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To all the fathers, how do yo feel about this?

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Comments

  • #62
    Joe10000
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,295 ✭✭✭Joe10000


    The race to the bottom of the PC bucket has well and truly crossed the line, everybody needs to relax, my made up stat is that over 99% of the population is well intentioned.


  • #63
    BlimpGaz
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 86 ✭✭BlimpGaz


    kowloon wrote: »
    I don't have children, so I can't really express much of an opinion on this.

    Objectivity levels of modern people aptly exemplified.


  • #64
    conorhal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭conorhal


    CarPark2 wrote: »
    The original link was BS, but there is a general issue there.
    I was in Brussels a year ago, sitting in the main square on my own, just looking around. There was a child walking around, looking lost, no sign of any parents near it. Brussels is a very international city, and if someone grabs a child and puts them into a car, they could be at the russian border in hours. It is not a place to have a 5-6 year old wandering on their own.
    Anyway, because i was a male on my own i felt powerless to do anything. I looked around and saw a group of girls (late teens to early twenties). I made eye contact with one and asked if she thought the child was OK. She wasn't sure, so i asked her to do something about it. I'm sure she thought it was odd, but i really felt that if i tried to do something directly people would immediately suspect me.

    On the flip side, in the estate where i grew up, there was a paedophile (not known at the time) who gave sweets to children if they just called to his door and asked. Looking back, it was textbook stuff, but our parents were so naive, and just thought that he was a lovely friendly old bachelor. They could have done with a bit of awareness/paranoia back then.

    I had the same experience a while back, I was in Stillorgan shopping center and noticed a small girl, about 5 I'd say, on her own and looking all about as if she'd lost her parents. Did I aproach her? Hell no, I curbed that instinct and stopped a middle aged woman walking by and asked her if she would check if the little girl was lost, because I was terrified that I'd walk up to the girl only to have some frantic mother rush over and start shreiking that I was trying to abduct her little girl.
    Sad, but that's the world we live in.


  • #65
    BlimpGaz
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 86 ✭✭BlimpGaz


    conorhal wrote: »
    I had the same experience a while back, I was in Stillorgan shopping center and noticed a small girl, about 5 I'd say, on her own and looking all about as if she'd lost her parents. Did I aproach her? Hell no, I curbed that instinct and stopped a middle aged woman walking by and asked her if she would check if the little girl was lost, because I was terrified that I'd walk up to the girl only to have some frantic mother rush over and start shreiking that I was trying to abduct her little girl.
    Sad, but that's the world we live in.

    Sad that you'd give a bollix rather than do it anyway tbh.


  • #66
    robbiezero
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,203 ✭✭✭robbiezero


    LETHAL LADY wrote: »
    I don't think things are that extreme by any means. The only odd thing I have ever come across in a father son relationship was at a kids birthday party I attended. The father of one boy(the boy was eight at the time) kept kissing him on the lips and rubbing his back. It was not smooching but a strange type of affection as it was his only child. Other than that I do not look at fathers as pedos.

    That is weird.


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  • #67
    goose2005
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,798 ✭✭✭goose2005


    ken wrote: »
    In November 2011 I was in pennies helping my 12 year old daughter buy her first bra. The looks I got from 3 middle age women were unbelievable. Luckily one of the women working their knows me and spotted them staring us out of it.
    She came over and loud enough to be heard by them she asked my daughter. "hey ---- how are you doing since your mam passed away last week. Your dad is doing a good job helping you. If you need anything give me a shout."

    The 3 red faces of the women could be seen for miles around. Bitches judging stuff they know nothing about.

    It's Ireland's biggest preteen lingerie collection, I understand. I read that - somewhere.


  • #68
    conorhal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,097 ✭✭✭conorhal


    BlimpGaz wrote: »
    Sad that you'd give a bollix rather than do it anyway tbh.

    Sad that I'd rather avoid have an entire shopping center stare at me while I'm accused of attempting to abduct a child? Not really, however you get your kicks man....

    Oh, and I did give a bollix, I made sure sombody checked on the little girl.


  • #69
    kowloon
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 14,187 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    BlimpGaz wrote: »
    Objectivity levels of modern people aptly exemplified.

    I really can't place myself in the position of someone with children. How often do you hear someone say 'if you don't have children you wouldn't understand' or something along those lines? I give weight to that. I've heard it too many times to ignore it. Having children changes a persons outlook.


