Would you go out with a man or woman with a kid?

mr bungle. · 14-06-2013 03:28PM

eviltwin wrote: »

I think sometimes dealing with the ex is harder than dealing with the kids.

Ya,years ago I went out with a girl with a kid,the father made a career of trying to knock my head off and constantly bad mouthing me even though I never had anything to do with him,the thing is I could understand his hatred towards me,another man around his son and all that kind of stuff

Boombastic · 14-06-2013 03:29PM

Grayson wrote: »

Probably not. Although i know a few girls with kids that I think are nice/funny etc and i might consider dating them, they're the exception. For the majority i wonder what baggage comes with them. maybe a possessive ex or a child that hates his mums boyfriends etc... there's so much potential hassle.

I joined a dating website a while back. and there's loads of women who post up photo's of their kids. So it's obvious that they're a package deal or that you'd be the interloper.
Although it's not as disturbing as when i see someones profile photos on a dating website with photos of them and their dog. and then a few photo's of the dog by itself.

People putting their children's pictures on a dating website profiles. That's bizarre

jimgoose · 14-06-2013 03:29PM

thefasteriwalk wrote: »

As a young woman, I'd have no interest in damaged goods.

Bit harsh? There's a lot of folk on Lap 2 these days. Wouldn't bother me - mind you, I am an oul' dag fer the hard road!

Ihatecuddles-old · 14-06-2013 03:29PM

I was seeing a guy who said it didnt bother him that I had a kid....2 months in he breaks up with me over it :P

IM0 · 14-06-2013 03:30PM

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

unless it was a hyperactive crazy thing which ruled her instead of the other way round. she would need to be a good mum, but apart from that wouldnt make a difference

handlemaster · 14-06-2013 03:32PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I was seeing a guy who said it didnt bother him that I had a kid....2 months in he breaks up with me over it :P

or so he told you

Ihatecuddles-old · 14-06-2013 03:33PM

handlemaster wrote: »

or so he told you

Oh God dont say that to me...

TPD · 14-06-2013 03:33PM

I'm 23. So eh.. no.

Grayson · 14-06-2013 03:35PM

Boombastic wrote: »

People putting their children's pictures on a dating website profiles. That's bizarre

they're the kind of people that start their description with something like "Well, I'm a mum and love my 5 children to bits"

Sciprio · 14-06-2013 03:36PM

Personally, I wouldn't have any interest in a woman with kids. I would probably reconsider if i got on really well but the odds are highly against it.

I Heart Internet · 14-06-2013 03:37PM

I don't even like the thought that my partner might have held hands with another man.

So having a constant reminder of another man in the picture - no matter how nice the child is - would be a no-no for me.

That might be a bit harsh - but it would turn me off.

Gmol · 14-06-2013 03:37PM

TPD wrote: »

I'm 23. So eh.. no.

in Soviet relationship kid is ..you

jimgoose · 14-06-2013 03:40PM

TPD wrote: »

I'm 23. So eh.. no.

I have a step-daughter your age. She still regards me with a sort of fascinated horror. I'm sure she thinks I'm the Kurgan, or something!

:D:D

Cienciano · 14-06-2013 03:44PM

I'm 35 now, so no. But when I was in my 20's, not a hope.

jimgoose · 14-06-2013 03:44PM

Ihatecuddles wrote: »

I was seeing a guy who said it didnt bother him that I had a kid....2 months in he breaks up with me over it :P

Well in all fairness, you do hate cuddles.

Grayson wrote: »

they're the kind of people that start their description with something like "Well, I'm a mum and love my 5 children to bits"

Indeed. Such people are often "bubbly" and/or "vivacious" also.

old hippy · 14-06-2013 03:49PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I don't even like the thought that my partner might have held hands with another man.

So having a constant reminder of another man in the picture - no matter how nice the child is - would be a no-no for me.

That might be a bit harsh - but it would turn me off.

Extremely harsh

and would your partner have a problem with your dating/relationship history?

keano_afc · 14-06-2013 03:49PM

I'm going out with my wife tomorrow night, and she has a kid. It is mine though.

