How important is drinks with dinner?

Sleepy · 13-06-2013 12:27PM

Unless you've put down a crazy deposit I'd seriously re-consider your venue OP.

Between trying to charge you for a bar extension, Celtic Tiger corkage charges and the fee for cutting the cake I'd be asking if they were looking for the Right of First Night and all!

People remember 3 things about your wedding: the food, the band and the wine. Spend the money on these and cut back on everything else. No wine and an early end to the night will seriously impact on peoples enjoyment of your day.

clint_silver · 13-06-2013 12:46PM

Sleepy wrote: »

Unless you've put down a crazy deposit I'd seriously re-consider your venue OP.

Between trying to charge you for a bar extension, Celtic Tiger corkage charges and the fee for cutting the cake I'd be asking if they were looking for the Right of First Night and all!

Ive seen quotes from hotels that are rock bottom for bare minimum, might be doing 35e a head. But everything, like op's case, is extra. you might get more wiggle room elsewhere but pay 50e a head so are you really saving by the time the maths are done?

If I was getting hitched today Id take the rock bottom price and start working up rather than the "thinking I was getting a deal at 50e a head, but in fact am not" deal.

Sleepy wrote: »

People remember 3 things about your wedding: the food, the band and the wine. Spend the money on these and cut back on everything else. No wine and an early end to the night will seriously impact on peoples enjoyment of your day.

This. Every day of the week.

Sleepy · 13-06-2013 12:52PM

clint_silver wrote: »

Ive seen quotes from hotels that are rock bottom for bare minimum, might be doing 35e a head. But everything, like op's case, is extra. you might get more wiggle room elsewhere but pay 50e a head so are you really saving by the time the maths are done?

If I was getting hitched today Id take the rock bottom price and start working up rather than the "thinking I was getting a deal at 50e a head, but in fact am not" deal.

Yep, that's what we did though tbh the rock bottom offering still had everything bar the wine, our candy table and we added some extra evening food to what came with the package deal.

Even after adding the cost of (good) wine our venue still came to significantly less than €50 a head though!

Chocoholic84 · 14-06-2013 11:13AM

Wow I'm gobsmacked at the gall of your hotel!! €4.95 to cut a slice of cake? They would have been told where to go :eek:

When we got married last year, we got punch reception as well as T & C/biccies on arrival, wine with food, choice of 2 mains, champagne toast, and all afters food with our rate, and it was well under €50 a head as well. We haggled loads, and ended up getting the most expensive package for the price of the cheapest

Seriously....get wine with the meal - it'll be remembered if you don't!

And if you haven't paid a hefty deposit already....I'd be looking around at other venues too!

username123 · 14-06-2013 11:24AM

Sleepy wrote: »

People remember 3 things about your wedding: the food, the band and the wine. Spend the money on these and cut back on everything else. No wine and an early end to the night will seriously impact on peoples enjoyment of your day.

Disagree, people remember the booze and the music - thats it.

Mass produced hotel food is not my idea of a nice meal, by the time it hits the table its usually rubbery or not hot anymore. Or so samey that all the meals of all the weddings blend into one big blurry memory of tepid beef..... I only remember the food if its spectacularly bad or there isnt enough of it.

Fittle · 14-06-2013 11:26AM

Hefty 'non-transferable, non-refundable' deposit paid, unfortunately!

We opted for the middle 'package' - it's 50e per head...we DO get the DJ, seat covers etc with it..I did the maths and when I went for the cheaper package at this hotel, and two others, things like seat covers weren't included (which I know I can do without btw!)..

Anyway, I won't be paying the 4.95 per slice of cake either! I'd rather have no cake!

username123 · 14-06-2013 11:31AM

Fittle wrote: »

Anyway, I won't be paying the 4.95 per slice of cake either! I'd rather have no cake!

I dont think Ive ever eaten the cake! That is scandalous. They are basically charging 500 euro to cut and serve a cake to 100 guests.

AlanG · 14-06-2013 11:48AM

In my opinion wine with the meal is far more important than either a champagne reception or a toast drink. I have never been to a wedding where wine was not served. If you are not providing the usual basics of a wedding you should let people know so they can reduce their gifts if they desire. Many people who can’t really afford it give a certain level of gift as they feel it is the norm and want to cover the costs to the couple.
I would seriously negotiate on the corkage and cake prices though.