  • #70
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    kowloon wrote: »
    I really can't place myself in the position of someone with children. How often do you hear someone say 'if you don't have children you wouldn't understand' or something along those lines? I give weight to that. I've heard it too many times to ignore it. Having children changes a persons outlook.

    its not just children though its stands for anything,


    "you haven't lived in the USA, you wouldn't understand"
    "you haven't ever tasted pizza, you wouldn't understand"

    also apply.

    if you have never eaten something how do you know if you like it?
    if you have never been somewhere how do you know what its like to be there?
    likewise if you never had children how do you know how having your own child will effect you?

    you can take a guess, but you need to experience something, to have experience of it.


  • #71
    anncoates
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,925 ✭✭✭✭anncoates


    Have two kids myself but if I found a lost child wandering around town by themselves, no way would I try and take them to a police station. Obviously I would never just walk off but I'd just keep close by and ring the cops.

    Me and my missus found a kid lost in Blanchardstown Centre once and even then we' didn't want to walk around with him. I left her there with him and went a got a security guard.

    Sad but true.

    Nobody wants some lunatic accusing you of abducting a child.

    I don't believe for a minute that there is more molestation and abduction of kids now than there was in the, say, 70s and 80s - and I accept that little more awareness than those times isn't a bad thing - but the climate of pedo hysteria is a media - and online community - driven phenomenon.

    As for being afraid to take your own kids out: of course not. That's plain weird. Anybody said anything and they;d be told to fuck off.


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  • #72
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,130 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    Last week myself and my partner were shopping in blackrock with our 18 month old daughter. He was carrying her and I was pushing the empty buggy and getting the groceries. I walked off to get something and some aul one came up him and started saying to my daughter 'I don't think that man is your daddy, is he your daddy?' , whilst looking at my partner suspiciously. What the hell?!

    When I came back and she realised that we were obviously all together she looked at me and said 'oh right he is her dad then' and walked off.


  • #73
    optimistic_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 657 ✭✭✭optimistic_


    No one going to say anything about the use of the sentence "it is endangerous meaningful fatherly relationships"?

    Or for that matter what the hell is going on with the guy's eyebrows?


  • #74
    optimistic_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 657 ✭✭✭optimistic_


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    Last week myself and my partner were shopping in blackrock with our 18 month old daughter. He was carrying her and I was pushing the empty buggy and getting the groceries. I walked off to get something and some aul one came up him and started saying to my daughter 'I don't think that man is your daddy, is he your daddy?' , whilst looking at my partner suspiciously. What the hell?!

    When I came back and she realised that we were obviously all together she looked at me and said 'oh right he is her dad then' and walked off.

    I've not got kids, but I'm amazed at your and your partner's ability to contain your anger at something like that.
    I'm raging just thinking about it.


  • #75
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,130 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    optimistic_ wrote: »
    I've not got kids, but I'm amazed at your and your partner's ability to contain your anger at something like that.
    I'm raging just thinking about it.

    I know. At the time we were just kind of shocked and didnt know what to say. Of course afterwards I thought of lots of things I could have said!


  • #76
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    optimistic_ wrote: »
    I've not got kids, but I'm amazed at your and your partner's ability to contain your anger at something like that.
    I'm raging just thinking about it.

    Probably managed to contain their anger due to the fact that it didn't really happen.


  • #77
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,130 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    Frank Black wrote: »
    Probably managed to contain their anger due to the fact that it didn't really happen.

    Actually, it did happen. I'm not in the habit of making up stories for no apparent reason


  • #78
    optimistic_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 657 ✭✭✭optimistic_


    Frank Black wrote: »
    Probably managed to contain their anger due to the fact that it didn't really happen.


    Finally, I meet the all knowing ever powerful God.
    And who would have thought he would be hanging about on boards, eating doritos from a family sized share bag wiping the crumbs on his faded-black, stretched beyond it's intended limits pixies tshirt in a room with the curtains drawn, dried up curry trays on the floor and the smell of cats piss lingering in the air when there's no cat (that's the ammonia from your rancid shoes/clothes)

    When do you start giving sermons?


  • #79
    Frank Black
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,296 ✭✭✭Frank Black


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    Actually, it did happen. I'm not in the habit of making up stories for no apparent reason

    Really?
    Random woman in supermarket asks 18month old child if person holding her is her father?
    Certainly sounds like a load of bollox.


