is just unbelievable. My guess is that the hotel offered great value packages but all the stuff you'd want and expect is then extra. People do expect to have wine with their dinner, and tbh it's not an unreasonable expectation. If I was given a choice between the wine and a bar extension I'd have no hesitation in choosing the wine every time. The other thing you'd need to factor in is that if everyone has to look after themselves at the meal, it will cause chaos and seriously disrupt the service if they have to go get the drinks themselves. So you'll need to make sure the hotel has enough staff on so that there are some just to look after drinks orders, and by the sounds of them they'll probably charge you extra for that.

lazygal

I would chose wine with dinner over toast drinks or bubbly. But I'd also see where cuts could be made to give guests a nice experience. If there's one thing that'll linger in the memory its scabbiness with food and drink. I've never been to a wedding without wine at a meal and I'd think it was a little odd.

Malari

I'd echo what others are saying about never having been to a wedding without wine served. Even if it was one glass it would be a nice touch.

However, I don't think it's necessarily a sign of being tight. Different people prioritise different things. I'd suggest something like putting the menu up next to the seating/table plan and include a small wine list with prices. I know if I realised when sitting down that there would be no wine served I'd be asking the table in general if we'd share a bottle or 3 between us! See if the staff will take wine orders with the food orders perhaps?

Sala

I would ditch the toast for the wine. I have never seen no wine served, it is pretty much expected. That said, I was at a wedding where everyone only got one glass (I refused as I had one from the bar and didn't get asked again!). You could limit the amount?

Also corkage could be bargained down. My sister got it in her place for €8 and got the wine in Tesco when one of the buy 6 bottles with 25 % off.

Dubl07

If I'd forked out on a wedding gift, an outfit, travel and a hotel room, I'd expect a glass or two of wine. If I knew in advance that I'd be expected to buy my own wine at your reception, I would send apologies and your gift would be a lettuce-knife from Lakeland.

tatabubbly

For my package is €50 per head I'm having cocktails, choice of 3 for the champagne and then one glass of wine with two top ups.. There is definitely choice out there.. We decided to pay a little extra towards our food and drinks and scrimp on other bits as the afters is definitely what you remember..

loveisdivine

To be honest it sounds like your getting ripped off. I dunno how much your package was but were paying €4500 for ours with 80 guests. That includes champagne reception, wine with dinner and a wheel barrow of bottled beers for non wine drinkers.

hickory

Why not cut the champagne for the arrival and or the toast. Alot of weddings I have been to do not serve this and our hotel told us very few people provided a drink for the toast anymore.
I think it would be better to serve the wine. If not it can prove problematic at certain tables who don't know each other, do they club together to buy a bottle of wine for the table, does 1/2 people buy a bottle of wine but then have to offer glasses to other people at the table.

Even cut the cake, alot of people do not notice the cake but I think your hotel are seriously overcharging and I would argue this charge never heard of it before.

sweetie

Many venues throw in the bar extension free. I've heard that they apply for a number of extensions together this only paying a fraction of that 450. Id also be of the opinion wine is a must and a toast is only a plus!

Senna

Lot of people going for these cheap deals without realizing it will cost them more in the long run if they want "normal" menu items.

OP just ask the hotel to replace the one glass of bubbly for one glass of wine with dinner. Unless they are complete ripoff merchants, they should be able to do that.

Rachiee

I do think its very important and have never been to a wedding where it hasnt been offered. If the guest know though and they also understand youre stuck for money you might get away with it. But I would be really disappointed. Most guest will be spending the guts of 300 euro to attend with drink for the evening a present clothes etc more if they have to book a nights accomodation, so they would expect the hospitality of a glass with dinner

bee06

clint_silver wrote: »

:eek: tiger prices. havent seen a corkage that high in a long time but I guess they have to load the drink to make money on the package though wherever they are.

Corkage in the hotel we've booked is 15 euro for wine and 20 for champagne and completely non-negotiable but they give complimentary corkage if you want to provide champagne/sparkling wine for drinks reception and wine for dinner is part of the package.

OP I think this hotel is totally taking advantage though, cost to cut the cake, 700 euro for the bar extension ... completely ridiculous.

I assume you've booked and paid the deposit already?

