Why do the Irish make such a big deal out of approaching members of the opposite sex?

#1 · 22-06-2013 07:23AM #1

Having been to a lot of European countries I've noticed the way men and women interact on a night out is a lot different. Approaching an Irish woman is almost like crossing enemy lines. The guys usually need a bit of dutch courage and the women are often very defensive and assume he's only after one thing. That hasn't been my experience anywhere else where they are more laid back about been approached and are unassuming.

It's 2013 now and not much has changed here. Do you think the Irish have a lot of gender hang ups?

danotroy · 22-06-2013 07:28AM

If I was a female I wouldn't take to kindly to the drunken advances of a male wearing ill fitting stone washed jeans with crosshatch emblazoned on the back, which are frayed at the ends from walking on them. Paired with dress shoes and a Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt.

Singularity 1 · 22-06-2013 07:31AM

danotroy wrote: »

If I was a female I wouldn't take to kindly to the drunken advances of a male wearing ill fitting stone washed jeans with crosshatch emblazoned on the back, which are frayed at the ends from walking on them. Paired with dress shoes and a Tommy Hilfiger polo shirt.

Of course, but we aint all like that.

danotroy · 22-06-2013 07:33AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

Of course, but we aint all like that.

oh no i'm not saying we all are but maybe approach girls in places other than bars.

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 07:39AM

danotroy wrote: »

oh no i'm not saying we all are but maybe approach girls in places other than bars.

its simple ... Woman don't wana be picked up in bars these days ... Most woman go ou for a good time with friends... Being chatted up in a bar when your tryin to have a night out is very annoying ...

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 07:39AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

Having been to a lot of European countries I've noticed the way men and women interact on a night out is a lot different. Approaching an Irish woman is almost like crossing enemy lines. The guys usually need a bit of dutch courage and the women are often very defensive and assume he's only after one thing. That hasn't been my experience anywhere else where they are more laid back about been approached and are unassuming.

It's 2013 now and not much has changed here. Do you think the Irish have a lot of gender hang ups?

No OP. I think it's just YOU has a lot of gender hang ups tbh.

getz · 22-06-2013 07:41AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

Having been to a lot of European countries I've noticed the way men and women interact on a night out is a lot different. Approaching an Irish woman is almost like crossing enemy lines. The guys usually need a bit of dutch courage and the women are often very defensive and assume he's only after one thing. That hasn't been my experience anywhere else where they are more laid back about been approached and are unassuming.

It's 2013 now and not much has changed here. Do you think the Irish have a lot of gender hang ups?

in Ireland its mainly down to the single sex schools , if you don't mix with the opposite sex from a early age you may find it difficult as you get older.i noticed my son at school age had as many girls [I mean as friends]coming to our house as boys,

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 07:43AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

its simple ... Woman don't wana be picked up in bars these days ... Most woman go ou for a good time with friends... Being chatted up in a bar when your tryin to have a night out is very annoying ...

YOU think "most" women don't like being picked up in bars, but you can only really speak for yourself in all fairness.

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 07:44AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

No OP. I think it's just YOU has a lot of gender hang ups tbh.

no I see OP's point ... I can see why men are reluctant in this country to approach women ... We can be such b***h's sometimes when a man gets to pushy, touchy feely... Very degrading for a woman when a man starts making advances of that sort (not sayin all do) .. But men and woman just don't seem to in harmony with alcohol on them either $:\$

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 07:47AM

getz wrote: »

in Ireland its mainly down to the single sex schools , if you don't mix with the opposite sex from a early age you may find it difficult as you get older.i noticed my son at school age had as many girls [I mean as friends]coming to our house as boys,

A child is only in school from 9 o clock til quarter to 3, after that they have the whole evening and the weekend and now they have summer holidays to mix with children of the opposite sex. The whole single schools nonsense is a myth when most primary schools in Ireland are mixed sex, so a child IS mixing with the opposite sex from an early age.

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 07:49AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

YOU think "most" women don't like being picked up in bars, but you can only really speak for yourself in all fairness.