  • #80
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,130 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    Frank Black wrote: »
    Really?
    Random woman in supermarket asks 18month old child if person holding her is her father?
    Certainly sounds like a load of bollox.

    Maybe it sounds unbelievable but doesn't mean it didnt happen. The way she was saying it was in like a baby talk voice, the way you would talk to a young child. Quite passive aggressive,maybe she thought that made it acceptable and could be easily brushed off as just talking nonsense to a child. Or maybe she just had a screw loose.

    Anyway, unfortunately I didn't think to film the incident in case I ever needed to prove to some guy on the internet that it happened.


  • #81
    optimistic_
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 657 ✭✭✭optimistic_


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    Maybe it sounds unbelievable but doesn't mean it didnt happen. The way she was saying it was in like a baby talk voice, the way you would talk to a young child. Quite passive aggressive,maybe she thought that made it acceptable and could be easily brushed off as just talking nonsense to a child. Or maybe she just had a screw loose.

    Anyway, unfortunately I didn't think to film the incident in case I ever needed to prove to some guy on the internet that it happened.

    I'm trying to think of reasons she may have said it that weren't implying foul play on the part of your partner -
    The only one I can come up with, is maybe she was being flattering, saying your partner didn't look old enough to be her Dad ...

    Doubtful eh?


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  • #82
    ceadaoin.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,130 ✭✭✭ceadaoin.


    optimistic_ wrote: »
    I'm trying to think of reasons she may have said it that weren't implying foul play on the part of your partner -
    The only one I can come up with, is maybe she was being flattering, saying your partner didn't look old enough to be her Dad ...

    Doubtful eh?

    Yes quite doubtful seeing as he will be 40 this year!

    The fact is there are people like this out there and they aren't that uncommon really. A lot of people read the daily mail and the like and believe that there really is a pervert around every corner waiting to pounce.


  • #83
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Before becoming a father, I would have been quite self-conscious about playing with kids - not wanting to give off the wrong impression and all that marlarkey. But since having them I wouldn't really give it a thought at all. Most of the time it's going to be kids of your brothers, sisters, cousins and close friends, not random kids, and unless you have a screw loose you're naturally going to know what is appropriate play. I would never think to be self conscious about bringing my kids to the park and if anyone said anything to me while I was there I suspect I wouldn't hold back.


  • #84
    hoodwinked
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,175 ✭✭✭hoodwinked


    ceadaoin. wrote: »
    I know. At the time we were just kind of shocked and didnt know what to say. Of course afterwards I thought of lots of things I could have said!


    i think this is the biggest problem, most people i know have done and would react with stunned silence/shock when it happens,

    and like you afterwards think, "i should have told her to feck off"

    Frank Black wrote: »
    Really?
    Random woman in supermarket asks 18month old child if person holding her is her father?
    Certainly sounds like a load of bollox.

    you would really be surprised at what some old women say and do, some can be particularly nasty and think because they are 'senile' they can get away with it, and i say this from experience.


  • #85
    doolox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,345 ✭✭✭doolox


    Some old women and men can be very nasty to other members of the general public such as talking Irish to confound and confused non-national workers. Taking unduly long with payments in busy queues without a thought for those trapped behind them. Asking questions and looking for things they cant find and delaying the checkouts because the staff are too polite to keep the queue moving and delay everyone else. Engage in small talk with equally ill-mannered friends, blocking exits and entrances in Churches, Shops, Post Offices etc. completely unaware of the crowds trying to get around them, people who have busy lives and schedules to attend to.

    I've seen it all in my time and just because a person is old and female does not make it unlikely they will not be rude, demanding, ill-mannered or inconsiderate of others.


  • #86
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    doolox wrote: »
    Some old women and men can be very nasty to other members of the general public such as talking Irish to confound and confused non-national workers. Taking unduly long with payments in busy queues without a thought for those trapped behind them. Asking questions and looking for things they cant find and delaying the checkouts because the staff are too polite to keep the queue moving and delay everyone else. Engage in small talk with equally ill-mannered friends, blocking exits and entrances in Churches, Shops, Post Offices etc. completely unaware of the crowds trying to get around them, people who have busy lives and schedules to attend to.

    I've seen it all in my time and just because a person is old and female does not make it unlikely they will not be rude, demanding, ill-mannered or inconsiderate of others.

    Our only solution is to kill the aged.


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