Libby029 · 14-06-2013 12:07PM

You have just suggested it yourself, if u are paying for a wedding cake, why don't u cut that, most people never even notice it... and they can be very costly.
I have to say though, it must be one spectacular venue and it would want to be a 5 star hotel to have the gaul to charge them prices... 700 euro for a bar extension... 4.95 to cut cake.. 12.95 for corkage.. it sounds like they are trying to take u to the cleaners... I would tell them u don't want the champagne at all, and just have wine with the dinner... they can use the wine to toast ye... although u can bet they won't do that either for u, cause they will lose out on getting the few bob out of u for the wine..

sweetie · 14-06-2013 12:22PM

username123 wrote: »

Disagree, people remember the booze and the music - thats it.

Mass produced hotel food is not my idea of a nice meal, by the time it hits the table its usually rubbery or not hot anymore. Or so samey that all the meals of all the weddings blend into one big blurry memory of tepid beef..... I only remember the food if its spectacularly bad or there isnt enough of it.

You must be going to the wrong venues. My sister recently got married and they had the reception in a hotel, 120 people fed and the fillet steak was cooked to order and was execellent. There are many fine hotel venues out there serving excellent food.

clint_silver · 14-06-2013 12:26PM

username123 wrote: »

I dont think Ive ever eaten the cake! That is scandalous. They are basically charging 500 euro to cut and serve a cake to 100 guests.

You see 500e, they see you asking them to serve your food when they run their business by making a profit on serving their own food.

clint_silver · 14-06-2013 12:32PM

sweetie wrote: »

You must be going to the wrong venues. My sister recently got married and they had the reception in a hotel, 120 people fed and the fillet steak was cooked to order and was execellent. There are many fine hotel venues out there serving excellent food.

Yep! had rump of lamb 3 years ago at a wedding and whenever I meet either bride or groom all I think of is how nice that lamb tasted.

Gatica · 14-06-2013 12:39PM

I dunno, I must admit though, that while they do need to cover the loss of the profit they make on serving own food, 4.95 a slice is rather steep....
Most of the cakes I've had at weddings are cut into pillar slices, i.e. volume = height of the tier x 2cm x 2cm; maybe height of the tier x 2cm x 4cm if it's a sponge cake. That's an awful lot of money for a tiny bit of cake, and if you have more than 1 flavour, and guests wanna try 1 of each, then you're talking about doubling or tripling the charge!

I reckon you should keep the hotel dessert, which should surely cost less than 4.95 in addition to the meal?! and then have them cut the cake for free. I've never heard of any hotel charging for cutting the cake. You'd think that's a standard service at a wedding.

pwurple · 14-06-2013 12:47PM

sweetie wrote: »

You must be going to the wrong venues. My sister recently got married and they had the reception in a hotel, 120 people fed and the fillet steak was cooked to order and was execellent. There are many fine hotel venues out there serving excellent food.

Yup ditto, I had amazing food at a wedding in waterford castle this year, and the cliff house hotel last year. People were photographing it, it was all they could talk about until the music started. food = mega important.

ps, there was no cake at either of those weddings. I didn't have a cake at mine either. Totally optional.

Think of your wedding as a big version of having people over to your house for dinner. Or taking someone out to a restaurant. Do you offer people a drink with dinner in your house?

When your fiancee was taking you out to dinner date, do he buy the dinner, but then expect you to get the drink bit of the bill separately?

Dubl07 · 14-06-2013 01:45PM

I think you should name the hotel or at least consider doing so if they refuse to negotiate given the overwhelming responses to their costings.

username123 · 14-06-2013 02:25PM

sweetie wrote: »

You must be going to the wrong venues. My sister recently got married and they had the reception in a hotel, 120 people fed and the fillet steak was cooked to order and was execellent. There are many fine hotel venues out there serving excellent food.

I dont pick the venues.

In 40 odd weddings Ive attended I can remember really nice grub at 3 or 4 of them. The rest was either fine and simply not memorable, I was too drunk to notice, or it was awful in about 3 cases.

I dont like fillet steak btw, so that would have counted as a "meh" meal for me.

username123 · 14-06-2013 02:26PM

clint_silver wrote: »

You see 500e, they see you asking them to serve your food when they run their business by making a profit on serving their own food.