I know a lot of woman who wouldn be going ou on a night ou on a hunt for a fella ... we have better things to do than go husband hunting in a bar full of drunken Irish idiots

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 07:52AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

A child is only in school from 9 o clock til quarter to 3, after that they have the whole evening and the weekend and now they have summer holidays to mix with children of the opposite sex. The whole single schools nonsense is a myth when most primary schools in Ireland are mixed sex, so a child IS mixing with the opposite sex from an early age.

do you just like quoting and bolding or something??

Singularity 1 · 22-06-2013 07:54AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

its simple ... Woman don't wana be picked up in bars these days ... Most woman go ou for a good time with friends... Being chatted up in a bar when your tryin to have a night out is very annoying ...

I find that to be the case too, although approaching people outside of the pub/club is not really the done thing here in fairness.

professore · 22-06-2013 07:54AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

A child is only in school from 9 o clock til quarter to 3, after that they have the whole evening and the weekend and now they have summer holidays to mix with children of the opposite sex. The whole single schools nonsense is a myth when most primary schools in Ireland are mixed sex, so a child IS mixing with the opposite sex from an early age.

primary school doesn't count speaking from personal experience.

wendell borton · 22-06-2013 07:56AM

"Don't people know that's where cooties come from."

getz · 22-06-2013 07:57AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

A child is only in school from 9 o clock til quarter to 3, after that they have the whole evening and the weekend and now they have summer holidays to mix with children of the opposite sex. The whole single schools nonsense is a myth when most primary schools in Ireland are mixed sex, so a child IS mixing with the opposite sex from an early age.

then is it down to religious teaching?,as said by OP there is a shyness about mixing of the sexes in ireland

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 07:57AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

no I see OP's point ... I can see why men are reluctant in this country to approach women ... We can be such b***h's sometimes when a man gets to pushy, touchy feely... Very degrading for a woman when a man starts making advances of that sort (not sayin all do) .. But men and woman just don't seem to in harmony with alcohol on them either $:\$

Ahh well that's different, I could understand any woman in that situation would be uncomfortable when faced with a drooling gob****e who reeks of "eau de desperation", but that's a particular set of circumstances. In my experience at least I can chat to a girl without giving off the vibe that I just want to get into her knickers.

Some girls are disappointed by that too though! :pac:

But usually it works itself out and we're able to have a laugh. This whole nonsense though about "women" as a whole gender and the generalisations that follow is just silly.

The OP for example has never given a thought to the fact that it might just be them, basing their opinion on very limited experience.

Singularity 1 · 22-06-2013 08:02AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

do you just like quoting and bolding or something??

No he just likes to label anyone who has an opinion.

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 08:05AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

do you just like quoting and bolding or something??

Just highlighting points I was addressing is all, but sure feck it, I'll leave so because this thread will soon turn into one of the many "fordinner wimmins is more up for it than Irish catholic bitches" nonsense threads where sexually frustrated, immature and insecure grown men gather to console each other and reinforce each others misguided, misdirected and ill informed perspectives, in the vain hope of making themselves feel better about their lack of social skills.

Bipolar Joe · 22-06-2013 08:09AM

Genuine question, here, but if chicks don't like being "Chatted up" in bars, where the fuck else is it OK? Tesco? Quigley's? The bus stop?

The Backwards Man · 22-06-2013 08:11AM

Why do people make silly generalisations about Irish men and women that aren't true at all?

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 08:13AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

No he just likes to label anyone who has an opinion.

How did I label anyone? Neither here nor in the last thread started by Pug which was closed because it went circular, and this thread will do the same. It was actually yourself and your fellow blueball supporters group that were doing all the labelling tbh, labelling all women as this that and the other just because of YOUR limited experiences, and trying then to extrapolate that out to the entire population.

In a foreign country, you're a novelty, and foreign women are a novelty.

In Ireland, Irish women are no more unapproachable than foreign women, you're just not a novelty to them is all so they won't immediately be falling over themselves to chat to you, the same way as you're obviously not falling over yourself to chat to Irish women.

Lams · 22-06-2013 08:13AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Genuine question, here, but if chicks don't like being "Chatted up" in bars, where the fuck else is it OK? Tesco? Quigley's? The bus stop?

The majority of women IMO enjoy being chatted up by someone who is competent at doing it and who knows how to flirt, have fun and let her relax. It's the annoying needy chat up attempts that are despised.