[QUOTE=Fittle;85003187

On another note...if we want the cake served, it's 4.95 per slice for the hotel to cut it for us!! Needless to say, I shall have a cake knife and paper plates hidden somewhere![/QUOTE]:eek::eek::eek::eek:



I'm literally picking myself up off the floor after reading this

January

It's crazy how many people think wine should be provided with the meal, the last 7 weddings I've been to, wine was served with 1 of the meals and that was it, the rest had a toast drink, or no drinks at all. It's definitely not the norm within my circles and people would prefer to be able to choose their drink rather than have a drink they don't like forced on them.

Corkage in my venue is being charged at €10 a bottle. The bar extension was included in the package (€500 value normally stated on the contract)

niallers1

Your guests are going to a lot of effort and expense to go to your party/wedding.
Buy them a couple of drinks. It's a bit mean not to.

You are more than likely going to get the price of the drink you bought back as a gift anyway.

Meangadh

I wouldn't be one for expecting much at weddings in that all the extras a lot of people go for (party favours, sweet carts, ice cream vans etc) wouldn't do anything for me but the least I expect at a wedding is a fairly decent meal and a few (like 2 maybe) glasses of wine with the meal.

I know weddings are expensive for the couple but weddings are also very expensive for the guests and I think it's only good manners to provide a little wine. I've been to a ridiculous amount of weddings (it's kind of become a joke to my family/friends at this stage) and not once was I at a wedding where there was no wine offered. I wouldn't be annoyed really as such if I didn't get wine, but I would find it a bit stingy.

As for your venue charging for cake slicing- that is absolutely scandalous, I've never heard anything like that in my life.

Chattastrophe!

To me it would be like going to a wedding reception meal and being told that the meat is provided - but you're expected to pay for the veg and sides etc yourself.

It would be a bit of a pain in the ass for all the guests to be left to sort out their own drinks. It's not even the cost, really (although it does come across as very tight) - it's more the awkwardness of having guests getting settled at the table, waiting for the wine and eventually realising it's not going to come, then everyone up and down to the bar during the meal ... I dunno, if I was the one throwing the party, I'd be fairly mortified to have my guests make all the effort and give us gifts etc, and then not even give them a glass of wine with their dinner! I'd cut costs in a lot of other places to avoid that situation, to be honest.

Cookie_Monster

I agree with the above tbh and if it came down to it would prioritise drinks over dessert (but that's just me knowing my family )

Either way to have a package without dinner wine in it is a bit stingy. Our €55 per head covered prosecco* reception, 3/4s bottle wine per person with dinner and prosecco toast after, it can't be that expensive can it?!? I mean the booze is the best part of 15-20 of that on its own.

we opted for this as it's a million times nicer than champagne

clint_silver

[Deleted User] wrote: »

:eek::eek::eek::eek:



I'm literally picking myself up off the floor after reading this

As I said earlier this charge is usually when the couple want their cake served as a dessert or afters finger food so the hotel would be serving someone else's food in lieu of their own. Kind of like a corkage fee. If the hotel are offering a bare bones package already, I see their point.

cmbutterfly45

It would be a bit of a pain in the ass for all the guests to be left to sort out their own drinks. It's not even the cost, really (although it does come across as very tight) - it's more the awkwardness of having guests getting settled at the table, waiting for the wine and eventually realising it's not going to come, then everyone up and down to the bar during the meal ... I dunno, if I was the one throwing the party, I'd be fairly mortified to have my guests make all the effort and give us gifts etc, and then not even give them a glass of wine with their dinner!"


Ha that made me laugh I was at a "wedding" recently where we were all called to the ballroom and settled down only to find out there was no food!!!!!!
It was fairly awkward when everyone realised we weren't getting food

I think the prices hotel are giving you for corkage, cake, extension are way too expensive, is there no haggle room?
I do agree with other posters that wine is almost essential we are having a half bottle per guest incl in our package we also get drinks reception and we can hav sparkling wine for reception with no corkage

lazygal

January wrote: »

It's crazy how many people think wine should be provided with the meal, the last 7 weddings I've been to, wine was served with 1 of the meals and that was it, the rest had a toast drink, or no drinks at all. It's definitely not the norm within my circles and people would prefer to be able to choose their drink rather than have a drink they don't like forced on them.

Corkage in my venue is being charged at €10 a bottle. The bar extension was included in the package (€500 value normally stated on the contract)

I'd say between us me and himself have been to about 40 weddings and wine has been served at all of them with the main meal. I've never heard of not providing it, I'd consider it part of the most basic wedding package.