Theyre already making money off the wedding.

EricPraline · 14-06-2013 02:36PM

username123 wrote: »

The rest was either fine and simply not memorable, I was too drunk to notice, or it was awful in about 3 cases.

Your comment above inadvertently makes an important point. I'd accept that, for some people, the food aspect of a wedding is unimportant. And given that many venues offer similar menus ("Beef or Salmon"), I can understand how someone might be jaded after attending many weddings.

But when a wedding meal is truly awful, whether due to poor quality food, rude service or both - then it tends to really stick in people's memory, and unfortunately might colour people's memory of another otherwise lovely day.

clint_silver · 14-06-2013 02:53PM

username123 wrote: »

Theyre already making money off the wedding.

Any business, especially in the service industry, wouldnt last long if it adhered to the rule "we make some money, therefore we make enough money"

username123 · 14-06-2013 02:58PM

clint_silver wrote: »

Any business, especially in the service industry, wouldnt last long if it adhered to the rule "we make some money, therefore we make enough money"

And you will tell 10 people if you are happy but 100 if you are not.

There is a difference between trying to make some more money and trying to rip the customer off - the latter will cause bad feeling that is worth far more than a paltry 500 euro.

Ill bet if the hotel had offered to slice and serve the cake at a flat fee of say 150 euro, the OP would have agreed and felt fine about it and thought no more of it.

But now, due to their disgusting miserable attitude, the OP will be telling everyone she knows that xxx hotel wanted to charge a fiver a slice on the wedding cake.

sweetie · 14-06-2013 03:04PM

username123 wrote: »

I dont pick the venues.

In 40 odd weddings Ive attended I can remember really nice grub at 3 or 4 of them. The rest was either fine and simply not memorable, I was too drunk to notice, or it was awful in about 3 cases.

I dont like fillet steak btw, so that would have counted as a "meh" meal for me.

That was a recent example, I was told the seabass option that day was very good too. I've also had excellent pork, lamb and fish dishes at various recent weddings. I was mainly challenging your generalisation of all wedding hotels serving muck food which i havent come across in the last 10 or so weddings ive been to as a guest over maybe 3 years. As a dj I don''t often get fed but have sometimes had really excellent food at some of the functions i've done in recent times. There are of course some lower end venues still throwing out crap food like in any service industry but value and good quality aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

username123 · 14-06-2013 03:08PM

sweetie wrote: »

That was a recent example, I was told the seabass option that day was very good too. I've also had excellent pork, lamb and fish dishes at various recent weddings. I was mainly challenging your generalisation of all wedding hotels serving muck food which i havent come across in the last 10 or so weddings ive been to as a guest over maybe 3 years. As a dj I don''t often get fed but have sometimes had really excellent food at some of the functions i've done in recent times. There are of course some lower end venues still throwing out crap food like in any service industry but value and good quality aren't necessarily mutually exclusive.

Im delighted for you, perhaps you have lower standards than me when it comes to food.

Nowhere did I assert that wedding food was muck btw, I simply stated that generally speaking mass produced hotel food is not my idea of a nice meal. Perhaps its yours - good for you.

Sleepy · 14-06-2013 03:10PM

username123, even if it's just making sure that the food is "fine" as opposed to barely warm ruberry chicken and over-cooked veg, I think it's fair to say it's important. You don't want your guests popping off to the chippy after paying a fortune to feed them...

username123 · 14-06-2013 03:15PM

Sleepy wrote: »

username123, even if it's just making sure that the food is "fine" as opposed to barely warm ruberry chicken and over-cooked veg, I think it's fair to say it's important. You don't want your guests popping off to the chippy after paying a fortune to feed them...

Ive seen that very thing happen loads of times.

Whats important is that its not dire. Its rare its so good that its memorable.

At a wedding you are being forced to eat someone elses food choices. Unless its absolutely amazing chances are, its just alright and not memorable.

I honestly could not tell you what I had to eat at most weddings Ive been to - but I do remember the rare amazing or dire ones.

therealgirl · 14-06-2013 03:26PM

if you decide to include wine I would buy screw top in the deals in Tesco/Dunnes & put a bottle on each table & leave the guests deal with it at their own table...I don't get 'corkage' fees...a bit silly
I wouldn;t pay them to cut my cake either, that's silly also

As far as your budget goes...it's your money, people come to celebrate you guys getting married, screw those who expect to come for the free dinner & drink!