Singularity 1 · 22-06-2013 08:18AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

How did I label anyone? Neither here nor in the last thread started by Pug which was closed because it went circular, and this thread will do the same. It was actually yourself and your fellow blueball supporters group that were doing all the labelling tbh, labelling all women as this that and the other just because of YOUR limited experiences, and trying then to extrapolate that out to the entire population.

In a foreign country, you're a novelty, and foreign women are a novelty.

In Ireland, Irish women are no more unapproachable than foreign women, you're just not a novelty to them is all so they won't immediately be falling over themselves to chat to you, the same way as you're obviously not falling over yourself to chat to Irish women.

And how do you know my experiences are limited? Blueball supporters? Yeah you see, people might take you more seriously if you weren't constantly berating posters who has an opinion that doesn't agree with you. And I don't see any labelling of women going on here as we're talking about both sexes.

getz · 22-06-2013 08:19AM

Lams wrote: »

The majority of women IMO enjoy being chatted up by someone who is competent at doing it and who knows how to flirt, have fun and let her relax. It's the annoying needy chat up attempts that are despised.

like,i must phone heaven,they have lost a angel.

Czarcasm · 22-06-2013 08:41AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

And how do you know my experiences are limited?

I know from your ill informed opinion whenever the subject comes up, and your quickness, even in the thread title, to make massive generalisations that have no basis in reality whatsoever. How is one person who has difficulty mixing with the opposite sex able to extrapolate that out to a whole population?

Blueball supporters? Yeah you see, people might take you more seriously if you weren't constantly berating posters who has an opinion that doesn't agree with you.

Alright, I'll raise the tone of the discussion then so long as we don't get the same nonsense that was thrown about in the last thread like the deluded white knight that is only agreeing with the wimminz on the interwebz in the hope of getting the ride.

And I wasn't berating you or anyone else, that would be personally abusive, I find people who make sweeping statements and ridiculous generalisations are hard to take seriously at the best of times, but I try to remain civil as possible.

And I don't see any labelling of women going on here as we're talking about both sexes.

Are we really?

Singularity 1 wrote: »

Having been to a lot of European countries I've noticed the way men and women interact on a night out is a lot different.

Approaching an Irish woman is almost like crossing enemy lines. The guys usually need a bit of dutch courage and the women are often very defensive and assume he's only after one thing. That hasn't been my experience anywhere else where they are more laid back about been approached and are unassuming.

It's 2013 now and not much has changed here. Do you think the Irish have a lot of gender hang ups?

Maybe if the guy didn't consume so much dutch courage, these women might not be so defensive. That's just my own theory though, the same as I would've observed some men that are put off by women who approach them having consumed a bit too much dutch courage!

It really DOES work both ways. Oh, and if you want to compare like with like, you'll meet your foreign male counterparts too that are lacking in social skills and put it down to "<Insert nationality here> women are unapproachable".

You seriously think a couple of nights out in a foreign country enables you to make any sort of a definitive statement on an entire population, let alone a whole gender?

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 08:48AM

Bipolar Joe wrote: »

Genuine question, here, but if chicks don't like being "Chatted up" in bars, where the fuck else is it OK? Tesco? Quigley's? The bus stop?

don't chat us up at all!! How many people do you know who met in a bar and became a couple ?? My own experience ... I know two couples who met in the same bar and then coincidentally broke up in said same bar about six months seven months later a couple of weeks apart ... And all there relationship consisted of was sitting in watching tv caus the girls wer usually to paronoid there man only wanted to go out so they could crawl around the pub looking at woman like he was the night he met her and 'swooned' her ... Think about it ... Your a woman ... Your hormones are naturally all over the place so your unstable as is .... And you meet a man in a bar ... He buys you a drink chats you up the works ... An while you don't usually you go along and have a laugh with him .... You start seeing him and two weeks\six months later he suggests you go back to the bar you met on a night out... You think heyy why not ...