Minier81

January wrote: »

It's crazy how many people think wine should be provided with the meal, the last 7 weddings I've been to, wine was served with 1 of the meals and that was it, the rest had a toast drink, or no drinks at all. It's definitely not the norm within my circles and people would prefer to be able to choose their drink rather than have a drink they don't like forced on them.

Just because wine is offered does not force anybody to drink it????

I think it is bad not to offer wine, if the budget is tight keep it to one glass. Would agree with other posters to scrap the toast drink in favour of it if necessary. Other optional thing I scrapped to keep manners on the budget: fancy car, favours, videographer, extra decorations/ table plans etc as the hotel ones were all fine.

My hotel did not corkage option. Bar extension was free though, I would not pay the 700€ for a bar extension

Gatica

Have never been to a wedding either where wine was not served with the meal, and most of our friends are now married (as in we went to their weddings ).
I can understand that you're probably scraping pennies together to make this happen, possibly cutting out dessert to have a wedding cake, deciding whether to have bar extension or wine, etc.. If you can't afford it though, you can't afford it. I'm sure your family would understand that you're limited financially in terms of what you can offer. However, if you could cut some other item that wouldn't be as noticeable by guests, I'd favour giving some wine with dinner.

D3PO

January wrote: »

It's crazy how many people think wine should be provided with the meal, the last 7 weddings I've been to, wine was served with 1 of the meals and that was it, the rest had a toast drink, or no drinks at all. It's definitely not the norm within my circles and people would prefer to be able to choose their drink rather than have a drink they don't like forced on them.

I'm calling BS on this completely. If you said 2 of the last 7 id find it hard to believe, but there is no way your so unique that you and your circle of friends are so out of kilter with the standard setup of a wedding with a sit down meal that this is believable.

besides which just because wine is offered doesn't mean you have to drink it, your still free to decline and buy your own drink at the bar for with your meal if you so wish.

h2005

January wrote: »

It's crazy how many people think wine should be provided with the meal, the last 7 weddings I've been to, wine was served with 1 of the meals and that was it, the rest had a toast drink, or no drinks at all. It's definitely not the norm within my circles and people would prefer to be able to choose their drink rather than have a drink they don't like forced on them.

Corkage in my venue is being charged at €10 a bottle. The bar extension was included in the package (€500 value normally stated on the contract)

I`ve never attended a wedding where wine wasnt provided.

January

D3PO wrote: »

I'm calling BS on this completely. If you said 2 of the last 7 id find it hard to believe, but there is no way your so unique that you and your circle of friends are so out of kilter with the standard setup of a wedding with a sit down meal that this is believable.

besides which just because wine is offered doesn't mean you have to drink it, your still free to decline and buy your own drink at the bar for with your meal if you so wish.

You can call BS all you want but it's the truth, I'm attending another wedding on the 23rd of July where they're not serving wine either but are giving the option of a toast drink and one other drink of choice.

I never said nobody would be forced to drink the wine, but it's not really fair to just cater for the wine drinkers either is it? If it comes to a time closer to the wedding where I have funds left over I'll be doing the same as my friend and offering another choice of drink but there definitely won't be any wine served with the meal. If people are put out by this, so be it. They'll be getting drinks out of me anyway and if they choose to drink wine for their choice then that's fine with me.

Fittle

OP here - thanks so much for all the replies - seems there's alot of opinions on this one!

I am with all of you who say that wine should be served with the meal - as I said, it's himself who thinks we should spend that money elsewhere (on the bar extension, for example).

Yes, we went for one of the 'deals' with the hotel - we opted for the 'middle' package, which gave us a choice for the main course - we're not particularly foodies, but thought it would be nice if people had a choice for the main course at least. The evening finger food is also covered in the package, as are the chair covers (who knew chair covers would be so important!) - the bubbly recption, tea/coffee & biscuits, dj and 4 free rooms on the nite. The package covered a good few of the extras that other hotels didn't, so we thought it was a good option.

To whoever said we would appear mean if we don't offer wine with dinner - I agree entirely (no matter how nice the chair covers are!!) - but then I'm a wine drinker and himself, and most of his side, aren't so that's possibly why he doesn't feel it's as important as I do.

D3PO

Fittle wrote: »

To whoever said we would appear mean if we don't offer wine with dinner - I agree entirely (no matter how nice the chair covers are!!) - but then I'm a wine drinker and himself, and most of his side, aren't so that's possibly why he doesn't feel it's as important as I do.