GreeBo · 14-06-2013 03:52PM

old hippy wrote: »

If I loved that person, sure. I'm not a big fan of kids but when you love someone, you compromise.

I guess though you make the decision about the kid before you are in love with the person.
Unless you are a love at first sight person (or the other person hides the fact they have a kid!)

Camrat · 14-06-2013 03:59PM

If you're asking would i go out on a date with(in my case) a single mother, the answer would be yes. Them having children wouldn't be a issue.

If the relationship continued however and got serious, looking into the future family etc etc then YES, this would become a issue for me. It's a feeling i get (like its not a pure family) as in breed, if that makes sense.

Tbh i'd say she is using it as an excuse to dump him. (ouch)

Daveysil15 · 14-06-2013 04:05PM

I went out with a girl a few years ago who had a 5 year old son. It didn't really bother me at the time and the kid was fairly quite and not troublesome. I'd imagine it depends on how old the kid is and how well they take to you. If everyone gets on great then its fine, but that is not always the case. If I like a girl it wouldn't turn me off, but I probably would still prefer if she didn't have any kids. You can't always get everything your own way though, and the right person doesn't come along very often.

BraziliaNZ · 14-06-2013 04:14PM

Camrat wrote: »

Tbh i'd say she is using it as an excuse to dump him. (ouch)

I'd say so too, I mean he has red hair ffs, but I think he dodged a bullet, I couldn't live with someone else's 5 year old all up in my grill.

I Heart Internet · 14-06-2013 04:16PM

old hippy wrote: »

Extremely harsh and would your partner have a problem with your dating/relationship history?

It is. And they may or may not feel the same about my own relationship history. But that's how I feel.

astonaidan · 14-06-2013 04:20PM

Well the funny thing is, I actually like kids, but do I see myself going out with a girl who had one, I have to be honest and say no.
I think even though Im 27 I am fat to immature for kids

sunflower27 · 14-06-2013 04:20PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I don't even like the thought that my partner might have held hands with another man.

So having a constant reminder of another man in the picture - no matter how nice the child is - would be a no-no for me.

That might be a bit harsh - but it would turn me off.

That is really extreme, seriously.

WOW.

smcgiff · 14-06-2013 04:24PM

sunflower27 wrote: »

That is really extreme, seriously.

No it's not.

But, <insert deity of choice here> forbid, I found myself back on the dating scene, it wouldn't be as big an issue now. If I found her attractive, intelligent and good fun I don't think it would stop me now.

Richard Hillman · 14-06-2013 04:26PM

No right now but at my age the pool of prospective partners is getting shallower every day.

Ihatecuddles-old · 14-06-2013 04:26PM

smcgiff wrote: »

No it's not.

But, <insert deity of choice here> forbid, I found myself back on the dating scene, it wouldn't be as big an issue now. If I found her attractive, intelligent and good fun I don't think it would stop me now.

You'd be having such a good time? Having a ball?

TPD · 14-06-2013 04:26PM

jimgoose wrote: »

I have a step-daughter your age. She still regards me with a sort of fascinated horror. I'm sure she thinks I'm the Kurgan, or something! :D:D

Hopefully you're a bit older than me :pac:

banie01 · 14-06-2013 04:28PM

I Heart Internet wrote: »

I don't even like the thought that my partner might have held hands with another man.

So having a constant reminder of another man in the picture - no matter how nice the child is - would be a no-no for me.

That might be a bit harsh - but it would turn me off.

Jesus thats harsh!
I'm a widower with a 9y.o kid and I'm now seeing someone thats developed into quite a serious relationship(which I thought I'd never have again but 6 yrs later I'm trying at least)
And your sentiment is one that terrifies me....
I want her to know that she's not a 2nd place or a consolation prize, but rather that she's my 2nd chance....
And it terrifies me that she might ever see herself competing with a ghost of a memory....

But i never thought that she might see my kid as reminder I have a past too or that he could be the dealbreaker

Bot that I'd ever choose anyone over him

agriman27 · 14-06-2013 04:31PM

Not at all baggage is rubbish:pac:

Would you go out with a man or woman with a kid?

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