Malari · 14-06-2013 03:29PM

therealgirl wrote: »

if you decide to include wine I would buy screw top in the deals in Tesco/Dunnes & put a bottle on each table & leave the guests deal with it at their own table...I don't get 'corkage' fees...a bit silly
I wouldn;t pay them to cut my cake either, that's silly also

As far as your budget goes...it's your money, people come to celebrate you guys getting married, screw those who expect to come for the free dinner & drink!

It doesn't actually matter if the bottle has a cork or not. "Corkage" is just the word used for the fee that hotels charge to use your own wine in their venue.

Sleepy · 14-06-2013 03:33PM

To be honest, we went with a Hotel we knew would do simple food well. So the mains were fairly straightforward: Salmon or Turkey & Ham. Nothing fantastically memorable but it was well cooked and the service was great (they could serve each course to 150 of our guests in under 10 minutes).

So, while the food wasn't anything out of the ordinary, it was a nice, well cooked, well served meal. Some of our guests commented that they'd really enjoyed it though being 100% honest, while I didn't have any complaints about it myself, I preferred the fillet steak I had the following night in the hotel's main restaurant.

Food wise, I think it's best to play safe when you're catering for 150 people. Go too fancy with your food and you'll find many of your guests won't eat it. I wanted to avoid the "beef or salmon" but since the other half and her father both love salmon (and it's probably the most popular fish dish in Ireland), that option got held and Turkey & Ham gives people two popular meats so even if someone doesn't tend to like turkey, they at least have some ham to go with their veg (or vice versa).

Cienciano · 14-06-2013 03:36PM

Wouldn't bother me in the slightest if there was no wine at dinner, but looking at this thread, obviously most people would expect it.
That cake thing is unbelievable though. My hotel gave us a selection of presentation stands to choose from, pick whichever one suits you best, not a penny charged for it! Fiver a head is very cheeky

username123 · 14-06-2013 03:46PM

Sleepy wrote: »

Food wise, I think it's best to play safe when you're catering for 150 people. Go too fancy with your food and you'll find many of your guests won't eat it.

Couldnt agree more.

Unfortunately the going in position for hotel wedding food is that you are eating a mass produced meal of someone elses choosing. Simple is best - and plenty of it. I was at one wedding where the meal (cant actually remember what it was) was very small portions. Then when afters food came along it was on a table that people had to queue for and only half the queue got food (probably because people were starving after a miniscule dinner).

End result, lots of people going into the main part of the hotel begging the staff to give them something to eat. Not good. Its the only thing I remember about that wedding, being hungry for hours. It was an isolated venue too so no chance of a chipper run.

I do tend to remember the afters food actually, because Im usually starving for it.

lazygal · 14-06-2013 04:02PM

Our venue had its own caterers, so we had a lot of flexibility with the menu. We went on the advice of the manager, who told us to play it safe. He said he's had couple who decided to 'be a bit different', with the result that plates went back full and people moved into the bar and ordered sausage and chips after the meal. We'd be adventurous eaters ourselves, but our wedding meal wasn't the best food we've eaten. It was tasty, well made and presented, served quickly and enjoyed. I've had better meals before or since, but there's about two wedding meals I'd really say were top class. The rest all merge into a blur of beef/salmon/turkey and ham.

One thing we really wanted was food throughout the day. Food after the ceremony, a four course main meal, and afters food. I'm not good with being hungry and get light headed. I can't believe the number of weddings I've gone to where you arrived after a long drive from a church only to have no food at all. The worst was where a bride was over an hour late at the church, the mass was looooong, the hotel was an hour from the church, and all that was offered on arrival was one glass of bubbly per person, as the waiter kindly pointed out. Dinner was delayed due to the photos and the speeches were before the meal, so it was about 8pm before we ate. The breadrolls were all eaten within seconds, the portions were skimpy and the afters food was stale sambos. The couple had boasted of the 'great deal' they haggled with the venue, but it showed on the day. I don't remember the dress or romance of the first dance, but I remember thinking I'd kill for a plate of chips.

How important is drinks with dinner?

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