Unfortunately it doesn't matter that you are not mean. Perception is reality right or not.

Weather its right or wrong, the meal and entertainment are the most important part for guests. Clearly the ceremony is all that's important especially to you and your H2B what I mean however is that in 5 years time if people were talking about your wedding for example, they wont be talking about how beautiful your dress was or even remember what it looked like, nor will they be talking about how lovely the church singer was.

what they will remember though is if the food was good or bad and also if the entertainment was good or bad. (particularly the will remember if it was bad rather than good)

That's human nature warts n all unfortunately.

lazygal

Yep agree with this ^. Tight budgets or not, people won't remember your lovely bouquet or the church service filled with flowers or a large bridal party or a vintage car. They'll remember food, drink and entertainment. No one mentions my wedding dress more than two years on, but only recently at a family event more than one relative mentioned our free bar and great band.

I would cut everything to the bone, except for food, drink and entertainment. That's where the largest majority of our budget went.

lazygal

January wrote: »

You can call BS all you want but it's the truth, I'm attending another wedding on the 23rd of July where they're not serving wine either but are giving the option of a toast drink and one other drink of choice.

I never said nobody would be forced to drink the wine, but it's not really fair to just cater for the wine drinkers either is it? If it comes to a time closer to the wedding where I have funds left over I'll be doing the same as my friend and offering another choice of drink but there definitely won't be any wine served with the meal. If people are put out by this, so be it. They'll be getting drinks out of me anyway and if they choose to drink wine for their choice then that's fine with me.

Where are you attending these weddings, is it in Ireland? As I said, between us we've been to about 40 over the past few years, in pretty much every county in Ireland, and have never heard of not serving wine with a meal.

Can I ask why you're so dead set against serving wine with a meal, if you have the funds to do so? I know I wouldn't be massively peeved to be offered a choice of drink (I'd chose wine with a meal, as would most people I'd imagine) but I could see not having wine as a talking point at the table - and not in a nice way.

Malari

lazygal wrote: »

Where are you attending these weddings, is it in Ireland? As I said, between us we've been to about 40 over the past few years, in pretty much every county in Ireland, and have never heard of not serving wine with a meal.

Can I ask why you're so dead set against serving wine with a meal, if you have the funds to do so? I know I wouldn't be massively peeved to be offered a choice of drink (I'd chose wine with a meal, as would most people I'd imagine) but I could see not having wine as a talking point at the table - and not in a nice way.

Out of interest what's the difference between offering guests wine or any other drink with their meal?

solerina

cmbutterfly45 wrote: »

It would be a bit of a pain in the ass for all the guests to be left to sort out their own drinks. It's not even the cost, really (although it does come across as very tight) - it's more the awkwardness of having guests getting settled at the table, waiting for the wine and eventually realising it's not going to come, then everyone up and down to the bar during the meal ... I dunno, if I was the one throwing the party, I'd be fairly mortified to have my guests make all the effort and give us gifts etc, and then not even give them a glass of wine with their dinner!"


Ha that made me laugh I was at a "wedding" recently where we were all called to the ballroom and settled down only to find out there was no food!!!!!!
It was fairly awkward when everyone realised we weren't getting food

I think the prices hotel are giving you for corkage, cake, extension are way too expensive, is there no haggle room?
I do agree with other posters that wine is almost essential we are having a half bottle per guest incl in our package we also get drinks reception and we can hav sparkling wine for reception with no corkage

You really have to explain this...am dying to know what was going on !!!

MrsB2be

loveisdivine wrote: »

To be honest it sounds like your getting ripped off. I dunno how much your package was but were paying €4500 for ours with 80 guests. That includes champagne reception, wine with dinner and a wheel barrow of bottled beers for non wine drinkers.

We wanted to have bottled beers on our tables instead, as not many of our guests are wine drinkers. Hotel could not give us a price for doing this, but i love that idea!:)

lazygal

Malari wrote: »

Out of interest what's the difference between offering guests wine or any other drink with their meal?

Wine is a social norm with food. Rightly or wrongly, if I'm asked to a wedding and there's a formal sit down meal as part of the reception, I'd expect wine to be served. I'd also like to not be in a position to have to ask for wine, or have to split a bottle with others I may not know.

I don't think I'm that out there drawing a distinction between having wine served with a meal at a formal occasion versus another drink.