You only catch it once ... But its that scan of the room he does as you walk in the door tells you their could possibly be some close to us now that has been with him before ... Or else ... He's usuing me to make other woman jelous for what ever god damned reason we could possibly make up in our heads ... And that's it ... The seed is planted ... The relationship is doomed

See woman are crazy ... We wana meet a man in a place that reflects what that man is about and his personality ... Bars just don't do it. .. Try the library she might think your educated

Singularity 1 · 22-06-2013 08:53AM

Czarcasm wrote: »

I know from your ill informed opinion whenever the subject comes up, and your quickness, even in the thread title, to make massive generalisations that have no basis in reality whatsoever. How is one person who has difficulty mixing with the opposite sex able to extrapolate that out to a whole population?

Alright, I'll raise the tone of the discussion then so long as we don't get the same nonsense that was thrown about in the last thread like the deluded white knight that is only agreeing with the wimminz on the interwebz in the hope of getting the ride.

And I wasn't berating you or anyone else, that would be personally abusive, I find people who make sweeping statements and ridiculous generalisations are hard to take seriously at the best of times, but I try to remain civil as possible.

Are we really?

Maybe if the guy didn't consume so much dutch courage, these women might not be so defensive. That's just my own theory though, the same as I would've observed some men that are put off by women who approach them having consumed a bit too much dutch courage!

It really DOES work both ways. Oh, and if you want to compare like with like, you'll meet your foreign male counterparts too that are lacking in social skills and put it down to "<Insert nationality here> women are unapproachable".

You seriously think a couple of nights out in a foreign country enables you to make any sort of a definitive statement on an entire population, let alone a whole gender?

I've been here all but a week and you're making assumptions about me. FYI, I rarely drink and have no problem socializing with the opposite sex. You just seem to think anyone who has an opinion on women is somehow sexually frustrated. The thread title is about the Irish people approaching members of the opposite sex and I did mention men needing the dutch courage, so yes, we're not just talking about women here.

The thread doesn't have to go down that slope. Yeah of course there are a few generalisations but so what? There is an element of truth to it. Like the drunken Irish man stereotype didn't just come from nowhere. You seem to have a habit of making a mountain out of a molehill. No need to take is so seriously and berate others whos opinion doesn't agree with yours.

The Backwards Man · 22-06-2013 08:59AM

Seanafitz wrote: »

don't chat us up at all!! How many people do you know who met in a bar and became a couple ?? My own experience ... I know two couples who met in the same bar and then coincidentally broke up in said same bar about six months seven months later a couple of weeks apart ... And all there relationship consisted of was sitting in watching tv caus the girls wer usually to paronoid there man only wanted to go out so they could crawl around the pub looking at woman like he was the night he met her and 'swooned' her ... Think about it ... Your a woman ... Your hormones are naturally all over the place so your unstable as is .... And you meet a man in a bar ... He buys you a drink chats you up the works ... An while you don't usually you go along and have a laugh with him .... You start seeing him and two weeks\six months later he suggests you go back to the bar you met on a night out... You think heyy why not ...

You only catch it once ... But its that scan of the room he does as you walk in the door tells you their could possibly be some close to us now that has been with him before ... Or else ... He's usuing me to make other woman jelous for what ever god damned reason we could possibly make up in our heads ... And that's it ... The seed is planted ... The relationship is doomed

See woman are crazy ... We wana meet a man in a place that reflects what that man is about and his personality ... Bars just don't do it. .. Try the library she might think your educated

That sounds like one dive of a bar.

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 08:59AM

Singularity 1 wrote: »

I've been here all but a week and you're making assumptions about me. FYI, I rarely drink and have no problem socializing with the opposite sex. You just seem to think anyone who has an opinion on women is somehow sexually frustrated. The thread title is about the Irish people approaching members of the opposite sex and I did mention men needing the dutch courage, so yes, we're not just talking about women here.

The thread doesn't have to go down that slope. Yeah of course there are a few generalisations but so what? There is an element of truth to it. Like the drunken Irish man stereotype didn't just come from nowhere. You seem to have a habit of making a mountain out of a molehill. No need to take is so seriously and berate others whos opinion doesn't agree with yours.

yes, and also likes to qoute'n'bold

Seanafitz · 22-06-2013 09:01AM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

That sounds like one dive of a bar.

it was I suppose ... Its shut down now ... The building is empty as far as I know ... Probably the Resting place for the ghosts of relationships past

Why do the Irish make such a big deal out of approaching members of the opposite sex?

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